Re: help -- n

[Guest guest]

Excellent questions, n.

You always have a refreshing view of a situation.

.

n wrote:

Tara -

The other related questions, which I've posed in the past and don't recall

seeing answers - are all related to this and your situation. Have you and

your fiance discussed the role of food in your family life?

- do your and your fiance intend to eat dinner together when you're

married? (Altho, it sounds like you're already living together; do you eat

dinner together now?)

- do you plan to eat dinner together as a family when you have children?

- will you eat the same food as the family?

- what would you serve if you were having friends over for dinner? What

about a bbq?

The answers may be less important than the discussion itself. And the

discussion (or lack thereof) may very well be affecting your sex-drive, and

your current mood.

Do you and your fiance belong to a church or other religious

organization? Perhaps the two of you can seek counseling there. As

wonderful as this group is, it is probably wise for you to seek more

direct, professional help than we can possible provide. At the very

easiest level, please be sure to read The Pathway, by Laurel Mellin, as

suggested by Felicity.

You're in our thoughts

n

At 01:57 PM 4/29/2006, you wrote:

>Thank you for taking the time to inquire about my actual life n! I

>will get back to you when I have the time to really think about your

>questions. They really have made me think about what I " m doing that isn't

>related to diet and exercise.

>

>n wrote: Tara -

>I'm not educated to know the right things that you need to help break your

>patterns. But I do know that, aside from your food issues, you have an

>upcoming wedding - which can be very stressful.

>

>Can you tell us a bit about your non-food related life?

>Do you work 9-5? Is it routine or stressful?

>What do you do for yourself that is not related to food?

>Do you have hobbies or activities that you enjoy?

>What are your days like, M-F? And Sat/Sun?

>Which family members, in particular, tell you that you are " gross " ?

>Do you live with family, or are you on your own?

>I know your fiance would like you to eat 'normally' (as you would like

>too); is he loving and kind about your issues?

>

>In other words, I don't want to hear about your calories and exercise. I

>think you have that well under control (if anything - too

>controlled!). I'd like to know what your non-body related actvities and

>goals are.

>

>n

>

>

>At 11:21 AM 4/28/2006, you wrote:

> >Thank you. I wish I could be as nice to myself as I am to others, but I

> >know most women have that problem. My family just keeps telling me how

> >gross I look. I used to be a binge eater, and I still have that urge if I

> >eat anything unclean. It makes me just want to fall off the wagon.

> >Professional help did nothing for me. I think my therapist had a disorder

> >herself.