It finally happened

[Guest guest]

My 14 year old 8th grade son with Aspergers/ADHD finally did what I feared most. He became upset with a favorite school administrator in the same office he uses as his "safe place" and tried to leave school property. He was in for a conference because 2 girls accussed him of inappropriately touching them when he hugs them. We had asked for there to be zero tolerance with his hugs at the IEP last year and it was kinda blowed over by the teachers as not a big deal. This is what I was afraid of, but the response was something I really didn't expect.

Though an action plan is in place, the AP had to decide whether to let him leave the school grounds or use Crisis Prevention Intervention to stop him. He had no real choice, but the CPI caused a very negative response. The AP is so upset that he had to do this, he loves my child to death, but he also knew the consequences that would come. He broke the man's glasses and his shirt and pants were torn in the incident. Thankfully no charges are filed. In the process, the School Resource Officer got involved and was also hit in the face multiple times and kicked. He told the AP that he should be charging my child with assault on a police officer and be taken handcuffed to jail. Fortunately, the AP stood up for my son. However, we will be leaving this school in the fall for high school. God help us!

My son has been out of school since the incident and will go back on Tuesday. We decided to keep him out for 3 days (he does have his Educational Eval by our neuropsychologist on Monday) for things to settle both with our son and at school. This is not being written up as a school suspension, just as a report of events.

I am concerned that his upset became rage with the restraint and at that point he lost all ability to be responsible for his actions. I also realize the potential for him and others in other settings, school and community.

I did take my son on a "field trip" to the county sherrif's office and a tour of the jail where he could see a holding room for juveniles and see adult men in custody and in jail. He was very quiet, not making eye contact and not saying a word. He is quiet anyway, but he wouldn't respond to the Capt. and he knew him from elementary school as his DARE officer! I had to explain our situation to the Capt. and I gave him some information on autism and law enforcement, encouraging them to train their officers in the event they come across a child or adult with autism. The Capt. was very interested, his wife is a special ed teacher in a neigboring county (We are in Walton).

I just hope it sinks in that jail is not a place you want to go. It was creepy for me to see these guys, especially when they were staring at my son. One even acted like he wanted to give him a honeybun cake while motioning for him to come on in through the glass. One started whitsling at him. All were giving him the eye. (this is pre-arranged to scare most kids from the thought of going to jail, the inmates respond to the Capt. requests during the tour.) The Capt. and myself were telling my son that these men were not his friends and they would hurt him if he were ever in jail. Yet when we turned to leave, my son waved good-bye to them. Of course, that is a major red flag to me that he didn't really get it.

I am helping others all the time.... now I need some input from you.... Have you ever experienced this and what did you do about it? I have learned that kids as young as kindergartners have been arrested. We are very thankful that our AP is the wonderful man that he is. His only wish is to restore the relationship with our son. If they were all that good, we would be in good shape. We have 3 weeks left and finding another "safe place" in the building is part of our action plan when he goes back. Keeping him in the building is going to be the hardest thing, but he can't leave the property if he is inside. We will have another IEP for 9th grade once CRCT scores are back, so I want to be sure I don't leave anything out regarding this situation and his protection in the future.

Thanks for any input on what you have experienced and the help you have sought for your child.

Sincerely, Special Educational Consultant for Autism Spectrum DisordersParent to Parent Supporting Parent Families of Autism/Asperger's Syndrome Care, Educate and Support (F.A.C.E.S.) 770-207-6346 homecontact me at: T50@...visit our webpage: http://georgiafaces.info

"A world of normalcy in a world of abnormalcy" - Padgett age 14 with Aspergers on how he views his world