about face blindess

August 1, 2007

" For instance is anyone else afraid to answer the phone or even

listen to their messages. I have the fear that people will be upset

with me and tell me on the phone. Or sometimes I am just really

afraid even to read e-mail. I get anxious. "

I just don't like answering the phone. When I am home alone, if I do

not feel like answering, I don't. I figure if it is important

enough, someone will call back or leave a message. Then I can deal

with them on my own time.

Nothing says that we MUST answer the phone when it rings like some

Pavlovian dog. We pay for the service, so we can do what we want

with it. In my case, that means ignoring it.

" My old employer used to call me radar. I would get him things

before he asked me. It's funny I never minded being weird. it was

lonely but I never minded, other people could never let me be and

that is always when i had trouble. "

I could always outguess what my boss was going to do next, unless my

boss was unintelligent, in which case he or she would be

unpredictable.

Tom

Administrator

August 1, 2007

In a message dated 8/1/2007 12:40:40 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

Nothing says that we MUST answer the phone when it rings like some Pavlovian dog. We pay for the service, so we can do what we want with it. In my case, that means ignoring it.

Interesting way to put it. I personally use the phone as a reaction drill. Since you never know when it is going to ring, it keeps the reflexes sharp. Most of the time, I can answer it before the second ring, unless I'm all tangled up in a blanket or something. If it is someone I don't want to talk to, then I can also exercise my sarcasm and caustic wit, if not outright vulgarity.

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August 1, 2007

In a message dated 8/1/2007 1:59:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, mnmimi@... writes:

The phone has become almost a physical insult to me (it has come to mean alarm) sometimes I jump out of my skin when it rings.

That sounds like my mother. It is actually kind of funny. She can be near the phone when it rings and she does the "funky chicken" surprise dance. Really funny was the first time she carried the cordless phone in her housecoat pocket. Not only did she jump the first ring but the second as well. I end up sneaking up on her unintentionally from time to time to the same effect when I speak to her.

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August 1, 2007

>

> In a message dated 8/1/2007 12:40:40 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> no_reply writes:

>

> Nothing says that we MUST answer the phone when it rings like some

> Pavlovian dog. We pay for the service, so we can do what we want

> with it. In my case, that means ignoring it.

>

The phone has become almost a physical insult to me (it has come to

mean alarm) sometimes I jump out of my skin when it rings. In the

middle of the night I do respond as if I must save a life. I never

disregard middle of the night calls. For me night is when most bad

things happen so I am afraid a family member is hurt and I go into life

or death mode. so when it is nothing I am shaken for sometime after.

I prefer to make a date and keep it(than constantly call to check-in)

I guess the phone seems an invasion unless I know someone is calling

att a particular time

August 1, 2007

" In the middle of the night I do respond as if I must save a life. I

never disregard middle of the night calls. For me night is when most

bad things happen so I am afraid a family member is hurt and I go into

life or death mode. "

I hate my extended family, so if the phone rings in the middle of the

night I ignore it, and that works well. You avoid a lot of funerals

and wakes when you don't bother to find out whether or not someone has

died.

Tom

Administrator

August 2, 2007

I also startle people I used to do this especially in school. I was

friends with the janitor and we would open the school together, I would

try to make noise but I always ended up appearing to him. (he died of

a heart attack some years later) I always felt guilty that perhaps I

caused damage.

I will wait for someone to notice me, but now if a person is older I am

careful to make additional noise.

The phone can make me do that " funky chicken " thing. especially at 4 in

the AM. My daughter is in Israel

the alarm will also produce instant movement. (I had trained mysef to

wake up a few min before the alarm and shut it off before it sounded)

but BF needs the sound so I suffer minor infarctions daily

August 2, 2007

" I also startle people I used to do this especially in school. I was

friends with the janitor and we would open the school together, I would

try to make noise but I always ended up appearing to him. (he died of

a heart attack some years later) I always felt guilty that perhaps I

caused damage.

" I will wait for someone to notice me, but now if a person is older I

am careful to make additional noise. "

This reminds me of the conversations that have been held here in the

past about electric eye doors ignoring Aspies.

It seems that nobody, and very few things, seem to know we are alive.

The military could have us stand in front of them and call us

camoflage.

" I had trained mysef to wake up a few min before the alarm and shut it

off before it sounded. "

I am like this too. It does not matter what time I set the alarm for.

Tom

Administrator

August 2, 2007

> That sounds like my mother. She can be near the phone when it rings

and she does the " funky chicken " surprise dance.

I laugh out loud when I read this. I imagine how the funcky chicken

suprise dance looks!

August 2, 2007

In a message dated 8/2/2007 4:59:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

I laugh out loud when I read this. I imagine how the funcky chicken suprise dance looks!

Have you ever seen someone jump from surprise? They kind of tighten up and shake, sort of like they are being shocked with electricity. That's what she does, sometimes more dramatically than others. Now and then we even get sound effects too!

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August 2, 2007

In a message dated 8/2/2007 4:59:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

I laugh out loud when I read this. I imagine how the funcky chicken suprise dance looks!

Have you ever seen someone jump from surprise? They kind of tighten up and shake, sort of like they are being shocked with electricity. That's what she does, sometimes more dramatically than others. Now and then we even get sound effects too!

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August 2, 2007

In a message dated 8/2/2007 3:20:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, dksunglsses@... writes:

You should record her a put it on U-tube I bet you would get a lot of hits, I would sure like to see her go at it.

Beth

She'd kill me if I did that. As it is, she gets angry if I take a picture of her.

Looking at Youtube though, I see that there really WAS a dance called the Funky Chicken. I heard the term from a teacher at military school who was retired Marine who said that in tear gas training they were told to do the Funky Chicken to get it off their uniforms. He described how one guy jumped in surprise as the Funky Chicken so it stuck for me.

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August 2, 2007

In a message dated 8/2/2007 3:39:20 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, lemnosforge@... writes:

Now that I'm using a cane I find myself frequently using it to keep people from standing too close. It's one of those with a four-pronged stand at the bottom, so I put it out at the full arm's length slightly tilted to maximize the area covered from my body. It occurs to me just now that some of those tote-able luggages that roll along the ground- they could be used for this purpose as well.

Heph

They can and I have seen them used like that. When I was last in an airport, I saw passengers using them to make barriers of a sort against people around them or keeping the case between them and who they were talking with, if they were standing. I just a seat on the floor in a corner by the window with my bags between me and the wall with the windows on it. That was to keep potential thieves away from them as they would have to get passed me first. A got a lot of weird looks but it was comfortable enough and I was left alone.

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August 2, 2007

You should record her a put it on U-tube I bet you would get a lot of hits, I would sure like to see her go at it. BethVISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/2/2007 4:59:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes: I laugh out loud when I read this. I

imagine how the funcky chicken suprise dance looks! Have you ever seen someone jump from surprise? They kind of tighten up and shake, sort of like they are being shocked with electricity. That's what she does, sometimes more dramatically than others. Now and then we even get sound effects too! Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

August 2, 2007

You should record her a put it on U-tube I bet you would get a lot of hits, I would sure like to see her go at it. BethVISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/2/2007 4:59:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes: I laugh out loud when I read this. I

imagine how the funcky chicken suprise dance looks! Have you ever seen someone jump from surprise? They kind of tighten up and shake, sort of like they are being shocked with electricity. That's what she does, sometimes more dramatically than others. Now and then we even get sound effects too! Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

August 2, 2007

About not being noticed and startling people- Over the decades I've occasionally joked around about my "superpowers". One of them is how I assigned one of my aliases to myself, "Mr. Invisible". My mom, who almost never described things in extremes, used to introduce me as being extremely shy and quiet. (Which was putting it mildly, although more accurately descriptive words are withdrawn off into my own world and almost completely nonverbal.) That contributed to my being overlooked in lots of situations. There were even times when the family was car traveling and they would drive off and leave me at gas stations and such Over the years that developed into some rather self-conscious joking on their parts! Also, I walk very quietly, for various reasons. A big

part is that I hate the sound of clacking shoes, so as a consideration to my imagination that others are also bothered by such I have tended to wear sneakers- Though the bigger reason for that are my foot problems. Also, being a toe-walker I guess means my walking is especially quiet, -though now in my fifties my toe-walking is fairly minimal even as my overall gait is still abnormal. Regarding startling people- I've even had that happen just walking down the sidewalk as some stranger is walking in the other direction- suddenly about five feet away they notice me and jump! (And I'm not ~that~ scary looking!) Heph miminm <mnmimi@...> wrote: I also startle people I used to do this especially in school. I was friends with the janitor and we would open the school together, I would try to make noise but I always ended up appearing to him. (he died of a heart attack some years later) I always felt guilty that perhaps I caused damage. I will wait for someone to notice me, but now if a person is older I am careful to make additional noise.The phone can make me do that "funky chicken" thing. especially at 4 in the AM. My daughter is in Israel the alarm will also produce instant movement. (I had trained mysef to wake up a few min before the alarm and shut it

off before it sounded) but BF needs the sound so I suffer minor infarctions dailyHephaestus

Clubfoothttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hephaestushttp://www.pantheon.org/articles/h/hephaestus.htmlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabeiroi

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Games.

August 2, 2007

Now that I'm using a cane I find myself frequently using it to keep people from standing too close. It's one of those with a four-pronged stand at the bottom, so I put it out at the full arm's length slightly tilted to maximize the area covered from my body. It occurs to me just now that some of those tote-able luggages that roll along the ground- they could be used for this purpose as well. Heph VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 7/31/2007 10:10:52 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, mnmimi@... writes: Over my lifetime people have done this type of thing, felt it ok to completely invade my personal space. I favor the American 3 feet rule. i hate to be crowded, and only tolerate it from my children and signif other. And at times i have wanted to run from that. If I become overwhelmed i have(that being rare) In an arguement I can become mute(silence is most dangerous) as it means I am furious The personal spaces vary from culture to culture. Some cultures it is impolite to get within arm's reach of someone else. In others, they stand almost nose to nose and often touch the person they are talking to.

A lot of it has to do with the environment. People who live in more open, less crowded spaces, like rural areas or small towns, have larger personal spaces. Those who live in cities or crowded conditions have smaller personal spaces. As for myself, I don't like people getting within arm's reach of me. There are times when I can't help that, as when waiting in line or the occasional crowd, but I don't like it. If someone is talking to me, I will try to keep that distance. It is funny to see a look of puzzlement on someone's face when I take a step back from them if they get too close. Again, this is somewhat flexible, meaning that if the space is tight, I will put up with people being closer, though I won't like it. On the other hand, if it is someone I don't like the looks of, I keep them about 5 feet out. That is the distance inmates have to keep from prison guards because that

is about the limit of human reaction. If a person starts an attack from 5 feet, that is the closest most human can be and still react to it in time. So, I would discretely size up and target the person I'm not trusting and keep that distance, and stay relaxed so they don't know I'm edgy. Haven't really had that problem since I started lifting weight a few years back and am bigger than I used to be. Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

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August 3, 2007

This suddenly reminded me of the occasions of not been heard when I

speak.

There have been quite a few times, like in meetings etc where I have

raised a point and got absolutely no reaction and I am sat there

wondering if I have spoken aloud, or just thought things in my head.

Although I have been quite sure that on occasions I have spoken aloud

and then moments later someone else will say the same thing and be

acknowledged - I find that particularly frustrating at times.

>

> About not being noticed and startling people-

>

> Over the decades I've occasionally joked around about

my " superpowers " . One of them is how I assigned one of my aliases to

myself, " Mr. Invisible " . My mom, who almost never described things in

extremes, used to introduce me as being extremely shy and quiet.

(Which was putting it mildly, although more accurately descriptive

words are withdrawn off into my own world and almost completely

nonverbal.) That contributed to my being overlooked in lots of

situations. There were even times when the family was car traveling

and they would drive off and leave me at gas stations and such Over

the years that developed into some rather self-conscious joking on

their parts!

>

> Also, I walk very quietly, for various reasons. A big part is

that I hate the sound of clacking shoes, so as a consideration to my

imagination that others are also bothered by such I have tended to

wear sneakers- Though the bigger reason for that are my foot

problems. Also, being a toe-walker I guess means my walking is

especially quiet, -though now in my fifties my toe-walking is fairly

minimal even as my overall gait is still abnormal.

>

> Regarding startling people- I've even had that happen just

walking down the sidewalk as some stranger is walking in the other

direction- suddenly about five feet away they notice me and jump!

(And I'm not ~that~ scary looking!)

>

> Heph

>

August 3, 2007

I will sometimes carry a large umberella for the same reasons.

Oh also reminds me that I notice even when there is plenty of room on a

footpath (walk way) people seem to gravitate to walking towards me - no

matter where I stand or walk, seems others are obliviously aiming at

me - I really don't understand it.

Interesting last time I went into town, my mum discovered this

phenomenon, as she was carrying a long twisted piece of metal (part of

a optical illusion thing, I'd bought for my son), she put it in her bag

and it was close to her body, with only a little bit sticking out,

amazing how many people walked straight into it though.

>

> Now that I'm using a cane I find myself frequently using it to

keep people from standing too close. It's one of those with a four-

pronged stand at the bottom, so I put it out at the full arm's length

slightly tilted to maximize the area covered from my body. It occurs to

me just now that some of those tote-able luggages that roll along the

ground- they could be used for this purpose as well.

>

> Heph

August 3, 2007

>

> About not being noticed and startling people-

I loved to practice walking like a cat, watching the ones I grew up

with. I hate being surprised so I try not to sneak around when I may

make someone jump.

Kim

August 3, 2007

RE Side-walk "right-of-way": One of my very favorite novels is "Notes from Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I've probably mentioned that before on this list. (And provided a link to it on the web where it's free. It's fairly short as novels go.) A good part of the novel is taken up with the whole issue of who has "the right of way" on sidewalks. A lot of the novel "rings true" to me, as being either how I experience life or how others seem to perceive me. Also, I find it hilariously funny- though most people I've talked to don't seem to get it. (It's the only work by Fyodor I really like. The others seem long, obvious, tedious, and well "commercial".) Heph greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: I will sometimes carry a large umberella for the same reasons.Oh also reminds me that I notice even when there is plenty of room on a footpath (walk way) people seem to gravitate to walking towards me - no matter where I stand or walk, seems others are obliviously aiming at me - I really don't understand it.Interesting last time I went into town, my mum discovered this phenomenon, as she was carrying a long twisted piece of metal (part of a optical illusion thing, I'd bought for my son), she put it in her bag and it was close to her body,

with only a little bit sticking out, amazing how many people walked straight into it though.>> > Now that I'm using a cane I find myself frequently using it to keep people from standing too close. It's one of those with a four-pronged stand at the bottom, so I put it out at the full arm's length slightly tilted to maximize the area covered from my body. It occurs to me just now that some of those tote-able luggages that roll along the ground- they could be used for this purpose as well. > > > Heph Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool.

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August 3, 2007

RE Side-walk "right-of-way": One of my very favorite novels is "Notes from Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I've probably mentioned that before on this list. (And provided a link to it on the web where it's free. It's fairly short as novels go.) A good part of the novel is taken up with the whole issue of who has "the right of way" on sidewalks. A lot of the novel "rings true" to me, as being either how I experience life or how others seem to perceive me. Also, I find it hilariously funny- though most people I've talked to don't seem to get it. (It's the only work by Fyodor I really like. The others seem long, obvious, tedious, and well "commercial".) Heph greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: I will sometimes carry a large umberella for the same reasons.Oh also reminds me that I notice even when there is plenty of room on a footpath (walk way) people seem to gravitate to walking towards me - no matter where I stand or walk, seems others are obliviously aiming at me - I really don't understand it.Interesting last time I went into town, my mum discovered this phenomenon, as she was carrying a long twisted piece of metal (part of a optical illusion thing, I'd bought for my son), she put it in her bag and it was close to her body,

with only a little bit sticking out, amazing how many people walked straight into it though.>> > Now that I'm using a cane I find myself frequently using it to keep people from standing too close. It's one of those with a four-pronged stand at the bottom, so I put it out at the full arm's length slightly tilted to maximize the area covered from my body. It occurs to me just now that some of those tote-able luggages that roll along the ground- they could be used for this purpose as well. > > > Heph Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool.

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August 3, 2007

In a message dated 8/3/2007 10:22:45 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 6emini@... writes:

I loved to practice walking like a cat, watching the ones I grew upwith. I hate being surprised so I try not to sneak around when I maymake someone jump.Kim

I used to imitate how animals walked too. When I was really into hiking in the countryside around here, There was a little trick I used. Since I always had a quarterstaff sized walking stick with me. I would get another long stick and use them to make a little noise. That is to say, I would use those two sticks to make it sound like I was a four-footed animal rather than a two-footed one. The first time that I tried that the effect was amazing. Before then I didn't see many birds or animals. But once I started doing that, there were birds everywhere, some flying right over my shoulders and squirrels and things were out. Such is the effect of hearing only two footfalls instead of four, a scary effect on humans too.

Another thing I used to do was to stalk the neighbor's cats. Never to hurt them mind you, but just to see how close I could get. They were the target of choice over wild animals because a cat would be less likely to bite ro whatever, and if it did, I knew who the owner was and could make sure it had all its shots. Never got bitten though. Used to be good enough to get close enough to touch them more often than not, that is until they caught on and became more alert.

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August 3, 2007

In a message dated 8/3/2007 10:22:45 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 6emini@... writes:

I loved to practice walking like a cat, watching the ones I grew upwith. I hate being surprised so I try not to sneak around when I maymake someone jump.Kim

I used to imitate how animals walked too. When I was really into hiking in the countryside around here, There was a little trick I used. Since I always had a quarterstaff sized walking stick with me. I would get another long stick and use them to make a little noise. That is to say, I would use those two sticks to make it sound like I was a four-footed animal rather than a two-footed one. The first time that I tried that the effect was amazing. Before then I didn't see many birds or animals. But once I started doing that, there were birds everywhere, some flying right over my shoulders and squirrels and things were out. Such is the effect of hearing only two footfalls instead of four, a scary effect on humans too.

Another thing I used to do was to stalk the neighbor's cats. Never to hurt them mind you, but just to see how close I could get. They were the target of choice over wild animals because a cat would be less likely to bite ro whatever, and if it did, I knew who the owner was and could make sure it had all its shots. Never got bitten though. Used to be good enough to get close enough to touch them more often than not, that is until they caught on and became more alert.

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August 4, 2007

In a message dated 8/4/2007 1:43:04 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

Same here. I suppose this behavior can be explained by that ape-like dominance article posted.

I usually don't have any trouble with people crowding me. The only problem that comes up sometimes is that my mindset is a little different than most people.

To explain requires an explanation of road rules. In England and parts of Europe, the people drive on the left side of the road. In the US and some other countries, they drive on the right side of the road. This has a lot to do with the military history as well as the history of arms. You have to visualize this. In the older countries, there was a long history of weapons being swords and such. It is easiest for a right handed man to draw and attack a man on his right, since they wore their swords usually on the left side. Therefore, people rode on the left side of the road, so they could draw down with best advantage.

In the US, the primary weapons were firearms. Since a right handed man usually wore his pistols on the right, it was easiest to draw and fire on someone to their left, so they rode on the right side of the road.

Now, I frequently walk on the left side rather than the right. That is perhaps partly because I often walk with a walking stick and that puts potential targets on my strong side. For empty handed situations it is the same, the enemy would be on my strong side. Mostly though it just feels more natural to walk on that side sometimes.

Even when that isn't the case, people rarely gather around me.

On the other hand, I do often get asked for directions. That can be really funny because I might be in a place for the first time and people still ask me for directions. This happened the one time I visited New Orleans and has happened a number of time in ton, SC. Sometimes I know the place they are looking for, but if I don't, I direct them to a hotel or the like where they can ask someone who should know.

Happens in stores too. People ask me things like I work there or something. They are usually a little embarrassed when they realize I'm not an employee.

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August 4, 2007