disillusioned

[Guest guest]

I've felt very disillusioned with people lately. Finding more and

more that children are being taught to lie, manipulate, and follow in

their parents footsteps. The stress I've been going through has made

all the little things I abhor seem so much worse. Hate and anger have

been hard to control and so I sleep.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Number One-kids lie naturally. Who broke that vase? Wasn't me! No wind and you and child only ones in house (you were three rooms away) or Not me! when asked if cookie before dinner and you can see the smears all over mouth. Adults "lie" although firmly believe place for tact. Do not always have to blurt out entire truth, can rephrase something which unkind if unpolished. Certain lies illegal, such as not paying taxes (I don't but no income-working on it) or cheating on taxes. People do get arrested for those. Slander and libel bring lawsuits. Some things better left unsaid. Now-not all parents suck. I know plenty of people who have raised kids well, and it shows! BTW, we tell others how to treat us, ala Dr. Phil. Doormat? Expect to be taken advantage of. Do it all yourself? Expect to be thought of as a maid, or slave, in some cases. Yesterday, Mom and I in line at the grocery store when I noticed some kid counting out change,

lots. We changed lanes-it was going to take a while. From conversation, I'm guessing kid was pehaps short. After Mom tried convincing her she did not need Silly Putty, clerk had dollar on hand so kid did not need all change. Think Mom chipped in rest? Never saw. Kid thanked mom, but mom also made her thank clerk. Have also seen kids hauled out of stores when tantrums thrown, or not given in to them. Bad parenting-local library. Kid told to sit right here and wait. Mom and sis nearby. Kid gets up, walks. Mom hauls him back, and tells him to sit. After several times of this, sis wants to leave. What is Mom's response, "We'll leave in just a minute. I'm looking for a movie". Dumb! Take both kids, leave books behind, go home. If Dad asks about movie, say Junior decided to misbehave so we had to leave. Put blame where it belongs! Kim <6emini@...> wrote: I've felt very disillusioned with people lately. Finding more and more that children are being taught to lie, manipulate, and follow in their parents footsteps. The stress I've been going through has made all the little things I abhor seem so much worse. Hate and anger have been hard to control and so I sleep. Kim If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

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[Guest guest]

>

> Number One-kids lie naturally....

Of this I'm well aware having children of my own. When I was a rage-

aholic they were very fearful and I understood why they lied. I

know very good, decent, moral and law abiding people are out there.

Parents who teach their children ethics and standards to live up to

and that everybody is human and is entitled to make mistakes. I

also have turned down a kid watching job because I knew the mother

was manipulative and I told her so on numerous occasions. I told

her bluntly that if she needs me to help her to come right out with

it and stop trying to use me. I do not let myself be a doormat

etc..for anyone.

If your child came home one day after being with a friend and said

they watched a DVD of a movie that is still in the theaters, what

would you say? I've explained to my children how it is stealing and

wrong to have those movies but do I stop them from playing at the

friends house in the future? If a friend of your child has shown to

be manipulative in the past and you have spoken to him about it,

stating firmly that it is not allowed would you ban him from your

home forever?

Things happen, some beyond my control. I'm not saying people should

be perfect or everyone out there is corrupt. I am just not dealing

with it well at all. I explain to my kids right from wrong, what I

expect from them and at some point will have to trust in them to

make the right choices. I'm just feeling disappointed in these

parents who encourage their children to lie, cheat, and manipulate

to get what they want out of life and the way it seems to me more

and more people think " if everyone else does it, so can I " .

AAAARRGGG!

Kim

[Guest guest]

I have seen adults (teachers and parents) teach kids to lie. My own

parents, and some of my teachers, taught and required children to lie.

Here I don't mean the " social lies " like saying " Nice day " in

the middle of a rainstorm or " I'm fine " when someone asks " How are

you? " and you have a raging migraine or whatever ... I mean things

like a teacher taking a class of eight- and nine-year-olds to a museum

and telling them (just outside the building) " If the people in the

museum ask your age, say 'seven' " because the museum charges extra

for children over that age ... things like parents doing the same

thing with kids they take to the movies ( " Yes, I know we're taking you

to the movies for your twelfth birthday, but the movie-house charges

extra for kids 12 and up, so when we're at the ticket-window you're

eleven ... "

I have even known parents who BOASTED of teaching their children

how to cheat on examinations at school! ... and I have known

schoolteachers who BOASTED of teaching their students how to cheat on

examinations that involved more than one school ... then, when some of

the children got caught cheating, the parents and the teachers would

deny any knowledge of/responsibility for this ...

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Exactly! The look on my kids faces when I explain that a friend

they have has been lying to them and me breaks my heart. It's

almost as if my children think it is their fault for choosing the

deceitful friend. I used to speak up all the time to anyone I saw

or heard cheating, even if it was to say " you know that's not right "

or " that is not a good example to set for the kids, please do not do

that in front of my kids " but found that no matter what, people will

find an excuse that they believe makes it OK. All I do know is that

I fall asleep each night with no guilt. I never have to think about

what I can say in front of someone because of a lie, I can always be

open and honest. I've learned not to say all that I know but I

think that has more to do with my age and becoming sage(I wish).

Kim

>

> I have seen adults (teachers and parents) teach kids to lie. My own

> parents, and some of my teachers, taught and required children to

lie.

> Here I don't mean the " social lies " ....

[Guest guest]

Lying and arrogant. 8 1/2? You've got to be kidding. Good for you for sticking to your guns, you only "ruined" it for the ones who were trying to get away with something. Kate Gladstone <handwritingrepair@...> wrote: Re parents getting their kids into the movies at a cheaper price bylying about ages: sadly, I have seen (and experienced, as a child)cases where one or more kids in a family did not *want* to see even amuch-longed-for movie (or circus, or whatever) if they had to tell oraccept a lie in order to do it. I remember asking to please NOT go tosee a circus that I had waited for weeks and months to see (had infact incessantly begged to see) for my birthday — because, when wefinally got there, Mom and Dad commanded that all of us four childrenlie about our ages, because each of us happened

to have recentlyreached an age just one or two years above some particular "cut-off"point on that circus's age-related admissions-fee schedule. E.g., atage 11 I had to hear my parents describe me and an almost-10-year-oldsister as "8-1/2 years old; they're twins and big for their age"because children 9 and over had to pay more than children aged 8 andunder. I stated my correct age, then said that I did not WANT to go tothe circus after that; couldn't we do something else or just go home?... and of course got punished (not the first time) for the"disrespectfulness" of "making a scene" by ignoring orders to tell oraccept an untruth. Part of the punishment (at least, I see it aspunishing) included having to go to the circus anyway (now that Ihated it; the lie-about-age business absolutely spoiled something I'dotherwise have loved) while hearing my parents shout at me (during andafter the circus — all the way home, and

for many days thereafter)about how my "stupidity" had "spoiled it all for everyone" and "thrownaway our hard-earned money" by making plain to the ticket-seller thatindeed my sister and I did not qualify for the under-10 discount.Once I eventually learned to lie, I had trouble distinguishingrequired lies (the ones my parents commanded) from forbidden lies(everything else), so of course finally learning how to lie just gotme into even more trouble.Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

Sorry I have come in late on this. I was up in Canada with Raven.

I too see the things that you see, and I don't like it. I remember a

time that was much more sweet and innocent, and, of course, my

parents remember a time that was sweeter and more innocent. And so on

back through the generations.

Some people will argue that the only reason there appears to be more

of this bad stuff going on is because the media tends to dwell on it.

I disagree with this opinion.

Kids and adults these days are more rude than I have ever known them

to be.

Tom

Administrator

I've felt very disillusioned with people lately. Finding more and

more that children are being taught to lie, manipulate, and follow in

their parents footsteps. The stress I've been going through has made

all the little things I abhor seem so much worse. Hate and anger have

been hard to control and so I sleep.

Kim