New member

[Guest guest]

Hi Annie

I'm really touched that there are such caring people in this group.

I don't think I would have replied to such an email myself!

Take care

[Guest guest]

Hi , welcome, I've only been here a couple of days myself. The other day

I was out and my husband ordered mozzarella marinara and even though I wasn't

hungry I felt the food had such power over me, I had to eat it! I was so

disappoointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted item I

could find. I hate that! Judy M

________________________________

From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

weightloss

Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 3:15:05 PM

Subject: RE: New Member

Hi all

I'm .

I always thought I was invisible and know I know even my emails are.

I posted yesterday and see other new people being welcomed and not me (

I am an overeater who's manged to lose 16 lbs since December, but am now finding

it harder. I discovered recently that I don't like feeling full 'cos then I

can't eat any more!! Does anyone else feel like that?

Looking forward to joining you all on your journeys.

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Your friend was concerned because you were trying to find the taste you needed?

Have her take a look at this:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56502

From the article:

Here's another clue. " If you are hungry and don't know what you want, this is

usually heart hunger, " Spangle says. That phrase " I don't know what I want " is

the tip-off. That's when you should ask yourself: " What am I missing? "

________________________________

From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

weightloss

Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 1:47:22 PM

Subject: RE: New Member

I remember once being quite depressed and saying to a good friend that I was

trying to find a food with the taste I needed but I couldn't. I didn't know what

that taste was. I was serious - she told me later she was quite concerned about

me.

[Guest guest]

Your friend was concerned because you were trying to find the taste you needed?

Have her take a look at this:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56502

From the article:

Here's another clue. " If you are hungry and don't know what you want, this is

usually heart hunger, " Spangle says. That phrase " I don't know what I want " is

the tip-off. That's when you should ask yourself: " What am I missing? "

________________________________

From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

weightloss

Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 1:47:22 PM

Subject: RE: New Member

I remember once being quite depressed and saying to a good friend that I was

trying to find a food with the taste I needed but I couldn't. I didn't know what

that taste was. I was serious - she told me later she was quite concerned about

me.

[Guest guest]

Thanks .

You're quite right. I think it is 'heart hunger' and I'm trying hard to satisfy

that in other ways.

Thanks so much for validating my thoughts!

> Your friend was concerned because you were trying to find the taste you

needed?

>

> Have her take a look at this:

> http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56502

>

> From the article:

> Here's another clue. " If you are hungry and don't know what you want, this is

> usually heart hunger, " Spangle says. That phrase " I don't know what I want "

is

> the tip-off. That's when you should ask yourself: " What am I missing? "

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

> weightloss

> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 1:47:22 PM

> Subject: RE: New Member

>

>

>

> I remember once being quite depressed and saying to a good friend that I was

> trying to find a food with the taste I needed but I couldn't. I didn't know

what

> that taste was. I was serious - she told me later she was quite concerned

about

> me.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Your friend was concerned because you were trying to find the taste you

needed?

>

> Have her take a look at this:

> http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56502

>

> From the article:

> Here's another clue. " If you are hungry and don't know what you want, this is

> usually heart hunger, " Spangle says. That phrase " I don't know what I want "

is

> the tip-off. That's when you should ask yourself: " What am I missing? "

>

I've had that " I want something, but don't know what " before... :-(

Eldred

[Guest guest]

>

> Your friend was concerned because you were trying to find the taste you

needed?

>

> Have her take a look at this:

> http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56502

>

> From the article:

> Here's another clue. " If you are hungry and don't know what you want, this is

> usually heart hunger, " Spangle says. That phrase " I don't know what I want "

is

> the tip-off. That's when you should ask yourself: " What am I missing? "

>

I've had that " I want something, but don't know what " before... :-(

Eldred

[Guest guest]

Today I just can't seem to post....... I go to respond and I reread my email and

think " Oh that sounds so stupid ..... You don't know anything Constance you

still weight 200 pounds " ( I just realized from the last email I need to change

my intent as well )

 

But back to sugar encrusted things....... I hate going shopping or even going

out to do anything with my husband because he is constantly talking

about buying candy and chips and even after a delightful dinner. Lets go get

ice cream or cheese burgers. Lets get more drinks or two apps or the humongous

bucket of popcorn. I am so frustrated. I do awesome all day ( even beaten the

...... " My assistant is gone break out all the crap you would never eat in

front of skinny little her') and come 7pm I am either sabotaging myself or he

is doing it for me.  

Sorry I am so unpositive today

Also sorry for not welcoming all the people.

I really need a chat buddy anyone interested ?

Constance ( who maintains 200 pound very well even during crises and her period

I guess that is something)  

 

From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

Subject: RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Constance,

((HUGS)) Sorry you are not feeling positive today. You are not alone in the

caving that occurs with hubbies. Mine does the same thing. He must have chips

and candy in the house at all times. He has much better control than I do. He

can sit and eat ten chips or a half of a candy bar, but I feel a compulsion to

eat every bit of the junk in the house at once. I often think, " let me go ahead

and eat this so we can get rid of it. " Hello?? It's not like it won't be

replaced.

It is up to us not to fall into their sabotaging traps. They don't do it on

purpose (well, mine doesn't...he just has a horrible habit). Anyway, what if

you talk to him about it. Ask him to respect what you are trying to do by

reserving those " fun filled " events for once a week or once a month. Because we

also know that this is part of our relaxing and enjoying together. A nice

dinner out, a bowl of ice cream, and wonderful times with a wonderful friend,

right?

Also,we can only change ourselves. We can't change them. We have to love

ourselves enough to say enough. I bring you all of this after having had a

stellar week of trying to adjust my diet and exercise habit, only to blow it

when hubby took us out to eat for two days AND I drank nothing but Dew...no

water. My point is this. We must be stronger than this. We can change the

nature of our relationships without changing our relationships.

You are beautiful and are doing a great job! Hug yourself and be nice to you

today. As a " friend " , I see you as a thoughtful, happy, grounded woman. You

can beat the hubby connection:) The weekend is coming...smile!

T

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Constance,

((HUGS)) Sorry you are not feeling positive today. You are not alone in the

caving that occurs with hubbies. Mine does the same thing. He must have chips

and candy in the house at all times. He has much better control than I do. He

can sit and eat ten chips or a half of a candy bar, but I feel a compulsion to

eat every bit of the junk in the house at once. I often think, " let me go ahead

and eat this so we can get rid of it. " Hello?? It's not like it won't be

replaced.

It is up to us not to fall into their sabotaging traps. They don't do it on

purpose (well, mine doesn't...he just has a horrible habit). Anyway, what if

you talk to him about it. Ask him to respect what you are trying to do by

reserving those " fun filled " events for once a week or once a month. Because we

also know that this is part of our relaxing and enjoying together. A nice

dinner out, a bowl of ice cream, and wonderful times with a wonderful friend,

right?

Also,we can only change ourselves. We can't change them. We have to love

ourselves enough to say enough. I bring you all of this after having had a

stellar week of trying to adjust my diet and exercise habit, only to blow it

when hubby took us out to eat for two days AND I drank nothing but Dew...no

water. My point is this. We must be stronger than this. We can change the

nature of our relationships without changing our relationships.

You are beautiful and are doing a great job! Hug yourself and be nice to you

today. As a " friend " , I see you as a thoughtful, happy, grounded woman. You

can beat the hubby connection:) The weekend is coming...smile!

T

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Thanks Tania

My husband has no self control at all and he thinks cause he works out for two

hours everyday it does not matter.  That is why he weighs 335 pound ( I am

totaly jelious of how much ME time he has! ) When I don't eat when we go to the

movies or a restraunt he actually makes fun of me or acts like I am being a

bitch. ( He even smirks when I ask for a box right when my meal comes and I put

half of it way right away). It is complicated I guess. Positive ....... I ate

five of each of the chips and four pieces of the candy. Then I did an hour of

house work but that might have been a bit much because I woke up feeling a bit

achy at the joints.

Thanks for all your positive comments .......... I have to tell ( Kinda a Fake

it thing) that I am wonderful because I really don't feel it or see it.  But

that seems to be working a bit.

Hugs Conatnce

 

 

From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

Subject: RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

I am sorry that he responds to you this way:( Zuzana and Freddy (BodyRock.tv)

did an entry on how negative people often want to sabotage us because it makes

them feel superior or because they don't want us to succeed since they can't.

Perhaps your hubby sees he is not making progress and thus doesn't want you to,

either. I am sorry for your conflict:(

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

I am sorry that he responds to you this way:( Zuzana and Freddy (BodyRock.tv)

did an entry on how negative people often want to sabotage us because it makes

them feel superior or because they don't want us to succeed since they can't.

Perhaps your hubby sees he is not making progress and thus doesn't want you to,

either. I am sorry for your conflict:(

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

I am sorry that he responds to you this way:( Zuzana and Freddy (BodyRock.tv)

did an entry on how negative people often want to sabotage us because it makes

them feel superior or because they don't want us to succeed since they can't.

Perhaps your hubby sees he is not making progress and thus doesn't want you to,

either. I am sorry for your conflict:(

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

RE: New Member

weightloss

Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

 

Hi Judy

>I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar encrusted

item I

> could find. I hate that!

Poor you!

Thanks for the welcome

[Guest guest]

Maybe he sees you making all of these positive habits and he feels that he

*should* be doing the same thing. Instead of doing anything towards that he may

just be sitting around " shoulding all over himself, " and seeing you start

getting fit and healthy is just a reminder to him of what he " should " be doing.

So sabotaging you or making fun of you is his way of protecting that part of

himself that he is yelling at inside his own head.

Just a thought. . ..I don't think there is anything you can do about it, but

that may be where he is coming from probably without even realizing that is what

is going on.

Whether that is the case or not, I find that making up a story that helps me

feel compassion for someone in my life who makes me want to pull my hair out

helps me to deal with them in a kind way (It is more for my benefit than for the

other person's. It helps me to be less moved by the trouble that they seem to

cause. It also lets me view them as the one with the problem instead of beating

myself up because of some reason that it must be my fault. I have enough issues

about myself without adding other people's to the pile.)

Annie

________________________________

From: Constance <kcblj5@...>

weightloss

Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 5:55:25 AM

Subject: Re: New Member

Thanks Tania

My husband has no self control at all and he thinks cause he works out for two

hours everyday it does not matter. That is why he weighs 335 pound ( I am

totaly jelious of how much ME time he has! ) When I don't eat when we go to the

movies or a restraunt he actually makes fun of me or acts like I am being a

bitch. ( He even smirks when I ask for a box right when my meal comes and I put

half of it way right away). It is complicated I guess. Positive ....... I ate

five of each of the chips and four pieces of the candy. Then I did an hour of

house work but that might have been a bit much because I woke up feeling a bit

achy at the joints.

Thanks for all your positive comments .......... I have to tell ( Kinda a Fake

it thing) that I am wonderful because I really don't feel it or see it. But

that seems to be working a bit.

Hugs Conatnce

[Guest guest]

Maybe he sees you making all of these positive habits and he feels that he

*should* be doing the same thing. Instead of doing anything towards that he may

just be sitting around " shoulding all over himself, " and seeing you start

getting fit and healthy is just a reminder to him of what he " should " be doing.

So sabotaging you or making fun of you is his way of protecting that part of

himself that he is yelling at inside his own head.

Just a thought. . ..I don't think there is anything you can do about it, but

that may be where he is coming from probably without even realizing that is what

is going on.

Whether that is the case or not, I find that making up a story that helps me

feel compassion for someone in my life who makes me want to pull my hair out

helps me to deal with them in a kind way (It is more for my benefit than for the

other person's. It helps me to be less moved by the trouble that they seem to

cause. It also lets me view them as the one with the problem instead of beating

myself up because of some reason that it must be my fault. I have enough issues

about myself without adding other people's to the pile.)

Annie

________________________________

From: Constance <kcblj5@...>

weightloss

Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 5:55:25 AM

Subject: Re: New Member

Thanks Tania

My husband has no self control at all and he thinks cause he works out for two

hours everyday it does not matter. That is why he weighs 335 pound ( I am

totaly jelious of how much ME time he has! ) When I don't eat when we go to the

movies or a restraunt he actually makes fun of me or acts like I am being a

bitch. ( He even smirks when I ask for a box right when my meal comes and I put

half of it way right away). It is complicated I guess. Positive ....... I ate

five of each of the chips and four pieces of the candy. Then I did an hour of

house work but that might have been a bit much because I woke up feeling a bit

achy at the joints.

Thanks for all your positive comments .......... I have to tell ( Kinda a Fake

it thing) that I am wonderful because I really don't feel it or see it. But

that seems to be working a bit.

Hugs Conatnce

[Guest guest]

I like the idea of giving it back to him. When he laughs at you for asking for

a box when your meal comes, tell him that he will be wishing that he made that

change with you when you are seeing results and he is not. I really like that.

Fake the confidence in front of him until you feel it.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Re: New Member

Thanks Tania

My husband has no self control at all and he thinks cause he works out for two

hours everyday it does not matter. That is why he weighs 335 pound ( I am

totaly jelious of how much ME time he has! ) When I don't eat when we go to the

movies or a restraunt he actually makes fun of me or acts like I am being a

bitch. ( He even smirks when I ask for a box right when my meal comes and I put

half of it way right away). It is complicated I guess. Positive ....... I ate

five of each of the chips and four pieces of the candy. Then I did an hour of

house work but that might have been a bit much because I woke up feeling a bit

achy at the joints.

Thanks for all your positive comments .......... I have to tell ( Kinda a Fake

it thing) that I am wonderful because I really don't feel it or see it. But

that seems to be working a bit.

Hugs Conatnce

[Guest guest]

Hi Constance,

I totally understand where you are coming from. I go thru the same stuff with my

other half. He can't Seem to understand why it is so hard for me to lose weight,

yet so easy to gain more!

I'm looking for some one too. Wanna be buddies? Let me know. My email is:

katgirl4268@...

Hope to hear from you soon.

Kat. :-)

On Mar 4, 2011, at 3:13 AM, Constance <kcblj5@...> wrote:

> Today I just can't seem to post....... I go to respond and I reread my email

and think " Oh that sounds so stupid ..... You don't know anything Constance you

still weight 200 pounds " ( I just realized from the last email I need to change

my intent as well )

>

> But back to sugar encrusted things....... I hate going shopping or even going

out to do anything with my husband because he is constantly talking about buying

candy and chips and even after a delightful dinner. Lets go get ice cream or

cheese burgers. Lets get more drinks or two apps or the humongous bucket of

popcorn. I am so frustrated. I do awesome all day ( even beaten the ..... " My

assistant is gone break out all the crap you would never eat in front of skinny

little her') and come 7pm I am either sabotaging myself or he is doing it for

me.

> Sorry I am so unpositive today

> Also sorry for not welcoming all the people.

> I really need a chat buddy anyone interested ?

> Constance ( who maintains 200 pound very well even during crises and her

period I guess that is something)

>

>

>

>

> From: S R Glickman <srg100@...>

> Subject: RE: New Member

> weightloss

> Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 5:14 PM

>

>

>

> Hi Judy

>

> >I was so disappointed in myself that I came home and ate every sugar

encrusted item I

> > could find. I hate that!

>

> Poor you!

>

> Thanks for the welcome

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What a great attitude. One of my mentors told me to " teach by example. "

Kat. :-)

On Mar 4, 2011, at 6:42 AM, Annie <mom2scs@...> wrote:

> Maybe he sees you making all of these positive habits and he feels that he

> *should* be doing the same thing. Instead of doing anything towards that he

may

> just be sitting around " shoulding all over himself, " and seeing you start

> getting fit and healthy is just a reminder to him of what he " should " be

doing.

> So sabotaging you or making fun of you is his way of protecting that part of

> himself that he is yelling at inside his own head.

>

> Just a thought. . ..I don't think there is anything you can do about it, but

> that may be where he is coming from probably without even realizing that is

what

> is going on.

>

> Whether that is the case or not, I find that making up a story that helps me

> feel compassion for someone in my life who makes me want to pull my hair out

> helps me to deal with them in a kind way (It is more for my benefit than for

the

> other person's. It helps me to be less moved by the trouble that they seem to

> cause. It also lets me view them as the one with the problem instead of

beating

> myself up because of some reason that it must be my fault. I have enough

issues

> about myself without adding other people's to the pile.)

>

> Annie

>

> ________________________________

> From: Constance <kcblj5@...>

> weightloss

> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 5:55:25 AM

> Subject: Re: New Member

>

> Thanks Tania

> My husband has no self control at all and he thinks cause he works out for two

> hours everyday it does not matter. That is why he weighs 335 pound ( I am

> totaly jelious of how much ME time he has! ) When I don't eat when we go to

the

> movies or a restraunt he actually makes fun of me or acts like I am being a

> bitch. ( He even smirks when I ask for a box right when my meal comes and I

put

> half of it way right away). It is complicated I guess. Positive ....... I ate

> five of each of the chips and four pieces of the candy. Then I did an hour of

> house work but that might have been a bit much because I woke up feeling a bit

> achy at the joints.

>

> Thanks for all your positive comments .......... I have to tell ( Kinda a Fake

> it thing) that I am wonderful because I really don't feel it or see it. But

> that seems to be working a bit.

> Hugs Conatnce

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think Annie has a point about him seeing what he " should " be doing. And

worrying that you'll judge him or try to change him.

But another common response in the partner of someone undergoing a major life

change is fear. Fear that if you change enough, you won't need him anymore. I

can only imagine this fear is stronger when there's actually marriage counseling

involved.... And people aren't always at their best when responding from fear.

Maybe a reminder that it's about you, not him, would help?

For my husband, it was difficult when I suddenly started freaking out about

eating out. We talked it over and came up with some compromises about how often

and where. IOWL has been great as far as that goes, since I feel much more

confident around food these days.

Hang in there!

Sent from my iPod

On Mar 4, 2011, at 4:42 PM, Annie <mom2scs@...> wrote:

> Maybe he sees you making all of these positive habits and he feels that he

> *should* be doing the same thing. Instead of doing anything towards that he

may

> just be sitting around " shoulding all over himself, " and seeing you start

> getting fit and healthy is just a reminder to him of what he " should " be

doing.

> So sabotaging you or making fun of you is his way of protecting that part of

> himself that he is yelling at inside his own head.

>

> Just a thought. . ..I don't think there is anything you can do about it, but

> that may be where he is coming from probably without even realizing that is

what

> is going on

[Guest guest]

I can definitely relate about eating how with your husbands. I never want to

anymore and I think my husband is a little frustrated by that. He understands

my desire to lose weight, but let's face it, going out to dinner is a source of

entertainment for a lot of couples, so when one of the partners doesn't want to

it really puts a damper on things. I really don't want to go out and do

anything or see anybody. I guess he knows it won't last forever and is very

patient, thank God!

M

Re: New Member

I think Annie has a point about him seeing what he " should " be doing. And

worrying that you'll judge him or try to change him.

But another common response in the partner of someone undergoing a major life

change is fear. Fear that if you change enough, you won't need him anymore. I

can only imagine this fear is stronger when there's actually marriage counseling

involved.... And people aren't always at their best when responding from fear.

Maybe a reminder that it's about you, not him, would help?

For my husband, it was difficult when I suddenly started freaking out about

eating out. We talked it over and came up with some compromises about how often

and where. IOWL has been great as far as that goes, since I feel much more

confident around food these days.

Hang in there!

Sent from my iPod

On Mar 4, 2011, at 4:42 PM, Annie <mom2scs@...> wrote:

> Maybe he sees you making all of these positive habits and he feels that he

> *should* be doing the same thing. Instead of doing anything towards that he

may

> just be sitting around " shoulding all over himself, " and seeing you start

> getting fit and healthy is just a reminder to him of what he " should " be

doing.

> So sabotaging you or making fun of you is his way of protecting that part of

> himself that he is yelling at inside his own head.

>

> Just a thought. . ..I don't think there is anything you can do about it, but

> that may be where he is coming from probably without even realizing that is

what

> is going on

[Guest guest]

Glad to have you here. I am grandma to a 5 year old with autism that I am raising. I know I have learned many things here and have learned that I am not alone in this. It can be a great relief to know that there are others who are dealing with some of the same issues I am and sharing information helps. LeaFrom: "TBrown@..." <TBrown@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 1:13:06 PMSubject: New member

Hi

I am Tony mum to two girls one aged almost eleven who has autism and ADHD, she is now at special school after a very long fight and has an Autism Assitance dog who helps her. My other daughter who is four and a half has traits of both conditions although is not diagnosed.

look forward to getting to know you

tony

[Guest guest]

Hi Lea

Pleased to meet you, is your grandchild a boy or a girl?

Tony

New member

Hi

I am Tony mum to two girls one aged almost eleven who has autism and ADHD, she is now at special school after a very long fight and has an Autism Assitance dog who helps her. My other daughter who is four and a half has traits of both conditions although is not diagnosed.

look forward to getting to know you

tony