Re: Really needing some help

September 1, 2006

In a message dated 9/1/2006 9:43:57 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

dragonfly97girl@... writes:

And as for professional help, where would we start? His pediatrician, go

straight to a

therapist/psychologist? Who? .................................... I'm just

so worried and scared to think that my baby is going to have to endure the

same hell as my husband has for so many years.

Dragonfly -

You are on the right track. It may not seem like it, but it's a blessing

that you have some experience with this & someone in the immediate family who

can truly understand what your son is going through. This will help immensely.

As for where to go.... you want to look for a psychologist who does CBT and

ERP. There are different places you can check for referrals... one excellent

website you need to check out is _www.ocfoundation.org_

(http://www.ocfoundation.org) (the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation) they have

a list of

therapists who specifically deal with OCD. See if there are any in your area.

I will

send you a couple other websites directly that also might be helpful in

finding someone.

Starting with your pediatrician isn't a bad idea. Try every possible

resource you can find. Try your insurance company - they may have lists of

doctors. If you live near a medical school, call there & ask if they have a

mental

health department. There may be a group there that works with OCD or knows

of a therapist who does.

It took me 4 months to find a therapist who dealt with OCD in teens after my

dd was diagnosed. She didn't do ERP, so we kept searching. Finally we

found someone at the beginning of August who actually did both CBT & ERP.

GOOD LUCK. Stay on the message board & keep us updated on your progress.

LT

September 1, 2006

This sounds almost like my son who is 7. His thoughts are often about someone

else being his parents, that is the main theme, that and kissing girls. He also

has had thoughts about stabbing us, those were the hardest to deal with. He is

such a gentle child. He would never hurt anyone or anything. We've spent the

last 24 hours grieving over a baby lizard he accidentally killed while trying to

catch it. He feels so awful. The violent thoughts are the worst for him,

because he is so gentle.

I also felt the same as you, crying for days. I probably also have ocd like your

husband, I worry so much about health issues, all of those things you listed. I

never thought of them as ocd, until recently. I would talk to someone

professionally, it has helped us so much. She is great. We were going weekly,

but now we are going every other. Things are so much better than they were in

March, when all of this started. So much better. Good days and bad, but better.

But, don't try and handle it on your own, it is too much and the sooner you get

help the better. If you want to talk or something, pm me at lauraj2@....

I remember so clearly being where you are, confused, afraid and so very sad. It

will get better, but let someone at least get you started. Also, my son loves

Lego Knights and is our only child too. Lots in common.

Take care, things will get better. There are so many great books, take a look on

Amazon for some of them. Mr. Worry is a good one for kids.

J

Really needing some help

Where do I begin? First of all, I've read a few of the posts here

and I feel so relieved to know there are others who are going through

the same thing. This is going to be long. Please forgive me, but I

really need to talk to someone who understands. My husband has battled

OCD most of his life. We are in our 30s now so you can figure when he

was struggling as a child no one knew what the heck was going on with

him, especially his family. When we were in college he had the intrusive

thoughts, the confessing, the hand washing, the fear of germs, etc. But

then it seemed to " go away " for about 11 years. But then four

years ago " it " showed up again in the form of fear of getting

sick - cancer, aneurysms, heart trouble, you name it. We have PRAYED

that our only child, who is eight now, would not be afflicted with this

horrible disease. We've read so much about it being genetic. About

two weeks ago the intrusive thoughts began for our son. His first one

was that he was afraid he would want to start smoking one day. I

didn't think much about that one. I just told him he wouldn't

and kind of shrugged it off. But then we were sitting in church about

two weeks ago and he said he thought he wanted someone else to be his

mom. It's just continued from there. He's had some good days

with no bad thoughts. But yesterday was the worst one yet. He and I were

sitting in the floor building Lego Knights and he told me he had a

thought that he wanted to stab me. My husband has talked to him and told

him what he has is called OCD and that he knows how he is feeling.

He's told him the thoughts are not his fault or even his own

thoughts and Mommy knows he would never stab her. Our son was so upset.

He told me last night the thoughts make him wish he were dead. I spent

most of the night crying. I'm at work now and I can't function.

My eyes are swollen and I want to go home. I can't tell anyone

what's going on. We are suffering in silence right now because we

don't know what to do. I don't know if it's to a point that

we should seek professional help. The statement he made last night has

me scared. He's only eight years old and he says he wants to die

because of the way he is feeling. And as for professional help, where

would we start? His pediatrician, go straight to a

therapist/psychologist? Who? Ironically, my husband was a psych major in

college and he fully supports GOOD therapy. But what if we take him to

someone who makes matters worse? Do we try to deal with this on our own

for now? My husband certainly has enough " experience " from his

own ordeal and can honestly tell our son he knows exactly how he is

feeling. I'm just so worried and scared to think that my baby is

going to have to endure the same hell as my husband has for so many

years.

September 1, 2006

I am so sorry for you and all you are going through. Don't go through this

in silence, there is lots of help out there. Yes, you need to find a

therapist who specializes in this. Yes, you need to tell your pediatrician

because he can for one prescribe a medicine that will help and second he has

a list of child psychologist he can refer to you. We found our psychologist

through our pediatrician. It has been wonderful for us that our psych and

pediatrician are communicating together along the way. You can also look on

the OCD Foundation site and try to find a referral.

The way I handled finding a doctor is calling them on the phone and

explaining my situation and ask lots of questions if they could help. Ask if

they do Cognitivie Thereapy and Exposure Therapy. Ask if they know how to

handle child OCD. For me after talking with 4 doctors only two fit within my

needs and only one I really liked. Then after you talk on the phone you and

your husband go alone and meet with this doctor and ask what you can do at

home to help, tell him the whole story. If you like the personality and feel

comfortable talking with him/her you got your person. If not, move on to

meet with another doctor until you find one you feel comfortable. I did not

want to expose my child to a doctor until I knew in my heart I was

comfortable with him/her. Also, many of these doctors you can have insurance

pay even though they are not on the insurance list. My doctor I pay a $40.00

co-pay and he sends the paperwork into the insurance to get his money. I

have another doctor who I have to pay the whole bill and send in papers and

get re-imbursed by insurance. My experience has been that the ones on the

insurance list were not the preferred doctors by reputation, so don't just

go by that unless you have to. Ask lots of questions. Lastly, make sure this

doctor will move you forward and not just get stuck in the past.

My husband and I went to marriage counseling for a year one time with a

doctor that just listened and didn't do a thing to help. Major waste of

time. For me I want someone that is pretty aggressive to move forward and

give me things to try when I leave the office.

You are in a great place in that your husband is honest about his struggles

and willing to be a part of this. Many times my doctor and I are feeling my

reluctant husband is really holding the whole process back. Praise your

husband for being there with and for you and your child.

This list is a great place to ask any questions. I hope and pray you get the

help you need soon!!

Good luck!

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of dragonfly97girl

Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 9:42 AM

Subject: Really needing some help