sorrysomany!

July 28, 2006

I'm sorry if I've posted this too many times. I'm trying to post a

new message and it's getting attached to older groups of messages.

Thanks for being patient:

Hi Everyone, My name is , 29 yrs old. My 10-yr-old daughter

was diagnosed with OCD this June. I wanted to say thank you for this

group, of giving and sharing so much. I, like alot of you, feel like

I have limited places to turn to for support. I can identify with

alot of symptoms I read about; I have mild OCD myself. I knew I did

as a teenager, from reading about it. I put it out of my mind then,

because I did not want to be labeled. In the worst of times, I vowed

to live for the future, on the small hope that it would be better.

I've had a tumultuous time growing up and was known to my immediate

family to be a hellcat. I rather think of it as a warrior. Even now,

I am slightly resistant to our therapists homework she gives me to

help me deal with my own OCD behavior. My behavior doesn't impede my

functioning much, but does cause me distress and anxiety. I value

being independent and self-reliant. I am both proud of myself and

baffled. I became untrusting of others mostly because I felt I could

not turn to my parents AT ALL. They made alot of mistakes and caused

alot of damage. I watched one of my brothers slowly break down and

was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was REALLY bad off and

I was so angry and frustrated with my parents. I could not believe

that they would deny reality or ignore or not understand what was

happening or even try. I have since developed understanding and

forgiveness for them and myself. They still go 'round and 'round

today and I can see so clearly that if my mom would develop

understanding, her reactions would be so much better. I suppose its

easier to play a victim instead of becoming empowered with knowledge

and skill. My oldest brother is probably what did them in or wore

out their coping capacity in the first place. He was severe ADHD

(this was about 25 yrs ago). Both of these brothers have spent time

institutionalized. My youngest brother has Major Depression and it

is hard to watch him go from a stellar student and bright thinker to

practially incapacitated at times. My mom just reminded me that

about 10 people on my dad's side of the family have commited

suicide. Nature v/s nurture (genetics v/s environment)-- I sure

thought about that alot!! When my daughter was diagnosed I started

reading like a maniac-- it was then that I realized how much I was

doing that I knew was odd or distress-causing over the years and I

didn't understand why. As I became an adult, some of the compulsions

changed from the classic stuff most people associate with OCD. Its

so clear now, I could just cry. It makes me sad, for myself and for

her. Education is enlightening, facing the pain and healing. This

whole thing is creating healing opportunites for both of us. I

rather look at it that way than a terrible disaster that has the

capacity for crippling us for some senseless needless reason. I have

been a nurse in the ER for 4-5 years. I have compassion for the

mentally distressed and ones in crisis (or percieved crisis). I was

pretty good at turning situations around that some other staff would

have made worse, or gotten mad about (thereby upsetting themselves--

which is just as unproductive). There are so many people who are

negatively judgemental or unconcerned. I've been blasted by both

sides of my family for my daughter's behavior but I know in my heart

that I have done the best possible job I could ever do. I believe

she would be much worse if I was not understanding and open with

her. What I didn't utilize to capacity was that I could use the same

communication skills and verbal martial arts with her that I use in

the world. LET ME TELL YOU-- it works so well!! To contain negative

energy, mirror it back, use humor-- all in a non-sarcastic or non-

negative way is fantastic. Super-parenting is what it is. Not only

do I do " normal " parenting skills like setting limits, helping her

develop positive emotions, having boundaries, but I've had to

develop further near-buddha techniques to avert the negative

assaults. Our kids are people too and are subject to the same

universal laws that we all operate under. I smiled when she said

last night " Mom, you're using psychology on me again, why can't you

be normal. " But she is laughing, and THAT IS THE POINT. What

normally would have been a total melt-down and crisis had an

entirely different outcome. I feel like I'm tap dancing in a fire

sometimes. Some of the stuff she says is flooring, some of it

hilarious and some of it makes me question why I'm on this earth. At

least we have one thing in common-- OCD, an instant connection and

source of support, hopefully more and more as she grows. Thank you

for listening and thank you again for sharing and giving of

yourselves.

July 28, 2006

andrea - sorry for all your family has been through but boy oh boy is

your daughter in the right place! keep up the good work - both of

you!!!!

Eileen

Quoting anjmar333 <amarinonii@...>:

> I'm sorry if I've posted this too many times. I'm trying to post a

> new message and it's getting attached to older groups of messages.

> Thanks for being patient:

> Hi Everyone, My name is , 29 yrs old. My 10-yr-old daughter

> was diagnosed with OCD this June. I wanted to say thank you for this

> group, of giving and sharing so much. I, like alot of you, feel like

> I have limited places to turn to for support. I can identify with

> alot of symptoms I read about; I have mild OCD myself. I knew I did

> as a teenager, from reading about it. I put it out of my mind then,

> because I did not want to be labeled. In the worst of times, I vowed

> to live for the future, on the small hope that it would be better.

> I've had a tumultuous time growing up and was known to my immediate

> family to be a hellcat. I rather think of it as a warrior. Even now,

> I am slightly resistant to our therapists homework she gives me to

> help me deal with my own OCD behavior. My behavior doesn't impede my

> functioning much, but does cause me distress and anxiety. I value

> being independent and self-reliant. I am both proud of myself and

> baffled. I became untrusting of others mostly because I felt I could

> not turn to my parents AT ALL. They made alot of mistakes and caused

> alot of damage. I watched one of my brothers slowly break down and

> was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was REALLY bad off and

> I was so angry and frustrated with my parents. I could not believe

> that they would deny reality or ignore or not understand what was

> happening or even try. I have since developed understanding and

> forgiveness for them and myself. They still go 'round and 'round

> today and I can see so clearly that if my mom would develop

> understanding, her reactions would be so much better. I suppose its

> easier to play a victim instead of becoming empowered with knowledge

> and skill. My oldest brother is probably what did them in or wore

> out their coping capacity in the first place. He was severe ADHD

> (this was about 25 yrs ago). Both of these brothers have spent time

> institutionalized. My youngest brother has Major Depression and it

> is hard to watch him go from a stellar student and bright thinker to

> practially incapacitated at times. My mom just reminded me that

> about 10 people on my dad's side of the family have commited

> suicide. Nature v/s nurture (genetics v/s environment)-- I sure

> thought about that alot!! When my daughter was diagnosed I started

> reading like a maniac-- it was then that I realized how much I was

> doing that I knew was odd or distress-causing over the years and I

> didn't understand why. As I became an adult, some of the compulsions

> changed from the classic stuff most people associate with OCD. Its

> so clear now, I could just cry. It makes me sad, for myself and for

> her. Education is enlightening, facing the pain and healing. This

> whole thing is creating healing opportunites for both of us. I

> rather look at it that way than a terrible disaster that has the

> capacity for crippling us for some senseless needless reason. I have

> been a nurse in the ER for 4-5 years. I have compassion for the

> mentally distressed and ones in crisis (or percieved crisis). I was

> pretty good at turning situations around that some other staff would

> have made worse, or gotten mad about (thereby upsetting themselves--

> which is just as unproductive). There are so many people who are

> negatively judgemental or unconcerned. I've been blasted by both

> sides of my family for my daughter's behavior but I know in my heart

> that I have done the best possible job I could ever do. I believe

> she would be much worse if I was not understanding and open with

> her. What I didn't utilize to capacity was that I could use the same

> communication skills and verbal martial arts with her that I use in

> the world. LET ME TELL YOU-- it works so well!! To contain negative

> energy, mirror it back, use humor-- all in a non-sarcastic or non-

> negative way is fantastic. Super-parenting is what it is. Not only

> do I do " normal " parenting skills like setting limits, helping her

> develop positive emotions, having boundaries, but I've had to

> develop further near-buddha techniques to avert the negative

> assaults. Our kids are people too and are subject to the same

> universal laws that we all operate under. I smiled when she said

> last night " Mom, you're using psychology on me again, why can't you

> be normal. " But she is laughing, and THAT IS THE POINT. What

> normally would have been a total melt-down and crisis had an

> entirely different outcome. I feel like I'm tap dancing in a fire

> sometimes. Some of the stuff she says is flooring, some of it

> hilarious and some of it makes me question why I'm on this earth. At

> least we have one thing in common-- OCD, an instant connection and

> source of support, hopefully more and more as she grows. Thank you

> for listening and thank you again for sharing and giving of

> yourselves.

>

July 28, 2006

Hi ,

I'm single mom, 3 sons - oldest 21 and then twins age 17 (not

identical). , a twin, has diagnoses of OCD, dysgraphia and

Aspergers Syndrome (very mild!).

's OCD began around age 11.5, right after he began 6th grade.

He had those OCD " tendencies " before that, but no real " disorder, " so

to speak. Then in 6th grade it was like he began having 24/7

compulsions/rituals non-stop! His involved a lot of touching, some

repetitive things, some mental compulsions too I think (from watching

his face). Anyway, middle school was rough, especially that first

year of OCD, but things have been much better these past 2-3 years.

However, this year he began having bad thoughts and dealing with

religious/scrupulosity type OCD. SIGH!

Is your daughter's OCD more the " thought " type or rituals or...?

Sounds like you two have good support for each other! This group was

such a welcome place to come during that first year and all the years

since! It's nice to have somewhere to go where others really

understand OCD!

>

> I'm sorry if I've posted this too many times. I'm trying to post a

> new message and it's getting attached to older groups of messages.

> Thanks for being patient:

> Hi Everyone, My name is , 29 yrs old. My 10-yr-old daughter

> was diagnosed with OCD this June. I wanted to say thank you for

this

> group, of giving and sharing so much. I, like alot of you, feel

like

July 29, 2006

Thanks , for sharing the experiences and challanges of your family and

yourself. My 12 year old daughter has OCD and is prone to angry outbursts when

things aren't " just so " . Your comments about being blasted by your family

really rings true. And it's also difficult to be around other adult

friends/families when she has an issue - it's so unpredictable, yet we can't

stop living for fear of an outburst at the wrong time. I've decided to stop

explaining to people about her OCD, since so many think it's just a matter of

discipline. I can't change their minds. Unfortunately, it has really shrunken

our social circle and that bothers me a lot. I feel so isolated and this is

when I need other people the most. My husband and I spend so much time

discussing and stratagizing how to deal with her, that we can't provide the

relief we need to each other. How do other parents maintain sanity and social

connections despite the " handicap " of their childs problems?

" autumn71A@... " <autumn71A@...> wrote: