Introducing myself

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone, My name is , 29 yrs old. My 10-yr-old daughter

was diagnosed with OCD this June. I wanted to say thank you for this

group, of giving and sharing so much. I, like alot of you, feel like

I have limited places to turn to for support. I can identify with

alot of symptoms I read about; I have mild OCD myself. I knew I did

as a teenager, from reading about it. I put it out of my mind then,

because I did not want to be labeled. In the worst of times, I vowed

to live for the future, on the small hope that it would be better.

I've had a tumultuous time growing up and was known to my immediate

family to be a hellcat. I rather think of it as a warrior. Even now,

I am slightly resistant to our therapists homework she gives me to

help me deal with my own OCD behavior. My behavior doesn't impede my

functioning much, but does cause me distress and anxiety. I value

being independent and self-reliant. I am both proud of myself and

baffled. I became untrusting of others mostly because I felt I could

not turn to my parents AT ALL. They made alot of mistakes and caused

alot of damage. I watched one of my brothers slowly break down and

was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was REALLY bad off and

I was so angry and frustrated with my parents. I could not believe

that they would deny reality or ignore or not understand what was

happening or even try. I have since developed understanding and

forgiveness for them and myself. They still go 'round and 'round

today and I can see so clearly that if my mom would develop

understanding, her reactions would be so much better. I suppose its

easier to play a victim instead of becoming empowered with knowledge

and skill. My oldest brother is probably what did them in or wore

out their coping capacity in the first place. He was severe ADHD

(this was about 25 yrs ago). Both of these brothers have spent time

institutionalized. My youngest brother has Major Depression and it

is hard to watch him go from a stellar student and bright thinker to

practially incapacitated at times. My mom just reminded me that

about 10 people on my dad's side of the family have commited

suicide. Nature v/s nurture (genetics v/s environment)-- I sure

thought about that alot!! When my daughter was diagnosed I started

reading like a maniac-- it was then that I realized how much I was

doing that I knew was odd or distress-causing over the years and I

didn't understand why. As I became an adult, some of the compulsions

changed from the classic stuff most people associate with OCD. Its

so clear now, I could just cry. It makes me sad, for myself and for

her. Education is enlightening, facing the pain and healing. This

whole thing is creating healing opportunites for both of us. I

rather look at it that way than a terrible disaster that has the

capacity for crippling us for some senseless needless reason. I have

been a nurse in the ER for 4-5 years. I have compassion for the

mentally distressed and ones in crisis (or percieved crisis). I was

pretty good at turning situations around that some other staff would

have made worse, or gotten mad about (thereby upsetting themselves--

which is just as unproductive). There are so many people who are

negatively judgemental or unconcerned. I've been blasted by both

sides of my family for my daughter's behavior but I know in my heart

that I have done the best possible job I could ever do. I believe

she would be much worse if I was not understanding and open with

her. What I didn't utilize to capacity was that I could use the same

communication skills and verbal martial arts with her that I use in

the world. LET ME TELL YOU-- it works so well!! To contain negative

energy, mirror it back, use humor-- all in a non-sarcastic or non-

negative way is fantastic. Super-parenting is what it is. Not only

do I do " normal " parenting skills like setting limits, helping her

develop positive emotions, having boundaries, but I've had to

develop further near-buddha techniques to avert the negative

assaults. Our kids are people too and are subject to the same

universal laws that we all operate under. I smiled when she said

last night " Mom, you're using psychology on me again, why can't you

be normal. " But she is laughing, and THAT IS THE POINT. What

normally would have been a total melt-down and crisis had an

entirely different outcome. I feel like I'm tap dancing in a fire

sometimes. Some of the stuff she says is flooring, some of it

hilarious and some of it makes me question why I'm on this earth. At

least we have one thing in common-- OCD, an instant connection and

source of support, hopefully more and more as she grows. Thank you

for listening and thank you again for sharing and giving of

yourselves.