Re: HELP! Anger/depression/Augmentin

[Guest guest]

Oh, please help me!!

is absolutely out of control. She's soooo hateful and angry! It's

spitting venom and dirty looks and all of that alternating with crying and

whining

and shouting. She's been on Augmentin for a ruptured eardrum since Sunday and

the discharge seems to be clearing and waning, so I think she's improving.

Problem is, with a PID you don't know what to " blame " , you know? I mean, is

it due to stomach pain from the Augmentin? Some reaction to the med?

Frustration over being sick? Is it the years of isolation, illness and medical

procedures and she's just scarred for life? Is it a behavior disorder due to

brain

damage from the meningitis she had? Does she not get enough attention because

I'm

getting ready for our garage sale? (all baby items, almost nothing of hers and

what there is, she chose to sell) I mean, nothing is simple when you have so

many options for blame!! She's always been somewhat difficult at home, but

alternating with times of great behavior. She's very polite and all of that

*usually* but then she goes through periods of sassiness and withdrawal. And I

hate

to say it but it gets worse when she's been around her sassy cousin (age 6,

acts like 16), who bosses her around and gives her attitude.

Or is that just normal five-year-old behavior? But I've been chalking it up

to " just the age " at every age. And when a two year old is having tantrums you

can somewhat let it go. But a five year old doing this looks like depression

and a real problem, you know? You start to picture them being this way for the

rest of their lives and it being really serious.

SIGH. And I'm trying to hold myself together but she's just out of her mind

in this mood. I've tried to distract her, get her out of the house, suggest

things to do, etc. That worked sometimes when she was younger but at this age

she

just sasses at any suggestion.

I just found a picture on the fridge that Kate had painted with Grandma and

wrote on it in angry black crayon, " Go To W F F " which she says means " Go

to work " and refused to tell me what it meant. I don't know if she wants me

to (sarcastically) go to work on the house and ignore her some more (cleaning

and such), go get a job and put her in daycare because it would be more fun, or

if it's aimed at Daddy. She won't answer me and I'm asking gently and telling

her I need to know what she's feeling in order to help her.

That's another new thing this year, she runs off and avoids rather than

facing conflict. I don't think that's very healthy but that's her new thing. You

can't pull her out of her shell no matter what, and she refuses to listen if you

try to explain why something is the way it is (We didn't go to Wal-Mart and

get a treat because she's talking back and doing the wrong thing. She talks

back and shouts while you try to explain she's in trouble for shouting and

talking back, etc.). Man, it's so frustrating. I think I'm pretty good at

dealing

with kid stuff in most ways -- I know the right and wrong things to say usually,

but I admit my patience has its limits. I wish I had a child psychologist

living with me to guide me!!!

I don't think she's sicker, she doesn't seem to have a fever or anything. But

she wants to go sleep " until it's morning " , an idea she came up with about an

hour ago because she was saying the day was so horrible she wanted to start

it over. I thought that sounded like a good idea and was playing along,

thinking maybe she'd sleep a little bit and when she " got up " I'd have a whole

new

outlook and plans for lots of stuff to do to occupy her time and mind. (we

could probably both use the break from each other) But after a few minutes she

came out of her room complaining and when I asked kindly about the plan to start

a new morning she shouted, " I don't want to DO THAT!! " in tears, and that was

the end of that idea.

So I gave her something to eat and that's when I discovered the painting of

Kate's she ruined (chose Kate's one picture on the fridge to draw on instead of

any of her own ten) and we started that whole issue.

Now she's back trying to sleep " until morning " again.

Lord give me strength -- DH has been asked to change bank branches and he's

all stressed about that, so I don't think he'll be signing up to let me have a

break when he's stressed too. I don't think his stress has affected ,

because he still plays with the girls the same when he gets home but who knows.

Nope, she's up again. Sigh. Says she changed her mind.

(mom to Kate, born 9/19/02, dairy intolerant; and , age 5, GERD,

dairy intolerant -- currently has polysaccharide antibody def, previously had

transient IgG, IgA, t-cell & other defs)

[Guest guest]

Hi kelly, a lot has been going on, for a long period of time. It is absolutely

normal to feel frustrated, pisssed off even. I have a recently diagnosed 18

month old with PID and I am a psychologist. You seem to express yourself pretty

well , and every point of reference could be true. Age appropiate vs depression

is a hard thing to distinguish. From mom to mom, I would see and chart how long

this has lasted, new or old behavior , chart it with illness, to see if there is

a correlation, and if not... why not give yourself a break and have a

professional ( therapist) see if there is more to it.... you have time, Im sure

not energy, but hang in there kathleen....

Re: HELP! Anger/depression/Augmentin

Oh, please help me!!

is absolutely out of control. She's soooo hateful and angry! It's

spitting venom and dirty looks and all of that alternating with crying and

whining

and shouting. She's been on Augmentin for a ruptured eardrum since Sunday and

the discharge seems to be clearing and waning, so I think she's improving.

Problem is, with a PID you don't know what to " blame " , you know? I mean, is

it due to stomach pain from the Augmentin? Some reaction to the med?

Frustration over being sick? Is it the years of isolation, illness and medical

procedures and she's just scarred for life? Is it a behavior disorder due to

brain

damage from the meningitis she had? Does she not get enough attention because

I'm

getting ready for our garage sale? (all baby items, almost nothing of hers and

what there is, she chose to sell) I mean, nothing is simple when you have so

many options for blame!! She's always been somewhat difficult at home, but

alternating with times of great behavior. She's very polite and all of that

*usually* but then she goes through periods of sassiness and withdrawal. And I

hate

to say it but it gets worse when she's been around her sassy cousin (age 6,

acts like 16), who bosses her around and gives her attitude.

Or is that just normal five-year-old behavior? But I've been chalking it up

to " just the age " at every age. And when a two year old is having tantrums you

can somewhat let it go. But a five year old doing this looks like depression

and a real problem, you know? You start to picture them being this way for the

rest of their lives and it being really serious.

SIGH. And I'm trying to hold myself together but she's just out of her mind

in this mood. I've tried to distract her, get her out of the house, suggest

things to do, etc. That worked sometimes when she was younger but at this age

she

just sasses at any suggestion.

I just found a picture on the fridge that Kate had painted with Grandma and

wrote on it in angry black crayon, " Go To W F F " which she says means

" Go

to work " and refused to tell me what it meant. I don't know if she wants me

to (sarcastically) go to work on the house and ignore her some more (cleaning

and such), go get a job and put her in daycare because it would be more fun,

or

if it's aimed at Daddy. She won't answer me and I'm asking gently and telling

her I need to know what she's feeling in order to help her.

That's another new thing this year, she runs off and avoids rather than

facing conflict. I don't think that's very healthy but that's her new thing.

You

can't pull her out of her shell no matter what, and she refuses to listen if

you

try to explain why something is the way it is (We didn't go to Wal-Mart and

get a treat because she's talking back and doing the wrong thing. She talks

back and shouts while you try to explain she's in trouble for shouting and

talking back, etc.). Man, it's so frustrating. I think I'm pretty good at

dealing

with kid stuff in most ways -- I know the right and wrong things to say

usually,

but I admit my patience has its limits. I wish I had a child psychologist

living with me to guide me!!!

I don't think she's sicker, she doesn't seem to have a fever or anything. But

she wants to go sleep " until it's morning " , an idea she came up with about an

hour ago because she was saying the day was so horrible she wanted to start

it over. I thought that sounded like a good idea and was playing along,

thinking maybe she'd sleep a little bit and when she " got up " I'd have a whole

new

outlook and plans for lots of stuff to do to occupy her time and mind. (we

could probably both use the break from each other) But after a few minutes she

came out of her room complaining and when I asked kindly about the plan to

start

a new morning she shouted, " I don't want to DO THAT!! " in tears, and that was

the end of that idea.

So I gave her something to eat and that's when I discovered the painting of

Kate's she ruined (chose Kate's one picture on the fridge to draw on instead

of

any of her own ten) and we started that whole issue.

Now she's back trying to sleep " until morning " again.

Lord give me strength -- DH has been asked to change bank branches and he's

all stressed about that, so I don't think he'll be signing up to let me have a

break when he's stressed too. I don't think his stress has affected ,

because he still plays with the girls the same when he gets home but who

knows.

Nope, she's up again. Sigh. Says she changed her mind.

(mom to Kate, born 9/19/02, dairy intolerant; and , age 5, GERD,

dairy intolerant -- currently has polysaccharide antibody def, previously had

transient IgG, IgA, t-cell & other defs)

[Guest guest]

{{{}}}

I don't know the answer to your questions. In fact, you may only be able to

find the answers through trial and error. But I wanted to share a bit with

you about our family.

Rebekah was very young when she was diagnosed (29 months), but old enough to

have some idea of what was going on, for sure. Her older brother and

sister, though, we very aware of what was happening. We also went a very

long time without a diagnosis and it took almost 14 months to get the right

dosage/treatment regime going. Both dh and I were tremendously stressed

during this time and probably weren't coping all that well.

Our oldest because very sharp and angry and started wetting the bed. Our

next oldest developed gastric reflux and was bitterly angry all the time.

She also had very low self-esteem. Rebekah, was just plain depressed and

talked about wanting to die by the time she was 3.5 years old. When our

second child developed reflux, she stopped eating entirely. Our ped

encouraged us to try anti-depressants or therapy because he suspected that

she was reacting to the stress at home. I wasn't interested in doing that.

However, a year later, after a very snotty meeting with a pediatric gastro,

I agreed to try anti-depressants. Our second child didn't seem depressed to

me; she seemed angry and was in a lot of pain from reflux. Well, to our

total surprise, one morning, about 3 weeks after starting anti-depressants

and without us ever telling her what the med for use, our dd walked out of

her bedroom one morning and announced over breakfast that she used to be

sad, but now she felt like she would never be sad again.

We called that day and asked for meds for Rebekah and our oldest. He also

encouraged us to pursue therapy with our children, but there was no way that

we could afford that!!

I know that there is a lot of controversy for prozac for kids, but I will

tell you that the results have been very dramatic for our family. And I'm

not saying that is depressed!! I just wanted you to have an

alternative picture of the role of depression in young kids. Our ped said

that depression in young children is more often manifested in anger than in

sadness.

Today, all three kids are wonderfully different. Yes, the stress is our

home is much less than before, but the oldest is cheerful again, the second

child rarely has reflux and has much more self-confidence. Rebekah is so

upbeat that you can almost see her blossoming as you watch her.

Mom...well, I still feel guilty about letting my kids get depressed, about

ignoring our ped's advice and treating the kids earlier, about allowing

stress to infest our house like termites, etc.

{{{KELLY}}}

Pam

mom to 4

Rebekah, 4, CVID and ??

[Guest guest]

{{{}}}

I don't know the answer to your questions. In fact, you may only be able to

find the answers through trial and error. But I wanted to share a bit with

you about our family.

Rebekah was very young when she was diagnosed (29 months), but old enough to

have some idea of what was going on, for sure. Her older brother and

sister, though, we very aware of what was happening. We also went a very

long time without a diagnosis and it took almost 14 months to get the right

dosage/treatment regime going. Both dh and I were tremendously stressed

during this time and probably weren't coping all that well.

Our oldest because very sharp and angry and started wetting the bed. Our

next oldest developed gastric reflux and was bitterly angry all the time.

She also had very low self-esteem. Rebekah, was just plain depressed and

talked about wanting to die by the time she was 3.5 years old. When our

second child developed reflux, she stopped eating entirely. Our ped

encouraged us to try anti-depressants or therapy because he suspected that

she was reacting to the stress at home. I wasn't interested in doing that.

However, a year later, after a very snotty meeting with a pediatric gastro,

I agreed to try anti-depressants. Our second child didn't seem depressed to

me; she seemed angry and was in a lot of pain from reflux. Well, to our

total surprise, one morning, about 3 weeks after starting anti-depressants

and without us ever telling her what the med for use, our dd walked out of

her bedroom one morning and announced over breakfast that she used to be

sad, but now she felt like she would never be sad again.

We called that day and asked for meds for Rebekah and our oldest. He also

encouraged us to pursue therapy with our children, but there was no way that

we could afford that!!

I know that there is a lot of controversy for prozac for kids, but I will

tell you that the results have been very dramatic for our family. And I'm

not saying that is depressed!! I just wanted you to have an

alternative picture of the role of depression in young kids. Our ped said

that depression in young children is more often manifested in anger than in

sadness.

Today, all three kids are wonderfully different. Yes, the stress is our

home is much less than before, but the oldest is cheerful again, the second

child rarely has reflux and has much more self-confidence. Rebekah is so

upbeat that you can almost see her blossoming as you watch her.

Mom...well, I still feel guilty about letting my kids get depressed, about

ignoring our ped's advice and treating the kids earlier, about allowing

stress to infest our house like termites, etc.

{{{KELLY}}}

Pam

mom to 4

Rebekah, 4, CVID and ??