Have a little confession

[Guest guest]

*Smile* nothing big. But I am the Queen of Denial. When it came time for my 6th bloodwork on for my SVR. I didn't do it. I just didn't want to know if the virus had came back. I talked to my husband, although he said it was my decision he hoped that I would change my mind. When I got sick in Mississippi and had to go to the ER they did blood work and told me that my liver enzymes were high. They didn't give me the numbers and I didn't ask, again denial. But the ER doctor said to check with my regular doctor about my Hep C. I am like whatever. Well when to the doctor this week, my primary care doctor and we had a discussion about my Hep C. I told her what I had done, that I didn't go back for the blood work and so forth. She said "Well Janet, I understand. But how can I effectively treat you if I don't know all the information?" Agreed with her on that. And told

her to do the test. We are going to discuss the results on the 26th(have to have some minor, and I mean minor surgery) she is going to refer me to a doctor closer to me, than my doctor in Tulsa. Because it is a 4 hour drive, and gosh with the price of gas, no matter how much I love my doctor in Tulsa. I have to take that in consideration. My doctor here is a great doctor, and I love her too. I trust that she will be a partner in my care, and if I have to take the interferon shots (that is what they do if you respond to therapy but do not stay virus free) you take them once a week, but no riba to take. I have fought this disease for so long, went through the treatment twice, and put a lot on hold because of this disease. Well, now I have other problems, the diabetes, and dang if I am going to let this virus do bad stuff to my liver. I am working hard to get my pancreas

working right. And I go and do a stupid thing like ignore my liver. Can you believe that? I just didn't want to put my family through treating again. But dang, what would they do without me. Hubbie and I talked about this last night. I had noticed that he has been less than sympathic lately and he told me, well when you decided to not get tested again, I decided that you didn't care about me, my feelings, the kids feelings and was being rather selfish. Makes a lot of sense. He had noticed my fatique, he had noticed my brain fog, and he said to me that he thought I was trying to well in his way commit sucide in a slow and deliberate manner. Ya know I can understand his feelings. Well that is my confession. And it feels good to get it off of my chest. See your nobel leader (cough,cough) had feet of clay too

sometimes. Love ya all, JanetTake the ordinary things of life, and make them your own. Do the impossible with a smile