Jackie-OT

[Guest guest]

Jackie,

Can relate to your problem with your dad. My dad fell and broke his upper portion of his femur, when he was 85.

Now my mother was 80 years old at the time. She couldn't handle getting him out of bed and taking care of him. And his insurance would not pay for a 24/7 at home nurse. That would have meant that one of us children would have had to move in with my parents full time. We were all married and had families. And that wouldn't work at all.

Our choice was a extended care facility. Here is what I told my dad. You get to where you can get out of bed on your own, and mom doesn't have to lift you then you can come home. He was not a happy camper. But it sure made him work. He only stayed in the extended care facility for 3 months. He worked so hard to get back to where he could care for himself. (He was blind also, so that was a feat in itself. ) He ticked the death out of me. I set down the rules and he followed them to a tee.

Now I know that it is different with your father, but sometimes you have to set down the rules. Because of your own health or the health of others. Like my mother there was no way on Gods Green Earth that she was going to be able to lift and help my father. She is only 5'2' and pretty frail in her own right. And he got hurt in the first place because he was not aware of his surroundings. They had a split level house, he stepped off a 2 ft. step and fell.

What I am saying here, is don't let his hurt feelings get in the way of him recieving the correct kind of care.

Sometimes keeping them at home is a injustice to them. We just can't be on 24/7 with our parents. Their needs sometimes outweighs our own. You understand what I am saying. If I was in the same situation myself, I would want my family to put me in a care home rather than put their health at risk, or mine for that matter. A lot of time, Medicare and Medicaid will pay for the care homes where they will not pay for a nurse at home. I am sure that you have researched the care home he is in. And it is probably one of the best. I know that when I put my father in the extended care home, I did my research. I was all up in there making sure my father had the best care. I visited almost every day. I did take his laundry home to wash, as that was a little something I could do that gave him a touch of home.

Hope this helps Jackie, and I am always here for you.

Love

Janet>> Well its like pulling teeth with my father, HE wants to come home so bad but He MUST have supervision 24 hours a day,, I cant do it all that time, so we are looking for help to come in for mornings.. HE is angry,, and it hurts me a lot,, Rog is fine,, but tired and sick of my parents, lol,, > love you,,> me