New member and introduction...

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, thanks for taking me into the group…

My name is and my oldest daughter, Ivy, is 8 and is having an awful

time with

obsessions right now. This latest bout has been going on for about a week, but

she's had

obsession/compulsion problems in the past. We're awaiting referral to a

pediatric

psychiatrist, so no diagnosis yet, but I know she has OCD-type symptoms. My

sister has

OCD and it's all sooo familiar.

She obsesses about fire right now, or more specifically, smoke. This one started

after a

visit from the fire department to her school with all the usual dire warnings

and horrific

examples (I'm sure they mean well, but….. ugh!). She sees smoke or she smells

smoke

constantly. She can't be in a room in our house now without a parent (usually

pretty

independent). Getting very little sleep. Full-blown panic attacks. Many of her

ruminations

are rather bizarre and she is constantly thinking or asking about about

smoke-related

issues. She gets up hours before everyone else and goes and sits outside (fewer

smoke

fears out there). Tries to get her mind off the thoughts by doing things like

reading, but

screams in frustration right away because it's not working. She's also added

carbon

monoxide and natural gas to the list of things she's worried about. This is just

all-

consuming. I don't think she is actually so worried about a real house fire or

gas leak etc,

it's just the constant bad thoughts and imaginings that are so horrible.

Last year, she had a 2 month period where she was morbidly afraid of

accidentally eating

poisonous " death cap " mushrooms (started from reading a book at school). That

was the

same constant irrational (she knows it's irrational, but the thoughts can't be

stopped)

obsessing. Then it was bees in pop cans stinging her throat and killing her (she

overheard

an anecdote my mom told at a barbeque). We don't even drink canned soft drinks!

She'd

ask me daily to guarantee she won't die as a child. Around that time, she

started being

concerned with symmetry and evening-up stuff. If you accidentally bumped one

arm, you

had to do the same to the other arm. Can't wear t-shirts with unsymmetrical

designs on

them. Couldn't walk down store aisles that were of different heights on either

side, or if

she had to, she'd walk down sideways. That sort of thing. It took forever to

even get into a

car, as she had to tap each toe a certain number of times on a particular edge

of the car

door… sigh. Then the OCD-ish stuff just went away. We were all so relieved, as

it was just

exhausting and upsetting to her (and us) and I was hoping to he** that she

didn't have

OCD like my sister. She's allways been my creative, sensetive child (the younger

one is a

wonderful girl, but a hard-headed centre-of-the-universe mule…. Haha) and is

maybe a

little peculiar, but not completely maladjusted. She's not generally very

meticulous

(actually, she's a slob), unlike my totally anal OCDer sister;-)

Luckily, she's been able to tell me how she's feeling and she understands that

the

constant bad thoughts aren't her fault, that her brain is playing tricks on her

and that we

can get some help for her. She wants relief now, though.

My sister has been really supportive and helpful. She went through her youth

hiding her

symptoms and really suffered for it. My husband, though a lovely person and dad,

isn't

exactly great when it comes to being understanding about issues of the mind. But

now,

even he agrees that Ivy is needing some help.

Mostly, I just feel bad for Ivy- she's just so upset. It's breaking my heart.

Does anyone

have any advice on how to get through the days (and especially the nights!)

while we're

waiting to see someone?

I appreciate sooooo much being able to unload here.

Thanks again, (Vancouver, BC)

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I just read your post. This is the first time I have written a letter on this

site, although I joined a few months ago and read the posts regularly.

My daughter, Rosie (10) has OCD... my sister and I both have it. It's

important to understand that although a sufferer may (and should) be

symptom-free, OCD does not go away... it is always there. So even if Ivy had a

bad patch last year which completely disappeared, it doesn't mean that the OCD

is gone; it's just sort of in remission.

You have to get the book " Brain Lock " . I just looked around for it and can't

find it to tell you the author, but that's the title. It outlines a 4-step

program which you and your husband can do yourselves. It is very good, and has

helped Rosie enormously. My husband and I are anti-meds for children, although

we absolutely understand that in some cases medication is the only answer, at

least initially.

Rosie has not been to a psychiatrist/psychologist. It sounds terrible to say

it, but we simply don't have the time. (To all critics reading this post - do

NOT send me any replies freaking out about this statement.) Sometimes I feel

like a terrible parent when I read how dedicated some of these parents are...

especially things like people taking their kids to seminars! I am a medical

student and my husband is military, and most of the time I am so tired I fall

asleep before my head hits the pillow. We hardly have time to do the wash, let

alone anything else.

We do a good deal of reading about OCD, and have spoken openly about it to

Rosie, outlining the importance of resisting compulsive behaviors... example -

she KNOWS that she has shut the closet door but can't sit still for worrying

about checking on it, so she must resist the urge to check it. We set time

limits (the book talks about this) - if you really feel like you must check it,

wait 15 minutes.

Also, I had to smile -bitterly, of course- about the school fire department

visit. Last week was Holocaust Memorial Day and the teacher (without consulting

the parents) decided to show the children a film about concentration camps,

complete with gory pictures and ugly details. We're Jewish, but we believe in

discussing the Holocaust in an age-appropriate way... and Rosie, with her

issues, should never have been allowed to see this film.

ANYWAY... my husband and I both feel that following the four steps outlined in

the book has helped Rosie tremendously. The panic attacks have disappeared over

the last two months or so. The ruminations of a person with OCD seem bizarre to

a normal individual... but to a person with OCD they make perfect sense. You

should resist answering obsessive questions... you could say: " I've just

answered that question " or " We've just talked about that, let's talk about

something else " . I would also suggest avoiding films, books, or pictures that

might get an obsession started.

Nights were so awful three months ago I felt like I was getting no sleep at

all. As far as getting up super early (Rosie did that too), we let Rosie sleep

in our bed sometimes, and on nights she didn't, told her that if she woke up

early she should come into our bed and lie with us. Rosie has the symmetry thing

too... counting syllables, saying the " right " number of syllables or words,

tapping the right number of times. She knows that she has to resist this, and

that she should force herself to write an odd number of words and just leave

it... at least for the 15 minutes. If 15 minutes is too long for Ivy, she should

try 10.

Also, we sat with Rosie and made a list of all her compulsive behaviors

associated with bedtime... there were about 10 headings on her list. We told her

that we were going to systematically remove these one by one... she could choose

which would go first. Of course she picked easy ones, like putting a sock under

her pillow (!), but it didn't matter, because the ones that were harder to give

up got easier as time passed. Over a six-week period, she got rid of them all.

She shares a room with her 12-year old sister, so there is some degree of

monitoring going on.

Although we have not spoken to the school, we have told family members about

Rosie's condition, including her three older siblings. The family are the best

therapists for someone with OCD. OCD is a terrible disease for the sufferer

because it is so often invalidated by others, perhaps because people feel so

much discomfort about psychological illnesses... my own family members (parents,

siblings) have told me that Rosie is actually fine - it's all just a bid for

attention. For awhile Rosie was secretive about her behaviors (like your sister;

typically OCD sufferers feel shame about the things they do and want to hide

them from others).

It is a very hard thing to control the direction of your thoughts, and

sometimes the exercises don't work at first. With time and practice, they get

easier. When I think of the difference between now and three months ago, it's

like day and night for Rosie. One of the most helpful concepts was that her " bad

thoughts " are the result of a medical condition - a person should not feel

guilty for having obsessive thoughts than she should feel guilty for having a

broken leg or pneumonia. Please buy the book and read it... your child is

hurting, and it will be very hard to wait until your appointment without doing

anything.

Another thing you could do would be to get a yoga or meditation video and do

it with Ivy... Rosie's older siblings did yoga with her and if it didn't help,

it certainly didn't hurt - and took her mind off obsessive thoughts at least

while she was doing it!

I know that Ivy must feel awful. There isn't anywhere to go to escape

intrusive thoughts. It is so terrible to see your child suffer. The fact that

you know what she has and have a plan to combat it is a huge step. You have my

heartfelt best wishes for you and your daughter.

Amy

---------------------------------

Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using

Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

i haven't read all the replies, i hope i'm

not repeating.

anyway, i am a mom with intrusive thoughts that

cause panic attacks, you may know this but deep

breathing REALLY helps, i don't know how well children

do this, but try, if you haven't already.

and re: therapy, reading books and knowing what it

is, was the best thing for me and message boards,

hearing " me too " has been the most beneficial.

again, i don't know how therapists " treat " children,

but from what i read, it seems like all the

strategies are in books.

the strategies you need when a " thought " hits.

kris

-- In , jtlt@... wrote:

>

>

> In a message dated 5/4/2006 7:22:01 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> amysoussan@... writes:

>

> Rosie has not been to a psychiatrist/psychologist. It sounds

terrible to say

> it, but we simply don't have the time. (To all critics reading

this post -

> do NOT send me any replies freaking out about this statement.)

>

>

> Amy

>

> First let me say that I can't imagine you would ever have a

problem on this

> board with people 'bashing' you for your choices -- at least, I've

never seen

> it. Folks will make suggestions or offer advice that may differ

from yours,

> or offer their own opinions based on their personal experiences,

but I've

> never seen anyone 'freaking out' over what someone else does or

says.

>

> I was very interested in the progress you've made with the

book, " Brain

> Lock. " I've heard folks mention it before on the board & that it

was a great

> resource, but I don't recall anyone ever going into detail about a

4-step plan

> or how it worked - of course, that could just be my 46 year old

memory!!!

>

> I love to hear success stories, especially when families have been

able to

> accomplish so much without meds. It gives me more hope that one

day my

> daughter can stop taking her Prozac with success. Naturally we

would all rather be

> able to deal with this without medicating our kids, but sometimes

it's

> necessary. We were so shell-shocked by what was first happening &

how fast our

> daughter went downhill, that we jumped on the chance to give her

meds after

> seeing her death-spiral out of control so quickly during the first

couple weeks

> of therapy (which turned out to be the wrong type of therapy....

chalk

> another one up to lessons learned!).... and we were dead-set

against meds when we

> first started to explore treatment.

>

> At any rate, thanks for posting - it is all good information to

share!

> LT

>

>

>