Re: New on the scene

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/10/2006 3:24:44 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

lecartertn@... writes:

That confuses me because what I

have read about OCD says it's a neurological thing that may be aggravated by

stress, but not

caused by stress.

Yes, Stress will certainly aggravate OCD and it is also what can bring it

out initially - stress or trauma of some sort. Although, I've never heard of

anyone just " growing out of it " , I can't say it's impossible because I don't

know about every type of OCD --- it's all I can do to keep up with ours LOL!!!

Wouldn't that be wonderful for your daughter if it's true though.

LT

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the info.

As for the onset of OCD, she has always had a few quirks, always needed more

than

normal amount of sleep, talks alot, I mean ALOT!, and picks at her nails

constently, but

not fears of food. She was never very big on cleaning up for meals and the 5

second rule

was one she was always willing to strech. She never liked finger painting,

didn't like how it

felt on her hands. Then one day she asked if the plastic table cloth was made of

would

poison her. The next week she mentioned something about poison and then, BAM, it

was

all the time every day. She constently worries about things poisoning her. (Her

hair getting

in her mouth, her markers, clay, the seat cushion.)

She is extremely sensitive. Any correcting/discipline makes her feel she is bad

and then

she starts into a downward spiral of self-loathing that makes her hit and pinch

herself and

says she doesn't deserve to eat.

Anyone else dealing with that? How do you handle it? What do you do when they

need to

stop doing something? What do you say?

The other think I find is everyone says, she fine when she's here. (School,

grandparents,

ect.) But she is just hiding it. She doesn't trust them enough to tell them what

she is

scared of. She is so exhausted after a day of school. When she gets home she

askes about

all the things that worried her all day, but she wouldn't ast others. It 's

like she feels safe

enough there to unload and I am glad she does, but they all think I am making it

up. At

least the pros see it and are treating it.

> >

> > Hi, I am a soon to be single mom of a 6 yo recently diagnosed as

> OCD. She fears that if she

> > touches her food with her bare hands she will be poisoned be

> general things around her she

> > has touched. She also flicks/pinches/hits herself if she thinks she

> has done something wrong

> > or is reprimanded in any slight way at all.

> > Where do you go as a parent of an OCD child to get info on how to

> help with your parenting

> > techniques and not increase stress, but retain appropriate

> boundaries? I don't want to over

> > indulge her, but I don't want to stress her either.

> > Meds were the first recommendation at the Dr office. We have since

> stared therapy and at the

> > therapist's recommendation we are holding off on meds until she has

> a little more time to

> > evaluate what is going on.

> > What references did you find most helpful to learn what to do and

> what your child is trying to

> > deal with.

> >

> > Finally, I was told that she has " stress ocd " and that it might go

> away completely when the

> > stress of my divorce, moving and changing schools is over. That

> confuses me because what I

> > have read about OCD says it's a neurological thing that may be

> aggravated by stress, but not

> > caused by stress.

> >

> > Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Anyone else dealing with that? How do you

handle it? What do you do when they need to stop doing something?

What do you say?

Hi again, some quick thoughts here. First, talk to her about what

OCD is. Then pick one of her worries or compulsions, etc., to work

on. You might want to try limiting the number of times each day or

each meal, etc., she can ask questions about poison, etc. So - she

can ask some but there's a limit. Of course she might go over the

limit, but this gives something to work towards. You can remind

along the way that she's already asked, she's asked 3 times so only

*?* more times allowed, you can ask her " what do you think? "

(surprisingly sometimes they answer their own question).... I know

with at a young age, I would sometimes just say " I've

already answered that. " Also many times humor helps. What would

happen if you said something like " yes, I put poison in the shampoo

this morning! " or " I just sprayed the seat cushion with poison! "

etc. Though she might not yet be ready for any humor, but it can

help a lot of times to try to joke about things.

Just pick 1 or 2 things that to you seem to be the least distressing

to her and might be easiest to try to work on first; or have her

pick. Take baby steps to start, hold out from asking/doing

something for even just " seconds " to begin with, work towards

holding out longer before following through on

compulsion/ritual/asking question.... Rewards for trying, rewards

for success can help sometimes. At the end of the school day when

she wants to tell you all her worries that day, maybe she could just

tell you her 7 worst/biggest worries, leave some out; a goal to work

towards.

used to sometimes start to hit himself in the head when he

was " stuck " and couldn't get " through " some OC ritual/need/thought.

And I did notice him begin to pinch himself. I used to just reach

over and grab his arm and tell him that I will " not allow that! "

He'd just have to find some other way, hit the pillow or something.

So many kids will now show OCD anywhere but home. And then when

only family is around. Examples - at school many teachers didn't

see any sign of OCD. But , 's twin brother, was in many

of 's classes. He saw OCD lots during the day with .

Teachers just didn't know what they were looking at/for. Also -

having someone else in the house, a friend over. Amazing how

could walk through doorways, stand up/sit down, manage to do

lots of things with someone over that he could NOT do when they

weren't there! I would see the hesitations and the effort he was

making. And many times I felt things were worse when they left,

like it all just " came back full force " from holding back, etc.

Same as when getting home from school, it can just all come out!

Well, I'm rambling some, hope something made sense! Keep us updated

on how you and she are doing!

> As for the onset of OCD, she has always had a few quirks, always

needed more than normal amount of sleep, talks alot, I mean ALOT!,

and picks at her nails constently, but not fears of food. She was

never very big on cleaning up for meals and the 5 second rule

> was one she was always willing to strech. She never liked finger

painting, didn't like how it felt on her hands. Then one day she

asked if the plastic table cloth was made of would

> poison her. The next week she mentioned something about poison and

then, BAM, it was

> all the time every day. She constently worries about things

poisoning her. (Her hair getting

> in her mouth, her markers, clay, the seat cushion.)

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi, I am a soon to be single mom of a 6 yo recently diagnosed as

OCD. She fears that if she touches her food with her bare hands she

will be poisoned be general things around her she ... therapist's

recommendation we are holding off on meds until she has a little more

time to > evaluate what is going on.

Hi,

Here's my reaction and thoughts regarding OCD & the therapist

Stress can cause any weakness in a persons brain or personality or

spirit to become more prominent. Stress can cause us to get the cold

that we might not have gotten if we weren't stressed (work stress or

getting stressed physically from cold weather) but the cold is still a

physical illness. I think OCD is a physical illness.

I'm uncomfortable with your therapist putting so much focus on

something your husband may or may not have done and putting off

medications. Taking medications will not prevent your daughter from

processing what's stressing her out, it may in fact help her to be

able to focus on what's really bothering her rather than the anxiety

and compulsions of OCD.

Rhetorical question: does this therapist specialize in this area and

have a good amount of experience? Are you comfortable with what's

happening? If not, seeking a second opinion from a more experienced

therapist might be a good idea.

I would suspect that the divorce is a major stressor (or the problems

in the marriage) and that may have revealed your daughters brain

weakness. Not a matter of blaming, just a fact of life. So,(rhetorical

again) what's the theapist looking for?