Re: Hung up on school papers

[Guest guest]

I have a freshman so I can picture this.

If he can tell you " loads from what he's read online " then would it

work to have him dictate it into a tape recorder and have it

transcribed (by you if need be).

What's read online can be saved in 'favorites' and the url's printed

out and formed up into a bibiography (you again, if you want).

Once what he knows is on paper (as typed from the tape) you could

decide what to do with it . . . ask HIM to clean it up . . . YOU clean

it up . . . attach a copy of the transcription so the teacher knows it

is his knowledge, just not his editing?

To demonstrate he knows the steps to take to compose a longterm project

he could instead do an outline type (bulleted) report of the steps and

hand that in seperately. No connection to the project, just a

description of how it's supposed to be done.

Often teachers have alternate type projects that a student can do to

meet the requirements of the assigned project - an artistic student can

instead do an animation - which makes me think of making a video clip

of him presenting the information orally like a documentary or news

report rather than a written paper.

It just seems to me that if he knows how to research, understand and

manipulate what he discovers and put it together into a bundle of

knowledge that there should be acceptable alternative ways to present

that to the teacher.

Does this give you any ideas that may help?

>

> My son is a sophomore in H.S. He's a great student & wants to do well.

> He gets hung up on long-term papers, though. It's as if he's afraid to

> finish. The smallest things can take him hours. If you ask him about

> the topic, he can tell you loads from all he's read online and in

> books, researching. But to produce something to hand in to the

> teacher... he finds it very difficult to get things typed out to hand

> in. We've tried breaking it down into chunks, but when the deadline

> hits, he just can't seem to bring himself to finish. There's always

> something more. And we're up until the wee hours of the morning for

> several days in a row, always thinking he's about to finish, but then

> never quite being there. Has anyone run into this? Any suggestions?

> He's taking medication and seeing a psychologist, but we keep finding

> ourselves in the same cycle of no sleep over and over.

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

I'm also wondering what would happen if you gathered neatly together

what IS finished at 9pm on the night before it's due and just hand it

in as is with an explanation from the teacher.

Perhaps the teacher would accept what is there.

Or, perhaps the teacher would give comments and encouragement AND a 1

week extension to hand in a final copy.

This would offer a little success and may bring the anxiety down a bit.

The final draft could also be on a carefully timed start to finish.

Whatever you do I recommend ending the late night stress

marathons . . . I understand why you did it, it does seem like they are

almost done - I think they tell us what we want to hear and I also

think they do feel like they're almost done . . . but, it's so awful

for everyone those nights. I myself don't allow it anymore - it gets

on my last nerve (as those ocd quirks always seem to do when they run

wile) and it puts his anxiety through the roof.

>

> My son is a sophomore in H.S. He's a great student & wants to do well.

> He gets hung up on long-term papers, though. It's as if he's afraid to

> finish. The smallest things can take him hours. If you ask him about

> the topic, he can tell you loads from all he's read online and in

> books, researching. But to produce something to hand in to the

> teacher... he finds it very difficult to get things typed out to hand

> in. We've tried breaking it down into chunks, but when the deadline

> hits, he just can't seem to bring himself to finish. There's always

> something more. And we're up until the wee hours of the morning for

> several days in a row, always thinking he's about to finish, but then

> never quite being there. Has anyone run into this? Any suggestions?

> He's taking medication and seeing a psychologist, but we keep finding

> ourselves in the same cycle of no sleep over and over.

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

Encourage him to map out and create outlines choosing

only the most important elements (no one wants to read

endless amounts of detail). Brevity is an art,

encourage him

to drop extraneous material.

Another thing would be to break down when different

parts

of the paper must be completed and stick to the

schedule.

A first draft (the " sloppy copy " ) must be done by a

certain

date, the second draft on, and finsihed copy, etc...

You might want to take a look at the book " Educational

Care "

by Mel Levine. I think there's a good chapter on the

writing

process that breaks down the different areas where

problems

can occur. Hopefully I'm remembering the right book!

All

of his books are excellent.

> <CA4Art@a...> wrote:

> >

> > My son is a sophomore in H.S. He's a great student

> & wants to do well.

> > He gets hung up on long-term papers, though. It's

> as if he's afraid to

> > finish. The smallest things can take him hours. If

> you ask him about

> > the topic, he can tell you loads from all he's

> read online and in

> > books, researching. But to produce something to

> hand in to the

> > teacher... he finds it very difficult to get

> things typed out to hand

> > in. We've tried breaking it down into chunks, but

> when the deadline

> > hits, he just can't seem to bring himself to

> finish. There's always

> > something more. And we're up until the wee hours

> of the morning for

> > several days in a row, always thinking he's about

> to finish, but then

> > never quite being there. Has anyone run into this?

> Any suggestions?

> > He's taking medication and seeing a psychologist,

> but we keep finding

> > ourselves in the same cycle of no sleep over and

> over.

> > Thanks,

> >

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________

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[Guest guest]

My daughter had a similar issue. She, though, would get stuck say on the

first paragraph because she would keep rewriting the same sentences because they

weren't " right " in her mind. She truly could not move on. The last time this

happened she ended up going to bed and shutting down for several days where

she wouldn't even get out of bed. I happened to have conferences that same

week. Her teacher knew she has OCD and recurrent depression and so I told her

about the trouble she was having. She has a plan for school, but it doesn't

include anything about extensions. When I told her teacher about the problem

she

told me just e-mail her anytime she is having the issue and she will give

her an extension. She told me she has a disability and so she would be flexible

with her. Prior to this, I was feeling so much stress myself from the

writing because this is her 10th grade year, so it is important. Are your son's

teachers aware of his issues? I would talk to them about it. Also, do you think

his med is still working well for him? We just switched my daughter's and I

am hoping it will help her with this issue, as well as some other issues. Good

luck. Kim

In a message dated 12/2/2005 8:59:13 PM Central Standard Time,

CA4Art@... writes:

And we're up until the wee hours of the morning for

several days in a row, always thinking he's about to finish, but then

never quite being there. Has anyone run into this? Any suggestions?

He's taking medication and seeing a psychologist, but we keep finding

ourselves in the same cycle of no sleep over and over.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all of the responses to my questions. His teachers do know about

the OCD. We've always tried to work closely with them. His English teacher went

through his latest couple of projects with him, breaking it down specifically

into how many sentences and paragraphs he was allowed. Sometimes this helps

but oftentimes there are some portions that should be very quick, but end up

taking hours. He found a loophole - a few places where she hadn't specified. I

suggested to him that looking at what she had allowed for other parts, he can

see that she didn't want a " book " for this part. But he thought this portion

was important, and so he made a big deal of it. When we talked with the teacher

(as he was finally handing it in) we found that sure enough, she only wanted a

brief biography of the author.

I think, like Kim described in her e-mail, he gets stuck on how to do it or

say it perfectly " right. " Either in his writing or just in something like

putting in-text citations in the writing. And we've found that sometimes the

extensions don't really work because he just expands into them and worries over

things. He does try to let go some of the time, but in the end, it means (to

him)

what grade he gets. We've talked about it not making sense to perfect and

perfect the thing just to lose points in the end anyway for being late. In

middle

school there was one project in social studies that I had come to doubt he

would ever hand in. It was at least a month late. The teacher understood his

problem and gave him perhaps too much space. There are times when extensions

help,

but other times it just adds to his stress, I think. We made plans for him to

hand in portions early, but I guess what he did was just check in with his

teacher about where he was in it. What I discovered was that he avoided actually

e-mailing it to her because that way he could keep the whole thing in his

possession to perfect it at the end. He needs to just LET GO of each portion, I

think. And keep in close contact with the teacher. And yet the problem there is

you focus closely and lose track of the big picture.

My concern is that he's a sophomore and will need to manage the OCD himself

soon, as he matures into an adult. I want him to learn those techniques that

will help him. We talk about all kinds of things, and I'm so hopeful, and then I

find that we're in a corner again. Sleep deprived and wondering if he'll ever

finish the project.

As far as the medication goes, he's been on Zoloft, and we've never been sure

what it does. Slowly, the doctor has increased the amount to 100mg. There was

a point last year when he'd had enough and didn't want to go to school. We

went in late and directly to the school psychologist and the school social

worker was brought in, too, concerned about his depression. He has missed a day

of

school here and there because we could not wake him after the marathon nights.

The school has always responded well, bringing in the teacher and finding

that what he'd already written was more than enough.

I guess what I'm looking for is techniques for him to try when he realizes

that he's stuck. Probably we just need to keep going. Trying to be more vigilant

about his progress with each new project - without seeming to; trying to help

him not stress out about it.

I'm blabbing. Thanks for listening.

In a message dated 12/4/05 8:45:20 AM,

writes:

> Are your son's teachers aware of his issues? I would talk to them about it.

> Also, do you think

> his med is still working well for him?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi . I am wondering what your psychiatrist says about the Zoloft? His

dose is low for OCD. My daughter takes 200 mg of Zoloft and is also on

Risperdal now. I am glad your school is responding well. My daughter's has

responded

well this year. We had more trouble with her last year's school. Attendance

is an issue for my daughter, so I am glad your son isn't missing as much this

year, as he did last year. My daughter is also in 10th grade and it is a

struggle. My daughter seems to be dependent on med changes to do better and

doesn't want to use the skills she has been taught, which is a problem. Good

luck.

Kim

In a message dated 12/4/2005 2:27:17 PM Central Standard Time,

CA4Art@... writes:

As far as the medication goes, he's been on Zoloft, and we've never been

sure

what it does. Slowly, the doctor has increased the amount to 100mg. There

was

a point last year when he'd had enough and didn't want to go to school. We

went in late and directly to the school psychologist and the school social

worker was brought in, too, concerned about his depression. He has missed a

day of

school here and there because we could not wake him after the marathon

nights.

The school has always responded well, bringing in the teacher and finding

that what he'd already written was more than enough.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the ideas. Her therapist has suggested she write things down in a

journal and she refuses to do it because she is afraid someone will find it

and know things she is thinking. She doesn't have any siblings, but she still

worries about this. Maybe she would do it if it was just a factual thing.

Thanks again for the idea. Kim

In a message dated 12/4/2005 3:57:28 PM Central Standard Time,

comtesse_de_provence@... writes:

You might want to encourage her to start a journal

where she has to write thoughts, ideas, the days

events, etc.... (maybe a page a day? or just start up

with half a page). The whole idea being is HAS to be

imperfect. Written in pen, misspellings and all,

changes in view, etc.... Basically " stream of

conciousness " writing. This may help her loosen up

with her writing and not focus on perfection.

[Guest guest]

You might want to encourage her to start a journal

where she has to write thoughts, ideas, the days

events, etc.... (maybe a page a day? or just start up

with half a page). The whole idea being is HAS to be

imperfect. Written in pen, misspellings and all,

changes in view, etc.... Basically " stream of

conciousness " writing. This may help her loosen up

with her writing and not focus on perfection.

--- mnmomof1@... wrote:

>

> My daughter had a similar issue. She, though, would

> get stuck say on the

> first paragraph because she would keep rewriting the

> same sentences because they

> weren't " right " in her mind. She truly could not

> move on. The last time this

> happened she ended up going to bed and shutting down

> for several days where

> she wouldn't even get out of bed. I happened to

> have conferences that same

> week. Her teacher knew she has OCD and recurrent

> depression and so I told her

> about the trouble she was having. She has a plan

> for school, but it doesn't

> include anything about extensions. When I told her

> teacher about the problem she

> told me just e-mail her anytime she is having the

> issue and she will give

> her an extension. She told me she has a disability

> and so she would be flexible

> with her. Prior to this, I was feeling so much

> stress myself from the

> writing because this is her 10th grade year, so it

> is important. Are your son's

> teachers aware of his issues? I would talk to them

> about it. Also, do you think

> his med is still working well for him? We just

> switched my daughter's and I

> am hoping it will help her with this issue, as well

> as some other issues. Good

> luck. Kim

__________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Yes, have it be factual information. Explain to her

how nice it is to be able to read back about past

events and what has happened in her life. It's like a

photo album, but with words. One famous diaryist named

Pepys wrote very factual information about

things going on at the time. His focus was on events

at the time. From what I remember he may have

expressed his opinons about things, but he avoided any

of his own personal secrets (either internal or

external).

Let her know she can write anything in it. Even if she

wants to make up stories. Tell her she can write it as

something she will want to eventually share. Like with

her own kids someday. Even if she wants to make up

stories.

The main thing is to just get words on paper. Even if

they are kind of meaningless and repetitious. The more

people write the easier it gets. Eventually the words

will fall on the page. This is almost like ERP!

Good luck to you!

--- mnmomof1@... wrote:

>

> Thanks for the ideas. Her therapist has suggested

> she write things down in a

> journal and she refuses to do it because she is

> afraid someone will find it

> and know things she is thinking. She doesn't have

> any siblings, but she still

> worries about this. Maybe she would do it if it was

> just a factual thing.

> Thanks again for the idea. Kim

>

__________________________________________

DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.