family members strange reactions to autism news?

[Guest guest]

Did others have some strange reactions when they told their extended

family about the possibility of an ASD diagnosis of their child? I

am getting some strange ones. The strangest by far was my step-

mother who essentially said " " well, that makes me rethink his

christmas present, I think I will take it back and exchange it for

something 'younger' " - didnt even ask about my son, my family or

myself. I mean, you would have thought I said he had just gotten a

hair cut!

Mostly people are just like " oh " - dont seem shocked or upset or

anything. I am not sure if they do not understand what autism is, if

they have already known that my DS has such a large delay (though no

one told me!), or if they just cant believe that three of my

children are disabled now...meaning that there must be something

wrong with me (either genetically or as a mother)?????

anyway, that is where my mind goes :-\

Did anyone else some of these strange experiences?

And, speaking of haircuts...any suggestions how to get DS a hair

cut. He usually freaks out and will roll around on the floor and

scream. He will not sit still of me or anyone to cut his hair and it

is getting quite long. I have mostly given up & decided to just let

it grow.

thanks

Donna <- who is busily preparing for company for Xmas

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I can totally relate! Cameron is so high functioning that most people I tell think I don't know what I'm talking about- my mom especially. But the straw that broke THIS camel's back came a year ago when we first started looking into "What is wrong with Cameron?" He had just turned 3 and just started speech therapy. I would walk into the school and hear him screaming from down the hall and around the corner. So one day, about 2 months into it, I finally just asked her what she thought. She said she couldn't tell me, but I wiggled and wormed it out of her that she thought Cameron was autistic. So I came home and wrote to my family, telling them about her hesitance to tell me a specific problem. My sister, Cameron's godmother, and also a teacher, replied that the reason the therapist couldn't tell me anything is because it would make the school liable for testing and treatment. That was it. In defense of the school and nothing about her godson or anything else. We're no longer on speaking terms.

Anne

-- family members strange reactions to autism news?

Did others have some strange reactions when they told their extended family about the possibility of an ASD diagnosis of their child? I am getting some strange ones. The strangest by far was my step-mother who essentially said" "well, that makes me rethink his christmas present, I think I will take it back and exchange it for something 'younger'" - didnt even ask about my son, my family or myself. I mean, you would have thought I said he had just gotten a hair cut!Mostly people are just like "oh" - dont seem shocked or upset or anything. I am not sure if they do not understand what autism is, if they have already known that my DS has such a large delay (though no one told me!), or if they just cant believe that three of my children are disabled now...meaning that there must be something wrong with me (either genetically or as a mother)?????anyway, that is where my mind goes :-\Did anyone else some of these strange experiences?And, speaking of haircuts...any suggestions how to get DS a hair cut. He usually freaks out and will roll around on the floor and scream. He will not sit still of me or anyone to cut his hair and it is getting quite long. I have mostly given up & decided to just let it grow.thanksDonna <- who is busily preparing for company for Xmas

[Guest guest]

When I tell family members about 's aspergers they deny that it is true. I guess they think if they don't accept it it won't be true. I really don't care what any of them think anyway.

About the haircut, begs for haircuts. She hates the feeling of the hair in her face.

Carol Congdon-Barnello <Luvourlives@...> wrote:

We haven't told most of the family. Only my parents and my brother have been told...unless Mom passed on the info, which I am thinking she wouldn't find it her business to do so. I am keeping it on need to know basis, as I want as many people as possible to think of him as Alonzo rather than Autistic Alonzo, if that makes any sense. My cousins two sons are also on the spectrum, but I don't have a whole lot of contact with that side of the family.

As for the haircut...I would probably just make sure he can see and otherwise let it go. We have forced a haircut before and it was a sensory nightmare for my son...I don't recommend it. I suppose if it is really important to you then just ask him to sit thru a couple snips and then give him a treat. It would take a long time to get done, but he may be able to tolerate that better than the thought of sitting and feeling the hair fall for so long.

Donna <dralstin@...> wrote:

Did others have some strange reactions when they told their extended family about the possibility of an ASD diagnosis of their child? I am getting some strange ones. The strangest by far was my step-mother who essentially said" "well, that makes me rethink his christmas present, I think I will take it back and exchange it for something 'younger'" - didnt even ask about my son, my family or myself. I mean, you would have thought I said he had just gotten a hair cut!Mostly people are just like "oh" - dont seem shocked or upset or anything. I am not sure if they do not understand what autism is, if they have already known that my DS has such a large delay (though no one told me!), or if they just cant believe that three of my children are disabled now...meaning that there must be something wrong with me (either genetically

or as a mother)?????anyway, that is where my mind goes :-\Did anyone else some of these strange experiences?And, speaking of haircuts...any suggestions how to get DS a hair cut. He usually freaks out and will roll around on the floor and scream. He will not sit still of me or anyone to cut his hair and it is getting quite long. I have mostly given up & decided to just let it grow.thanksDonna <- who is busily preparing for company for Xmas

Do you ?Send a seasonal email greeting and help others. Do good. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

We haven't told our family. The little I did mention was met with "Well, so-and-so does that..." and "so-and-so does that.." -- the fact that they'd name 3 different kids having one odd behavior each, and ds would have all 3 of those behaviors didn't seem to really matter. I stopped mentioning it. I can tell they don't agree with our parenting style, but that's okay. They don't live with ds, we do, and Dh is very defensive of ds and our parenting choices, so we're pretty okay with them not knowing..and quite often, several of them aren't even phased by the meltdowns or anything, so it just isn't an issue.

We've actually told so few people, I could count them on one hand. (That doesn't count medical professionals.) One friend turned out to be in the same boat with one of her children, not telling people. It's sad it has to be this way -- I'd love for the general public to be aware of what HFA/Asperger's really is, and how each child is different.

Donna

Re: family members strange reactions to autism news?

Well, most of mine and my husband's family are pretty much in denial that are son has autism. They believe he's just going to grow out of this. He is 3, and that's why they think he's still growing and learning. Thing is, he isn't talking at all, has severe sensory issues, and is just basically at a 1 year old level in everything. I just wonder why they don't see the obviously different behaviors he has. All I know is that I see this, and I will get the help he needs no matter what anyone else seems to think. As far as haircuts go with him, we have to do it ourselves, and that seems to be easier. Still not fun, but makes things a little bit easier.

[Guest guest]

I always have to tell my mom, "It's not that one behavior. It's that behavior along with everything else." She still doesn't get it, but I loaned her my Tony Attwood book, so I hope once she has time to read it, she will get it.

Anne

-- Re: family members strange reactions to autism news?

We haven't told our family. The little I did mention was met with "Well, so-and-so does that..." and "so-and-so does that.." -- the fact that they'd name 3 different kids having one odd behavior each, and ds would have all 3 of those behaviors didn't seem to really matter. I stopped mentioning it. I can tell they don't agree with our parenting style, but that's okay. They don't live with ds, we do, and Dh is very defensive of ds and our parenting choices, so we're pretty okay with them not knowing..and quite often, several of them aren't even phased by the meltdowns or anything, so it just isn't an issue.

We've actually told so few people, I could count them on one hand. (That doesn't count medical professionals.) One friend turned out to be in the same boat with one of her children, not telling people. It's sad it has to be this way -- I'd love for the general public to be aware of what HFA/Asperger's really is, and how each child is different.

Donna

Re: family members strange reactions to autism news?

Well, most of mine and my husband's family are pretty much in denial that are son has autism. They believe he's just going to grow out of this. He is 3, and that's why they think he's still growing and learning. Thing is, he isn't talking at all, has severe sensory issues, and is just basically at a 1 year old level in everything. I just wonder why they don't see the obviously different behaviors he has. All I know is that I see this, and I will get the help he needs no matter what anyone else seems to think. As far as haircuts go with him, we have to do it ourselves, and that seems to be easier. Still not fun, but makes things a little bit easier.