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Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

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i agree no one should be exploited but everyone knows if ur on tv ur at a huge risk for it look and poor jon and kate, i love that show, been following since day one no one can change my mind on the subject. like i said in another post on some levels they have to expect drama and exploitation. no one behind the camera is safe from it and any one who does know that is delirious. TrishaFrom: Kassia

<ldy_solana@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 6:08:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

i can understand trish. on one hand its good to see ppl represented but on the other hand this particular situation gets me b/c to me its like being exploited and nobody deserves that.kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting From: Trisha Brandt <wilbty1 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to

Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:01 PM

i have to say i'm sorry my last post was kinda mean and i didn't mean for it to sound that way. i in NO way meant to insult or criticize anyone i was just trying to express how i feel about that! Trisha

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i agree no one should be exploited but everyone knows if ur on tv ur at a huge risk for it look and poor jon and kate, i love that show, been following since day one no one can change my mind on the subject. like i said in another post on some levels they have to expect drama and exploitation. no one behind the camera is safe from it and any one who does know that is delirious. TrishaFrom: Kassia

<ldy_solana@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 6:08:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

i can understand trish. on one hand its good to see ppl represented but on the other hand this particular situation gets me b/c to me its like being exploited and nobody deserves that.kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting From: Trisha Brandt <wilbty1 (DOT) com>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to

Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:01 PM

i have to say i'm sorry my last post was kinda mean and i didn't mean for it to sound that way. i in NO way meant to insult or criticize anyone i was just trying to express how i feel about that! Trisha

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o of course we aren't saying everyone obese ihas either a physical or mental medical problem ans hell half of them that do could sitl lose some weight and be all around healthier if they just put forth the effort. i am by NO MEANS an expert on anything but failure, pokemon and harry potter. i think kassia and i just want to make sure everyone is aware that there are many reasons for obesety and many cannot control it. i with all of u i had to tell my self the same thing a couple time, "get off ur lazy a$$ and just do it the damn work already" (or shut up!) TrishaFrom: "nancydewolf@..." <nancydewolf@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:30:40 PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

It isn't just lack of self esteem or mental ability... a lot of times it is just plain LAZINESS!!!! ! They want it off YESTERDAY and aren't WILLING to put the effort in to changing unhealthy habits. It isn't that they aren't able!!! Not most of them anyway. I know from my own experience how incredibly hard it is to change habits but it can be done, if you want it badly enough. I sound so awful for a WW leader but it is so true! I was that way for MANY years too so I know both sides! (It took me over 20 years to figure out that short cuts don't work! Sometimes I'm a slow learner I guess.)

I agree with the rest of what you said though, including the fact that the idiot you work with has her own set of problems she's working out with you as her victim. Don't be it, Kassia, you are way healthier and stronger than her, physically, mentally and emotionally!

Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

i know a few like this and it stems further then just weight.its self esteem and lack of mental ability to do so,so their pattern is to make fun of others in some way or try to find a weak spot. whose to say where it started but they choose in some way to continue the pattern.obviously these women must be proud of themselves to have the confidence to be on tv and that is great but my issue is all these shows with average women or size 2 gals, always exploit drama and this one i am afraid will go for the social jugular with the weight and what ppl think of them and their weight and judge them for weight and looks. some of them look very pretty and seem so sweet. like i say before i have a bit of a belly bulge and it bothers me i am trying to work on it,but i have one bitch at work that will just point out and be negative like this little bulge defines who i am. there is more to me then a little stomach. there are just as many ppl like the evil woman i work with(whom is naturally thin good for her but eats like crap and parties like she is 20 again but won't come weight lift with me hhhmm) who will be willinging to define you to other based on how you look and its almost that repeat pattern again of ppl judging you. even working out they expect me to be thin like pari hilton or something when i am looking for strength and ability. overall its a media frenzy of looks! well i don't seem ppl on this group on any magazine covers and they are more of an inspiration and more beautiful then celebs and reality 15 min of fame stars. but not everybody would appreciate the beauty of each of us b/c they are so wrapped up in working out for looks then they are about health and strength and i blame a lot of tv for that. kassia

fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting

I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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o of course we aren't saying everyone obese ihas either a physical or mental medical problem ans hell half of them that do could sitl lose some weight and be all around healthier if they just put forth the effort. i am by NO MEANS an expert on anything but failure, pokemon and harry potter. i think kassia and i just want to make sure everyone is aware that there are many reasons for obesety and many cannot control it. i with all of u i had to tell my self the same thing a couple time, "get off ur lazy a$$ and just do it the damn work already" (or shut up!) TrishaFrom: "nancydewolf@..." <nancydewolf@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:30:40 PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

It isn't just lack of self esteem or mental ability... a lot of times it is just plain LAZINESS!!!! ! They want it off YESTERDAY and aren't WILLING to put the effort in to changing unhealthy habits. It isn't that they aren't able!!! Not most of them anyway. I know from my own experience how incredibly hard it is to change habits but it can be done, if you want it badly enough. I sound so awful for a WW leader but it is so true! I was that way for MANY years too so I know both sides! (It took me over 20 years to figure out that short cuts don't work! Sometimes I'm a slow learner I guess.)

I agree with the rest of what you said though, including the fact that the idiot you work with has her own set of problems she's working out with you as her victim. Don't be it, Kassia, you are way healthier and stronger than her, physically, mentally and emotionally!

Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

i know a few like this and it stems further then just weight.its self esteem and lack of mental ability to do so,so their pattern is to make fun of others in some way or try to find a weak spot. whose to say where it started but they choose in some way to continue the pattern.obviously these women must be proud of themselves to have the confidence to be on tv and that is great but my issue is all these shows with average women or size 2 gals, always exploit drama and this one i am afraid will go for the social jugular with the weight and what ppl think of them and their weight and judge them for weight and looks. some of them look very pretty and seem so sweet. like i say before i have a bit of a belly bulge and it bothers me i am trying to work on it,but i have one bitch at work that will just point out and be negative like this little bulge defines who i am. there is more to me then a little stomach. there are just as many ppl like the evil woman i work with(whom is naturally thin good for her but eats like crap and parties like she is 20 again but won't come weight lift with me hhhmm) who will be willinging to define you to other based on how you look and its almost that repeat pattern again of ppl judging you. even working out they expect me to be thin like pari hilton or something when i am looking for strength and ability. overall its a media frenzy of looks! well i don't seem ppl on this group on any magazine covers and they are more of an inspiration and more beautiful then celebs and reality 15 min of fame stars. but not everybody would appreciate the beauty of each of us b/c they are so wrapped up in working out for looks then they are about health and strength and i blame a lot of tv for that. kassia

fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting

I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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that's what i'm doing just paying better attention to what i am eating by journaling it all. the last three days i have literally cut my food intake in half and i feel better. TrishaFrom: "nancydewolf@..." <nancydewolf@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:38:09

PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

I agree too, that there are some people who are psychologically held back from losing weight. I honestly believe that most obese people should do some kind of counseling to heal old wounds that they try to take care of with food. That isn't a WW philosophy though, just my own observation.

Sounds like your DH is doing GREAT, Donna! I don't think you have to be "super fit" or even a super great eater to be healthy, which is what I took away from Judy's comments. I love WW because it teaches moderation.. . exercising in moderation and not trying to cut yourself off from not so helpful treats so that you can live in the real world and enjoy it too, even more so as a healthy person. Your DH is doing what everyone should do. You don't have to spend money on WW even, just use common sense about food & exercise and pay attention to your body's hunger signals. (Easier said than done, for me too though often enough!)

Re: OT: More to Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 2:31 PM

Thanks, everybody. Donna, I'll even go a little further than you did. I think it is fair to make a judgment about people who won't lose weight. (Not those who for medical reasons CAN'T but those who just WON'T.) It does say something about you and what you think of the people who love you if you're not willing to make your own health a priority. I'm all in favor of supporting those who want to improve themselves. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.> >> > oh yeah kitchen nightmares. it was originally a BBC thing he did in britian then brought over here. tell ya the american version MADE tv b/c of how more embarrassing the ppl in america acted over britian. > > > > donna i have to agree we are over bombarded with images of perfection and beauty. while its nice to play dress and be glamorous there is almost no looking at the other side of things and if some magazines do its with such negativity that its hard to see ourselves as "pretty" when celebs with the same "flaws" with get chastize for it in a magazine. > > > > i read one standing line one day about katherine heigel and her "saggy butt". she didn't really have a saggy butt but she is like a kettlebell queen like darcy and i so i took a little offense that this thin woman who can hoist heavy bells with the best of can't be given a positive spin. okay she is not perfect but she is a strong lady to take on such a tough routine from a tough trainer! they sure as heck don't say that! > > > > i have a bit of belly buldge that hates to go away the older i get. its hard to say gosh i am strong i workout hard when i have the body of britney when everybody called her fat.shoot i would have like to have been britney fat LOL she was still in better shape then my abs look now. i have serious self esteem issues b/c i was raised by somebody in the same fashion. never looking on the bright side or the positives or even praising when it was good time too. just always negative negative could be better etc. there are millions like me too! like i said i won't blame media on ALL of it but they have their hands in a big chunk of it. > > > > i give a shout out to all my curvy girls though b/c real men love curves and a woman who isn't afraid to order more then just a light salad on a date. > > > > kassia> >>

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that's what i'm doing just paying better attention to what i am eating by journaling it all. the last three days i have literally cut my food intake in half and i feel better. TrishaFrom: "nancydewolf@..." <nancydewolf@...> Sent: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:38:09

PMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

I agree too, that there are some people who are psychologically held back from losing weight. I honestly believe that most obese people should do some kind of counseling to heal old wounds that they try to take care of with food. That isn't a WW philosophy though, just my own observation.

Sounds like your DH is doing GREAT, Donna! I don't think you have to be "super fit" or even a super great eater to be healthy, which is what I took away from Judy's comments. I love WW because it teaches moderation.. . exercising in moderation and not trying to cut yourself off from not so helpful treats so that you can live in the real world and enjoy it too, even more so as a healthy person. Your DH is doing what everyone should do. You don't have to spend money on WW even, just use common sense about food & exercise and pay attention to your body's hunger signals. (Easier said than done, for me too though often enough!)

Re: OT: More to Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 2:31 PM

Thanks, everybody. Donna, I'll even go a little further than you did. I think it is fair to make a judgment about people who won't lose weight. (Not those who for medical reasons CAN'T but those who just WON'T.) It does say something about you and what you think of the people who love you if you're not willing to make your own health a priority. I'm all in favor of supporting those who want to improve themselves. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.> >> > oh yeah kitchen nightmares. it was originally a BBC thing he did in britian then brought over here. tell ya the american version MADE tv b/c of how more embarrassing the ppl in america acted over britian. > > > > donna i have to agree we are over bombarded with images of perfection and beauty. while its nice to play dress and be glamorous there is almost no looking at the other side of things and if some magazines do its with such negativity that its hard to see ourselves as "pretty" when celebs with the same "flaws" with get chastize for it in a magazine. > > > > i read one standing line one day about katherine heigel and her "saggy butt". she didn't really have a saggy butt but she is like a kettlebell queen like darcy and i so i took a little offense that this thin woman who can hoist heavy bells with the best of can't be given a positive spin. okay she is not perfect but she is a strong lady to take on such a tough routine from a tough trainer! they sure as heck don't say that! > > > > i have a bit of belly buldge that hates to go away the older i get. its hard to say gosh i am strong i workout hard when i have the body of britney when everybody called her fat.shoot i would have like to have been britney fat LOL she was still in better shape then my abs look now. i have serious self esteem issues b/c i was raised by somebody in the same fashion. never looking on the bright side or the positives or even praising when it was good time too. just always negative negative could be better etc. there are millions like me too! like i said i won't blame media on ALL of it but they have their hands in a big chunk of it. > > > > i give a shout out to all my curvy girls though b/c real men love curves and a woman who isn't afraid to order more then just a light salad on a date. > > > > kassia> >>

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I just really HATE when people judge people by their looks. You don't know what the person is going through but people like make value judgments that because this/that woman is over-weight or obese she must be lazy and eat crap all day long. Well, I'm considered obese and I am working towards changing that. Do you think that I sit home all day long on this stupid computer? Do you ever read my posts, some of you do but maybe not. It would have been very easy for me to throw in the towel when I started having foot problems but I didn't. I did water exercises and swam in my pool. I play 4 vs. 4 sand volleyball. How many over-weight/obese people play that?...very few but I'm not going to let any stupid

judgmental person stop me from doing something I LOVE to do! I'm not the best volleyball player but I'm pretty good for someone who is only 5' and has a bad knee and a bad foot! I bet a lot of those skinny-ass girls wouldn't go all out and dive in the sand like I do! Obesity is a disease and I really wish people would start caring about people and offer support rather than judging and making fun of them behind their backs! People should still be supportive of obese people that aren't trying to lose weight..they should lead by example and not make snide remarks like Kassia's co-worker. I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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I just really HATE when people judge people by their looks. You don't know what the person is going through but people like make value judgments that because this/that woman is over-weight or obese she must be lazy and eat crap all day long. Well, I'm considered obese and I am working towards changing that. Do you think that I sit home all day long on this stupid computer? Do you ever read my posts, some of you do but maybe not. It would have been very easy for me to throw in the towel when I started having foot problems but I didn't. I did water exercises and swam in my pool. I play 4 vs. 4 sand volleyball. How many over-weight/obese people play that?...very few but I'm not going to let any stupid

judgmental person stop me from doing something I LOVE to do! I'm not the best volleyball player but I'm pretty good for someone who is only 5' and has a bad knee and a bad foot! I bet a lot of those skinny-ass girls wouldn't go all out and dive in the sand like I do! Obesity is a disease and I really wish people would start caring about people and offer support rather than judging and making fun of them behind their backs! People should still be supportive of obese people that aren't trying to lose weight..they should lead by example and not make snide remarks like Kassia's co-worker. I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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i hate these show in general jen but this one isn't making feel comfortable for THIS reason. giving so called "fitter" ppl fuel for their fire. as mentioned though many "fit" ppl that will judge ppl that are a little softer or curvier are not exactly healthy themselves. co worker in point. parties and drinks like she is 20 and i know she has to be at least 40 each powder mashed potatoes on a daily basis NEVER a vegetable on her plate. but then again if its not this topic then its another topic(she once said i was a fool to trust my husband that he wouldn't cheat b/c that is how men and women act at the club he works at). it doesn't make it hurt any less when i consider the source b/c all i hear is the same thing "your fat your belly is disgusting you need to do this or that". and even if i a try to break the tape in my head it still lays there and i feel

bad. these are the type of ppl that i deal with. now at the YMCA we have all different shapes and sizes and everybody is so friendly and nice. employees and trainers talke to EVERYBODY. its the first time i have ever felt comfortable in the gym. i have had a few compliments and questions about exercises and stretches i do. an older woman was impressed with my flexible yoga stretching while a big muscular guy was asking me about specefic ones and even said he had to try some of those. women have asked about my treadmill workouts and every last one of them were sweet and never once asked about "weight loss" or calories burned. they just want a great workout and it looked fun to them many of our fellow members are marathon runners or play other sports as a hobby so to them,like me, its function and health. at the end of the day even when i was more tight and toned i was always a size 12(even in the older pics posted in my group photo album)

after i lost 40lbs. so this whole size 14-16 thing is just a number and it seems to be their focus of the show. a stupid number! kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2.

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i hate these show in general jen but this one isn't making feel comfortable for THIS reason. giving so called "fitter" ppl fuel for their fire. as mentioned though many "fit" ppl that will judge ppl that are a little softer or curvier are not exactly healthy themselves. co worker in point. parties and drinks like she is 20 and i know she has to be at least 40 each powder mashed potatoes on a daily basis NEVER a vegetable on her plate. but then again if its not this topic then its another topic(she once said i was a fool to trust my husband that he wouldn't cheat b/c that is how men and women act at the club he works at). it doesn't make it hurt any less when i consider the source b/c all i hear is the same thing "your fat your belly is disgusting you need to do this or that". and even if i a try to break the tape in my head it still lays there and i feel

bad. these are the type of ppl that i deal with. now at the YMCA we have all different shapes and sizes and everybody is so friendly and nice. employees and trainers talke to EVERYBODY. its the first time i have ever felt comfortable in the gym. i have had a few compliments and questions about exercises and stretches i do. an older woman was impressed with my flexible yoga stretching while a big muscular guy was asking me about specefic ones and even said he had to try some of those. women have asked about my treadmill workouts and every last one of them were sweet and never once asked about "weight loss" or calories burned. they just want a great workout and it looked fun to them many of our fellow members are marathon runners or play other sports as a hobby so to them,like me, its function and health. at the end of the day even when i was more tight and toned i was always a size 12(even in the older pics posted in my group photo album)

after i lost 40lbs. so this whole size 14-16 thing is just a number and it seems to be their focus of the show. a stupid number! kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2.

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i am with denise!!! every small change you made for the better is a HUGE milestone in a lifestyle change for health! when i started i couldn't even do 12 min of denise austin's workout show and now i use her on my lighter workout days! it took nearly 10 years from where i was to where i am now and still have some more to go. its not failure its progress. kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting

Trish you are doing fantastic. Look back at the last week and how many HUGE improvements you have made. You should feel really proud. Don't say you are a failure. You are still doing it:-) Keep up the wonderful strides!!!!

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i am with denise!!! every small change you made for the better is a HUGE milestone in a lifestyle change for health! when i started i couldn't even do 12 min of denise austin's workout show and now i use her on my lighter workout days! it took nearly 10 years from where i was to where i am now and still have some more to go. its not failure its progress. kassia fitness blogSpecial Needs Scouting

Trish you are doing fantastic. Look back at the last week and how many HUGE improvements you have made. You should feel really proud. Don't say you are a failure. You are still doing it:-) Keep up the wonderful strides!!!!

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Chiming in on the jealousy issue - jealousy is often the "spark" behind negative comments people make about each other. Case in point, I have a co-worker who is extremely fit and in great shape - yet, people make comments about her "having an eating disorder" b/c she doesn't partake in the office snacks and watches her diet - she brings her meals in every day, she is a big salad/fish eater. They even started a rumor that when she was on an extended vacation that she was really at an eating disorder clinic! This woman is fit - she is muscular - and she watches what she eats. The people who made those comments are, I think, just jealous b/c they don't have the discipline to do what she does.

Donna

From: snowlily1960@... <snowlily1960@...>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love? Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:27 PM

Kassia

I am sorry you have a co worker that is so insensitive to say things like that to you. I don't understand people who feel like they have to give you their two cents worth, when you didn't even ask. Some people I know that weigh more than me like to call me 'frail' because I am thinner than them. With the weights I work out with I KNOW I am not frail:-) But it used to bother me a lot, that they would say that. I think jealousy has so much to do with the comments. I am guessing your co worker is jealous of your dedication to working out and wishes she had that kind of staying power, saying things to you in some way makes her feel better. I am sorry.

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Chiming in on the jealousy issue - jealousy is often the "spark" behind negative comments people make about each other. Case in point, I have a co-worker who is extremely fit and in great shape - yet, people make comments about her "having an eating disorder" b/c she doesn't partake in the office snacks and watches her diet - she brings her meals in every day, she is a big salad/fish eater. They even started a rumor that when she was on an extended vacation that she was really at an eating disorder clinic! This woman is fit - she is muscular - and she watches what she eats. The people who made those comments are, I think, just jealous b/c they don't have the discipline to do what she does.

Donna

From: snowlily1960@... <snowlily1960@...>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love? Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:27 PM

Kassia

I am sorry you have a co worker that is so insensitive to say things like that to you. I don't understand people who feel like they have to give you their two cents worth, when you didn't even ask. Some people I know that weigh more than me like to call me 'frail' because I am thinner than them. With the weights I work out with I KNOW I am not frail:-) But it used to bother me a lot, that they would say that. I think jealousy has so much to do with the comments. I am guessing your co worker is jealous of your dedication to working out and wishes she had that kind of staying power, saying things to you in some way makes her feel better. I am sorry.

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I'm stepping in here because this thread finally struck a chord, and I think hit the nail on the head -

whether he realizes it or not.

Looks may be an initial attraction, but it's the personality that's the keeper. And mentioned below

that the whining was a huge turn-off for him. I'm not saying that these women are using their weight

as an excuse for not finding dates, but if they looked in the mirror and looked *inside*, they just

might find the real reason for their inability to have an active dating life. No one wants to be around a

sourpuss or a party-pooper. :-)

In sort of the same vein, I face a similar situation with my father-in-law. He's 80 (God bless him) but he's

just putting on more and more weight to the point now that he can't sit in a chair an not close his legs.

He can't even bend over to tie his shoes. His eating habits aren't bad, but they're not good either,

and he's a shoveler. He has high BP and high cholesterol, but truly believes that he's 'healthy' because

the medication he's on makes his numbers 'healthy'. This bothers me and my husband to no end,

but we know there's nothing we can do about it because it's his decision to eat and live the way he

lives. And it made me wonder where Americans got this idea that medication is good and that you

don't have to work at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. When my best friend from Australia visited

last Christmas, she was amazed at how many overweight people there are in this country. She was

equally amazed at our eating habits.

Makes you wonder...

-Terri-

On Wednesday, July 29, 2009, at 08:58AM, "revaddict" <revaddict@...> wrote:

>

Well, now that I saw the show, here's my take on "More to Love."

I wanted to throw up.

I expected to hear testimonials from these women about why they couldn't lose weight. I was surprised that none of them played the "medical reasons" card. So we don't know for sure why they have weight issues, but their incessant whining about never having dates along with the fact that they didn't claim circumstances beyond their control suggests to me that most of those women are like the rest of America--too darned lazy to put down the Twinkies and get off the couch.

The guy was pathetic too. At over 300lbs he's happy the way he is and he admits he just loves food?? Ugh. He's lucky to be alive. And this show isn't going to help him or whichever lady he ends up with. It will just confirm them both in their complacency about their health.

It is true that our society judges people unfairly on the basis of looks. You might notice that most couples fall into the same general level of physical attractiveness. And I knew a long time ago I'm no Tom Cruise or whoever the ladies' favorite is nowadays. (You can see my pics in the photo section.)

Now, I'm not the superficial kind of guy who obsesses over a woman's looks. I have met some women in my life who were definitely plus-sizes but whom I nevertheless felt an attraction to. (Hey, , I wouldn't cross you off my list just because of some extra pounds, heehee.) I also noticed one or two women on the show last night who I thought were kind of attractive at least on a physical level. But the whining and lack of responsibility from these women makes me think I was right about the show--it's just going to make people feel comfortable with their unhealthy choices while they accuse the rest of us (especially us men) of being shallow.

Well, that's what I got out of the show. I don't think I'll keep watching. What did the rest of you think?

>

> ,

>

> Any idiot that would tell you that you aren't thin enough for him to love ain't worth loving!

>

>

>

>

> Re: OT: More to Love?

>

>

> I agree, this has been a good "hot topic" thread!

>

> I am split in two. On one hand I agree with Kassia, our society is overly obsessed with other peoples' weight and maybe this show will in some way glamorize being obese?

>

> That said, I am in Judy's "fat and fit" category myself. I'm at 210 right now and not happy with this and taking steps to change this. I was at 170 last year. I teach Turbo Kick and can do a Cathe workout. I have slender friends who are winded and done within 10 minutes!

>

> I have been told by men before in tactful and sometimes not-so-tactful ways that they liked me a lot but that I was too fat for them to date. I understand, you like what you like, but it also bums me out that they supposedly like me that much and this is the one thing that stands in the way. What if I was 140 lbs, they got everything they wanted, then I got in a car accident and lost both of my legs? Would they still love me and stick around or would they split?

>

> I have also been blessed to have dated men who liked me just the way I was, and what a glorious feeling that is! Men preferring slender women is mostly a North American and European thing, other cultures prefer women with some meat on their bones.

>

> In short - thank goodness for those men out there who like heavier women and aren't afraid to defy the North American norm or buy into the size 6 and under craze!

>

>

>

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I'm stepping in here because this thread finally struck a chord, and I think hit the nail on the head -

whether he realizes it or not.

Looks may be an initial attraction, but it's the personality that's the keeper. And mentioned below

that the whining was a huge turn-off for him. I'm not saying that these women are using their weight

as an excuse for not finding dates, but if they looked in the mirror and looked *inside*, they just

might find the real reason for their inability to have an active dating life. No one wants to be around a

sourpuss or a party-pooper. :-)

In sort of the same vein, I face a similar situation with my father-in-law. He's 80 (God bless him) but he's

just putting on more and more weight to the point now that he can't sit in a chair an not close his legs.

He can't even bend over to tie his shoes. His eating habits aren't bad, but they're not good either,

and he's a shoveler. He has high BP and high cholesterol, but truly believes that he's 'healthy' because

the medication he's on makes his numbers 'healthy'. This bothers me and my husband to no end,

but we know there's nothing we can do about it because it's his decision to eat and live the way he

lives. And it made me wonder where Americans got this idea that medication is good and that you

don't have to work at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. When my best friend from Australia visited

last Christmas, she was amazed at how many overweight people there are in this country. She was

equally amazed at our eating habits.

Makes you wonder...

-Terri-

On Wednesday, July 29, 2009, at 08:58AM, "revaddict" <revaddict@...> wrote:

>

Well, now that I saw the show, here's my take on "More to Love."

I wanted to throw up.

I expected to hear testimonials from these women about why they couldn't lose weight. I was surprised that none of them played the "medical reasons" card. So we don't know for sure why they have weight issues, but their incessant whining about never having dates along with the fact that they didn't claim circumstances beyond their control suggests to me that most of those women are like the rest of America--too darned lazy to put down the Twinkies and get off the couch.

The guy was pathetic too. At over 300lbs he's happy the way he is and he admits he just loves food?? Ugh. He's lucky to be alive. And this show isn't going to help him or whichever lady he ends up with. It will just confirm them both in their complacency about their health.

It is true that our society judges people unfairly on the basis of looks. You might notice that most couples fall into the same general level of physical attractiveness. And I knew a long time ago I'm no Tom Cruise or whoever the ladies' favorite is nowadays. (You can see my pics in the photo section.)

Now, I'm not the superficial kind of guy who obsesses over a woman's looks. I have met some women in my life who were definitely plus-sizes but whom I nevertheless felt an attraction to. (Hey, , I wouldn't cross you off my list just because of some extra pounds, heehee.) I also noticed one or two women on the show last night who I thought were kind of attractive at least on a physical level. But the whining and lack of responsibility from these women makes me think I was right about the show--it's just going to make people feel comfortable with their unhealthy choices while they accuse the rest of us (especially us men) of being shallow.

Well, that's what I got out of the show. I don't think I'll keep watching. What did the rest of you think?

>

> ,

>

> Any idiot that would tell you that you aren't thin enough for him to love ain't worth loving!

>

>

>

>

> Re: OT: More to Love?

>

>

> I agree, this has been a good "hot topic" thread!

>

> I am split in two. On one hand I agree with Kassia, our society is overly obsessed with other peoples' weight and maybe this show will in some way glamorize being obese?

>

> That said, I am in Judy's "fat and fit" category myself. I'm at 210 right now and not happy with this and taking steps to change this. I was at 170 last year. I teach Turbo Kick and can do a Cathe workout. I have slender friends who are winded and done within 10 minutes!

>

> I have been told by men before in tactful and sometimes not-so-tactful ways that they liked me a lot but that I was too fat for them to date. I understand, you like what you like, but it also bums me out that they supposedly like me that much and this is the one thing that stands in the way. What if I was 140 lbs, they got everything they wanted, then I got in a car accident and lost both of my legs? Would they still love me and stick around or would they split?

>

> I have also been blessed to have dated men who liked me just the way I was, and what a glorious feeling that is! Men preferring slender women is mostly a North American and European thing, other cultures prefer women with some meat on their bones.

>

> In short - thank goodness for those men out there who like heavier women and aren't afraid to defy the North American norm or buy into the size 6 and under craze!

>

>

>

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GO JEN!!!! TrishaFrom: from Michigan <volleyjen0416@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 12:56:52 AMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

I just really HATE when people judge people by their looks. You don't know what the person is going through but people like make value judgments that because this/that woman is over-weight or obese she must be lazy and eat crap all day long. Well, I'm considered obese and I am working towards changing that. Do you think that I sit home all day long on this stupid computer? Do you ever read my posts, some of you do but maybe not. It would have been very easy for me to throw in the towel when I started having foot problems but I

didn't. I did water exercises and swam in my pool. I play 4 vs. 4 sand volleyball. How many over-weight/ obese people play that?...very few but I'm not going to let any stupid

judgmental person stop me from doing something I LOVE to do! I'm not the best volleyball player but I'm pretty good for someone who is only 5' and has a bad knee and a bad foot! I bet a lot of those skinny-ass girls wouldn't go all out and dive in the sand like I do! Obesity is a disease and I really wish people would start caring about people and offer support rather than judging and making fun of them behind their backs! People should still be supportive of obese people that aren't trying to lose weight..they should lead by example and not make snide remarks like Kassia's co-worker. I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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GO JEN!!!! TrishaFrom: from Michigan <volleyjen0416@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 12:56:52 AMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

I just really HATE when people judge people by their looks. You don't know what the person is going through but people like make value judgments that because this/that woman is over-weight or obese she must be lazy and eat crap all day long. Well, I'm considered obese and I am working towards changing that. Do you think that I sit home all day long on this stupid computer? Do you ever read my posts, some of you do but maybe not. It would have been very easy for me to throw in the towel when I started having foot problems but I

didn't. I did water exercises and swam in my pool. I play 4 vs. 4 sand volleyball. How many over-weight/ obese people play that?...very few but I'm not going to let any stupid

judgmental person stop me from doing something I LOVE to do! I'm not the best volleyball player but I'm pretty good for someone who is only 5' and has a bad knee and a bad foot! I bet a lot of those skinny-ass girls wouldn't go all out and dive in the sand like I do! Obesity is a disease and I really wish people would start caring about people and offer support rather than judging and making fun of them behind their backs! People should still be supportive of obese people that aren't trying to lose weight..they should lead by example and not make snide remarks like Kassia's co-worker. I do hate this show though because it's not going to be supportive for these women it's just going to have the skinny witches and shallow men laughing their asses off while they lounge on their sofas drinking beer/wine.That's all I have to say about this

topic. Jenp.s. , I think EVERYONE deserves to have a lover/companion in their life whether or not they are a size 24 or a size 2. I just lose all patience with people who whine about their obesity or poor health even though they have made the choices that made them that way.---

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thank u denise, i am proud. i wish i had a battery for my scales to know how proud to be but i am pround and i'm not quitting! Trisha From: "snowlily1960@..." <snowlily1960@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 1:38:30 AMSubject:

Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

Trish you are doing fantastic. Look back at the last week and how many HUGE improvements you have made. You should feel really proud. Don't say you are a failure. You are still doing it:-) Keep up the wonderful strides!!!!

Hot Deals at Dell on Popular Laptops perfect for Back to School

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thank u denise, i am proud. i wish i had a battery for my scales to know how proud to be but i am pround and i'm not quitting! Trisha From: "snowlily1960@..." <snowlily1960@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 1:38:30 AMSubject:

Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

Trish you are doing fantastic. Look back at the last week and how many HUGE improvements you have made. You should feel really proud. Don't say you are a failure. You are still doing it:-) Keep up the wonderful strides!!!!

Hot Deals at Dell on Popular Laptops perfect for Back to School

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Donna,oh absolutely i agree, as i said i am a jealous person. and most of it stems from the fact they are more dedicated, have the focus i wish i had, and have discipline i don't, but i don't like to pick on or criticize people or judge on how they look, i was that fat poor kid no one wanted to talk to or play with. i spend more of my school years alone then with friends, but i think that's what caused my jealousy issues, at least partly. give me time and i'll figure out what else causes it for me. i'm not making excuses just analyzing myself! i do that ALOT! TrishaFrom: Donna M-P <donna112520@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 6:58:08 AMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

Chiming in on the jealousy issue - jealousy is often the "spark" behind negative comments people make about each other. Case in point, I have a co-worker who is extremely fit and in great shape - yet, people make comments about her "having an eating disorder" b/c she doesn't partake in the office snacks and watches her diet - she brings her meals in every day, she is a big salad/fish eater. They even started a rumor that when she was on an extended vacation that she was really at an eating disorder clinic! This woman is fit - she is muscular - and she watches what she eats. The people who made those comments

are, I think, just jealous b/c they don't have the discipline to do what she does.

Donna

From: snowlily1960@ aol.com <snowlily1960@ aol.com>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:27 PM

Kassia

I am sorry you have a co worker that is so insensitive to say things like that to you. I don't understand people who feel like they have to give you their two cents worth, when you didn't even ask. Some people I know that weigh more than me like to call me 'frail' because I am thinner than them. With the weights I work out with I KNOW I am not frail:-) But it used to bother me a lot, that they would say that. I think jealousy has so much to do with the comments. I am guessing your co worker is jealous of your dedication to working out and wishes she had that kind of staying power, saying things to you in some way makes her feel better. I am sorry.

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Donna,oh absolutely i agree, as i said i am a jealous person. and most of it stems from the fact they are more dedicated, have the focus i wish i had, and have discipline i don't, but i don't like to pick on or criticize people or judge on how they look, i was that fat poor kid no one wanted to talk to or play with. i spend more of my school years alone then with friends, but i think that's what caused my jealousy issues, at least partly. give me time and i'll figure out what else causes it for me. i'm not making excuses just analyzing myself! i do that ALOT! TrishaFrom: Donna M-P <donna112520@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 6:58:08 AMSubject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?

Chiming in on the jealousy issue - jealousy is often the "spark" behind negative comments people make about each other. Case in point, I have a co-worker who is extremely fit and in great shape - yet, people make comments about her "having an eating disorder" b/c she doesn't partake in the office snacks and watches her diet - she brings her meals in every day, she is a big salad/fish eater. They even started a rumor that when she was on an extended vacation that she was really at an eating disorder clinic! This woman is fit - she is muscular - and she watches what she eats. The people who made those comments

are, I think, just jealous b/c they don't have the discipline to do what she does.

Donna

From: snowlily1960@ aol.com <snowlily1960@ aol.com>Subject: Re: Re: OT: More to Love?Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009, 7:27 PM

Kassia

I am sorry you have a co worker that is so insensitive to say things like that to you. I don't understand people who feel like they have to give you their two cents worth, when you didn't even ask. Some people I know that weigh more than me like to call me 'frail' because I am thinner than them. With the weights I work out with I KNOW I am not frail:-) But it used to bother me a lot, that they would say that. I think jealousy has so much to do with the comments. I am guessing your co worker is jealous of your dedication to working out and wishes she had that kind of staying power, saying things to you in some way makes her feel better. I am sorry.

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

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i won't watch any more either paul. it was just sad, i can agree that they all were wanting pitty and had the poor me attitude which i hate but it seems, like u said, they like it. they like food they like being big and that's ok with me. if that's what make them happy then who am i to say anything about them at all. it's their choice and they have to live with it. TrishaFrom: revaddict <revaddict@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 7:58:35 AMSubject: Re: OT: More to Love?

Well, now that I saw the show, here's my take on "More to Love."

I wanted to throw up.

I expected to hear testimonials from these women about why they couldn't lose weight. I was surprised that none of them played the "medical reasons" card. So we don't know for sure why they have weight issues, but their incessant whining about never having dates along with the fact that they didn't claim circumstances beyond their control suggests to me that most of those women are like the rest of America--too darned lazy to put down the Twinkies and get off the couch.

The guy was pathetic too. At over 300lbs he's happy the way he is and he admits he just loves food?? Ugh. He's lucky to be alive. And this show isn't going to help him or whichever lady he ends up with. It will just confirm them both in their complacency about their health.

It is true that our society judges people unfairly on the basis of looks. You might notice that most couples fall into the same general level of physical attractiveness. And I knew a long time ago I'm no Tom Cruise or whoever the ladies' favorite is nowadays. (You can see my pics in the photo section.)

Now, I'm not the superficial kind of guy who obsesses over a woman's looks. I have met some women in my life who were definitely plus-sizes but whom I nevertheless felt an attraction to. (Hey, , I wouldn't cross you off my list just because of some extra pounds, heehee.) I also noticed one or two women on the show last night who I thought were kind of attractive at least on a physical level. But the whining and lack of responsibility from these women makes me think I was right about the show--it's just going to make people feel comfortable with their unhealthy choices while they accuse the rest of us (especially us men) of being shallow.

Well, that's what I got out of the show. I don't think I'll keep watching. What did the rest of you think?

>

> ,

>

> Any idiot that would tell you that you aren't thin enough for him to love ain't worth loving!

>

>

>

>

> Re: OT: More to Love?

>

>

> I agree, this has been a good "hot topic" thread!

>

> I am split in two. On one hand I agree with Kassia, our society is overly obsessed with other peoples' weight and maybe this show will in some way glamorize being obese?

>

> That said, I am in Judy's "fat and fit" category myself. I'm at 210 right now and not happy with this and taking steps to change this. I was at 170 last year. I teach Turbo Kick and can do a Cathe workout. I have slender friends who are winded and done within 10 minutes!

>

> I have been told by men before in tactful and sometimes not-so-tactful ways that they liked me a lot but that I was too fat for them to date. I understand, you like what you like, but it also bums me out that they supposedly like me that much and this is the one thing that stands in the way. What if I was 140 lbs, they got everything they wanted, then I got in a car accident and lost both of my legs? Would they still love me and stick around or would they split?

>

> I have also been blessed to have dated men who liked me just the way I was, and what a glorious feeling that is! Men preferring slender women is mostly a North American and European thing, other cultures prefer women with some meat on their bones.

>

> In short - thank goodness for those men out there who like heavier women and aren't afraid to defy the North American norm or buy into the size 6 and under craze!

>

>

>

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Guest guest

i won't watch any more either paul. it was just sad, i can agree that they all were wanting pitty and had the poor me attitude which i hate but it seems, like u said, they like it. they like food they like being big and that's ok with me. if that's what make them happy then who am i to say anything about them at all. it's their choice and they have to live with it. TrishaFrom: revaddict <revaddict@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 7:58:35 AMSubject: Re: OT: More to Love?

Well, now that I saw the show, here's my take on "More to Love."

I wanted to throw up.

I expected to hear testimonials from these women about why they couldn't lose weight. I was surprised that none of them played the "medical reasons" card. So we don't know for sure why they have weight issues, but their incessant whining about never having dates along with the fact that they didn't claim circumstances beyond their control suggests to me that most of those women are like the rest of America--too darned lazy to put down the Twinkies and get off the couch.

The guy was pathetic too. At over 300lbs he's happy the way he is and he admits he just loves food?? Ugh. He's lucky to be alive. And this show isn't going to help him or whichever lady he ends up with. It will just confirm them both in their complacency about their health.

It is true that our society judges people unfairly on the basis of looks. You might notice that most couples fall into the same general level of physical attractiveness. And I knew a long time ago I'm no Tom Cruise or whoever the ladies' favorite is nowadays. (You can see my pics in the photo section.)

Now, I'm not the superficial kind of guy who obsesses over a woman's looks. I have met some women in my life who were definitely plus-sizes but whom I nevertheless felt an attraction to. (Hey, , I wouldn't cross you off my list just because of some extra pounds, heehee.) I also noticed one or two women on the show last night who I thought were kind of attractive at least on a physical level. But the whining and lack of responsibility from these women makes me think I was right about the show--it's just going to make people feel comfortable with their unhealthy choices while they accuse the rest of us (especially us men) of being shallow.

Well, that's what I got out of the show. I don't think I'll keep watching. What did the rest of you think?

>

> ,

>

> Any idiot that would tell you that you aren't thin enough for him to love ain't worth loving!

>

>

>

>

> Re: OT: More to Love?

>

>

> I agree, this has been a good "hot topic" thread!

>

> I am split in two. On one hand I agree with Kassia, our society is overly obsessed with other peoples' weight and maybe this show will in some way glamorize being obese?

>

> That said, I am in Judy's "fat and fit" category myself. I'm at 210 right now and not happy with this and taking steps to change this. I was at 170 last year. I teach Turbo Kick and can do a Cathe workout. I have slender friends who are winded and done within 10 minutes!

>

> I have been told by men before in tactful and sometimes not-so-tactful ways that they liked me a lot but that I was too fat for them to date. I understand, you like what you like, but it also bums me out that they supposedly like me that much and this is the one thing that stands in the way. What if I was 140 lbs, they got everything they wanted, then I got in a car accident and lost both of my legs? Would they still love me and stick around or would they split?

>

> I have also been blessed to have dated men who liked me just the way I was, and what a glorious feeling that is! Men preferring slender women is mostly a North American and European thing, other cultures prefer women with some meat on their bones.

>

> In short - thank goodness for those men out there who like heavier women and aren't afraid to defy the North American norm or buy into the size 6 and under craze!

>

>

>

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Thank you Judy!!!!!! I would love to have you there sharing your awesome insights too!!!!

Re: OT: More to Love?

Wow, it looks like I really started something here. I didn't think the discussion would get this intense so fast.Kassia has a great point that the media wrongly portrays how people--especially women--should look. I'm not in favor of that at all.My suspicion about this show is that it may normalize obesity by showing what a great thing it is that such a woman can find a guy.Now, before everybody throws rotten tomatoes (or worse) at me, let me make myself clear. I know it's not realistic to expect every woman to be a miniature size, and I wish the media didn't put that pressure out there. At the same time, approving of obesity is not a healthy message to send either. I suspect the tone of the show will be "See, here's a guy who's not too shallow to date a heavy woman unlike the rest of you shallow American men, so there's nothing wrong with being fat."To which my response is: Yes, there is something wrong with that. It's hazardous to your health. Where is the personal responsibility of those who are overweight? How can anybody--male or female--live a lifestyle that contributes to obesity and all the health problems that come with it and yet expect that other people should just overlook the problems of being in a relationship with an obese person?Maybe the guy on the show does have a problem with women so he needs something pathetic like this show to get a date. (Of course he's also doing it for the money.) But if he's smart, why would he get into a relationship with a woman who is on a collision course with a heart attack and could be dead in a few years?Of course, not all obesity is within our ability to control. I've known people with thyroid problems and things that make them obese no matter what. I don't blame them for the way they are, and I feel sorry for them. But I have no sympathy for the growing number of people in this country--both men and women--who are to darned lazy and undisciplined to take responsibility for keeping themselves healthy. Face it; that's what most of American obesity is.I bust my butt down there in the workout room 5 or 6 days a week just like a lot of you. I don't think I have a right to expect that a woman should fall in love with me if decide to let myself blow up to 300 lbs. Willingly letting your health go down the drain like that is selfish, short-sighted and says a lot about your personality.Okay, can I come out from cover now? :-)>> oh yeah kitchen nightmares. it was originally a BBC thing he did in britian then brought over here. tell ya the american version MADE tv b/c of how more embarrassing the ppl in america acted over britian. > > donna i have to agree we are over bombarded with images of perfection and beauty. while its nice to play dress and be glamorous there is almost no looking at the other side of things and if some magazines do its with such negativity that its hard to see ourselves as "pretty" when celebs with the same "flaws" with get chastize for it in a magazine. > > i read one standing line one day about katherine heigel and her "saggy butt". she didn't really have a saggy butt but she is like a kettlebell queen like darcy and i so i took a little offense that this thin woman who can hoist heavy bells with the best of can't be given a positive spin. okay she is not perfect but she is a strong lady to take on such a tough routine from a tough trainer! they sure as heck don't say that! > > i have a bit of belly buldge that hates to go away the older i get. its hard to say gosh i am strong i workout hard when i have the body of britney when everybody called her fat.shoot i would have like to have been britney fat LOL she was still in better shape then my abs look now. i have serious self esteem issues b/c i was raised by somebody in the same fashion. never looking on the bright side or the positives or even praising when it was good time too. just always negative negative could be better etc. there are millions like me too! like i said i won't blame media on ALL of it but they have their hands in a big chunk of it. > > i give a shout out to all my curvy girls though b/c real men love curves and a woman who isn't afraid to order more then just a light salad on a date. > > kassia>

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