Second band

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Hi all, No one ever said this "journey" is the easiest ... well, they didn't if they are walking the path. The ones who think it is easy are those who are possibly thinner, possibly jealous if they aren't and certainly are not following our footsteps. The past year - especially the past six months - have been a huge struggle for me band wise. I have put on 15 kg since April after Prof O'Brien removed my fill to allow my stomach a bit of a rest from the reflux. When I told my sister that I had gained weight, her response was "well you have to take responsibility for what you eat". She is right - but she will never understand the immense hunger we go through. Bron was born with mum's genes, I with my dads. The hard part for me has been that I am ravenously hungry, yet despite having no fill, am still unable to eat good food. So I eat

what I can which has been unhealthy most of the time, and occasionally a healthier alternative. I have been so tired and lethargic. I think this is a combination of not being able to eat nutritiously, and because I am carrying this extra weight! When you lose weight, you feel so invigorated! When you gain it, you become sluggish. When you gain weight, you also don't sleep as well and I think this has also happened to me. It is an effort to roll over in bed. I wake up feeling tired! Ugh. I became disheartened (as you do) and began to think that I was going to be the failure that I tell everyone else they are not! I had added pressure because of the job I do ~ how can I stand in front of new potential bandsters and tell them that the band does work, when I am gaining weight. Of course, there is a slightly different side to this as well in that many

patients feel totally comfortable with a "fatty" talking to them because there is nothing worse than an image telling them that they know how hard it is. I have also had a lot of pressure from the surgeon I work for - and I can understand it totally. He doesn't "sell" the band, but he does want people to have an example to look up to. Talk about life in a fish bowl. I became frustrated when a patient would lose 10 kg in 10 weeks and cry because it wasn't fast enough. Don't get me wrong here ... I understand the frustration! But I get upset when people set themselves unrealistic expectations. I get upset when people lose weight and still eat junk food 80% of the time - that is my jealousy rearing its ugly head! lol I am now booked for my second band on Wednesday 1st November. I have learned over the past five years some lessons and I hope that I

have the tenacity and endurance to apply these lessons this time around. I know I will have to work harder this time, but hopefully with a band that is working, I will be able to eat the healthy stuff that I am craving right now! What I hope to achieve this time round that I was slack about last time - * to lose and maintain a loss of 20 kg - this would put me back to a BMI of 27. * to use the initial post op period wisely and to limit the size of my portions. * to make the most of the first 12 to 18 months when it is easier to control my hunger levels and to use this time to get into better habits! * to not be such a slacker and to do more exercise. * to take my vitamins like I am told to do! Oh how I hate the taste of them! Hopefully with this band, I

will be better off in that it will work properly and I won't struggle like I did with Band number 1. Prof told me I had achieved what he expected me to achieve with this band (1) but he expected that I would exceed this with band 2. So ... I fly to Melbourne on Tuesday at lunch time. Trot down to The Avenue, have a barium swallow just so they can see where it is sitting. I am going to ask him to then remove my fill because I am craving fruit salad ... I mean FRESH fruit salad. No, I don't want bread, I don't want meat ... I just want to eat a fresh fruit salad! Book into The Avenue at 10 am on Wednesday for surgery. Don't know what time, but am hoping that it will be early enough so that I will be awake to watch survivor that night! hahaha So all ... now it is my turn to join the multiple bandster list. Despite the set back?, I would never

hesitate having as many bands as necessary to control this beast! Bev Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.