younger siblings

[Guest guest]

I'm experiencing a little problem with Nicolas (6 1/2) and his little

sister, (9 months). We worked really hard before she was born

to prepare Nicolas for a baby -- we bought a doll, called her the

baby, and taught Nicolas appropriate gentle behavior toward her.

Since she's been born, we've tried to make sure Nicolas still gets

equal attention, so he's not resentful of her...all the stuff you're

supposed to do to prepare older kids for younger siblings. Anyway,

our work's paid off for the most part -- they are very affectionate

toward each other. Nicolas loves to give hugs and kisses, he

helps feed her and puts her clothes away. And absolutely

adores Nicolas. That seems to be the basis of the problem --

wants to be wherever Nicolas is. Literally. She is truly

" underfoot " and wants to be as close to him as possible. He handles

it really really well and is remarkably tolerant of her -- he usually

gets up and walks away, or waits for me to come get her. Sometimes,

though, and it seems to be out of the blue, he'll just reach over and

push her over. Or he'll do his handflapping on her head. Or he'll

hug her and then push her head in the floor. So far she's managed to

escape serious bodily harm, but I don't know how long her guardian

angel will be watching her! Anyway, he is non-verbal and has no real

way of expressing his frustration, at least not that we've discovered.

His behaviorist is targeting the behavior, but so far we haven't come

up with anything that works. I know it's pretty typical older sibling

stuff, but Nicolas doesn't know his own strength and I'm afraid he's

really going to hurt her. Has anyone else had this problem? Any

suggestions? Thanks a bunch for any insight...

Carole