RE: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

[Guest guest]

understood

From: " Barry" <kevin.barry.gr@...>Reply- EOHarm EOHarm Subject: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent TrapDate: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 19:26:28 -0000>still percolating Heidi. >>>>>>

[Guest guest]

I am seriously upset that any parent could take their child's life let a lone one with autism disorders. I have a child of my own on the spectrum and also a 5 year old nephew..... Well some still have a chance to help these children with natural supplements and there are also Dan doctors and a chelation process as well ,......schaferatsprynet <schafer@...> wrote: Not so easy for me, either. This is so wrong-headed and ignorant, Ididn't where to start. I'm going to title this piece in thenewsletter as "Hope that Kills?"We are just going to have to make up our minds. Either we'rerefridgerator moms or hope-hysterical homicial parents. Whendisappointment strikes from irrational recovery fetish, what else canyou do but kill your kid? (that's sarcasm, for those of you in

DesMoines.)LennyCan't believe you didn't comment on that ? From: " Barry" Reply-EOHarm EOHarm Subject: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000 >Autism's Parent Trap > >By CAMMIE McGOVERN >Published: June 5, 2006 >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html? >_r=1 & oref=slogin > >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

[Guest guest]

Lenny,

I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type of stuff. When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets into his classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We never examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that Pharma is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood.

I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information site one particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was "dreams of snakes". Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy to understand because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know.

Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign:

"Is that all there is, is that all there is If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancingLet's break out the booze and have a ballIf that's all there is

NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000 >Autism's Parent Trap > >By CAMMIE McGOVERN >Published: June 5, 2006 >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html? >_r=1 & oref=slogin > >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

[Guest guest]

Peggy freakin’ Lee??? God, you are

old!

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Kerbob

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 6:46

PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: Re: NYT

OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Lenny,

I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type of

stuff. When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets

into his classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We

never examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that

Pharma is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and

over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood.

I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information

site one particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was " dreams

of snakes " . Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy

to understand because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know.

Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign:

" Is that all there is, is

that all there is

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is

NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000

>Autism's Parent Trap

>

>By CAMMIE McGOVERN

>Published: June 5, 2006

>http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?

>_r=1 & oref=slogin

>

>IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with

grimly similar

>plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic

children.

[Guest guest]

Hey - a punk band re-did this song in the 80's. (Same time period that Sid Vicious did "My Way" his way.)

I forget the artist but maybe we could refer to that one so Lenny does not feel so damn old!

He he,

A Jeff's mom

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Holly BortfeldSent: Monday, June 05, 2006 4:30 PMEOHarm Subject: RE: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Peggy freakin’ Lee??? God, you are old!

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of KerbobSent: Monday, June 05, 2006 6:46 PMEOHarm Subject: Re: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Lenny,

I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type of stuff. When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets into his classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We never examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that Pharma is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood.

I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information site one particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was "dreams of snakes". Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy to understand because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know.

Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign:

"Is that all there is, is that all there is If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancingLet's break out the booze and have a ballIf that's all there is

NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000 >Autism's Parent Trap > >By CAMMIE McGOVERN >Published: June 5, 2006 >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html? >_r=1 & oref=slogin > >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

[Guest guest]

Hey, you guys, leave Lenny alone. You're just jealous cause you weren't around for "Gidget Does Hawaii and How Much is That Doggie in the Window. Maurine Ackerman <tacanow@...> wrote: Hey - a

punk band re-did this song in the 80's. (Same time period that Sid Vicious did "My Way" his way.) I forget the artist but maybe we could refer to that one so Lenny does not feel so damn old! He he, A Jeff's mom From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Holly BortfeldSent: Monday, June 05, 2006 4:30 PMEOHarm Subject: RE: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Peggy freakin’ Lee??? God, you are old! From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of KerbobSent: Monday, June 05, 2006 6:46 PMEOHarm Subject: Re: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Lenny, I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type of stuff. When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets into his classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We never examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that Pharma is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood. I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information site one particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was "dreams of snakes". Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy to understand because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know. Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign: "Is that all there is, is that all there is If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancingLet's break out the booze and have a ballIf that's all there is NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000 >Autism's Parent Trap > >By CAMMIE McGOVERN >Published: June 5, 2006 >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html? >_r=1 & oref=slogin > >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly

similar >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

Hey I was picking on Kerbob, not lenny.  Lenny

isn’t old, he’s just short.

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Maurine Meleck

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 8:06

PM

EOHarm

Subject: RE: Re: NYT

OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Hey, you guys, leave Lenny alone. You're just jealous cause you

weren't around for " Gidget Does Hawaii and How Much is That Doggie in the

Window. Maurine

Ackerman

<tacanow@...> wrote:

Hey - a punk band re-did this song

in the 80's. (Same time period that Sid Vicious did " My Way " his

way.)

I forget the artist but maybe we could

refer to that one so Lenny does not feel so damn old!

He he,

A Jeff's mom

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Holly Bortfeld

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 4:30

PM

EOHarm

Subject: RE: Re: NYT

OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Peggy freakin’ Lee??? God,

you are old!

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of Kerbob

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 6:46

PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: Re: NYT

OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Lenny,

I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type of

stuff. When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets

into his classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We

never examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that

Pharma is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and

over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood.

I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information

site one particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was " dreams

of snakes " . Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy

to understand because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know.

Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign:

" Is that all there is, is

that all there is

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is

NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000

>Autism's Parent Trap

>

>By CAMMIE McGOVERN

>Published: June 5, 2006

>http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?

>_r=1 & oref=slogin

>

>IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with

grimly similar

>plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic

children.

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great

rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

See, I am always the last to know!  That’s

what happens when you miss the taxi to karaoke, Lenny.  Btw, Mike was fabulous

that night.  

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of schaferatsprynet

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 11:05

PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: NYT OP-ED,

Autism's Parent Trap

Short about $20. See, at least some of my jokes are old.

Actually, I am short, but not little (Holly wouldn't know.)

Lenny

>

> Hey - a punk band re-did this song in the 80's. (Same time period

that Sid

> Vicious did " My Way " his way.)

>

> I forget the artist but maybe we could refer to that one so Lenny

does not

> feel so damn old!

>

>

>

>

>

> He he,

>

> A Jeff's mom

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: EOHarm

[mailto:EOHarm ]

On

Behalf Of

> Holly Bortfeld

> Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 4:30 PM

> EOHarm

> Subject: RE: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

>

> Peggy freakin' Lee??? God, you are old!

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: EOHarm

[mailto:EOHarm ]

On

Behalf Of

> Kerbob

> Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 6:46 PM

> EOHarm

> Subject: Re: Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

>

>

>

> Lenny,

>

>

>

> I am 100% positive that there are many untold factors in this type

of stuff.

> When a sixteen year old trench coat wearing puker sprays bullets

into his

> classmates or family members we never read toxicology reports. We never

> examine the drugs these kids are on. Yet the rumblings tell us that

Pharma

> is batting 1.000 when it comes to inexplicable school shootings and

> over-stressed, burned out moms senselessly killing their brood.

>

>

>

> I mean come on I read a few weeks ago on some drug information site one

> particular semi-common prescription drug side effect was " dreams of

snakes " .

> Those are side effects. Many side effects we see and are easy to

understand

> because they are outward. Others are inward and we never know.

>

>

>

> Should we put on the old Peggy Lee record and sign:

>

>

>

> " Is that all there is, is that all there is

> If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

> Let's break out the booze and have a ball

> If that's all there is

>

>

>

> NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

> Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000

> >Autism's Parent Trap

> >

> >By CAMMIE McGOVERN

> >Published: June 5, 2006

> >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?

> >_r=1 & oref=slogin

> >

> >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly

similar

> >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great

>

<http://us.rd./mail_us/taglines/postman7/*http:/us.rd./evt

> =39666/*http:/messenger.> rates starting at 1¢/min.

>

[Guest guest]

ewwwwwwwwwwww

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of schaferatsprynet

Sent: Monday, June 05, 2006 11:19

PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: NYT OP-ED,

Autism's Parent Trap

Thanks for sticking up, Maurine,

It comes with doing high-profile advocacy. The community sees you as

a public nose everyone gets to pick on. -sigh-

Lenny

>

> Hey, you guys, leave Lenny alone. You're just jealous cause you

weren't around for " Gidget Does Hawaii

and How Much is That Doggie in

the Window. Maurine

[Guest guest]

Don't want to warp his ultra-lounge collection of Esquivel, including his personal favorite "space-age bachelor pad music" album. All originals! No scratches!

Tuesday night he converts the living room into a pretty impressive rendition of Tiki Room. By ten he's out there somewhere in the summer sunset crooning "boink, boink" with his fist wrapped around a Samoan Fog Cutter steering for a break in the weather..

NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:37:47 -0000 >Autism's Parent Trap > >By CAMMIE McGOVERN >Published: June 5, 2006 >http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html? >_r=1 & oref=slogin > >IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar >plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

Self-righteous.

In the NYTimes?

Can't be.

Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Unfrickingbelievable! Who gave her the right to speak on my behalf? Or yours for that matter? Like she needs to educate US! Her child is only 10 and now she has the gift of wisdom? Please! You can't get any more self-righteous than her. Now for those of you who are curing and have cured their children, be warned - You are giving too much hope to the ENTIRE autistic parenting population and just watch, you too, will be blamed for any future (God help us) murders. I agree with where's her email address - now it's our turn to give her the gift of our wisdom!Sally>> Autism's Parent Trap > > By CAMMIE McGOVERN > Published: June 5, 2006 > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> _r=1 & oref=slogin> > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River Humber, > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, was > trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland hospital > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, accused of > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the police > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old daughter, > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the parents > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," Alison > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > jump "an act of love." > > A friend of Dr. McCarron's — a fellow member of her local autism-> support group — told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. She > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who remembers, > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never taking a > night off — because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts did > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would not be > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many parents > are led to expect.> > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > need to increase support for the rising number of families > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket expenses > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new diagnoses > of autism in this country every day, support services are already > too stretched to meet the need.> > But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it is > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read the > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and other > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a variety > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all your > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > And who wouldn't do almost anything — mortgage a home, abandon a > autistic child to lead a normal life? > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents who > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered child > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't happen; > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent weeks > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every parent of > a child on the autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in the > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I fear > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a half-> million autistic children feeling like failures.> > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for autistic > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering a > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but they > do get better. > > And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from the > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember thinking > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > teaching him language — the flashcards, the drills, the repetitions. > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we don't > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> free day.> > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd fixations, > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to enjoy > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who will > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > frustrated. To aim for full recovery — for the person your child > might have been without autism — is to enter a dangerous emotional > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > determination and limited progress may have been lethal.>

[Guest guest]

Don't hold your breath.

The NYTimes is dirty on this issue.

The agenca driven Times is concerned about the effect the generational mercury poisoning will have on universal healthcare mandates.

They should be.

Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Actually Sally I'm glad this was printed, otherwise we may have never seen such an opinon. Yes too it is essential that we send our view to the NY Times as well as Ms. Mc Govern. I'd urge folks to do so in a way that will express how you feel about your child, how you feel about such portrayals, and too how giving hope to others via biomedical interventions should not be looked upon as leading folks down a blind path.Additionally however we do need to look at this as a choice, some folks choose not to make those choices as well and we should consider that. We also need to look at acceptance of autism and learning to live with it as well and how that too can be a postive.Carolyn > >> > Autism's Parent Trap > > > > By CAMMIE McGOVERN > > Published: June 5, 2006 > > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> > _r=1 & oref=slogin> > > > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly > similar > > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River > Humber, > > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, was > > trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland hospital > > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, accused > of > > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the police > > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old daughter, > > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the parents > > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," Alison > > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > > jump "an act of love." > > > > A friend of Dr. McCarron's — a fellow member of her local autism-> > support group — told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. > She > > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who remembers, > > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never taking > a > > night off — because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts > did > > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would not > be > > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many parents > > are led to expect.> > > > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > > need to increase support for the rising number of families > > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket expenses > > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new > diagnoses > > of autism in this country every day, support services are already > > too stretched to meet the need.> > > > But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it > is > > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read the > > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and > other > > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a > variety > > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all your > > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > > > And who wouldn't do almost anything — mortgage a home, abandon a > > career or move to be closer to doctors or schools — to enable an > > autistic child to lead a normal life? > > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents > who > > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered child > > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't happen; > > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent > weeks > > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every parent > of > > a child on the autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in the > > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I fear > > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a half-> > million autistic children feeling like failures.> > > > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for autistic > > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering a > > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but > they > > do get better. > > > > And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from the > > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember thinking > > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > > teaching him language — the flashcards, the drills, the > repetitions. > > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we > don't > > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> > free day.> > > > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd fixations, > > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to > enjoy > > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who will > > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > > frustrated. To aim for full recovery — for the person your child > > might have been without autism — is to enter a dangerous emotional > > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > > determination and limited progress may have been lethal.> >>

[Guest guest]

The Times won't.

Their history is sordid on this issue.

They are agenda driven universal healthcare mandate idealogues.

They published an article in June of last year which posed the proponents of the mercury/autism link as emotional/crazy. In that same article they made out a doctor (I believe it was Cave) who was one of the chelation proponents to be a Jesus freak.

When Olmsted was looking into the Amish population and the absence of autism in that population, the Times published that ridiculous story on the immunocompromised Amish girl who got polio in a Minnesota hospital from someone who had the oral polio vaccine and gave polio to several other Amish children- presumably because they weren't vaccinated.

To date their coverage has been hostile, inaccurate and agenda driven.

The lastest fiasco is no exception.

They rightly perceive that the government mandated mercury poisoning of a generation of children in the 1990's sets back their universal healthcare agenda.

We should also perceive that bias.

Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

Hi,Ms. McGovern writes "children do get better", but without saying whyor how kids they get better. She objects to the words like "recovery"or "cured". Semantics? OK, Autism Research Institute has 1000 kidsand families ready to talk to the media who got better (scratchrecovered) by detox, and www.findingthewords.org follows 8 children onthe road to getting better (scratch recovery).One central point of the Op-Ed is sadly true: most of us knowchildren who were so severely damaged by the effects of mercury atcritical stages of development that "full recovery" for them may beout of reach. However, if adjusting the goal for the severe kids fromrecovery to improvement leads those parents to begin treating theirkids for mercury poisoning, then please, adjust the goal.For those who read the article online, one reason to be angry with theTimes is the layout of the op-ed. The hard copy has a highlightedquestion in the middle of the text, in large font for those skimming, "Have three deaths exposed the false hope of recovery?" Nasty.If the Times wants to do some exposing, just printwww.putchildrenfirst.org verbatim.> > >> > > Autism's Parent Trap > > > > > > By CAMMIE McGOVERN > > > Published: June 5, 2006 > > > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> > > _r=1 & oref=slogin> > > > > > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly > > similar > > > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > > > > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > > > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River > > Humber, > > > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > > > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, > was > > > trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland > hospital > > > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, > accused > > of > > > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > > > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the > police > > > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old > daughter, > > > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > > > > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the > parents > > > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," > Alison > > > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > > > jump "an act of love." > > > > > > A friend of Dr. McCarron's — a fellow member of her local autism-> > > support group — told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > > > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > > > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. > > She > > > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > > > > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who > remembers, > > > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never > taking > > a > > > night off — because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > > > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > > > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts > > did > > > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would > not > > be > > > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many > parents > > > are led to expect.> > > > > > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > > > need to increase support for the rising number of families > > > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > > > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket > expenses > > > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new > > diagnoses > > > of autism in this country every day, support services are > already > > > too stretched to meet the need.> > > > > > But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it > > is > > > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > > > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > > > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read > the > > > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and > > other > > > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a > > variety > > > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all > your > > > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > > > > > And who wouldn't do almost anything — mortgage a home, abandon a > > > career or move to be closer to doctors or schools — to enable an > > > autistic child to lead a normal life? > > > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents > > who > > > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > > > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered > child > > > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't > happen; > > > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > > > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > > > > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent > > weeks > > > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every > parent > > of > > > a child on the autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > > > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > > > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in > the > > > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I > fear > > > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a > half-> > > million autistic children feeling like failures.> > > > > > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for > autistic > > > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering > a > > > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but > > they > > > do get better. > > > > > > And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from > the > > > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > > > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > > > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember > thinking > > > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > > > teaching him language — the flashcards, the drills, the > > repetitions. > > > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we > > don't > > > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > > > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > > > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> > > free day.> > > > > > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > > > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd > fixations, > > > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > > > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to > > enjoy > > > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who > will > > > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > > > frustrated. To aim for full recovery — for the person your child > > > might have been without autism — is to enter a dangerous > emotional > > > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > > > determination and limited progress may have been lethal.> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

They will not print what needs to be said.

Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

There's always more to it isn't there? The more I read all of your insights and gain knowledge from you, the more pissed I get! Has anyone here ever written an Opt-Ed for the Times? Or won't they print what needs to be said.I do see Carolyn's point as well as I do run an ASA chapter and receive calls from parents where I have to offer support. I always point them to the recovery sites and the studies on that, and then I tell them in the meantime what they can do to make life a little easier... I also tell the new parents to stay mad as hell, never become complacent, never totally accept it, as that will drive them to git 'er done!They rightly perceive that the government mandated mercury poisoning of a generation of children in the 1990's sets back their universal healthcare agenda. We should also perceive that bias. > > > >> > > > Autism's Parent Trap > > > > > > > > By CAMMIE McGOVERN > > > > Published: June 5, 2006 > > > > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> > > > _r=1 & oref=slogin> > > > > > > > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly > > > similar > > > > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > > > > > > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > > > > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River > > > Humber, > > > > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > > > > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, > > was > > > > trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland > > hospital > > > > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, > > accused > > > of > > > > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > > > > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the > > police > > > > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old > > daughter, > > > > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > > > > > > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the > > parents > > > > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," > > Alison > > > > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > > > > jump "an act of love." > > > > > > > > A friend of Dr. McCarron's - a fellow member of her local autism-> > > > support group - told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > > > > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > > > > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. > > > She > > > > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > > > > > > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who > > remembers, > > > > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never > > taking > > > a > > > > night off - because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > > > > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > > > > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts > > > did > > > > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would > > not > > > be > > > > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many > > parents > > > > are led to expect.> > > > > > > > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > > > > need to increase support for the rising number of families > > > > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > > > > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket > > expenses > > > > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new > > > diagnoses > > > > of autism in this country every day, support services are > > already > > > > too stretched to meet the need.> > > > > > > > But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it > > > is > > > > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > > > > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > > > > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read > > the > > > > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and > > > other > > > > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a > > > variety > > > > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all > > your > > > > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > > > > > > > And who wouldn't do almost anything - mortgage a home, abandon a > > > > career or move to be closer to doctors or schools - to enable an > > > > autistic child to lead a normal life? > > > > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents > > > who > > > > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > > > > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered > > child > > > > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't > > happen; > > > > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > > > > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > > > > > > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent > > > weeks > > > > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every > > parent > > > of > > > > a child on the autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > > > > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > > > > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in > > the > > > > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I > > fear > > > > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a > > half-> > > > million autistic children feeling like failures.> > > > > > > > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for > > autistic > > > > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering > > a > > > > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but > > > they > > > > do get better. > > > > > > > > And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from > > the > > > > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > > > > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > > > > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember > > thinking > > > > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > > > > teaching him language - the flashcards, the drills, the > > > repetitions. > > > > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we > > > don't > > > > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > > > > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > > > > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> > > > free day.> > > > > > > > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > > > > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd > > fixations, > > > > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > > > > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to > > > enjoy > > > > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who > > will > > > > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > > > > frustrated. To aim for full recovery - for the person your child > > > > might have been without autism - is to enter a dangerous > > emotional > > > > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > > > > determination and limited progress may have been lethal.> > > >> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

The NYTimes does not accept op-eds from anyone.-nor do any of the newspapers. You can be a writer for the Times(like DK), or a columnist, or somebody well known who writes books etc like RFK,Jr. The best you can do is get a letter to the editor printed.H <stratpat@...> wrote: They will not print what needs to be said. Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap There's always more to it isn't there? The more I read all of your insights and gain knowledge from you, the more pissed I get! Has anyone here ever written an Opt-Ed for the Times? Or won't they print what needs to be said.I do see Carolyn's point as well as I do run an ASA chapter and receive calls from parents where I have to offer support. I always point them to the recovery sites and the studies on that, and then I tell them in

the meantime what they can do to make life a little easier... I also tell the new parents to stay mad as hell, never become complacent, never totally accept it, as that will drive them to git 'er done!They rightly perceive that the government mandated mercury poisoning of a generation of children in the 1990's sets back their universal healthcare agenda. We should also perceive that bias. > > > >> > > > Autism's Parent Trap > > > > > > > > By

CAMMIE McGOVERN > > > > Published: June 5, 2006 > > > > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> > > > _r=1 & oref=slogin> > > > > > > > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly > > > similar > > > > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > > > > > > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > > > > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River > > > Humber, > > > > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > > > > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, > > was > > > > trapped inside

a burning apartment. He died in a Portland > > hospital > > > > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, > > accused > > > of > > > > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > > > > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the > > police > > > > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old > > daughter, > > > > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > > > > > > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the > > parents > > > > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," > > Alison > > > > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > > > > jump "an act of love." > > > > > > > > A

friend of Dr. McCarron's - a fellow member of her local autism-> > > > support group - told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > > > > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > > > > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. > > > She > > > > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > > > > > > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who > > remembers, > > > > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never > > taking > > > a > > > > night off - because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > > > > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > > > > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts > > > did

> > > > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would > > not > > > be > > > > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many > > parents > > > > are led to expect.> > > > > > > > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > > > > need to increase support for the rising number of families > > > > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > > > > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket > > expenses > > > > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new > > > diagnoses > > > > of autism in this country every day, support services are > > already > > > > too stretched to meet the need.> > > > > > >

> But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it > > > is > > > > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > > > > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > > > > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read > > the > > > > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and > > > other > > > > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a > > > variety > > > > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all > > your > > > > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > > > > > > > And who wouldn't do almost anything - mortgage a home, abandon a > > > > career or move to be closer

to doctors or schools - to enable an > > > > autistic child to lead a normal life? > > > > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents > > > who > > > > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > > > > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered > > child > > > > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't > > happen; > > > > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > > > > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > > > > > > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent > > > weeks > > > > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every > > parent > > > of > > > > a child on the

autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > > > > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > > > > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in > > the > > > > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I > > fear > > > > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a > > half-> > > > million autistic children feeling like failures.> > > > > > > > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for > > autistic > > > > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering > > a > > > > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but > > > they > > > > do get better. > > > > > > > > And

better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from > > the > > > > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > > > > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > > > > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember > > thinking > > > > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > > > > teaching him language - the flashcards, the drills, the > > > repetitions. > > > > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we > > > don't > > > > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > > > > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > > > > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> > > >

free day.> > > > > > > > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > > > > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd > > fixations, > > > > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > > > > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to > > > enjoy > > > > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who > > will > > > > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > > > > frustrated. To aim for full recovery - for the person your child > > > > might have been without autism - is to enter a dangerous > > emotional > > > > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > > > > determination and limited progress

may have been lethal.> > > >> > >> >>

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[Guest guest]

True- but I don't believe that they would publish an op-ed piece on this issue as we understand it- from anyone.

Why is it that Ms. McGovern gets her say- as an Op-Ed piece??

I don't think the Times has been fair to this issue (Columbia School of Journalism agrees)- nor do I believe that that will change until the Times is forced to change because of even worse collapsing credibility concerns (from where they are now).

There is just too much at stake for them- and their agenda driven political position is hostile to the reality of what was done.

At least NBC/MSNBC (because of the s) has opened up.

Re: NYT OP-ED, Autism's Parent Trap

There's always more to it isn't there? The more I read all of your insights and gain knowledge from you, the more pissed I get! Has anyone here ever written an Opt-Ed for the Times? Or won't they print what needs to be said.I do see Carolyn's point as well as I do run an ASA chapter and receive calls from parents where I have to offer support. I always point them to the recovery sites and the studies on that, and then I tell them in the meantime what they can do to make life a little easier... I also tell the new parents to stay mad as hell, never become complacent, never totally accept it, as that will drive them to git 'er done!They rightly perceive that the government mandated mercury poisoning of a generation of children in the 1990's sets back their universal healthcare agenda. We should also perceive that bias. > > > >> > > > Autism's Parent Trap > > > > > > > > By CAMMIE McGOVERN > > > > Published: June 5, 2006 > > > > http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/05/opinion/05mcgovern.html?> > > > _r=1 & oref=slogin> > > > > > > > IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly > > > similar > > > > plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children. > > > > > > > > On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old > > > > son, , fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River > > > Humber, > > > > in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's > > > > kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., DeGroot, 19, > > was > > > > trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland > > hospital > > > > five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, > > accused > > > of > > > > locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May > > > > Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. McCarron admitted to the > > police > > > > that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old > > daughter, > > > > , with a plastic garbage bag. > > > > > > > > Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the > > parents > > > > involved. " was the focus and the purpose of her life," > > Alison > > > > Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge > > > > jump "an act of love." > > > > > > > > A friend of Dr. McCarron's - a fellow member of her local autism-> > > > support group - told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, > > > > Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to . "She > > > > never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. > > > She > > > > was trying so hard, pursuing every lead." > > > > > > > > Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who > > remembers, > > > > as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never > > taking > > > a > > > > night off - because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself > > > > nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been > > > > trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts > > > did > > > > not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would > > not > > > be > > > > surprising, because dramatic improvement is what too many > > parents > > > > are led to expect.> > > > > > > > Clearly there is a message in the recent deaths about the urgent > > > > need to increase support for the rising number of families > > > > struggling with autism. Having an autistic child is estimated to > > > > cost a family $10,000 to $50,000 a year in out-of-pocket > > expenses > > > > for medical treatment, therapy and education. With 50 new > > > diagnoses > > > > of autism in this country every day, support services are > > already > > > > too stretched to meet the need.> > > > > > > > But as much as I'd like to fault government policy, I suspect it > > > is > > > > not entirely to blame. There's another issue that hits closer to > > > > home and is harder for most parents of autistic children to be > > > > candid about. When your child is initially diagnosed, you read > > the > > > > early bibles of hope: "Let Me Hear Your Voice," "Son-Rise" and > > > other > > > > chronicles of total recovery from autism. Hope comes from a > > > variety > > > > of treatments, but the message is the same: If you commit all > > your > > > > time, your money, your family's life, recovery is possible. > > > > > > > > And who wouldn't do almost anything - mortgage a home, abandon a > > > > career or move to be closer to doctors or schools - to enable an > > > > autistic child to lead a normal life? > > > > Now, as the mother of a 10-year-old, I will say what no parents > > > who > > > > have just discovered their child is autistic want to hear, but > > > > should, at least from one person: I've never met a recovered > > child > > > > outside the pages of those old books. Not that it doesn't > > happen; > > > > I'm sure it does. But it's extraordinarily rare and it doesn't > > > > happen the way we once were led to believe. > > > > > > > > According to her friend, Dr. McCarron was in despair in recent > > > weeks > > > > because 's language had regressed markedly. Every > > parent > > > of > > > > a child on the autism spectrum knows this feeling: I've done > > > > everything possible; why isn't he better? The answer is simple: > > > > Because this is the way autism works. There are roadblocks in > > the > > > > brain, mysterious and unmovable. In mythologizing recovery, I > > fear > > > > we've set an impossibly high bar that's left the parents of a > > half-> > > > million autistic children feeling like failures.> > > > > > > > I don't mean to sound pessimistic about the prospects for > > autistic > > > > children. On the contrary, I see greater optimism in delivering > > a > > > > more realistic message to families: Children are not cured, but > > > they > > > > do get better. > > > > > > > > And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from > > the > > > > toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for > > > > drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and > > > > repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember > > thinking > > > > maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were > > > > teaching him language - the flashcards, the drills, the > > > repetitions. > > > > Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we > > > don't > > > > laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other > > > > things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful > > > > play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-> > > > free day.> > > > > > > > Parents working toward these goals will one day be surprised and > > > > delighted by their children's funny new obsessions, odd > > fixations, > > > > and tentative but extraordinary connections with other children. > > > > Being more realistic from the start might make it possible to > > > enjoy > > > > the journey and to see it for what it is: helping a child who > > will > > > > always function differently to communicate better and feel less > > > > frustrated. To aim for full recovery - for the person your child > > > > might have been without autism - is to enter a dangerous > > emotional > > > > landscape. For three children, the disconnect between parental > > > > determination and limited progress may have been lethal.> > > >> > >> >>

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