Guest guest Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 HOME REMEDIES AND RULES OF LIFE: 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3.Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus, reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7.Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache. 8. Sometimes, We Just Need To Remember What The Rules Of Life Really Are... You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape, if it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape. 9. The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, " I apologize, " and " You are right. " 10. Remember; everyone seems normal until you get to know them! 11. Never pass-up an opportunity to go potty... 12. If you woke breathing, Congratulations! You get another chance. 13. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. Take care Bye for now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.