Guest guest Posted August 31, 2001 Report Share Posted August 31, 2001 In a message dated 8/31/01 2:18:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time, vivwasruth2b4@... writes: << Ditto to this percieved yelling. >> I've seen this with too. It seems that he picks up on the slightest tone change in my voice and perceives that as " yelling. " He also says, " Stop yelling at me " when I try talking to him about issues such as SCHOOL. I know I'm not being judgmental or critical...just trying to discuss things that come up like " Did you study for your test tomorrow " or " Don't forget to take a shower.....which he has now gone to the other extreme about and isn't inclined to take one. It is reassuring to know that others are experiencing this since I didn't know what to make of it. I'm wondering though, what causes them to react this way and whether there is a way to work on changing the perception that they are being yelled at. Until I read all your posts, I thought it was unique to and wasn't sure if it was connected to his OCD. It does make for a stressful day when I feel that anything I may say will be thought of as " yelling " at him. I'm hoping we can talk to his therapist about this and maybe try some ERP with it if we can nail down what the obsession/compulsion link is. Once again this list has been a real source of information and support for me and I'm so glad to be a part of it! /NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2001 Report Share Posted August 31, 2001 In a message dated 8/31/01 11:49:22 AM Eastern Daylight Time, larkspurmr@... writes: I know I'm not being judgmental or critical...just trying to discuss things that come up like "Did you study for your test tomorrow" or "Don't forget to take a shower.....which he has now gone to the other extreme about and isn't inclined to take one. It is reassuring to know that others are experiencing this since I didn't know what to make of it. I'm wondering though, what causes them to react this way and whether there is a way to work on changing the perception that they are being yelled at. Until I read all your posts, I thought it was unique to and wasn't sure if it was connected to his OCD. I think it has something to do with feeling *controlled.* I remind my son, too-- only to be told 'You're Yelling At Me.' This came up in therapy this week, and 's therapist told me to direct all of my talking to my Cabbage Patch Doll. (LOL!!!) At first, I was insulted (I mean-- I'm a little OLD for that and I've never owned one, anyway). Then, I got her point. In other words, this OCD has got such a grip on them, they aren't normal kids with normal reactions. The slightest HINT of feeling *controlled* and off they go, throwing things at you and telling you you're yelling at them or you're 'mad' at them. I guess that this is further proof that they are controlled by other forces WITHIN them-- and can't take too much outside pressure from Mom, Dad or anyone. My own son (10) is controlled by FEAR: fear of someone being 'mad' at them because they'll kill them (?), or fear of the pool, fear of poisoning, fear of germs, fear of weather and storms, fear of EYES (and people looking at him), fear of school and WORK in general due to fear of failure and fear of mistakes, fear of riding his bike around the block (a new one) or going outside because someone might cast an evil spell on him, fear of being left alone, and fear of mom talking to that old man with a cane in the grocery check-out line because 'you love HIM more than me' and because 'you'll run off with him and never come back!' geeez So, yeah.... they have ALOT on their minds... and when you say 'Don't forget to brush' or any ordinary 'parenting thing' that I used to TAKE FOR GRANTED with my older sons--- these OCD kids freak out. It has truly been the most frustrating thing I've ever encountered in my entire life. I can't have a simple 'normal' conversation with my own child. Thank God for THERAPISTS!!! Joni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2001 Report Share Posted September 1, 2001 hi all, I am glad this topic generated so much conversation, It seems that a lot of us thought this was our own child. It is interesting h ow many encounter the same frustration. Right now we are in between therapists (and it shows). Hopefully they will get us a new one within the week. This will be my first question on how to deal with the "you yelled at me " topic. It is very frustrating to feel like you are on eggshells, almost being manipulated by the OCD as well. O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2001 Report Share Posted September 3, 2001 In a message dated 9/3/01 7:23:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time, AnneGinCT@... writes: His perception is often off "everybody calls me fat" or "everyone made fun of me because..." when it was probably just one kid with a big mouth. Anne-- This is !!! He thinks "everyone" is making fun of him, picking on him, calling him fat, stupid, whatever.... It really makes me think he's extremely PARANOID at times... and I've fell for it many times too, because he's so convincing and 'traumatized' by all these 'bullies' in his life (where there are none). Ugh. Joni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2001 Report Share Posted September 3, 2001 You can add Kellen to the list of hyper-sensitive kids who perceive the slightest lack of upbeat enthusiasm or the gentlest suggestion as " yelling. " The few times I have yelled--not at her, just in her presence--she cries and says I'm scaring her. I too have heard stories from her of the mean kids and the teacher yelling only to find out from other kids or parents present that it never happened. I haven't pursued this but the audiologist at Kel's school has said she fits the profile of children with an auditory processing deficit--yet another brain-based problem. I've always put it down to her ultra-sensitive senses of hearing, touch, etc. FWIW she also began pulling the cushions off the couch shortly after OCD onset and continues this. These days I ask that she replace them though when she's " done. " Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- From: " Vivian Stembridge " <vivwasruth2b4@...> > Ditto to this percieved yelling. I thought he meant > the tone of my voice, but even if I lower AND have a > I'm not angry tone, I have been accused of yelling. A > defense our son has resorted to using at times is, > telling me to " be quiet " , or state, " I'm not listening > to you " , or humming so he can't hear my voice. He will > also slam doors to get away from my voice. All these > behaviors are unacceptable, but I have learned when he > is this stressed to BACK OFF. It is so hard for > communication! But when he is " this way " it only makes > matters worse to try and continue. A cool down period > is needed. > --- Judy Lovchik <jlovchik@...> wrote: > > I used to hear this all the time from my son. I > > virtually never yelled at him. But if I disagreed > > or criticized his behavior however gently, he said I > > yelled at him and would become hysterical. Drove me > > crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2001 Report Share Posted September 4, 2001 I'm having Dan tested for auditory processing difficulties--I know he has problems in this area in addition to perceiving us "yelling." Judy Re: you yelled at me You can add Kellen to the list of hyper-sensitive kids who perceive theslightest lack of upbeat enthusiasm or the gentlest suggestion as "yelling."The few times I have yelled--not at her, just in her presence--she cries andsays I'm scaring her. I too have heard stories from her of the mean kidsand the teacher yelling only to find out from other kids or parents presentthat it never happened. I haven't pursued this but the audiologist at Kel'sschool has said she fits the profile of children with an auditoryprocessing deficit--yet another brain-based problem. I've always put itdown to her ultra-sensitive senses of hearing, touch, etc. FWIW she alsobegan pulling the cushions off the couch shortly after OCD onset andcontinues this. These days I ask that she replace them though when she's"done."Kathy R. in Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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