Need Some Help

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone. Its been quite a while since I've posted --- but I've

been reading so many of your posts, and theyre all so helpful. So,

before I get into my crap, I just want to thank you --- all of you --

- for all of your support.

Its funny that I use the term support, because, ironically, thats

whats leading me to write this post. This is my 5th week on the BFL

program. I've been following it meticulously, trying really really

hard (from a workout and an eating perspective,) and have dedicated

almost every minute of every day to getting this right. I started

the diet when I was on winter break, and now I need to plan every

day, minute by minute, just so I can manage to fit in 6 meals and

working out every day into a very busy college schedule.

Here's the thing. I cant really pinpoint it, exactly, but...I'm

just losing hope. In the first two weeks, I lost 5 lbs. Then I

stayed the same for the second two weeks. And I guess thats okay,

(I wasnt supposed to lose weight in the first place -- only maintain

and gain muscle.) The thing thats really bothering me now, is that

I dont feel that great. Not necissarily, BAD, you know? But in the

beginning, I had this untapped energy...and I was really excited

about what I was doing and the positive changes I was making for

myself. I looked forward to each day as a challenge, you know? One

that I knew that I could overcome. I felt really good about

myself. But now, as I reach the middle of my 5th week, I have none

of that excitement. I feel tired, dissappointed, and just...low. I

used to have this feeling in the beginning, every monday morning,

because I felt bad about what I ate on my free day the day before.

But now it seems like this feeling of guilt and dissapointment stays

with me every day of the week. Just a few hours ago, for the first

time in 30 days, I forgot to eat a meal. I mean, I fit it in, but I

ate it like 15 minutes late. Not a big deal, i know...but I havent

let that happen in 30 days. I feel like its a sign of my becoming

more and more unaware. And I think the unawareness stems from the

fact that I dont have enough faith in the diet. I feel like I'm

gonna gain weight, and that petrifies me.

All in all --- I think I just need some words of encouragement.

Have any of you guys ever felt this way? I mean, I realize that

this isnt such a big deal...but in a way, it is. Cuz this diet

involves so much work and planning and dedication --- and if your

heart isnt in it (and I feel like I'm getting to that point,) its 10

times as hard to keep up with all of it. I really need some help.

I appreciate all of you for reading, and I hope everyone is doing

well :-D

~~~Aliza~~~