Just The Way He Is

[Guest guest]

My husband, , said something the other day that I had been

thinking for a long time, but wasn't brave enough to say (leave it to

him to find that bravery!). Anyway, he said, " Ya know, with all of

Timmy's problems, I love him so much just the way he is. Part of me

never wants him to change. "

I love that man so much!

I don't know why Timmy is the way he is. I don't know if it's

Thermosal or genetics or a rotten batch of apple sauce I fed him one

day. All I know is that he's autistic and... he's perfect.

's comment hit home to me in very deep and very frustrating

levels. The first part of that is that I agree with him (if Timmy

were any different, he wouldn't be Timmy). Second is that I feel very

greedy in feeling/thinking that way. What about TIMMY'S life? What

about HIS future?

Please understand that we're OLD parents. I'm 45, Rog is 52. Our two

young sons are adopted. We don't have the stamina and, in conjuction

with that, the endurance associated with that, that younger parents

have. What we do have (in abundance) is patience tempered with wisdom

(and, of course lots of love that obviously younger parents have as

well).

Yes, Timmy is a lot of work. Yes, because of his autism, I keep very

busy and don't get to do a lot of the things that " normal " people get

to do. But he is so precious and so honest in his disorder. He just

simply is who he is.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, or, if it does, how it might

be received by others on this list. What I do know is that it's

honest and I just needed to vent that from my brain.

I hope you all understand.

Hugs!

Kat