Just venting

[Guest guest]

Hi all!

I just wanted to vent about a conversation that has been ongoing with

my mother. I have recently talked with her about both of my children

and the options I am looking into. (casting, bracing, etc.) She has

always shown concern in the amount of time I spend researching and

such about scoliosis. (Which by the way is obviously not an every day

thing considering its been almost two months since Ive even looked at

the group site!) Anyway, last week she said that she feels I " should

just calm down and do whatever the doctor says is best for my

children. Im not the doctor he is and he has been through years of

education and training to gain the knowledge that he has. Besides

your children are sooo young and theyre curves are so small, why deal

with it now? " When I mentioned casting or bracing now verses when

they are teens she says that " these are the formitable years (my kids

are 9 and 2) and it would be better to wait until they are 15 or so

when they can decide on their own whether or not to cast or brace. " I

just about lost it.... She has a neighbor with scoliosis who is

SEVERE and didnt get any brace or treatment until he was seriously

disfigured and had to have a rod in his back that has broke several

times. When I brought that up and how I didnt want that for my

children and if I act now I can prevent that from ever happening, she

just said " well... I just think you are a little too paranoid and you

just need to let the doctors deal with it. They know what they are

doing. " I hung up the phone. That was last week. Today I talked to

her and she asked what I was doing. When I said I was fixing photos

for my group she said " dont take this the wrong way, I always try to

be very honest with you, but I think your spending WAY too much time

over this. You need to get of the computer and spend some time with

your children while they are with you. " (my son is spendinga day out

with his daddy and my daughter is helping me fold clothes) She went

on to say that she is afraid that this may turn into Munchausen By

Proxy. When I asked her what it was she suggested I spend a little

time researching it. Heres a breif summary of what it is for those

like me: FACTITIOUS DISORDER, (of which MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME is a sub-

type), (also called " Adult Munchausen " , and " Adult Factitious

Disorder " ) is a formal, DSM-IV mental health diagnosis in which

people deliberately exaggerate and/or fabricate and/or induce

physical and/or psychological-behavioral-mental health problems in

themselves. The primary purpose of this behavior is to gain some form

of internal gratification, such as attention, for themselves.

MUNCHAUSEN BY PROXY (MBP) (also called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy,

Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, and Factitious Disorder by Proxy) is a

label for a pattern of behavior in which caretakers deliberately

exaggerate and/or fabricate and/or induce physical and/or

psychological-behavioral-mental health problems in others.

This pattern of behavior constitutes a separate kind of maltreatment

(abuse/neglect) that manifests as physical abuse, sexual abuse,

emotional abuse, neglect, or a combination. The primary purpose of

this behavior is to gain some form of internal gratification, such as

attention, for the perpetrator.

*@#!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!! Like Im just imagining that my

children have this condition and Im just going from doctor to doctor

until they will see how serious it truly is and treat it the way I

want them to. It makes me SICK!! I DO realize that my children have

VERY mild cases. I know that there is a STRONG chance that they will

NEVER have to go through surgery or serious treatment for it. I am

VERY optomistic that Nate wont ever have to wear a brace or a cast. I

am also fairly certain that my daughter WILL have to wear a brace and

has a seriously positive outlook. SO FAR! What I am not willing to do

is sit back and watch my children become seriously deformed and

disfigured and ignorantly do NOTHING!!! What is soo wrong about

learning and preparing for EVERY SENARIO??? Just because I know what

to do and have a plan for worst case does not me that I am

anticipating it or that I am in ANY WAY WISHING IT UPON MY

CHILDREN!!!! I have seen the photos of the beautiful little people we

have on this site! I have heard first hand what some of you strong

mothers and fathers have had to endure with your angels!! If there is

anyway that I can prevent that NOW before it gets to that point then

WHY SHOULDNT I?? Why should I be labeled in such an horrible way just

because I wish to be knowledgable and prepared for any obsticle that

my prevent my children from growing into beautiful, happy, and

HEALTHY adults???????

Okay Im done. I think I just need to not talk to my mother about

this.

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel better now!