Re: Leaving Monday

[Guest guest]

,

Facing any challenge can be scary, just keep telling yourself that those feelings won't be forever. You'll get help for yourself and feel so much better than you have in a long time. I'm very proud of you for being so brave. We are all behind you, and cheering you on all the way!!!

Hugs,

Leaving Monday

My cousin talked me into going into a in-patient program for my eating and other problems...I lost another pound..and my doctor told me he would force me to go into a program soon if I lost anymore....I'm over my ideal weight but he wants me to gain some weight back....he's nuts.......I'll be leaving Monday....I'm scared I guess...I have never really been away from family at all...if I am away from home usually I'm with a family member and so I don't get so scared...but now it will just be me...alone.....but I do know I need this kinda of help....I've had a rough week....me and my dad had a fight about some things...and he hit me...for the third time in the past 8 months....he apologized for the first two times but this time he didn't...I don't know if I would have accepted an apology but he could have at least acknowledged that what he did was very wrongI learned some things ....about myself...that I really don't want to know...I was raped by my mom's bad boyfriend..I already knew that...he took my virginity....but I had sex once with Gregg, my first and only boyfriend.....he was abusive and stuff...and I went over things with my therapist recently and she thinks he raped me too....which would mean that I was raped twice and I think it's my fault....anyways...I told my cousin and then my parents about all this....my dad didn't believe me and that's when we had a discussion(fight)...and he said he didn't believe me and then we fought and yelled and he hit meI'm so scared to go to the program....just scared> I haven't really posted in the past week or so....not because I don't > have any news but I've been busy....I was in the hospital for a few > days....I guess my eating problem is a big deal...I was sick last > Wednesday and didn't eat and on Thursday I passed out...my mom made > me go to the hospital and my doctor gave me an IV and kept me in the > hospital until Sunday...while I was there I had to attend an eating > disorder group...not fun at all............but I've come a long > way...I can almost admit to myself that I have a serious > problem....my doctor made a chart of my weight and stuff...I lost 17 > pounds in less than two weeks....that's not good...he said if I was > going to lost weight it should be a few pounds every few weeks...but > he wants me to not lose anymore...he would probably make me go back > in the hospital or to a program if I lost much more...I'm not skinny > skinny or anything ....I'm actually over my ideal weight but not > much.....my doctor wants me to be healthy and he thinks if I lost > much more weight then I won't be healthy because of my eating > habits.......I have weird eating issues ...I know this....but it > mainly centers on the fact that I hate my body......but when I was > younger I ate a lot and people always said 'oh you'll get fat'...I > didn't care....then when my dad left I thought 'if I was perfect he > would stay'...'if I were skinny he would stay'......my mom's > first 'bad' boyfriend sorta liked my body(curvy...developed > early)....he commented about it and I started to want to change my > appearance and so I wouldn't eat...or I'd throw up food....it helped > a little....my mom got the second 'bad' boyfriend and he was the one > who abused me....I blamed myself....I blamed my body....I blamed his > behavior on everything but him.....I thought if I was skinny and less > curvy then he wouldn't do the things he did....I'm beginning to > understand that I'm wrong in that thinking> > I am a little scared though right now....my mom is slowly getting > better...she finished her radiation treatments and just got an > injection of stuff the other day.....it's rough...my mom lost her > house a short while ago and is now moving to an apt.....which she > wants me to move in with her...but I'm still in a weird place in my > mind about things....I like living at my aunt's...but with college > starting in the fall it would be difficult to get to school from my > aunt's....but then some people keep saying that my mom uses me too > much...that I do too much for everyone....that I should be almost > selfish...that I should take care of myself first...and then help > others second....that's not how I do things....but I guess I need to > start being selfish..........anyways....I'm a little scared...my > doctor wants to run some tests....because my mom was young when she > got breast cancer and now she has cancer again...bone mets....I > forget what it's called....my doctor just wants to check things I > guess....but I'm young...I can't have cancer...I keep telling myself > that....but my doctor assured me that it's just a precaution......but > my grandma died of cancer....my uncle died sortof from cancer(he was > mugged by a 'friend' and was in the hospital and they had found > cancer)...they couldn't treat him......my great grandma just > died....but she wasn't sick ..she was just getting old...she was > almost 92 .......I guess I'm just freaked out about tests and > stuff....I don't want the doctor to tell me that I have cancer....I > know that young people get cancer too....but I'm scared.....although > it's weird...I've been more scared for my mom than I seem to be for > myself> > I rambled....but I just needed to I guess> ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMessage Archives-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Chats at /chatBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./links Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~When nothing is sure, everything is possible.--- Margaret Drabble~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

That is great! You will feel so much better once you get the help that you need.I am proud of you for agreeing to go.

Nothing to be afraid of...they are there to HELP you! )

-- Leaving Monday

My cousin talked me into going into a in-patient program for my

eating and other problems...I lost another pound..and my doctor told

me he would force me to go into a program soon if I lost

anymore....I'm over my ideal weight but he wants me to gain some

weight back....he's nuts.......I'll be leaving Monday....I'm scared I

guess...I have never really been away from family at all...if I am

away from home usually I'm with a family member and so I don't get so

scared...but now it will just be me...alone.....but I do know I need

this kinda of help....

I've had a rough week....me and my dad had a fight about some

things...and he hit me...for the third time in the past 8

months....he apologized for the first two times but this time he

didn't...I don't know if I would have accepted an apology but he

could have at least acknowledged that what he did was very wrong

I learned some things ....about myself...that I really don't want to

know...I was raped by my mom's bad boyfriend..I already knew

that...he took my virginity....but I had sex once with Gregg, my

first and only boyfriend.....he was abusive and stuff...and I went

over things with my therapist recently and she thinks he raped me

too....which would mean that I was raped twice and I think it's my

fault....anyways...I told my cousin and then my parents about all

this....my dad didn't believe me and that's when we had a discussion

(fight)...and he said he didn't believe me and then we fought and

yelled and he hit me

I'm so scared to go to the program....just scared

> I haven't really posted in the past week or so....not because I

don't

> have any news but I've been busy....I was in the hospital for a few

> days....I guess my eating problem is a big deal...I was sick last

> Wednesday and didn't eat and on Thursday I passed out...my mom made

> me go to the hospital and my doctor gave me an IV and kept me in

the

> hospital until Sunday...while I was there I had to attend an eating

> disorder group...not fun at all............but I've come a long

> way...I can almost admit to myself that I have a serious

> problem....my doctor made a chart of my weight and stuff...I lost

17

> pounds in less than two weeks....that's not good...he said if I was

> going to lost weight it should be a few pounds every few

weeks...but

> he wants me to not lose anymore...he would probably make me go back

> in the hospital or to a program if I lost much more...I'm not

skinny

> skinny or anything ....I'm actually over my ideal weight but not

> much.....my doctor wants me to be healthy and he thinks if I lost

> much more weight then I won't be healthy because of my eating

> habits.......I have weird eating issues ...I know this....but it

> mainly centers on the fact that I hate my body......but when I was

> younger I ate a lot and people always said 'oh you'll get fat'...I

> didn't care....then when my dad left I thought 'if I was perfect he

> would stay'...'if I were skinny he would stay'......my mom's

> first 'bad' boyfriend sorta liked my body(curvy...developed

> early)....he commented about it and I started to want to change my

> appearance and so I wouldn't eat...or I'd throw up food....it

helped

> a little....my mom got the second 'bad' boyfriend and he was the

one

> who abused me....I blamed myself....I blamed my body....I blamed

his

> behavior on everything but him.....I thought if I was skinny and

less

> curvy then he wouldn't do the things he did....I'm beginning to

> understand that I'm wrong in that thinking

>

> I am a little scared though right now....my mom is slowly getting

> better...she finished her radiation treatments and just got an

> injection of stuff the other day.....it's rough...my mom lost her

> house a short while ago and is now moving to an apt.....which she

> wants me to move in with her...but I'm still in a weird place in my

> mind about things....I like living at my aunt's...but with college

> starting in the fall it would be difficult to get to school from my

> aunt's....but then some people keep saying that my mom uses me too

> much...that I do too much for everyone....that I should be almost

> selfish...that I should take care of myself first...and then help

> others second....that's not how I do things....but I guess I need

to

> start being selfish..........anyways....I'm a little scared...my

> doctor wants to run some tests....because my mom was young when she

> got breast cancer and now she has cancer again...bone mets....I

> forget what it's called....my doctor just wants to check things I

> guess....but I'm young...I can't have cancer...I keep telling

myself

> that....but my doctor assured me that it's just a

precaution......but

> my grandma died of cancer....my uncle died sortof from cancer(he

was

> mugged by a 'friend' and was in the hospital and they had found

> cancer)...they couldn't treat him......my great grandma just

> died....but she wasn't sick ..she was just getting old...she was

> almost 92 .......I guess I'm just freaked out about tests and

> stuff....I don't want the doctor to tell me that I have cancer....I

> know that young people get cancer too....but I'm

scared.....although

> it's weird...I've been more scared for my mom than I seem to be for

> myself

>

> I rambled....but I just needed to I guess

>

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

The Being Sick Community

Message Archives-/messages

Chat:- Scheduled Chats at

/chat

Bookmarks:-

Add a website URL you have found useful.

/links

Personal Complaints or problems:-

Please contact a moderator

email: -owner

Subscription Details:-

1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.

2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.

3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.

To modify your subscription settings please visit:-

/join

To subscribe or unsubscribe please email:-

-subscribe

-unsubscribe

This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.

--- Margaret Drabble

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm glad that your getting the help that you need and want... It will be all right... Prayers coming your way!!!

((( AngelHugs )))

Helen

My cousin talked me into going into a in-patient program for my eating and other problems...I lost another pound..and my doctor told me he would force me to go into a program soon if I lost anymore....I'm over my ideal weight but he wants me to gain some weight back....he's nuts.......I'll be leaving Monday....I'm scared I guess...I have never really been away from family at all...if I am away from home usually I'm with a family member and so I don't get so scared...but now it will just be me...alone.....but I do know I need this kinda of help....I've had a rough week....me and my dad had a fight about some things...and he hit me...for the third time in the past 8 months....he apologized for the first two times but this time he didn't...I don't know if I would have accepted an apology but he could have at least acknowledged that what he did was very wrongI learned some things ....about myself...that I really don't want to know...I was raped by my mom's bad boyfriend..I already knew that...he took my virginity....but I had sex once with Gregg, my first and only boyfriend.....he was abusive and stuff...and I went over things with my therapist recently and she thinks he raped me too....which would mean that I was raped twice and I think it's my fault....anyways...I told my cousin and then my parents about all this....my dad didn't believe me and that's when we had a discussion(fight)...and he said he didn't believe me and then we fought and yelled and he hit meI'm so scared to go to the program....just scared