Re: Carol [illness and not living....]

March 9, 2004

Hi Carol......I had always been a very independent person most of my life, and

never waited for anyone else to help me do what I wanted to do. So I've now

experienced it both ways. I definitely like my

independence much better, lol.....

Thankyou for your encouragement, and I am working on something now that may be

something that will help me realize some dreams. My dreams have changed because

of my disabilities, and that will take some getting

use to. Its all about perspective, and changing what makes you happy. Being

content with what you have, and not expecting so much from others. I know all of

this in my head, but sometimes I still want someone to

share in those dreams, so its my heart that yearns for the help.

Hugs, Jax [Jackie in Oregon]

songofjoy4ever@... wrote:

> Jackie, I

> thought life was over for a couple of years and then had to realize that

> if anyone would make it better for me-it has to be me. Sure, perhaps we

> can't have all the dreams we wanted met but we can make a list of things

> we might have wanted to do or thigs we want and pursue them even if it

> seems fruitless at times. I made a list of my hopes and dreams and have

> been able to meet some of them. My heart goes out to you Jackie and i

> sure hope you can find just oen dream you can work on to make happen.

> carol

March 9, 2004

Thanks Carol,.......its all a matter of getting use to a new life style and

figuring out what you can do and can't do. My head tells me I can still do

whatever I want, but my body has other ideas, lol....

I really like this group, and everyone has been very caring.

Thankyou for caring.

Hugs, Jax

songofjoy4ever@... wrote:

> Jax-it is no onder to me at all why you would feel so hopelss at times-it

> has to be so hard to care for yourself and deal with the concerns of your

> husband too. I hooe that you will continue to write here for there is a

> lot of caring and compassionate support. we all have those really down

> days and just to know someone is out there in the universe that

> understands and cares helps so much. carol

March 9, 2004

Hi CZ,

You can be Very Proud of yourself for what you Have and Are

accomplishing!!! You have had a hard road to live and I think you have done a

Wonderful job

at it...

((((( BIG HUGS TO YOU TOO!!! )))))

LOVE

HELEN

jackie i know what that is like. i'm autistic and i had an abusive

upbringing that caused me to have a mental breakdown when i was in

highschool. with the autism comes a lot of learning disability problems

that made study difficult and after years of trying to cope with my

memories and physical illness that first started happening when i was

about 12 i never thought i would be in university but i always wanted to

do what normal people did. i got into university from this special

entrance course for people with disabilities or illness preventing them

finishing school or for refugees and i was so pleased with myself but

now it is 3 years later and i passed only one class and i'm on academic

probation. i feel useless that i can't do it even if people say i'm

smart but i keep trying to remind myself that i live independantly in my

own house and now i don't even have home help anymore since i moved and

i do my own bills and shopping and cooking that nobody ever thought i

could and try to stop expecting too much from myself. i need to withdraw

from my course at university and just concentrate on daily living but i

don't want to let go of what i dreamed about doing. sometimes i think

that we have to try to be pleased with smaller or easier things

otherwise it's too easy to drive yourself mad and feel useless and

miserable all the time. it is easier to say than do though. i am in that

miserable place at the moment and it's hard to see out of it.

CZ

March 9, 2004