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Re: An Aspie at my work?

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on 6/5/05 10:59 PM, quantumerik at erik@... wrote:

Then one day...I caught him " hand flapping " when he thought no one was looking. He was

actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It

resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect.

Shore, who has ASD, hung out with us at Autism One one night and showed our table his " hand flapping " . He was funny. He said that people with autism can flap their hand in a way that makes a snapping sound. No one else could do it other than him. Darn- i should have videotaped it!

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When I was a kid I had a bout of encephylitis that hospitalized me. For years

after that, I

suffered from some mild seizure activity...I would get " chills " that made me

shiver my

arms...and my hands would flap a little. I grew out of it by puberty, but to

this day I've had

the occasional facial tic and mild (but controllable...as in easily ignored)

OCD. My best

friend had spinal meningitis the same year I had my encephylitis...but he never

had any ill

effects. I've sometimes wondered if I had a bad vaccine reaction... but that's

baseless

suspicion, for lack of access to my old medical records.

I wouldn't be surprised if I may have contributed a genetic predisposition to my

daughter.

That, and my wife's MS (who is also mercury toxic)...and her family's history of

autoimmune problems.

>

> Then one day...I caught him " hand flapping " when he thought no one was

> looking. He was

> actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands

> in that manner. It

> resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect.

>

>

> Shore, who has ASD, hung out with us at Autism One one night and

> showed our table his " hand flapping " . He was funny. He said that people

> with autism can flap their hand in a way that makes a snapping sound. No

> one else could do it other than him. Darn- i should have videotaped it!

>

> -

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,

Maybe, tell him about a recent book you read- about and adult with autism- and that it was a good read..Stephan Shore's book is good , there are many out there... Just mention you are reading, or read it and found it to be a good book, and would lend it to him if he is interested..

He probably is unaware of any information that you know about autism and it is very possible that he is not aware of his autism ( if that is the case..)..I don't think asking would be wise unless you are close friends. That is just my view. You could slowly mention information to him and see what happens..

just my 2 cents..

Reading just about every book out there by an auspie and researching a ton- has led me to believe I am not on the spectrum fully enough to be dx, but would be considered a "cousin"- this means I have autistic traits but not enough to fit the full dx criteria..I am more likely now ad/hd and sensory, with a little OCD thrown in for fun..;)

I did not know this until my son was dx..I did know that I was different and that something was wrong, just not what or why..wish I had known.

cjquantumerik <erik@...> wrote:

I am suspecting that one of my coworkers (at my "day" job) is an aspie, but after getting to know him...I don't think he's ever been diagnosed with anything. But he has SO MANY of the mannerisms and personality traits. Everything from the way he walks, dresses, his social awkwardness with conversation...and the unusual topics he brings up out the blue... well, I've just had my suspicions for some time. But I couldn't be certain.Then one day...I caught him "hand flapping" when he thought no one was looking. He was actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect.Would I be rude in asking him if he's ever been diagnosed with Asperger's or similar disorder? It really is NONE of my business. He knows that I'm involved with Autism, but has

said nothing, nor appeared familiar at all with anything I spoke of.> > I have been on a few "Auspie" sites since my son was dx as I saw > many of his symptoms in me..> > There was a ton of verbal "harshness" towards NT's and > others..rightfully so- I agree that Auspies are treated very badly > and misunderstood at the least. Even though thier comments were > really over the top, I could understand thier point.. I never took > it personaly, even though I was a parent seeking out Biopmed info > for my boy..I never thought of copying and pasting these sometimes > vicious posts and flinging there pain back at them..> ~ this is what Kathy S. did to this list> cj > >

Colleen

Kay Senior Consultant

704-708-8536 www.marykay.com/cjenny

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Be careful...a small word of warning. Despite your good intentions, there may be some teens/even adults out there who may exhibit signs of Asperger's or even HFA but have not been told all about their "disorders". My oldest son is one of those.Even though he was diagnosed with Asperger's some years ago, this diagnosis has not helped him at all in recent years since he has managed to distance himself from it. Be careful if you choose to ask your co-worker about his diagnosis...with some, that question may not go over well. I know you mean well and your co-worker sounds like what my youngest son may be like when he gets older...just the same, tread carefully. Aasa quantumerik <erik@...> wrote:

I am suspecting that one of my coworkers (at my "day" job) is an aspie, but after getting to know him...I don't think he's ever been diagnosed with anything. But he has SO MANY of the mannerisms and personality traits. Everything from the way he walks, dresses, his social awkwardness with conversation...and the unusual topics he brings up out the blue... well, I've just had my suspicions for some time. But I couldn't be certain.Then one day...I caught him "hand flapping" when he thought no one was looking. He was actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect.Would I be rude in asking him if he's ever been diagnosed with Asperger's or similar disorder? It really is NONE of my business. He knows that I'm involved with Autism, but has

said nothing, nor appeared familiar at all with anything I spoke of.> > I have been on a few "Auspie" sites since my son was dx as I saw > many of his symptoms in me..> > There was a ton of verbal "harshness" towards NT's and > others..rightfully so- I agree that Auspies are treated very badly > and misunderstood at the least. Even though thier comments were > really over the top, I could understand thier point.. I never took > it personaly, even though I was a parent seeking out Biopmed info > for my boy..I never thought of copying and pasting these sometimes > vicious posts and flinging there pain back at them..> ~ this is what Kathy S. did to this list> cj > >

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,

maybe share with him the wonderful work you do (at your "other" job) and during the course of conversation see if it comes up. Or just mention some of the "symptoms" of ASD and see what he says. Maybe if he knows you are a resource and are well educated and non judgemental he can come to you for more info - or if he needs to - seek help...

When I meet a parent with a suspect child - I always talk of my own experience and also mention that I felt alone - didn't know where to turn - etc.

Jenn

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of quantumerikSent: Sunday, June 05, 2005 11:00 PMEOHarm Subject: An Aspie at my work?

I am suspecting that one of my coworkers (at my "day" job) is an aspie, but after getting to know him...I don't think he's ever been diagnosed with anything. But he has SO MANY of the mannerisms and personality traits. Everything from the way he walks, dresses, his social awkwardness with conversation...and the unusual topics he brings up out the blue... well, I've just had my suspicions for some time. But I couldn't be certain.Then one day...I caught him "hand flapping" when he thought no one was looking. He was actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect.Would I be rude in asking him if he's ever been diagnosed with Asperger's or similar disorder? It really is NONE of my business. He knows that I'm involved with Autism, but has said nothing, nor appeared familiar at all with anything I spoke of.> > I have been on a few "Auspie" sites since my son was dx as I saw > many of his symptoms in me..> > There was a ton of verbal "harshness" towards NT's and > others..rightfully so- I agree that Auspies are treated very badly > and misunderstood at the least. Even though thier comments were > really over the top, I could understand thier point.. I never took > it personaly, even though I was a parent seeking out Biopmed info > for my boy..I never thought of copying and pasting these sometimes > vicious posts and flinging there pain back at them..> ~ this is what Kathy S. did to this list> cj > >

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OMG!! ,

My older brother who isn't ASD (but I suppose has tendencies!) has been doing what Shore described for years. He only does it when he is really excited...basically when he is watching a sports show on TV and his team makes a big play or it is getting suspenseful. I Never really thought anything about it. He makes his fingers pop onto his palms. I always just thought it was a funny habit."christine@..." <christine@...> wrote:

on 6/5/05 10:59 PM, quantumerik at erik@... wrote:

Then one day...I caught him "hand flapping" when he thought no one was looking. He was actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect. Shore, who has ASD, hung out with us at Autism One one night and showed our table his "hand flapping". He was funny. He said that people with autism can flap their hand in a way that makes a snapping sound. No one else could do it other than him. Darn- i should have videotaped it!- __________________________________________________

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quantumerik <erik@...> wrote:

<< Then one day...I caught him "hand flapping" when he thought no one was looking. He was actually drying his hands off...but I've never seen anyone dry their hands in that manner. It resembled my daughter's hand flapping in every respect. >>

Dear, dear . You have just revealed that you were never in a ladies' restroom before the days of hot air hand dryers and there were no paper towels available. We used to flap our hands to dry them...just as my grandson flapped his hands before GFCF and chelation. Quite effective, I might add.

<< Would I be rude in asking him if he's ever been diagnosed with Asperger's or similar disorder? >>

Yes.

<< It really is NONE of my business. >>

Correct.

<< He knows that I'm involved with Autism, but has said nothing, nor appeared familiar at all with anything I spoke of. >>

Perhaps he does not have the problem you think he has. If he does not, perhaps he knows nothing about the problem your offspring has. If he does have a problem and if he ever trusts you enough as a friend, perhaps he will discuss his problem with you. Remember, many Aspies do not feel they have a problem and do not understand why NTs think they do! We're a complicated group, we humans.Sylvia

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And in fact, it would be presumptive to assume that he has a " problem "

at all!

> << Would I be rude in asking him if he's ever been diagnosed with

Asperger's or similar

> disorder? >>

>

> Yes.

>

> << It really is NONE of my business. >>

>

> Correct.

>

> << He knows that I'm involved with Autism, but

> has said nothing, nor appeared familiar at all with anything I spoke

of. >>

>

> Perhaps he does not have the problem you think he has. If he does

not, perhaps he knows nothing about the problem your offspring has.

If he does have a problem and if he ever trusts you enough as a

friend, perhaps he will discuss his problem with you. Remember, many

Aspies do not feel they have a problem and do not understand why NTs

think they do! We're a complicated group, we humans.

>

> Sylvia

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--Dear, dear . You have just revealed that you were never in a ladies'

restroom before

the days of hot air hand dryers and there were no paper towels available. We

used to flap

our hands to dry them...just as my grandson flapped his hands before GFCF and

chelation.

Quite effective, I might add.--

I just revealed??? It should go without saying, since I've yet to meet a lady

named 'erik!'

However, hot air hand dryers have been around since the 1970's... and even when

they

didn't have them in the men's washrooms, we used paper towels. Quite a bit more

effective than hand flapping. However, I have shaken my hands to rid them of

excess water

before...but it never resembled what I've seen autistics do, my daughter

included. And

that's exactly why I took notice of this individual's method of flapping. It

matched how my

daughter flaps her hand. The only difference is that my daughter flaps her hand

in her

peripheral field of vision. This person didn't.

Another thing I should add...this individual with whom I'm acquainted had paper

towels

handy...which makes me wonder if he was actually drying his hands?

Either way, it doesn't matter. But this fella is so " unusual " in so many

respects...I don't

believe for a minute that he's NT. But I am not inclined to discuss it with

him...

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