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Re: Hello again -

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Hi ,

You have hit the nail on the head. It *is* an all or nothing way of

thinking. I don't know why it is so hard to be somewhere in the middle.

I am working right now on my internal messages. Everytime I say " I suck "

(or worse) because I failed to be perfect, I am trying to catch myself and

replace it with a positive message.

You are right... the more often we can get past this, the less of an issue

it will prove to be. I hope!

Redondo

> Message: 4

> Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 16:51:51 -0000

> From: " rachelthea " <rcullenen@...>

> Subject: Re: Hello again

>

> This is one of my biggest struggles too - the struggle against

> perfectionism! I am such an all-or-nothing persion. I either have to

> be 110% on the program, or eating completely unhealthily and not

> exercising at all. Why is it so difficult to reach that point of

> moderation?!

>

> Congratulations on sticking with it this morning even without the

> workout. I know I am very inclined to do the same thing - one screw-

> up and I throw in the towel, declare the day or week a failure. It is

> so hard not to do that, but I think every time we are able to continue

> despite a mishap, it makes our ability to do so in the future that much

> stronger.

>

>

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Hi ,

Thanks for the welcome! I have done that too - given up before I've even

tried because I wasn't instantly perfect at something. I am *slowly*

learning that some things take time!

I like your idea about the little child. I've also tried saying to myself,

if A (my best friend) came to you with this, how would you treat her?

Would you tell her she was awful and she should just give up? Of course

not. I am much nicer to other people than I am to myself, sadly. I like

the added dimension of discipline... I certainly do need to learn to

discipline myself, which is NOT the same thing as beating myself up.

Redondo

> From: " " <chandani@...>

> Subject: Re: Hello again

>

> Hi , and welcome back!

> Your struggle with perfectionism is SO familiar. I've fought that same

> battle most of my life. I'm doing a lot better than I used to, but it's

> always there in the back of my mind...I can hardly stand to do anything

> I'm not already really good at (hello? How are you supposed to learn

> anything new?) and I'd rather shut down entirely than be disappointed in

> myself for not meeting impossible standards. It's a harsh way to deal

> with yourself...I can't think of anyone else on this planet I would

> dream of treating that way. Sometimes I just have to try to remember to

> treat myself like a little child who's precious to me. Encourage a lot

> and even spoil that child a little bit, knowing that where discipline is

> necessary it's only to help that child learn to make better choices,

> not to punish or humiliate.

>

> -- in ID

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Hi ,

You're right - it is all a matter of perspective. If I exercise *at all*,

I'm already doing better than just being a couch potato. I am also trying

to keep the food and the exercise separate in a way. I can eat cleanly.

And as it has been pointed out many times, you're always only a couple of

hours away from getting back on track with the food.

Redondo

> From: " Dupree " <jenniferdupree@...>

> Subject: Re: Hello again

>

> Not to promote missing workouts or anything, but for the majority of my

> first challenge I don't think I made all 6 days in any one week. I

> usually made at least 5, though. When I'd start to get upset with

> myself about missing a workout a week I'd mention it to any number of my

> friends (none of whom workout regularly) and their reaction would make

> me realize that me working out 5x/week is a whole lot more than the

> majority does.

>

> in WI

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Hi !

I remember you, too!!! :-)

I laughed when I read " Perfection is the enemy of the good. " Well, then,

it's quite simple, isn't it? I'm all about the good, baby! :-)

You're right... I should reread Skwigg's words of wisdom. Funny how I get

so stubborn in my negativity sometimes. God forbid I should be wrong about

being wrong. Or something like that.

Good luck to you. We are STRONG WOMEN. We are healthy women. We can do this!

Redondo

> From: Lyons <zookeeper08@...>

> Subject: Re: Re: Hello again

>

> Hey, Redondo , I remember you! We both did C1 in

> January, and struggled pretty much ever since then.

> We're both back now, so let's really go for it!

>

> Remember: Perfection is the enemy of the good.

>

> We don't need to be perfect. No one is. Remember

> Skwigg's essay about finishers? The one where she

> talks about the finishers -- they won't do a " perfect "

> challange, but they do a whole lot better than the one

> who keeps starting over, in quest of the perfect

> challange....We both oughta reread it.

>

>

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