(unknown)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/24/00 9:05:33 PM, natilee@... writes:

<< You don't have the CMT gene but have the symptoms -- unlike my family

who has the gene more often than the symptoms. >>

<< When these situations come up -- people that have CMT without the gene it

must stump the doctors. >>

Hi Natilee,

You missed the conversation about genes. The DNA (gene) test only detects

three types of CMT. Type 1A, X-linked, and HNPP.

Family history, reflex tests, appearance of the patient's feet and legs, and

EMGs are among the tools used to identify the other types.

All of the more than 20 types involve genes, but the other ones have not had

their exact location identified so they don't show up on the genetic (DNA)

test.

CMT symptoms vary between people, even among members of the same family. In

some families most members are very mildly affected. They may not even think

they have CMT; they may think they are slightly clumsy, or that they just

have odd feet, or perhaps they have no symptoms at all.

In another family there may be many members who need AFOs, walkers,

wheelchairs, or other aids for mobility. CMT is so inconsistent it is

frustrating to patients and to doctors alike.

This is from Dorothy Gosling's web site:

CMT 1A with duplication

(occurs approximately 10.5 per 100,000 population)

There is an incidence of 18% sporadic cases with no family history with 60%

having a family history of CMT. Males and females are equally affected.

http://tor-pw1.netcom.ca/~dgosling/cmt/types.html

---------------------

Key:

HNPP = Hereditary Neuropathy with Liability to Pressure Palsies

AFO = Ankle Foot Orthotic

EMG = Electromyography

I hope this helps.

Kat in Seattle

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with you on your anger about the " wait and it will round

out " . I'm glad you " vented " . Hopefully if families who are on the fence

regarding treatment read your message they will decide to do something.

Sue

----- Original Message -----

From: yee <yeeman@...>

<torticolliskidsegroups>

Cc: <plagiocephalyegroups>

Sent: Monday, July 03, 2000 11:05 AM

Subject: (unknown)

> I missed the show on lifetime - if anyone taped it would you please mail

it to me?

>

> Just a thought: I don't think a baby's head will round out after it is " Up

and moving around " becasue if you separate each day in 3 eight hour

sections, they sleep for at least one segment and may be up for 16 hours but

don't have pressure on it like when they were tiny and laying on the back.

Also, women that wear tight shoes 8 hours a day to work end up getting goofy

feet becasue they are molded by the shoes and their feet aren't even as soft

as a baby's skull bones. I'm just sick of hearing this! Its not true!

>

> Another thing I'm sick of is peds telling me its not a functional

problem(pp) - well if it was her feet, her teeth, her eyes - all of these

things would be treated. WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR HEAD? THE PLACE

THAT HOLDS 4 OF YOUR SENSES, YOUR BRAIN, YOUR SENSE OF BALANCE AND YOUR

ABILITY TO SPEAK. And frankly, the docs have no real idea what can happen

later with these kids becasue there has not been enought time to research to

true outcomes so they say it is simply cosmetic. Its a copout by those that

are responsibe for the pp in the first place! Also, the combination with

tort is functional because for some reason these kids can't use half of

their bodies. If it was their kid they would be treated with no second

thought regardless of severity. It is a presense/absense issue!

>

> OK, I'll shut up now, just had to vent a few things that were on my mind.

Liz

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Need a credit card?

> Instant Approval and 0% intro APR with Aria!

> 1/6034/5/_/689409/_/962637042/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am currently researching the possible relationship between " sick " day care

and preschool facilities with the increased incidence of ADD and HADD in

preschool children. Any info or comments would be appreciated.

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

>I am currently researching the possible relationship between " sick " day care

>and preschool facilities with the increased incidence of ADD and HADD in

>preschool children. Any info or comments would be appreciated.

>

>Thanks.

>

><1/4322/3/_/504879/_/963875674/>

>

Study the idea of the superfluous toxins in fragrances and pesticides ...

for more info on both, see EHN at http://www.ehnca.org

[Guest guest]

Dear Elliott,

There is a specialist in Albany, NY that knows more about how to diagnose

for mold exposure and antibodies via blood tests than anyone else I have

heard of in my three years of research on this topic. His address:

Eastern New York Occupational Health Program

Eckardt Johanning, M.D.

155 Washington Ave.

Albany, NY 12210

(518) 436-5511

(518) 436-9110..fax

Start with him, he should be able to help if anybody can and he is

understanding about your situation, very compassionate attitude. Hope this

helps, keep us posted....pandc@...

----- Original Message -----

From: elliott linderman <hammerhead694749@...>

<egroups>

Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2000 11:59 PM

Subject: [] (unknown)

> hi if anyone nows of a test for mold mildew

> please advise thanks elliott

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/6/2000 3:08:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,

dcscaggs@... writes:

<< He wants me to have PT first then if I still can't climb stairs he'll

give me a note. Is this typical or exceptible? I was really shocked

when he said no. What do I do until I " learn " to climb stairs again,

stay at home I guess. Debi >>

Debi

Have you asked your MD for the note. Sometimes one doctor will be more

sympathetic than another doctor.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/6/2000 12:08:39 PM Pacific Standard Time,

dcscaggs@... writes:

> He wants me to have PT first then if I still can't climb stairs he'll

> give me a note. Is this typical or exceptible? I was really shocked

> when he said no. What do I do until I " learn " to climb stairs again,

> stay at home I guess. Debi

>

>

>

>

What a jerk.. He should have given you the note. No questions asked.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/6/2000 3:13:53 PM Pacific Standard Time,

lsotm@... writes:

> Sorry this is so long, but I'm sure you can see my frustration!

>

> maureen

>

HI Maureen, Everything you discribbed is why I won't take my kids to see a Dr

unless they need a RX for AFOS. Maureen the best therapy I have found with

my kids is TES. http://www.tascnetwork.net/ ... It has made a BIG diffrence

in my kids.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 06/11/00 06:28:24 p.m. Pacific Standard Time,

lsotm@... writes:

<< Hi - Thanks so much for the site. I will be checking this out!!!!

blessings,

maureen >>

Maureen NO Kidding this therapy has helped.. I am a CMT Mom with 4 CMT kids..

I am seeing some diffrence in the kids that use TES.

jenny

[Guest guest]

- don't panic - our son is 8 months old and was just fitted so you

have plenty of time. Cranial Technologies is the place to get the DOC band

- see below for info in Missouri - hope this helps!

Missouri

Rehab Designs of America

Rockhill Medical Plaza North

6650 Troost, Suite 100

Kansas City, MO 64131

Phone: 816-523-1333

Fax: 816-444-1700

Clinician: Bob Kuenzi, CP

Clinician: Jan Wollard, PT, CO

<<...>>

Virender Singahl, M.D. vsinghal@... <mailto:vsinghal@...>

Children's Mercy Hospital

www.childrens-mercy.org

<http://www.childrens-mercy.org/sections/cleft/index.html>

2401 Gillham Road

Kansas City, MO 64108

816-234-1625

W. Colyer,M.D. jeffcolyer@... <mailto:jeffcolyer@...>

M. Hiebert, MD kcj1215@... <mailto:kcj1215@...>

St. Luke's ee Mission

4401 Wornall Road

Kansas City, MO 64111

816-932-2389

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Fortyluv23@... [sMTP:Fortyluv23@...]

> Sent: Monday, November 06, 2000 4:09 PM

> Plagiocephalyegroups

> Subject: (unknown)

>

> Our daughter was just referred to a specialist by our pediatrician.

> The specialist is in Louisville and his nurse said they do not use

> the DOC band; they use the helmet. Our daughter is 4 1/2 months old

> and I consider her to be a moderate case of positional plagiocephaly;

> we are repositioning now while we await our appointment with Dr.

> O'. Is the helmet or the DOC band better? Why do some doctors

> only use the helmet? We are located halfway between St. Louis and

> Nashville and so far I can't find a specialist in either city that

> uses the DOC band. I am new and panicking because of time slipping

> away.

>

> Long

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Debi, My son has just been diagnosed with CMT and already I have had it

with the doctors! Let's see-our first visit to the orthopedic specialist he

sent him for hip xrays, PT 3x's week for 6 weeks, and to see a

neurologist(that appt was scheduled 4 MONTHS

later). Well, we went to the nuerologist (a 2 hour trip one-way) and spent a

total of 20

minutes with the dr. She had my son get the dna blood test and wanted the

emg in 3 months. Away we went home with a prescription for OT for 1x week

for 3 months (no PT).

We then went to our scheduled follow-up appt with the ortho. specialist.

They could not find the xrays. I was told if they didn't recognize the name

they may have sent them back! HUH????? I also asked if he had a pretty good

idea if this was CMT before he sent us and he said yes. Well that being the

case, shouldn't ALL of the tests been set up for our

visit to the neurologist? (oh, she also had no info on my son at our appt)

That brings me

to another issue: the orthopedic specialist sent my son for PT and my son

would come out absolutely exhausted with his legs shaking-I now find after

doing research that this

is the absolute worst thing you can do to CMT affected muscles! If he

thought this was CMT why didn't he instruct the therapist of this???? I

can't wait to ask im this when I see him. Lastly- I have been calling the

neurologist office for over a week now trying to get the results of the DNA

test which they have had for that long. I can never talk to a human

when I call and must leave a message, whereby they then call me back when I

have already left for work-after telling them when I would be leaving. Now I

get a message on

my machine that our appt for this Thursday-which I have already scheduled

time off from work- may have to be changes because the dr is on jury duty.

This is DuPont childrens Hospital who are supposed to be one of the best.

Needless to say-I am totally disgusted with these dr's and would like to

find others. Anyone know of some good ones in the town, PA area?????

Sorry this is so long, but I'm sure you can see my frustration!

maureen

From: <dcscaggs@...>

<egroups>

Sent: Monday, November 06, 2000 3:03 PM

Subject: [] (unknown)

> Hello all,

>

> I recently went for my latest visit to the neuro. They were

> suppose to have had some test (blood test) done on me but had not so

> the doc just talked to me for 5-10 mins. At the regular doctor office

> visit charge, of course. That's another story.

> I was really a little disappointed in this doctor, my second time

> to see him. Not only did the test mix up happen but I asked about a

> doctor's note to get handicap seating at public events and he said

> " No. "

> He wants me to have PT first then if I still can't climb stairs he'll

> give me a note. Is this typical or exceptible? I was really shocked

> when he said no. What do I do until I " learn " to climb stairs again,

> stay at home I guess. Debi

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi - Thanks so much for the site. I will be checking this out!!!!

blessings,

maureen

----- Original Message -----

From: <jacee17@...>

<egroups>

Sent: Monday, November 06, 2000 7:18 PM

Subject: Re: [] (unknown)

> In a message dated 11/6/2000 3:13:53 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> lsotm@... writes:

>

>

> > Sorry this is so long, but I'm sure you can see my frustration!

> >

> > maureen

> >

>

> HI Maureen, Everything you discribbed is why I won't take my kids to see a

Dr

> unless they need a RX for AFOS. Maureen the best therapy I have found

with

> my kids is TES. http://www.tascnetwork.net/ ... It has made a BIG

diffrence

> in my kids.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

Welcome to the group! Don't panic, there is still plenty of time.

Although babies respond to treatment faster when they are young, we have

babies here who started treatment as late as 18 months (not that this is

recommended! ). Your daughter is at the perfect age to get started.

The DOC Band is a device that is available across most of the U.S.,

Canada, and Europe. A mold is taken of each baby's head and sent

to Phoenix, where every band is made specifically for each different child.

The band applies a very mild pressure to the parts of the baby's head that

"stick out", and leaves open spaces for the flat parts to grow in to.

Adjustments are done weekly for young babies, and every 2 weeks for older

ones.

There is no ONE helmet. There are actually dozens available, and

are made by individual manufacturers. All the different types of

helmets work in their own way, but basically they work either similarly

to the DOC Band, or "passively". A "passive" helmet is one that your

baby's head will "grow in to". Rather than the helmet "shaping the

head" (as with the DOC Band), the head will take the shape of the helmet

itself as it grows. This will usually take a little longer, but not

always (it all depends on the age of the child, and how fast s/he grows).

Another alternative to the DOC Band is the STARband, available thru

Orthomerica. They have a

band similar to the DOC Band, seem to be more available (they work thru

your local orthotist), and have a much smaller price tag.

I hope this info. helps you out a little. Any more questions,

please read the Q & A in the "files" section, or just ask! )

Kendra

Fortyluv23@... wrote:

Our daughter was just referred to a specialist

by our pediatrician.

The specialist is in Louisville and his nurse said they do not

use

the DOC band; they use the helmet. Our daughter is 4 1/2

months old

and I consider her to be a moderate case of positional plagiocephaly;

we are repositioning now while we await our appointment with Dr.

O'. Is the helmet or the DOC band better? Why

do some doctors

only use the helmet? We are located halfway between St. Louis

and

Nashville and so far I can't find a specialist in either city that

uses the DOC band. I am new and panicking because of time

slipping

away.

Long

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

The message sent by

Cur Ecocity <ecocity@...>

is a virus. Delete the message ---- then delete the message from your trash

files.

Thanks

Earle

[Guest guest]

Debi !

Go to a Physiatrist. They are in the business of assessing disability. The

neuro-docs are only good for Dx'ing the disease and generally offer little

help in living with it ! - EdM

-----Original Message-----

From: dcscaggs@... <dcscaggs@...>

egroups <egroups>

Date: Monday, November 06, 2000 3:06 PM

Subject: [] (unknown)

>Hello all,

>

> I recently went for my latest visit to the neuro. They were

>suppose to have had some test (blood test) done on me but had not so

>the doc just talked to me for 5-10 mins. At the regular doctor office

>visit charge, of course. That's another story.

> I was really a little disappointed in this doctor, my second time

>to see him. Not only did the test mix up happen but I asked about a

>doctor's note to get handicap seating at public events and he said

> " No. "

>He wants me to have PT first then if I still can't climb stairs he'll

>give me a note. Is this typical or exceptible? I was really shocked

>when he said no. What do I do until I " learn " to climb stairs again,

>stay at home I guess. Debi

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Hi I am Jill. My son Josh has been in the DOC Band

for less than a month. He started treatment when he

turned 19 months. I have seen a tremendous difference

already. So it's not too late for you.

There is a link with plagio and ear infections. As

the entire bone structure in the head and face are

affected. It has also been linked to TMJ, and ocular

problems, and also developmental delays.

Look in the files section of the plagio e-group.

There is a file there labeled insurance help.

Another site to check out may be cranialtech.com, or

plagio.org

Best of luck and keep us posted!

Jill (Mom to Josh & Jarred)

--- pettice@... wrote:

> Hi, everyone.

>

> My son, Conor, received his helmet last Monday; he's

> over 13 months

> old, so my story is a familiar one--I trusted my

> pediatrician too

> much and am now dealing with being angry at her and

> myself. She at

> least sent us to a good pediatric neurosurgeon who

> often deals with

> plagiocephaly and who sent us to an orthotics lab

> that has a lot of

> experience making helmets.

>

> We go back for an adjustment on Tuesday, but how the

> helmet's leaving

> a red mark on the side of his forehead that isn't

> protruding. Isn't

> this exactly what the helmet shouldn't be doing,

> putting pressure on

> the side that needs to grow forward? He's only

> wearing the helmet for

> a couple of hours a day so that he gets used to it,

> and I guess this

> brief period doesn't do anything good or bad

> therapeutically, but I'm

> still worried. Does it simply take time to get a

> good fit and for

> parents to get better at placing the helmet

> correctly? I'm terrified

> that this is my fault. I'm also anxious because I'm

> very aware that

> every day without treatment is a wasted day at this

> age.

>

> Also: could parents of older kids who received late

> treatment tell me

> how successful helmet/band therapy turned out to be?

> My son has mild

> to moderate plagiocephaly; the right side of his

> head is shifted

> forward, affecting his forehead, ear, and the back

> of his head on

> that side, which is fairly flat. The doctor says

> Conor will have to

> wear the helmet for 4 months. Does that sound about

> right? I'm

> obsessing over the fact that we won't get a perfect

> result; is it

> your experience that the result is still pretty

> good?

>

> And also: Every single doctor who has looked in

> Conor's ears has had

> a hard time looking into the one that's farther

> forward. Now he's on

> a second round of ear infections. Is there any study

> out there that

> links ear problems like this with plagiocephaly?

> We're expecting

> Health America to turn us down for coverage, so I'm

> interested in

> gathering journal articles for our appeal.

>

> Thank you all for being here. This egroup is

> fantastic!

>

> (Conor's mom)

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Not good odds, huh? I have a first cousin with four

> who all inherited!

>

Yep w/ both my kids 2 out of 2 have it and the youngest has it worst.

Maggie

----- Original Message -----

From: " Benj. S Ember " <benember@...>

<egroups>

Sent: Friday, December 01, 2000 4:52 PM

Subject: [] (unknown)

> ,

>

> One out of 9 is fantastic. I am the oldest of 7--two brothers, besides

> myself, have inherited. There is a question of 2 of my sisters, but they

> have very slight symptoms, and cannot afford the DNA test, so we don't

> know about them.

>

> Three of my four have inherited--older brother has 2 out of 4, and other

> brother-3 out of 4. Not good odds, huh? I have a first cousin with four

> who all inherited!

>

> Theresa

> ________________________________________________________________

> GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!

> Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!

> Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:

> http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU NOW. GOD IS GOOD BUT WE HAVE TO DO WHAT HIS WORD SAYS.

THE WORD SAYS HE BLESSES THE JUST AS WELL AS THE UNJUST BUT IF WE ARE DOIERS

OF THE WORD HE HAS TO DO WHAT HIS WORD SAYS.

-----Original Message-----

From: h4rochelle55@... [mailto:h4rochelle55@...]

Sent: Friday, March 02, 2001 11:40 AM

Subject: [] (unknown)

Tracie,

I would like for you can pray for me too. There are days that I do

not think I could go on but God is my footsteps.

I was exposed to molds at work and the company eliminated my job.

Last month the company my husband worked for relocate to another

state. My grandchildren keep me going daily.

[Guest guest]

Are you happy with his care? Do you feel better? What

is he treating you for?

Thanks for replying!!!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

You are sending viruses in the mail. Virus scan your system.

Best Regards, Ratliff

icq 1495914

msn ROBERT RATLIFF

aim mtncurr22

http://www.copernic.com

search engine

http://www.ghisler.com>

windows commander

http://www.paltalk.com>

voice/text chat

<*>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Bruns [mailto:kjbruns@...]

> Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2001 11:01 AM

> Subject: (unknown)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Any food items should be shipped UPS. Sally

[Guest guest]

Kristi,

i just ordered more cod liver oil yesturday from radiant life, they informed

me that shipping by UPS would avoid any irradiation.

----- Original Message -----

From: " kristi croddy " <kgcroddy@...>

< >

Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 4:01 PM

Subject: (unknown)

I am getting raw goat's milk from egretfarms sent to

me. It's coming from Texas to Indiana. Are any of

you who are buying stuff that is to be shipped worried

about anthrax, or the food being irradiated? I'm not

sure exactly the method of shipping. Thanks in

advance for the advice. Kristi

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

First of all e you do have friends right here, I am your friend, do

you think I have any friends here really in Idaho where I have only lived

for 6 months, sure I have a great husband I don't deny that, but other than

that what or who do I have here, my step kids, yeah but I don't even have my

own daughter here and that is a nightmare I am sick too, still I am better

than I was with those toxic implants in me, you cannot let them win e

you have to hang on, come on now, I may not have the disc thing in my back

YET, but I have osteoporosis at the ripe old age of 37 yeah that is a

confirmed diagnosis, so yeah I am falling apart on the inside it seems. I

can go on and on but it isn't about who is worse with what, it is about love

care and compassion. Please I beg you to call me honey tomorrow ok we will

talk, I can maybe come see you or something I can swing it if I think of a

way or whatever, but lets not let this get to you, you can lose the wieght

and you can get yourself back to how you want to look I can send you my fat

pctures and you can see how bad I looked no way you look that bad honey

believe me.

Also honey remember that you should probably be back on your anti

depressants as well, I thought you were so happy to be back in denver so I

am confused now as to why things got worse.

Remember to that Patty has been explanted longer than us and that she went

through times like at 18 months etc where she actually got worse, hang on

and don't do something that will ruin it, wait for the miracle that is sure

to come. You and I we have been through to much to give up now, do you think

when they told me I had osteoporosis that I didn't feel like getting a gun

and just ending it? Taking some pills ? Well ha ha I knew it would take more

than pills to kill me since I am amuned to most drugs anyhow, but still I

have thought of death too, and then I remember not just my family but the

women I would be letting down by doing this, all those innocent women who

still have a chance of being saved from what we have been through, come on

e, don't be so down get your meds going again and then take actions

make choices we don't have to die our death is the implant manufacturers

victory, don't let these evil men win, there time will come when they die

and have to pay for the crimes comitted against us, and all the women who

don't believe in us and say mean things about us, they too will learn the

hard way, I have been ridiculed, cut down, made fun of, laughed at, I don't

care, I will not ever stop spreading the word for this cause and I do not

want to lose a sister like you who has been there for me so much, I always

kind of was amazed at how you bounced back so fast after your explant while

I went through months and months of suffering at least 6 or 8 before I

really started to feel better, so maybe that time is here for you now, you

have to know that it is never going to be easy for us, there will always be

some struggles however they can be overcome and we all know we did what was

right, Please e don't ever try to kill yourself again, pick up that

damn telephone and call me if you think you need someone to talk to I

realize I am in another state but so freaking what, I am here offereing my

friendship and my home if you wish to visit, so don't stop trying and

fighting.

Please call me e give it a try and see what we can come up with, You

cannot do it alone either, neither can I we all need help.

I am going to go back to bed now, I am still very sick with a sinus throat

infection but please honey think of what I have said and try to call me

tomorrow or anytime you want, I will always be here for you. I care allot

about you and was so worried about you don't you see you have some of the

best friends you will ever find, right here on this group, call me

again my number is 208-522-1137

I am expecting a call this time girl don't make me hunt you down.LOL

Please e call me! I am all alone till tomorrow like 3 pm so call and

we can chat about our bad back or whatever ha ha ha hey gotta laugh or cry I

chose to laugh.

Be tough and tell your story to some more sites like I did,, get it out

there don't give up, you will be ok. I trust in god for you even if yu

don't!

Love

CALL ME or email me your number and I will happily call you I have no

problems with calling you at all I have no problems reaching out to you,

think about and let me know!

Alright I will stop for now but If I don't hear from you I will hound you ha

ha

Call me I could use a friend right now too as I am also scared of what is

going on in my bones right now too and your a nurse maybe you could fill me

in on ideas and stuff.

Write me back,

Love and hugs

----- Original Message -----

From: <eRene@...>

<SalineInfo >; < >

Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2001 12:16 AM

Subject: (unknown)

> To All,

>

> I am a little hesitant to write anything, but I felt it

> my duty to let you all know I am alive. Yes, you were

> all correct in assuming I had hurt myself. The last wk

> I spent in ICU, finally getting out Wed and returning to

> work Thurs.

>

> What I want to convey is thank you for your concern,

> although I feel your concern for me has come at a cost

> to the groups, and I never intended that at all. I

> simply intended to die and be done with all the

> miserable pain and agony that is my life. I am not

> getting better and in fact found out that I have

> worsened degenerative disk disease in my back, as well

> as a question of osteoporosis. In addition I have

> several herniated disks in my spine from T-12 down to S-

> 1, with a disk at the lumbar/sacral area causing nerve

> root compression. I am also waiting for xray and CT

> results of my C-spine.

>

> However, it was not just my health that prompted me to

> take drastic action. I have been grieving the loss of 5

> friends in the WTC collapse, the death of my

> grandparents within 4 days of each other, finding out

> friends that I thought were " true " friends were only

> fair weather friends, and doctors that are suddenly

> giving me the run around. Needless to say, I found my

> coping skills nonexistent, and everything just became

> too overwhelming.

>

> I am so sorry to have caused everyone such worry, and

> believe me, I never wanted fighting to begin amongst

> everyone. In reading the posts, I can only cry because

> it is all my fault. Please accept my apologies.

>

> That said, the peacefulness that I experienced while in

> ICU was so nice--a far cry from the hell I have been

> living in for the last 1.5 months. I want to have that

> peace again, and maybe someday I will. Without friends

> to bounce things off of, to discuss issues with, and to

> seek guidance from, all I have is myself and my self

> hatred and low self esteem.

>

> Again, please accept my apologies for any turmoil I

> caused. I don't want anyone to hate me or be disgusted

> by me.

>

> e

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

e,

I am very glad to see you posting again, and that you are OK. You know that

many of us were worried about you, but that does not mean you have to feel

guilty about it. This is something you are going through, and we need to

be there to help you sort through some of these feelings if we can.

Most of all, you need to know that you are a very special person, and that

you have a life worth living, and a purpose that needs to be fulfilled. God

knows what that is, and He will help you find it, if you only let Him.

My life before God was empty, but after God, full of life and color and

meaning. I sought Him with all my heart and He has taken it from there.

You have been through some rough times, and yes, you do need peace in your

life. We all need to find that place of rest and dwell there. Even in

turmoil, there are peaceful places to rest our souls...I do hope you find

that place. Mine is under the protective wings of Almighty God. I hope

you also find a place that you can be sure is a place of rest and solace

when you need it.

It is good to know you are well now and have come through alright. Please

don't ever try to hurt yourself again...that is not the answer. I'll be

praying for you.

Love,

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: <eRene@...>

<SalineInfo >; < >

Sent: Saturday, December 08, 2001 11:16 PM

Subject: (unknown)

> To All,

>

> I am a little hesitant to write anything, but I felt it

> my duty to let you all know I am alive. Yes, you were

> all correct in assuming I had hurt myself. The last wk

> I spent in ICU, finally getting out Wed and returning to

> work Thurs.

>

> What I want to convey is thank you for your concern,

> although I feel your concern for me has come at a cost

> to the groups, and I never intended that at all. I

> simply intended to die and be done with all the

> miserable pain and agony that is my life. I am not

> getting better and in fact found out that I have

> worsened degenerative disk disease in my back, as well

> as a question of osteoporosis. In addition I have

> several herniated disks in my spine from T-12 down to S-

> 1, with a disk at the lumbar/sacral area causing nerve

> root compression. I am also waiting for xray and CT

> results of my C-spine.

>

> However, it was not just my health that prompted me to

> take drastic action. I have been grieving the loss of 5

> friends in the WTC collapse, the death of my

> grandparents within 4 days of each other, finding out

> friends that I thought were " true " friends were only

> fair weather friends, and doctors that are suddenly

> giving me the run around. Needless to say, I found my

> coping skills nonexistent, and everything just became

> too overwhelming.

>

> I am so sorry to have caused everyone such worry, and

> believe me, I never wanted fighting to begin amongst

> everyone. In reading the posts, I can only cry because

> it is all my fault. Please accept my apologies.

>

> That said, the peacefulness that I experienced while in

> ICU was so nice--a far cry from the hell I have been

> living in for the last 1.5 months. I want to have that

> peace again, and maybe someday I will. Without friends

> to bounce things off of, to discuss issues with, and to

> seek guidance from, all I have is myself and my self

> hatred and low self esteem.

>

> Again, please accept my apologies for any turmoil I

> caused. I don't want anyone to hate me or be disgusted

> by me.

>

> e

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

e,

Don't shoulder guilt. Obviously you were hurting, and I am just glad you are

alive. I will be praying for you.

Ultimately, no one is responsible for your actions, and you are not

responsible for our actions. WE all must face responsibility for our

behavior and not put blame on anyone. The main thing is that we are united

and show LOVE and COMPASSION for one another.

I just hope you are getting along better and will have the ability to face

the days ahead.

Love,

El

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