Re: A day of mixed feelings

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/16/2002 11:08:00 PM Central Standard Time,

linman42@... writes:

> First of all, a girl in her class and her have become " friends " . well her

> friend was on the other bus and she was stuck with me. I could see how the

> other 5th graders interact with each other. I mean, they include amanda

> but

> just to " be nice " . She was happy though when i had a small group in the

> space museum and 3 girls were with us and one is her new friend. her

> friend

> also ate dinner with us which was nice too.

>

> But it is still heartbreaking to see try and fit in and be accepted.

>

> She got into a group photo a few times and the kids were encouraging her to

> be in it, but then that was it.

Hi

You hit in on the nose when you said " she was happy though "

We must remember not to judge what we " see " as relationships as to what our

kids see. Sara has neighborhood friends (on her street friends lol), a friend

who has ds and then she has school friends. Sara is quite content with her

relationships, no matter how deep they are....this is what she wants and

requires. What I want out of a relationship is not what Sara wants or

needs..........really we do share one common need.........only a few close

friendships and LOTS of acquaintance

I know its hard for parents to see their child as to not being as social as

they are but remember unless they complain Im guessing they are happy IMHO

Kathy mom to Sara 10............I have zero friendships with my old school

mates, my needs have changes over what.......the 2 yrs out of HS heehee NOT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/16/2002 11:08:00 PM Central Standard Time,

linman42@... writes:

> Another side which I am not too happy about is that she could be VERY

> difficult. She was fighting with me because i was holding her camera to

> take

> pictures. She was mad at me because it was hot. She wouldnt stand near me

> at times (we were in the nation's capital!!!!!!!!) She locked herself in

> the

> bathroom and caused a scene. They didnt put her video on and she

> complained

> and whined.

>

> Well all the above sounds very typical to me and you will say so too.

Heehee , I forgot to mention that I am soooooooo TICKLED to hear other

kids are ornery too lolol especially kids as good as lololol

Kathy mom to Sara 10...........she's got the skill of aggravating me down

pat.......in IEP terms this is " mastered " lol

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

Yeah all kids are " good " when they're not yours!

[Guest guest]

Hi

When my son went into 7th grade they did the same sort of thing. My son came

home saying " I hate school " " Mommy no friends " Yes my heart was broken. This

year he was put into more reg. Ed classes but the gap is getting so wide now.

He does see his friends a lot during the day but they no longer eat lunch

with him, but stop to say Hi. He now eats more with the Special kids(sigh).

He does group work well in reg. Ed classes. but he is lost with the lectures.

Next year things will have to change to more individual learning. Am I happy?

No, but I have to look at everything and pick what works best for him.

1) Science will be one class

2) A literacy program one and one (worked great for him this year after we

took him out of the reg. Ed English class where the teacher told me " He just

doesn't get 8th grade english " ,Hmm who doesn't get what??)

3) 1/4 classes some of which will included Circle of friends but reg. Ed

Keyboarding and art

4) Gym and study

5) Speech and study

6) Special math

7) one on one class work help

I want to use some of the studies to do some investigative work on learning

how to run the Xerox machine and doing that kind of help to learn a job.

Working in the school store. I want some afterschool work for community

skills and job seeking. Yes, he will be out of the reg. classes more but he

will also be seeing his reg. Ed friends in most of this stuff.

Jeannette

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/18/02 3:56:59 PM Central Daylight Time, linman42@...

writes:

> Kathy,

> Yeah all kids are " good " when they're not yours!

>

>

>

Yes, but they aren't as cute!! Our own are always the cutest, and

prettiest, and smartest, etc. Love, Jessie

[Guest guest]

Caiti is 11. She has been in a " normal " class for all of her

life....until this year. This year she has been in an Intensive

Learning Class which has turned out to be Life Skills much of the

time. Caiti hates it. She has had a year of hating school and

driving me crazy because she only tells her aide and I and you know

how that makes US look. Anyway. All year she has wanted to be with

her friends from last year. She misses them immensely. No, these

kids do not associate with Caiti outside of school. I have told them

they are welcome any time to my home as alot of them live around the

corner and such. So far no one has taken me up on it. But these

relationships are important to Caiti. Whether I see them as

superficial or not. She doesn't. Next year will be better. I have

done my best to make sure of that this time. Her IEP will not be

until August. I have a parent advocate that knows her stuff. We

had a meeting yesterday -- the sped coord, the inclusion teacher for

the district, myself and Caiti's aide(who is also her godmother).

It was a bunch of appeasement -- they thought. They remember me

from last year right after the fire. They are about to meet a brand

new me. I told them that I want her in a regular 6th grade with

modifications and accomondations. They say it can be done but she

will not pass the State testing. She is a concrete thinker not a

critical thinker. State testing no longer allows you to change the

language that they use. I don't think she passed this year. Last

year she was in the upper 50th percentile. I don't know who to get

on about that one. The compromise was that Caiti will be in the

life skills class and in regular ed. Supposedly the best of both

worlds. It has never been done at our school. They said that they

couldn't be sure that life skills wouldn't be working on academics

when Caiti was in there. I told them " accomondations " . I was not

about to back down any more. I'm tired and ticked.....and want

Caiti to be able to renew her friendships. This year the life

skills class did everything with the sixth graders. She has seen

none of her friends. The kids see her some at breakfast and stop

and talk. Her aide tries to make sure she sees them some times. If

she does all of her work all week long she is allowed to go to

recess on Friday with the 5th graders. I told them that this should

not be an incentive...it is her right.

Sorry, got off on another track. I was trying to talk about

friendship.

Also, Caiti gets cranky too. I am no longer allowed to hold her

hand if anyone is near. Too much noise and she runs for cover--

under a desk or bleachers or out the door. She is starting to

develop.....a bra for my 4' daughter. Puberty does not help!!

Sue

[Guest guest]

You Go Sue:-) I think you need to do what you feel is

best for your Caiti and if it's something that is

smothering her, with the new class this year, I would

stop it too. I have a long way to go before

enters school (just 8mos.) but I think it's very

important to be strong advocates for our children and

do what we feel is best for them, not what anyone else

feels is best. I'm all for " input " from others. That

always helps me anyway, but the ultimate decision for

her should be with you:-) I just wanted you to know, I

feel the same as you and you go:-) Let us know how it

all turns out. Thanks. Take care and God Bless,

Joy-Mom

to 6 and counting:-)

--- caitismom2000 <caitismom2000@...> wrote:

> Caiti is 11. She has been in a " normal " class for

> all of her

> life....until this year. This year she has been in

> an Intensive

> Learning Class which has turned out to be Life

> Skills much of the

> time. Caiti hates it. She has had a year of hating

> school and

> driving me crazy because she only tells her aide and

> I and you know

> how that makes US look. Anyway. All year she has

> wanted to be with

> her friends from last year. She misses them

> immensely. No, these

> kids do not associate with Caiti outside of school.

> I have told them

> they are welcome any time to my home as alot of them

> live around the

> corner and such. So far no one has taken me up on

> it. But these

> relationships are important to Caiti. Whether I see

> them as

> superficial or not. She doesn't. Next year will be

> better. I have

> done my best to make sure of that this time. Her

> IEP will not be

> until August. I have a parent advocate that knows

> her stuff. We

> had a meeting yesterday -- the sped coord, the

> inclusion teacher for

> the district, myself and Caiti's aide(who is also

> her godmother).

> It was a bunch of appeasement -- they thought. They

> remember me

> from last year right after the fire. They are about

> to meet a brand

> new me. I told them that I want her in a regular

> 6th grade with

> modifications and accomondations. They say it can

> be done but she

> will not pass the State testing. She is a concrete

> thinker not a

> critical thinker. State testing no longer allows

> you to change the

> language that they use. I don't think she passed

> this year. Last

> year she was in the upper 50th percentile. I don't

> know who to get

> on about that one. The compromise was that Caiti

> will be in the

> life skills class and in regular ed. Supposedly the

> best of both

> worlds. It has never been done at our school. They

> said that they

> couldn't be sure that life skills wouldn't be

> working on academics

> when Caiti was in there. I told them

> " accomondations " . I was not

> about to back down any more. I'm tired and

> ticked.....and want

> Caiti to be able to renew her friendships. This

> year the life

> skills class did everything with the sixth graders.

> She has seen

> none of her friends. The kids see her some at

> breakfast and stop

> and talk. Her aide tries to make sure she sees them

> some times. If

> she does all of her work all week long she is

> allowed to go to

> recess on Friday with the 5th graders. I told them

> that this should

> not be an incentive...it is her right.

> Sorry, got off on another track. I was trying to

> talk about

> friendship.

> Also, Caiti gets cranky too. I am no longer

> allowed to hold her

> hand if anyone is near. Too much noise and she runs

> for cover--

> under a desk or bleachers or out the door. She is

> starting to

> develop.....a bra for my 4' daughter. Puberty does

> not help!!

>

> Sue

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Jeanette,

Those are great points too, and I am learning

soo much here. I'm glad I'm on the list, so hopefully

I'll know somewhat how to handle all of this when

is older:-) Thanks. Take care and God Bless,

Joy-Mom to 6 and counting

--- angel2cook@... wrote:

> Hi

> When my son went into 7th grade they did the same

> sort of thing. My son came

> home saying " I hate school " " Mommy no friends " Yes

> my heart was broken. This

> year he was put into more reg. Ed classes but the

> gap is getting so wide now.

> He does see his friends a lot during the day but

> they no longer eat lunch

> with him, but stop to say Hi. He now eats more with

> the Special kids(sigh).

> He does group work well in reg. Ed classes. but he

> is lost with the lectures.

> Next year things will have to change to more

> individual learning. Am I happy?

> No, but I have to look at everything and pick what

> works best for him.

> 1) Science will be one class

> 2) A literacy program one and one (worked great for

> him this year after we

> took him out of the reg. Ed English class where the

> teacher told me " He just

> doesn't get 8th grade english " ,Hmm who doesn't get

> what??)

> 3) 1/4 classes some of which will included Circle of

> friends but reg. Ed

> Keyboarding and art

> 4) Gym and study

> 5) Speech and study

> 6) Special math

> 7) one on one class work help

>

> I want to use some of the studies to do some

> investigative work on learning

> how to run the Xerox machine and doing that kind of

> help to learn a job.

> Working in the school store. I want some afterschool

> work for community

> skills and job seeking. Yes, he will be out of the

> reg. classes more but he

> will also be seeing his reg. Ed friends in most of

> this stuff.

> Jeannette

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________