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Calling my doc tomorrow.

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Things are really bad at the moment :-( I can manage to eat about 3 sandwiches a day and that's it. I have lost 8 pounds in two weeks and I know I have to call my doc again. But it is freaking me out though ! My last stay in the hospital is still very fresh in my mind and the only thing I can do when I think about a repeat is cry ! I cry all day long :-( I cannot understand why this is happening to me........why can't I enjoy life and esp, enjoy my young family !!! My little boy is celebrating his first birthday this thursday and I cannot even take a bit of his birthdaycake !!! Why am I robbed of special moments like that !?!?!?! It is just not fair. I have sooo many questions and no-one can answer them ! Having achalasia is so frustrating. I really thought that the Heller would improve my life and I could start being a mom for my little boy and start taking care of him. But no ! Horrible achalasia is ruining things once again !!!!! All my dreams & hopes are just shattered !!

Well, here I go again.........the tests, probably dilation.......maybe 2nd heller or removal of my esophagus. Oh, how wonderfull ! NOT !!! I cannot see any of those things bringing any improvement anymore.

I am just sooooooooooooooooooo scared !! I wanna scream HELP but there is no-one out there who can help me ! I feel so lost. I just wanna crawl into a corner and fade away. Just disappear.

I'd better go. Edwin will be home soon. Jasper is staying at his grandparents 'till wednesday. I feel like calling my mom now.

Hugs,

Biancka

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Biancka wrote:

....

I cannot see any of those things bringing any improvement anymore.

....

Hello, Biancka.

I believe the day is coming when you will be better. I believe there will

be a treatment and you will be better. Sure, it is easy for me to say.

Even so, I do believe.

notan

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Hi Bianka

Sorry to hear that things still arent going so well. Hang in there

you will get through it, try to be positive. I know it is so hard.

Things are going down hill for me as well. My symptoms are getting

worse, I still dont have a surgery date, my husband broke his foot

and I have to look after our three kids all by myself while he is on

the couch and to top it all off I feel like I am coming down with a

cold. I just keep telling myself that it cant get worse and that

things have to get better. Look after yourself Bianka.

Biljana

> Things are really bad at the moment :-( I can manage to eat about

3 sandwiches a day and that's it. I have lost 8 pounds in two weeks

and I know I have to call my doc again. But it is freaking me out

though ! My last stay in the hospital is still very fresh in my mind

and the only thing I can do when I think about a repeat is cry ! I

cry all day long :-( I cannot understand why this is happening to

me........why can't I enjoy life and esp, enjoy my young family !!!

My little boy is celebrating his first birthday this thursday and I

cannot even take a bit of his birthdaycake !!! Why am I robbed of

special moments like that !?!?!?! It is just not fair. I have sooo

many questions and no-one can answer them ! Having achalasia is so

frustrating. I really thought that the Heller would improve my life

and I could start being a mom for my little boy and start taking

care of him. But no ! Horrible achalasia is ruining things once

again !!!!! All my dreams & hopes are just shattered !!

>

> Well, here I go again.........the tests, probably

dilation.......maybe 2nd heller or removal of my esophagus. Oh, how

wonderfull ! NOT !!! I cannot see any of those things bringing any

improvement anymore.

>

> I am just sooooooooooooooooooo scared !! I wanna scream HELP but

there is no-one out there who can help me ! I feel so lost. I just

wanna crawl into a corner and fade away. Just disappear.

>

> I'd better go. Edwin will be home soon. Jasper is staying at his

grandparents 'till wednesday. I feel like calling my mom now.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Biancka

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