Re: Off Topic: Achalasian Humor

[Guest guest]

I went to the doctor and told him I had difficulty swallowing and a

tightness in my chest. He told me I had to have my tonsils out. I

felt better for a while. But, soon the problems returned.

I went to second doctor and told him I had difficulty swallowing and

a tightness in my chest. He told me I had to have my wisdom teeth

out. I felt better for a while. But, soon the problems returned.

I went to third doctor and told him I had difficulty swallowing and a

tightness in my chest. He told me I had six months to live. I decided

to live it up. I hired a limo driver to drive me everywhere, a

personal assistant to pamper me and a tailor to make me new clothes.

I went to tailor and he measured me for new shirts.

" Arm-length 32, neck 17 "

" Wait " I told him " I wear a size 15 1/2 neck "

" I'll measure again... neck 17 inches "

" But I always wear a size 15 and 1/2 neck "

" Listen " says the frustrated tailor " If you wear a size 15 and 1/2

neck you'll have difficulty swallowing and a tightness in your

chest.... "

[Guest guest]

That was absolutely funny :)

I will save this one for when I need to laugh!!

Thanks!

Genia

> You know you're an Achalasian when...

>

> ...the worst part of donating blood to the Red Cross is when they

> make you eat cookies and juice afterward.

>

> ...you eat a bowl of tofu from the salad bar and you're not on a

diet.

>

> ...you stop your spouse from throwing out the flat soda so you can

> have something around the house to drink.

[Guest guest]

You know you're an Achalasian when...

....The waiter asks you what you would like with your coffee and you

answer water.

[Guest guest]

> You know you're an Achalasian when...

>

> ...the worst part of donating blood to the Red Cross is when they

> make you eat cookies and juice afterward.

>

> ...you eat a bowl of tofu from the salad bar and you're not on a

diet.

>

> ...you stop your spouse from throwing out the flat soda so you can

> have something around the house to drink.

I had to laugh because the Red Cross one is totally true for me.

They really get on you about drinking, even during the procedure,

which for me was bad because you're sort of reclined, and you're

sitting there with a needle in your arm so it's not like you can jump

up quickly if you need to.

The last time they gave me water during the procedure I took it but

didn't drink it. When the gal asked why I just said I didn't like it

so cold and she accepted that with no problems.

I used to bring my own water bottle for afterward, which helped a

lot, too.

Since my myotomy I don't have to worry so much about this, which is

great, but it's surprising what you worry about when you have A.

in WI