About Flatback-Revised, Bad Feelings, Flames, & (What??) Decoupo-mania? .

[Guest guest]

Some of our members have mentioned the group " Flatback-Revised "

and have also expressed the hope that I would participate. I want to

explain why I might seem to be " boycotting " this newer group, when

that has actually been the farthest thing from my intentions!

The Flatback-Revised (for short, I'll call it F-R) group was started

last summer by some disgruntled Feisty members following a very

difficult and acrimonious period in our history. Such times are

almost inevitable in any large and popular online forum where there

are many strong personalities and diverse, passionate opinions -- at

least in my experience -- and moderators must sometimes grow very

thick skins! This particular bruhaha got stirred up after Feisty had

been going strong for about five years -- we got an influx of new

members, and all kinds of new stresses ensued.

Toward the end of this period, some of the mail was so destructive --

not at all in keeping with our unwritten Feisty policy of avoiding

flame wars and trying to provide compassionate support for one

another -- that I actually took the step of deleting some of the

most offensive messages. I admit it: I was steamed. I am not usually

in the business of deleting or censoring posts, but this thing had

gotten truly out of hand.

Anyway . . . I'm glad to see what good has come from all that

transient unpleasantness. I'm especially impressed at the high level

of activity at the new group, with many sociable posts flying back

and forth each day. The one reservation I've heard is that new

members may feel somewhat intimidated by the existing sociable

network(s) at the group, people's public arrangements for meeting

with small groups of friends from the group, etc. -- an issue people

were also raising with me a this group after some of the sociable F-

R ladies first arrived at our group and began forming an ad hoc

group-within-the group! I do not think they meant to be exclusive,

but some people felt very bad about it, and I think I finally

requested that they try to arrange their meetings via private email.

There were other isssues, too, and perhaps I did not handle things

as well as I could have.

I'm happy to see any flatback forums or resources coming into

creation -- a sign of the times, in contrast to the years when there

was next to nothing about flatback anywhere on the Web. And the F-R

group has grown to a nice size, 234 as of today. (I also checked our

own stats while I was at it -- we are currently sagging a bit, at

505 members. C'est la vie in the world of the group.)

The moderators at Flatback-Revised still have Feisty memberships and

are welcome to post here any time. But a couple months ago, I

learned that the moderator did not want me to post at that group.

Rather than participating in any discussion of a flatback-related

issue, she asked that I send a private email with my input to the

person who had initiated the issue -- something like that. Evidently

the two posts I had sent as my contribution to a couple of

interesting discussions there were forwarded as private emails, or

at least one of them was -- I never saw the other one again. I was

very sorry to learn that people still harbor ill feelings toward

other people with flatback syndrome. Life is too short.

The woman who forbade me to post at F-R was actually a terrifically

creative, active, spirited, and witty contributor to this group, and

I will always be grateful for her prodigious archiving of important

Feisty resource materials.

BTW: The biggest group I belong to right now is actually one

for " decoupeurs " -- people who enjoy pasting stuff on other stuff,

often glass plates. (I joined at the end of some weeks of

frustration while trying to decoupage my own plate -- a birthday

gift to my brother I feared would never get done, given my general

klutz syndrome.) They have well over 1,000 members, including a

number of lively and articulate Australians who seem mad about this

craft and use many quaint-sounding products. They bill themselves as

a truly fun and happy group, and I get the impression that they

actually are. Of course it is easier to be happy about pasting

beautiful designs on the backs of glass plates than about having

your spine surgically fractured and remade in the image of your

revision surgeon . . .

Anyway, that's the story, to the best of my knowledge. I do try to

keep up with the other posts at F-R, but I guess I will not be

posting there -- not through any choice of my own.

Best,

[Guest guest]

, Re: the "F-R" site...just sounds like sour grapes on their part to me! I happen to remember that brohaha, as you so aptly called it, and you were absolutly right to ask for the private e-mails. Many of us did feel excluded from the Feisty group as it seemed to become quite exclusive. And some of the inflammatory comments made during that time were unnecessary too,as I recall! I'm sure I speak for all when I thank you for your excellent moderatoring skills here. All the best, Beth

Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

It is obvious that the F-R moderator/owner wants only those who

share her opinions to post on that site.

I question any group that is started out of spite.

I hope we can take the higher road and not dwell anymore on this. I

don't want to be like the F-R group in which I have seen some strong

words posted over there about this group.

You can diplomatically call it creative or whatever but that is way

more credit than deserved.

Joylnn

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much, Jolynn -- and also, once again, congratulations on

your ongoing remarkable, brave, feisty recovery from revision surgery!

You continue to astonish and awe me.

Best,

>

> It is obvious that the F-R moderator/owner wants only those who

> share her opinions to post on that site.

>

> I question any group that is started out of spite.

>

> I hope we can take the higher road and not dwell anymore on this. I

> don't want to be like the F-R group in which I have seen some strong

> words posted over there about this group.

>

> You can diplomatically call it creative or whatever but that is way

> more credit than deserved.

>

> Joylnn

>