2 Year Bandaversary - Long & XX Posted

[Guest guest]

Happy 2 year bandaversary to & I!! , I know if you

post a 2 year reflection, you will so much more eloquent than I - but

that's OK. It just goes to show how different yet the same this

process is for us all. Thank you for being there with me these last

two years and I look forward to many more years with you as my friend.

It's been 2 years since my banding and I've been dong alot of

reflecting about my life before and sincy my surgery.

I spent a good (?) 20 years being fat. I hated it. I hated the way

I looked and felt; I hated being the fattest mom; the fattest woman

at my husband's company functions and I hated feeling like a fat

amazon when I stood next to my short skinny best friend.

I wasn't an obese child. I wasn't physically, emotionally, or

secually abused. I liked food and I ate alot of it. If there was

some deep psychological reason why I got fat - I have no idea what it

was. If it is in there - it is buried so damn deep I'll never find

it - and I don't give a rip becuase I'm thin now. Druing the weight

loss process I didn't mourn the food I could no longer eat. The joy

of the pounds coming off was much greater than any sadness I felt

about having to eat different. I'm not the kind of person who thinks

alot about the past. And that is probably because I don't have lots

of bad crap from my past to come back and haunt me. I hurt for those

of you who do. It makes it harder to just enjoy this shedding

process.

I have had so much fun in the last two years. Finding the old me

that was buried under 20 years of obesity has been nothing but total

joy. I knew I was unhappy and depressed because I was obese. But,

it wasn't until I started to shed the weight that I realized how

unhappy I was and the affect my unhappiness had on everyone around me.

My husband has been there and loved me through " thick & thin " for

almost 34 years. I wish I could get back those 20 years because I

had put shuch a thick wall around myself - I wouldn't even let him in

most of the time. I felt so bad about myself and the way I looked -

it was just easier to push him away and try to put the blame on him

for the way I felt. I can see that now, but I sure coudn't at the

time.

After losing 135# I feel good! I like myself and the way I look.

Feeling better about myslef has and an incredible affect on all

aspects of my life. I'm happier and so is everyone around me. When

we are unhappy and miserable, we can make life for those around us

pretty niserable too. Just ask Ray - he'll tell you. For those of

you who have someone special in your life, someone who is sharing

this whole banding process with you - share it all with them. Let

them see the joy you are experiencing, have fun, laugh and enjoy all

the new things you can now do.

When I think about my life as it is now - it is scary to think where

I would be if I hadn't had WLS. I think I would be in a hold I might

never have dug myself out of. Life is so good now. Sometimes I feel

guilty because I am just so DAMN HAPPY!! Then I think - BULL, I

deserve this, I earned it and by God, I'm going to enjoy it. And

enjoy it - I AM!!!

I'm healthy; I'm happy; I'm enjoying a life with my husband I had

forgotten was even possible. I have a whole new " family " of bandster

friends that I am so thankfulfor. Without the support of my husband,

my family and my bandster family - this last two years would not have

been the joy it has turned out to be.

Thank you to all of you who have been there for me, loved me and

helped me to become the person I am today.

Elma in Graham, Wa

Banded 2/27/01

Dr Rumbaut

300/165/??

Size 28/Size 10