Re: Boy am I disappointed!

[Guest guest]

, this is not a race, your 5 # a month is just right. We never

want as much fill as we can possibly tolerate - that leads to

problems, and the need for unfills or band removal in some cases.

Your doc is wise. I'm sure you knew that the band loss is slow and

safe - 1-2 # a week. And you do need to wkr at it - the band and

fills is not the entire solution, EVER.

Work on the things YOU need to provide, and you'll be fine. I'm sure

there are things you can improve to lose a bit more - we ALL have

things we can improve!

Sandy r

>

> I am so disappointed/angry I could cry - actually I have.

>

> Went to the Doc today for my 3rd fill and he refused to fill me !

I

> NEVER expected that! Because I've been following the band rules

and

> I've lost 5 pounds in the last month - he said the band is doing

what

> it is suppose to be doing so I don't need a fill.

>

> I realize I " m only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but I had

> really hoped for TWO pounds a week - not ONE. Sh*t what did I need

> surgery for then? To lose a lousy 5 pounds a month? I still have

> 130 pounds to go - At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO

> YEARS ! I'm not getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).

>

> The doctor said he saw no reason to give me a fill. I've lost 5

> pounds, I'm following the band rules, I feel restriction if I do

> something wrong like eat too fast or drink liquids...so why should

he

> fill me?

>

> I tried to explain to him that I can still eat TOO MUCH! I thought

> the band would restrict my stomach size? I still have to FORCE

> myself to stop eating at a certain amount. Hell that is just like

> dieting ! How long can I keep this up? I worked really hard for

> that 5 pounds; water aerobics, weights, treadmill etc. For 5 lousy

> pounds and feeling hungry all the time?

>

> Knowing what I know now....I would have definitely chosen RNY - at

> least with that you have the malabsorption going for you.

>

> I just wanted a tiny fill....I feel like I'm so close but not quite

> there. He said he doesn't need to see me for three months unless I

> stop losing or start gaining then I can have a fill.

>

> I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs

and

> ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear you feeling this way. I know everyone writes back with their

helpful well wishing and all but I'd just like to say " I'm hearing you sister " .

As you, I am also disappointed with my results and thought the lapband was my

solution to weight loss and not just a " tool " as most on the site suggest. After

my second fill, I wasn't scheduled for another visit for 1 month but as I still

had no restriction I phoned after 2 weeks and made another appointment. Here I

am today 4 fills down and still no restriction. Unlike you I have never really

started to lose weight. I'm feeling and eating as I was before the op. I have

rheumatoid arthritis, especially in my feet, and cannot exercise so I am really

relying on the band. I am 42 with 2 very young girls and like you may have gone

for the different op if I had realised the problems with the band. What can we

do now? Not much so I guess we just have to keep pushing the docs for fills.

Good luck

[Guest guest]

....

> I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs

and

> ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

>

>

*****

Forgive me , but this is not how you work WITH the band. We all

have our ups and downs while being banded. And it is when we work

with the Band that we find success from the band. Believe in

yourself and keep working with the Band. I know you got the Band to

loose weight but try to consider that you got the Band so that you

will be around and healthy to play with your kids. To Watch them

graduate from Elementary, High School and College. To be here when

they give you Grandkids. May God bless you and give you patience and

strength to be successful with the Band.

Dr. Spiegel

05/17/2006

367/254/245

[Guest guest]

Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have an egg

size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat large

amounts, albeit smaller than before.

I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my 3rd

fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat too fast

(big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given it, I

lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got it. The

doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I was

denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER works -

our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is DIETING -

the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all I get

is pain when I eat too fast.

I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and starting

following them to the letter like I did in the very beginning. I do

water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat the

right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for improvement) -

I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left short

of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my journey and

I don't understand why.

People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not - I can

eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then cause I

know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however the band

is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but what is

it doing? I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working hard.

The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is suppose to

be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me full

longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I want to

lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be at

least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week. I really believed 10 pounds

a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this early in

the game. My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this early.

I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I thought I

was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties slower -

I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I have and

are working on them.

I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make it

easier.

> >

> > I am so disappointed/angry I could cry - actually I have.

> >

> > Went to the Doc today for my 3rd fill and he refused to fill

me !

> I

> > NEVER expected that! Because I've been following the band rules

> and

> > I've lost 5 pounds in the last month - he said the band is doing

> what

> > it is suppose to be doing so I don't need a fill.

> >

> > I realize I " m only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but I had

> > really hoped for TWO pounds a week - not ONE. Sh*t what did I

need

> > surgery for then? To lose a lousy 5 pounds a month? I still

have

> > 130 pounds to go - At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO

> > YEARS ! I'm not getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).

> >

> > The doctor said he saw no reason to give me a fill. I've lost 5

> > pounds, I'm following the band rules, I feel restriction if I do

> > something wrong like eat too fast or drink liquids...so why

should

> he

> > fill me?

> >

> > I tried to explain to him that I can still eat TOO MUCH! I

thought

> > the band would restrict my stomach size? I still have to FORCE

> > myself to stop eating at a certain amount. Hell that is just

like

> > dieting ! How long can I keep this up? I worked really hard for

> > that 5 pounds; water aerobics, weights, treadmill etc. For 5

lousy

> > pounds and feeling hungry all the time?

> >

> > Knowing what I know now....I would have definitely chosen RNY -

at

> > least with that you have the malabsorption going for you.

> >

> > I just wanted a tiny fill....I feel like I'm so close but not

quite

> > there. He said he doesn't need to see me for three months unless

I

> > stop losing or start gaining then I can have a fill.

> >

> > I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs

> and

> > ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>> At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO YEARS ! I'm not

getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).<<

And what will you weigh in two years if you keep eating Mc's

" happy " meals?

I also know the REAL consequences of getting too tight. I had a

prolapse, regained 30 pounds, had to have my band removed for six

months, and regained another twenty in that time. If I'd stayed at a

lower fill level I'd have reached my goal weight three years ago -- even

at a " lousy five pounds " a month. Instead I was set back almost to where

I was four years ago!! And I'm 65 now!! Talk about not getting any

younger.

You need to get serious with yourself. Are you in this for life or do

you think of it as just another diet? Maybe you can still eat too much

but because you can doesn't mean you should. The idea isn't to see how

much you can eat but how little you can eat and still be satisfied (not

stuffed, not even FULL). And yes, you're still going to have to work for

every pound.

Get calm. Get focussed. And resolve not to treat YOUR body like a

garbage can (eating at Mcs) when you're mad at someone else.

Punishing yourself is a vicious cycle that never improves until you

decide NOT to do it anymore. You deserve so much better. Your body isn't

the enemy.

My nephew died yesterday, alone in his apartment, of complications of

diabetes. He was 47 years old. He spent his life punishing himself and

destroying his body because he could not accept his illness. You and I

and everyone else on this board have a life-long, life threatening

illness. The band offers us a way to cope and even overcome our

condition. Or we can refuse to accept the necessity of working with the

band and die before our time. Like my nephew, we didn't get to choose

our problem but we can choose how we want to deal with it.

I wish you the best,

SharonC in BC

Second Surgery 6/7/07

Restriction 8/30/07

249/220/145

[Guest guest]

people probably won't like this advice but....

Stop " Dieting " and let the pouch do its job, if it doesn't you will gain a

little weight and you can go back to the doc and say " see this isn't working "

and get your fill.

Thats just the way my mind works.

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " cindywebb1667 " <cindywebb1667@...>

Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have an egg

size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat large

amounts, albeit smaller than before.

I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my 3rd

fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat too fast

(big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given it, I

lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got it. The

doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I was

denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER works -

our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is DIETING -

the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all I get

is pain when I eat too fast.

I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and starting

following them to the letter like I did in the very beginning. I do

water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat the

right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for improvement) -

I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left short

of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my journey and

I don't understand why.

People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not - I can

eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then cause I

know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however the band

is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but what is

it doing? I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working hard.

The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is suppose to

be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me full

longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I want to

lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be at

least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week. I really believed 10 pounds

a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this early in

the game. My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this early.

I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I thought I

was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties slower -

I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I have and

are working on them.

I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make it

easier.

> >

> > I am so disappointed/angry I could cry - actually I have.

> >

> > Went to the Doc today for my 3rd fill and he refused to fill

me !

> I

> > NEVER expected that! Because I've been following the band rules

> and

> > I've lost 5 pounds in the last month - he said the band is doing

> what

> > it is suppose to be doing so I don't need a fill.

> >

> > I realize I " m only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but I had

> > really hoped for TWO pounds a week - not ONE. Sh*t what did I

need

> > surgery for then? To lose a lousy 5 pounds a month? I still

have

> > 130 pounds to go - At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO

> > YEARS ! I'm not getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).

> >

> > The doctor said he saw no reason to give me a fill. I've lost 5

> > pounds, I'm following the band rules, I feel restriction if I do

> > something wrong like eat too fast or drink liquids...so why

should

> he

> > fill me?

> >

> > I tried to explain to him that I can still eat TOO MUCH! I

thought

> > the band would restrict my stomach size? I still have to FORCE

> > myself to stop eating at a certain amount. Hell that is just

like

> > dieting ! How long can I keep this up? I worked really hard for

> > that 5 pounds; water aerobics, weights, treadmill etc. For 5

lousy

> > pounds and feeling hungry all the time?

> >

> > Knowing what I know now....I would have definitely chosen RNY -

at

> > least with that you have the malabsorption going for you.

> >

> > I just wanted a tiny fill....I feel like I'm so close but not

quite

> > there. He said he doesn't need to see me for three months unless

I

> > stop losing or start gaining then I can have a fill.

> >

> > I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs

> and

> > ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

> >

> > :(

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hello cindywebb1667,

Monday, October 15, 2007, 7:37:45 PM, you wrote:

> I am so disappointed/angry I could cry - actually I have.

We all have those emotional moments. They're one of the toughest

things about being banded. Yes, men cry too.

> Went to the Doc today for my 3rd fill and he refused to fill me ! I

> NEVER expected that! Because I've been following the band rules and

> I've lost 5 pounds in the last month - he said the band is doing what

> it is suppose to be doing so I don't need a fill.

That doesn't sound unusual to me. Many docs will only give a fill if

you're not losing.

> I realize I " m only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but I had

> really hoped for TWO pounds a week - not ONE.

One to two is average. Is there any reason to think you'd be at the

high end of average

> Sh*t what did I need

> surgery for then? To lose a lousy 5 pounds a month?

Have you ever lost that before? AND KEPT IT OFF?

> I still have

> 130 pounds to go - At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO

> YEARS ! I'm not getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).

So what? You didn't put it on in less than two years, did you? I

didn't think so.

> The doctor said he saw no reason to give me a fill. I've lost 5

> pounds, I'm following the band rules, I feel restriction if I do

> something wrong like eat too fast or drink liquids...so why should he

> fill me?

YOU HAVE RESTRICTION. You do NOT want your band too tight. Been

there, done that, and then you often get into the too much, too

little, too much, too little, and you may never get it right.

The band is TEACHING you what to do from what you say above. So it is

doing its job.

> I tried to explain to him that I can still eat TOO MUCH! I thought

> the band would restrict my stomach size? I still have to FORCE

> myself to stop eating at a certain amount.

Yes, learning new habits is a real bitch. After more than four years

I still have to do that on occasion. I know what will happen if I

don't. Same reason I don't stick my hand in the fire.

> Hell that is just like

> dieting ! How long can I keep this up? I worked really hard for

> that 5 pounds; water aerobics, weights, treadmill etc. For 5 lousy

> pounds and feeling hungry all the time?

That sounds good. Are you eating proper foods to help keep you full?

Are you SURE you're dealing with physical hunger isntead of emotional

hunger?

> Knowing what I know now....I would have definitely chosen RNY - at

> least with that you have the malabsorption going for you.

Yeah, and that malabsorption lasts for a couple of years. A great

many bypass people lose the malabsorption as their body adapts.

You're also likely to have a lifetime of diarrhea and incredible

flatulence...the room clearing kind.

> I just wanted a tiny fill....I feel like I'm so close but not quite

> there. He said he doesn't need to see me for three months unless I

> stop losing or start gaining then I can have a fill.

How do you know you're not quite there when you've never been there

before?

> I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs and

> ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

Once again, just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD. You could

also go out and drink ten milkshakes and eat a gallon of ice cream if

you really want to " prove something " . Would that make you happy?

Didn't think so.

dan

[Guest guest]

Hello cindywebb1667,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 5:23:06 PM, you wrote:

> Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

It isn't really. I know lots of bypass people and many of them that

lose that fast look like death warmed over. They're not getting good

nutrition and are NOT in good health. They take massive supplements

forever.

> This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have an egg

> size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat large

> amounts, albeit smaller than before.

Well, yes, depending on what you eat, you can cram more in there,

especially if you're not tight. Are you eating solid foods that will

fill you up, not drinking with or after meals, etc?

> I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my 3rd

> fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat too fast

> (big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given it, I

> lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got it. The

> doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I was

> denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

You chose that doc and you have to accept his judgment. Many or most

of us would agree with him. Many of us got our fat asses in trouble

by thinking we were smarter than our Health teachers, our spouses, our

doctors, and so forth. Pretty damn smart, aren't we? Yeah, right.

> I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER works -

> our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is DIETING -

> the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all I get

> is pain when I eat too fast.

Quit you're whining. Whatever we eat or don't eat is a DIET. You're

learning how to have a healthier diet, at least as long as you keep

out of mickeydees.

Then if you get pain from eating too fast, DO NOT EAT TOO FAST. That

PROVES you have restriction. Anyone with proper restriction will get

that same result. I do if I do stupid things like that. Yeah, it is

tough to learn to eat slowly, not talk while eating, take small bites,

and all that. I had 60 years of bad habits, and still have problems

with them sometimes. Makes me mad, but....

> I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and starting

> following them to the letter like I did in the very beginning. I do

> water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat the

> right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for improvement) -

> I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left short

> of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my journey and

> I don't understand why.

Because he judged you have a good fill for now. Why not quit whining

and do the best you can until the next scheduled visit. i bet you'll

do well if you keep working it.

> People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not - I can

> eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then cause I

> know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however the band

> is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but what is

> it doing?

It IS restricting how much you can eat. You've proven that to us

already. It is restricting how fast you eat. You're doing what all

people do in a new environment, they test the limits. Will mommy get

mad if I go out of our yard? How much can I sass grandma? How much

gum can I chew in class? etc, etc, etc. You'll get past that.

Really.

> I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

> followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working hard.

And you're losing.

> The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is suppose to

> be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me full

> longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

Give us a break. You keep saying over and over that you're smarter

than the doctor and a few hundred years of band experience among folks

on this group. You don't.

> I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I want to

> lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be at

> least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week.

OK. In a month that would make you six pounds in a month instead of

five. Big deal. And remember we can all vary a couple pounds a day.

> I really believed 10 pounds

> a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this early in

> the game.

Well, I hope you didn't get that idea from any bandsters or band docs.

If they said that, they were stupid or lying.

> My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

> don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this early.

Don't run off into the future. Deal with today.

> I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I thought I

> was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties slower -

> I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I have and

> are working on them.

Keep working on them. There isn't a one of us that couldn't use a

band on our brain instead of our stomach.

> I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make it

> easier.

It IS making it easier, like it or not. Think of it like a

relationship or marriage. You start out thinking he walks on water,

is perfect, can do no wrong, and all will be perfect. If anyone has

had that with a relationship they're one in a million. You're married

to your band, and like any relationship you have to work on it every

day.

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

[Guest guest]

Touche'

>

>

> >> At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO YEARS ! I'm not

> getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).<<

>

> And what will you weigh in two years if you keep eating Mc's

> " happy " meals?

>

> I also know the REAL consequences of getting too tight. I had a

> prolapse, regained 30 pounds, had to have my band removed for six

> months, and regained another twenty in that time. If I'd stayed at a

> lower fill level I'd have reached my goal weight three years ago --

even

> at a " lousy five pounds " a month. Instead I was set back almost to

where

> I was four years ago!! And I'm 65 now!! Talk about not getting any

> younger.

>

> You need to get serious with yourself. Are you in this for life or

do

> you think of it as just another diet? Maybe you can still eat too

much

> but because you can doesn't mean you should. The idea isn't to see

how

> much you can eat but how little you can eat and still be satisfied

(not

> stuffed, not even FULL). And yes, you're still going to have to

work for

> every pound.

>

> Get calm. Get focussed. And resolve not to treat YOUR body like a

> garbage can (eating at Mcs) when you're mad at someone else.

> Punishing yourself is a vicious cycle that never improves until you

> decide NOT to do it anymore. You deserve so much better. Your body

isn't

> the enemy.

>

> My nephew died yesterday, alone in his apartment, of complications

of

> diabetes. He was 47 years old. He spent his life punishing himself

and

> destroying his body because he could not accept his illness. You

and I

> and everyone else on this board have a life-long, life threatening

> illness. The band offers us a way to cope and even overcome our

> condition. Or we can refuse to accept the necessity of working with

the

> band and die before our time. Like my nephew, we didn't get to

choose

> our problem but we can choose how we want to deal with it.

>

> I wish you the best,

>

> SharonC in BC

> Second Surgery 6/7/07

> Restriction 8/30/07

> 249/220/145

>

[Guest guest]

First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was confused

and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to understand a

total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound weight loss

to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with 100's of

years experience) talk about.

It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11 weeks) -

I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that the " love

my band " people are at.

Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is right to

not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me properly

for this. I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep filling tiny

bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

portions).

I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you guys to

help me understand.

>

> > Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

>

> It isn't really. I know lots of bypass people and many of them that

> lose that fast look like death warmed over. They're not getting

good

> nutrition and are NOT in good health. They take massive supplements

> forever.

>

> > This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have an

egg

> > size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat large

> > amounts, albeit smaller than before.

>

> Well, yes, depending on what you eat, you can cram more in there,

> especially if you're not tight. Are you eating solid foods that

will

> fill you up, not drinking with or after meals, etc?

>

> > I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my

3rd

> > fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat too

fast

> > (big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given it,

I

> > lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got it.

The

> > doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I was

> > denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

>

> You chose that doc and you have to accept his judgment. Many or

most

> of us would agree with him. Many of us got our fat asses in

trouble

> by thinking we were smarter than our Health teachers, our spouses,

our

> doctors, and so forth. Pretty damn smart, aren't we? Yeah, right.

>

> > I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER

works -

> > our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is

DIETING -

> > the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all I

get

> > is pain when I eat too fast.

>

> Quit you're whining. Whatever we eat or don't eat is a DIET.

You're

> learning how to have a healthier diet, at least as long as you keep

> out of mickeydees.

>

> Then if you get pain from eating too fast, DO NOT EAT TOO FAST.

That

> PROVES you have restriction. Anyone with proper restriction will

get

> that same result. I do if I do stupid things like that. Yeah, it

is

> tough to learn to eat slowly, not talk while eating, take small

bites,

> and all that. I had 60 years of bad habits, and still have problems

> with them sometimes. Makes me mad, but....

>

> > I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and starting

> > following them to the letter like I did in the very beginning. I

do

> > water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat

the

> > right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for

improvement) -

> > I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left

short

> > of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my journey

and

> > I don't understand why.

>

> Because he judged you have a good fill for now. Why not quit

whining

> and do the best you can until the next scheduled visit. i bet

you'll

> do well if you keep working it.

>

> > People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not - I

can

> > eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then

cause I

> > know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however the

band

> > is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but

what is

> > it doing?

>

> It IS restricting how much you can eat. You've proven that to us

> already. It is restricting how fast you eat. You're doing what all

> people do in a new environment, they test the limits. Will mommy

get

> mad if I go out of our yard? How much can I sass grandma? How much

> gum can I chew in class? etc, etc, etc. You'll get past that.

> Really.

>

> > I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

> > followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working hard.

>

> And you're losing.

>

> > The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is suppose

to

> > be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me

full

> > longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

>

> Give us a break. You keep saying over and over that you're smarter

> than the doctor and a few hundred years of band experience among

folks

> on this group. You don't.

>

> > I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I

want to

> > lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be at

> > least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week.

>

> OK. In a month that would make you six pounds in a month instead of

> five. Big deal. And remember we can all vary a couple pounds a

day.

>

> > I really believed 10 pounds

> > a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this

early in

> > the game.

>

> Well, I hope you didn't get that idea from any bandsters or band

docs.

> If they said that, they were stupid or lying.

>

> > My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

> > don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this early.

>

> Don't run off into the future. Deal with today.

>

> > I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I

thought I

> > was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties

slower -

> > I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I have

and

> > are working on them.

>

> Keep working on them. There isn't a one of us that couldn't use a

> band on our brain instead of our stomach.

>

> > I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make it

> > easier.

>

> It IS making it easier, like it or not. Think of it like a

> relationship or marriage. You start out thinking he walks on water,

> is perfect, can do no wrong, and all will be perfect. If anyone

has

> had that with a relationship they're one in a million. You're

married

> to your band, and like any relationship you have to work on it every

> day.

>

> --

> Best regards,

> Dan mailto:honu@...

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

It is nice to hear some sympathy and commaraderie instead of

chastising.

>

>

>

>

> Sorry to hear you feeling this way. I know everyone writes back

with their helpful well wishing and all but I'd just like to say " I'm

hearing you sister " . As you, I am also disappointed with my results

and thought the lapband was my solution to weight loss and not just

a " tool " as most on the site suggest. After my second fill, I wasn't

scheduled for another visit for 1 month but as I still had no

restriction I phoned after 2 weeks and made another appointment. Here

I am today 4 fills down and still no restriction. Unlike you I have

never really started to lose weight. I'm feeling and eating as I was

before the op. I have rheumatoid arthritis, especially in my feet,

and cannot exercise so I am really relying on the band. I am 42 with

2 very young girls and like you may have gone for the different op if

I had realised the problems with the band. What can we do now? Not

much so I guess we just have to keep pushing the docs for fills. Good

luck

>

[Guest guest]

Hello cindywebb1667,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 9:51:28 PM, you wrote:

> First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

Gee, I thought I was....not so??? If I thought I were, my wife would

correct me quickly. If I were I wouldn't spend time fighting my band

instead of doing what the hell it says.

> Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was confused

> and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to understand a

> total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound weight loss

> to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

Well, since you kept saying the same things over and over and blaming

all the problems on the doctor, it sounded like whining to me. Plus,

if you'd said you already lost 40, my comments might have changed.

What did you start at and what is your goal, and your height.

> I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with 100's of

> years experience) talk about.

Well, you found out. Some of us are pretty much " tough love " types,

which we know pisses off some people.

> It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11 weeks) -

> I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that the " love

> my band " people are at.

See, that is FIVE POUNDS A WEEK. How can you be unhappy with that?

I'll guarantee you that you WILL have ups and downs and plateaus. We

all have, and all will. Right now I'm on a small up.

> Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is right to

> not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me properly

> for this.

That would be my bet. Most doctors are surgeons, and surgeons are not

usually people people, but cutting people. They can't be any better

than their support staff.

> I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

> fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep filling tiny

> bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

> portions).

Did he tell you guidelines or rules in the past? Were you given stuff

in writing? Many docs will say in writing that they'll only do fills

when you're not losing.

> I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you guys to

> help me understand.

I hope we helped and hope we didn't scare you off. And I'll admit to

being biased by being on a couple of other groups with names like

suffering bandsters or whatever, and all they do is whine, it ain't

their fault, it is their family's, their doctor's, their god's,

anything but themselves. And they always whine that the band wasn't a

magic thing that automatically made them lose.

Hang in there.

dan

[Guest guest]

I started at 326 - I'm currently 272 - my goal is 150 (unrealistic?)

You did not scare me away - I appreciate the 'tough love' and the

honesty...but please know I was not 'blaming' the doctor or whining

(at least I didn't think I was) - I was just....well it felt like

cold water slapped in my face and I was trying to cope with the

disappointment. The MCD happy meal was a foolish, childish, self-

sabotaging thing to do but I was the only one around to lash out at.

My doctor's office is a 'center of excellence' for both band and RNY

and they have a pretty good support team. The problem is they use

phrases like " the band is just a tool " without really explaining what

that means. We got lots of printed documentation about the diet and

what we could eat, but most of what I learned about the band I think

I learned from Sandyr. My doc's office has a psychologist that does

support groups and private consults (I'm scheduled for one) and we

had one dietician meeting. I don't remember ever getting any

documentation of the criteria for fills although I do know weight

lost was one consideration for fills.

I think the 'pat' phrases like " is a tool " - " lifestyle

change " " fills " - " small pouch " etc are not explained well enough. I

can honestly say (and I am really a very intelligent woman) that I

don't think I was fully informed about what fills are suppose to

accomplish and how. Sure I knew the fills restricted the stomach

but.....well for all my research I guess I needed is spelled out in

black and white...Or maybe I needed to listen better.

Don't give up on me. I'm really not just a blamer and whiner. This

is all alot to cope with.

>

> > First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

>

> Gee, I thought I was....not so??? If I thought I were, my wife

would

> correct me quickly. If I were I wouldn't spend time fighting my

band

> instead of doing what the hell it says.

>

> > Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was

confused

> > and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to understand a

> > total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound weight

loss

> > to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

>

> Well, since you kept saying the same things over and over and

blaming

> all the problems on the doctor, it sounded like whining to me.

Plus,

> if you'd said you already lost 40, my comments might have changed.

> What did you start at and what is your goal, and your height.

>

> > I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with 100's of

> > years experience) talk about.

>

> Well, you found out. Some of us are pretty much " tough love " types,

> which we know pisses off some people.

>

> > It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11

weeks) -

> > I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that

the " love

> > my band " people are at.

>

> See, that is FIVE POUNDS A WEEK. How can you be unhappy with that?

> I'll guarantee you that you WILL have ups and downs and plateaus.

We

> all have, and all will. Right now I'm on a small up.

>

> > Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is

right to

> > not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me

properly

> > for this.

>

> That would be my bet. Most doctors are surgeons, and surgeons are

not

> usually people people, but cutting people. They can't be any better

> than their support staff.

>

> > I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

> > fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep filling

tiny

> > bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

> > portions).

>

> Did he tell you guidelines or rules in the past? Were you given

stuff

> in writing? Many docs will say in writing that they'll only do

fills

> when you're not losing.

>

> > I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you guys

to

> > help me understand.

>

> I hope we helped and hope we didn't scare you off. And I'll admit

to

> being biased by being on a couple of other groups with names like

> suffering bandsters or whatever, and all they do is whine, it ain't

> their fault, it is their family's, their doctor's, their god's,

> anything but themselves. And they always whine that the band

wasn't a

> magic thing that automatically made them lose.

>

> Hang in there.

>

> dan

>

[Guest guest]

Oops I forgot one stat - I'm five feet two inches tall.

> >

> > > First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

> >

> > Gee, I thought I was....not so??? If I thought I were, my wife

> would

> > correct me quickly. If I were I wouldn't spend time fighting my

> band

> > instead of doing what the hell it says.

> >

> > > Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was

> confused

> > > and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to understand

a

> > > total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound weight

> loss

> > > to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

> >

> > Well, since you kept saying the same things over and over and

> blaming

> > all the problems on the doctor, it sounded like whining to me.

> Plus,

> > if you'd said you already lost 40, my comments might have changed.

> > What did you start at and what is your goal, and your height.

> >

> > > I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with 100's

of

> > > years experience) talk about.

> >

> > Well, you found out. Some of us are pretty much " tough love "

types,

> > which we know pisses off some people.

> >

> > > It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11

> weeks) -

> > > I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that

> the " love

> > > my band " people are at.

> >

> > See, that is FIVE POUNDS A WEEK. How can you be unhappy with

that?

> > I'll guarantee you that you WILL have ups and downs and

plateaus.

> We

> > all have, and all will. Right now I'm on a small up.

> >

> > > Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is

> right to

> > > not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me

> properly

> > > for this.

> >

> > That would be my bet. Most doctors are surgeons, and surgeons

are

> not

> > usually people people, but cutting people. They can't be any

better

> > than their support staff.

> >

> > > I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

> > > fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep filling

> tiny

> > > bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

> > > portions).

> >

> > Did he tell you guidelines or rules in the past? Were you given

> stuff

> > in writing? Many docs will say in writing that they'll only do

> fills

> > when you're not losing.

> >

> > > I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you

guys

> to

> > > help me understand.

> >

> > I hope we helped and hope we didn't scare you off. And I'll

admit

> to

> > being biased by being on a couple of other groups with names like

> > suffering bandsters or whatever, and all they do is whine, it

ain't

> > their fault, it is their family's, their doctor's, their god's,

> > anything but themselves. And they always whine that the band

> wasn't a

> > magic thing that automatically made them lose.

> >

> > Hang in there.

> >

> > dan

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>> Don't give up on me. I'm really not just a blamer and whiner. This

is all alot to cope with.<<

No one will give up on you. (Even if you blame or whine. We all need to

do that now and then.) Now that you're passed that initial, pissed-off

phase, you clearly have a realistic view of what's going on. Now you

just have to follow through. I think you're a pretty smart cookie and

can figure out whatever needs to be figured out.

[Guest guest]

>>Touche'<<

Hey, if I'd known you'd lost 54 pounds in 11 weeks, I would have been a

whole lot meaner!

Enviously,

SharonC in BC

Surgery 6/7/07

Restriction 8/30/07

249/220/145

[Guest guest]

,

This is definately an emotional journey. I have lost about 63

pounds since being banded on Dec 5 ,06. I am 10 months post op and

have lost just 9 pounds more than you have in just 11 weeks..

> > > It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11

> weeks) -

> > > I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that

> the " love

> > > my band " people are at.

I really do think you are doing great.I think it is important to

set realistic goals so you don't set yourself up for disappointment

which really just causes set backs.I am losing about 1.3 pounds a

week averaged out.I am happy with any loss.My goal is to have the

scale moving in a downward direction.No expctations no

resentments..I had to do alot of mental work to get to this stage

though.

I had RNY surgery in 2001.I had very little restriction,No

dumping syndrome and very little maintained weight loss.My

intestines regrew Villi and length and therefore I had very little

malabsorbtion.I had an enlarged stoma which led to a regain of 70

pounds due to NO restriction.I ate same size portions as before

surgery.My intestines were serving as my stomach.I never felt full.I

was always hungry.I had a small leak between my old stomach and my

new pouch.Food would travel into the remaing stomach which also

contributed to my hunger.

Dec 06.I had a lapband placed over my original RNY.The Dr. felt

the band would help make my stoma opening smaller and help give me

some restriction with food portions.I started at 235 and have now

reached 172 after 10 months.I am 5'2.I still have about 36 more

pounds to lose to get to a somewhat healthy weight.I am learning

patience for sure.This is not a fast way to loss weight.I didn't

lose fast with the RNY either.It took me over a year to lose 80

pounds.My starting weight at time of RNY was 315.I have more

restriction with my band than I EVER did with the RNY. I wish I had

the Band first as I may have never needed the second surgery. I now

have to supplemnet severely and go for weekly Iron Infusions to name

just a couple of the complications I have had.The list goes on.

This is a trying journey to say the least but be patient with

yourself.If you continue to do the right things the weight will come

off in its time not yours.Take this time to change old habits and

learn the power of positive attitude/thinking.Try not to stress over

it and just do the best you can each day.I wish you a successful

journey.

SharonS

In , " cindywebb1667 "

<cindywebb1667@...> wrote:

>

> I started at 326 - I'm currently 272 - my goal is 150

(unrealistic?)

>

> You did not scare me away - I appreciate the 'tough love' and the

> honesty...but please know I was not 'blaming' the doctor or

whining

> (at least I didn't think I was) - I was just....well it felt like

> cold water slapped in my face and I was trying to cope with the

> disappointment. The MCD happy meal was a foolish, childish, self-

> sabotaging thing to do but I was the only one around to lash out

at.

>

> My doctor's office is a 'center of excellence' for both band and

RNY

> and they have a pretty good support team. The problem is they use

> phrases like " the band is just a tool " without really explaining

what

> that means. We got lots of printed documentation about the diet

and

> what we could eat, but most of what I learned about the band I

think

> I learned from Sandyr. My doc's office has a psychologist that

does

> support groups and private consults (I'm scheduled for one) and we

> had one dietician meeting. I don't remember ever getting any

> documentation of the criteria for fills although I do know weight

> lost was one consideration for fills.

>

> I think the 'pat' phrases like " is a tool " - " lifestyle

> change " " fills " - " small pouch " etc are not explained well

enough. I

> can honestly say (and I am really a very intelligent woman) that I

> don't think I was fully informed about what fills are suppose to

> accomplish and how. Sure I knew the fills restricted the stomach

> but.....well for all my research I guess I needed is spelled out

in

> black and white...Or maybe I needed to listen better.

>

> Don't give up on me. I'm really not just a blamer and whiner.

This

> is all alot to cope with.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > > First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

> >

> > Gee, I thought I was....not so??? If I thought I were, my wife

> would

> > correct me quickly. If I were I wouldn't spend time fighting my

> band

> > instead of doing what the hell it says.

> >

> > > Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was

> confused

> > > and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to understand

a

> > > total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound weight

> loss

> > > to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

> >

> > Well, since you kept saying the same things over and over and

> blaming

> > all the problems on the doctor, it sounded like whining to me.

> Plus,

> > if you'd said you already lost 40, my comments might have

changed.

> > What did you start at and what is your goal, and your height.

> >

> > > I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with 100's

of

> > > years experience) talk about.

> >

> > Well, you found out. Some of us are pretty much " tough love "

types,

> > which we know pisses off some people.

> >

> > > It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11

> weeks) -

> > > I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that

> the " love

> > > my band " people are at.

> >

> > See, that is FIVE POUNDS A WEEK. How can you be unhappy with

that?

> > I'll guarantee you that you WILL have ups and downs and

plateaus.

> We

> > all have, and all will. Right now I'm on a small up.

> >

> > > Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is

> right to

> > > not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me

> properly

> > > for this.

> >

> > That would be my bet. Most doctors are surgeons, and surgeons

are

> not

> > usually people people, but cutting people. They can't be any

better

> > than their support staff.

> >

> > > I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

> > > fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep filling

> tiny

> > > bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

> > > portions).

> >

> > Did he tell you guidelines or rules in the past? Were you given

> stuff

> > in writing? Many docs will say in writing that they'll only do

> fills

> > when you're not losing.

> >

> > > I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you

guys

> to

> > > help me understand.

> >

> > I hope we helped and hope we didn't scare you off. And I'll

admit

> to

> > being biased by being on a couple of other groups with names like

> > suffering bandsters or whatever, and all they do is whine, it

ain't

> > their fault, it is their family's, their doctor's, their god's,

> > anything but themselves. And they always whine that the band

> wasn't a

> > magic thing that automatically made them lose.

> >

> > Hang in there.

> >

> > dan

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

i loved your " touche " . a sense of humor is invaluable when you're

struggling.

meanwhile, i read your next post and was astonished at your statistic:

54 pounds in 11 weeks. sweetie, that is nothing to complain about.

no wonder your fill doc said " no " . at this rate, what will your loss

be at 22 weeks? or 33 weeks or a year? you are doing beautifully and

should be showing some real progress in the " mirror " department. i look

at your progress with envy.

keep going and keep checking on yourself. and , please, no more happy

meals. LOL

george

p.s. folks , please trim your posts

[Guest guest]

Hi , I can really feel your pain and do understand exactly what you are

talking about.I have had about 9 fills and it wasn't until I was 8 months out

that the band was working for me. When it was working I could eat a cup of food

but how it worked for me was that I was not hungry for 4 hours. The weight fell

off it was great. It worked for about 2 months, Now it is not working again and

I need another fill. I have to wait until Nov 7. It is a real struggle for me.

But I do know how it feels for the band to work. You will get there. I would

call the Dr again and tell them how much you can eat and that you get hungry

really fast and beg for another fill. Tell them how discouraged you are. Really

be a squeaky wheel. My Dr is out of the office now that's why I have to wait. He

is very understanding. It is so true that there the band is either to tight to

loose or just right. For me if it is to loose it is no help and I have to have

something to work with for me to stay on track. Don't give up get another fill

when it starts working it is aahhhhhhhh so this is what they are talking about.

Ales

RNY 7/11/02

Revision Banded 10/27/06

Re: Boy am I disappointed!

Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have an egg

size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat large

amounts, albeit smaller than before.

I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my 3rd

fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat too fast

(big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given it, I

lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got it. The

doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I was

denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER works -

our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is DIETING -

the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all I get

is pain when I eat too fast.

I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and starting

following them to the letter like I did in the very beginning. I do

water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat the

right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for improvement) -

I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left short

of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my journey and

I don't understand why.

People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not - I can

eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then cause I

know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however the band

is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but what is

it doing? I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working hard.

The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is suppose to

be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me full

longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I want to

lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be at

least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week. I really believed 10 pounds

a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this early in

the game. My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this early.

I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I thought I

was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties slower -

I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I have and

are working on them.

I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make it

easier.

> >

> > I am so disappointed/angry I could cry - actually I have.

> >

> > Went to the Doc today for my 3rd fill and he refused to fill

me !

> I

> > NEVER expected that! Because I've been following the band rules

> and

> > I've lost 5 pounds in the last month - he said the band is doing

> what

> > it is suppose to be doing so I don't need a fill.

> >

> > I realize I " m only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week, but I had

> > really hoped for TWO pounds a week - not ONE. Sh*t what did I

need

> > surgery for then? To lose a lousy 5 pounds a month? I still

have

> > 130 pounds to go - At 5 pounds a month it will take me over TWO

> > YEARS ! I'm not getting any younger ya know (I'm 51).

> >

> > The doctor said he saw no reason to give me a fill. I've lost 5

> > pounds, I'm following the band rules, I feel restriction if I do

> > something wrong like eat too fast or drink liquids...so why

should

> he

> > fill me?

> >

> > I tried to explain to him that I can still eat TOO MUCH! I

thought

> > the band would restrict my stomach size? I still have to FORCE

> > myself to stop eating at a certain amount. Hell that is just

like

> > dieting ! How long can I keep this up? I worked really hard for

> > that 5 pounds; water aerobics, weights, treadmill etc. For 5

lousy

> > pounds and feeling hungry all the time?

> >

> > Knowing what I know now....I would have definitely chosen RNY -

at

> > least with that you have the malabsorption going for you.

> >

> > I just wanted a tiny fill....I feel like I'm so close but not

quite

> > there. He said he doesn't need to see me for three months unless

I

> > stop losing or start gaining then I can have a fill.

> >

> > I was so diappointed and angry that I went straight to Mcs

> and

> > ate a cheeseburger happy meal......just to prove I could.

> >

> > :(

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dan,

i agree with everything you said, except " the perfect man " . that is

exactly what my wife called me when she left. LOL

george

[Guest guest]

Hello cindywebb1667,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 10:47:48 PM, you wrote:

> I started at 326 - I'm currently 272 - my goal is 150 (unrealistic?)

Perhaps unrealistic, but don't worry about it until you're a lot

closer. With your height, what is weight at 25 BMI? A great many of

us will never make that theoretical goal (including me) but if we're

happier and healthier that's what counts.

> You did not scare me away - I appreciate the 'tough love' and the

> honesty...but please know I was not 'blaming' the doctor or whining

> (at least I didn't think I was) - I was just....well it felt like

> cold water slapped in my face and I was trying to cope with the

> disappointment. The MCD happy meal was a foolish, childish, self-

> sabotaging thing to do but I was the only one around to lash out at.

Glad the tough love is ok and you're not gone. More than one person

has responded to comments from some of us with messages like " i'm

outta here, you guys are mean nasty SOBs and I'm going somewhere

else " and then they unsub.

Yes, we all do stupid things to punish ourselves. In fact I did one

yesterday, so don't ever think that any of us are holier than thou or

anything like that. We're all still human.

> My doctor's office is a 'center of excellence' for both band and RNY

> and they have a pretty good support team. The problem is they use

> phrases like " the band is just a tool " without really explaining what

> that means. We got lots of printed documentation about the diet and

> what we could eat, but most of what I learned about the band I think

> I learned from Sandyr. My doc's office has a psychologist that does

> support groups and private consults (I'm scheduled for one) and we

> had one dietician meeting. I don't remember ever getting any

> documentation of the criteria for fills although I do know weight

> lost was one consideration for fills.

Hope you go to the support group regularly, and that it is a band-only

group, without bypass mixed in. If they're mixed it will just be

confusing for all, but amazingly some docs mix them.

> I think the 'pat' phrases like " is a tool " - " lifestyle

> change " " fills " - " small pouch " etc are not explained well enough. I

> can honestly say (and I am really a very intelligent woman) that I

> don't think I was fully informed about what fills are suppose to

> accomplish and how. Sure I knew the fills restricted the stomach

> but.....well for all my research I guess I needed is spelled out in

> black and white...Or maybe I needed to listen better.

I can tell you're very intelligent from your writing, and we all know

that has nothing to do with some of our behaviors, so I didn't take

the happy meal to mean you were dumb. As to fully informed, for many

" buying a band " is treated like some other major purchases. I think of

a big screen tv, where I know people who read the ads and go into the

big store where they can see 50 tvs of 60 inches and they all look

more or less the same, so they buy the one the sales person pushes, or

that is on sale, or that is prettiest or whatever, and they've not

done all their research to see which ones are best, have best service,

fewest problems, etc. Yeah, a band costs more, but people buy cars

just as quickly too.

And for many of us once we learn there is a solution to our problem

(and some of the tv or print ads make it sound idiot simple to lose

with a band, just like some do for JC or WW or whatever) that we rush

right out and buy it without much research.

Note that I'm NOT saying you didn't do your homework, but that is an

all too common problem.

> Don't give up on me. I'm really not just a blamer and whiner. This

> is all alot to cope with.

No one will give up on you, I promise. You're right, it is a LOT to

cope with, particularly for those of us who have some pretty deep

seated emotional issues that go back 60 years (for me, less for most)

or more and that you've buried under fat for a long time.

Glad you're sticking around. You'll make it. Did you ever read

Pilgrim's Progress in school? A tough read in many respects, but one

of the areas he has to go through is " The Slough of Despond " , and I

think we all have at least one of those on our path. But as a

currently popular song says " when you're going through hell just keep

on moving " and you're doing that.

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

thank you for this post. i know many by-pass people who experience

exactly what you describe. that is with the diminished malabsorption

and massive weight regain. most of them did not have a band

revision but went on the " cookie " diet. what a " revoltin

develpment " that was.

by-pass can produce incredible results initially, but over the long

term i would take the band any day.

certainly, there are people for whom the RNY is a better solution

than banding, but i think they are out there in the extreme.

maintenance of their health is an ongoing challenge even if they do

keep off the weight.

george

>

> ,

> This is definately an emotional journey. I have lost about 63

> pounds since being banded on Dec 5 ,06. I am 10 months post op and

> have lost just 9 pounds more than you have in just 11 weeks..

>

>

> //

[Guest guest]

Hello cindywebb1667,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 11:08:42 PM, you wrote:

> Oops I forgot one stat - I'm five feet two inches tall.

OK, that 150 gives a bmi of 27.4, which might be reasonable, depending

on how much PS you're willing to get. Losing half your body weight

will leave a LOT of saggy, baggy skin and fat, which adds to the

weight. Some of mine is shown in my TT pix on www.mylapband.tk. I'm

thrilled I got the TT, but it made the band trip seem really easy.

Had I not done it I wouldn't be able to be out doing half marathons

and lots of other things. But again, worry about that later when

you're down " into the ones " (which I may reach someday, but don't hold

your breath).

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

[Guest guest]

Hello serenitywon,

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 12:44:06 AM, you wrote:

> Dec 06.I had a lapband placed over my original RNY.The Dr. felt

> the band would help make my stoma opening smaller and help give me

> some restriction with food portions.I started at 235 and have now

> reached 172 after 10 months.I am 5'2.I still have about 36 more

> pounds to lose to get to a somewhat healthy weight.I am learning

> patience for sure.This is not a fast way to loss weight.I didn't

> lose fast with the RNY either.It took me over a year to lose 80

> pounds.My starting weight at time of RNY was 315.I have more

> restriction with my band than I EVER did with the RNY.

Sharon, thanks for telling us of your " adventure " . You've illustrated

exactly why I'd never even considered a bypass for the 20 years they

were doing them before I got a band in 03. Just way too many risks

and complications, and a MUCH more difficult surgery to start with.

You ARE at a " somewhat healthy weight " now. Your BMI is just over 31,

so you're barely in the obese category and almost down to

" overweight " . To get to 136 you'll really have to work at it, as that

is a BMI a hair under 25. It will be great if you can do it, but

don't let it break your heart if it doesn't happen. I've been about

205--215 for almost four years now, and theoretically I should weigh

173 to make that " magic BMI " . But I'll never get to that unless I'm

dying of stomach cancer or something (and don't say that lightly as

watched that happen to my little sister ten years ago).

Glad you're on the right track now and that you're doing so well.

congratulations

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

[Guest guest]

Dan,

Exactly who are these mysterious people who truly fit in the BMI numbers? I

doubt I'll ever be there unless I contract some deadly disease! At 5'11 " and

with lean mass of 160 pounds weighing in at 226 right now, I don't think a

charted BMI is ever in my future unless I lose some serious muscle.

Sometimes being a loser is a GOOD thing! 5'11 " 306 / 226 / 180 PreOp / Now/ Goal

Banded 09/14/06

@...: honu@...: Wed, 17 Oct

2007 07:45:43 -0600Subject: Re: Re: Boy am I disappointed!

Hello serenitywon,Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 12:44:06 AM, you wrote:> Dec 06.I

had a lapband placed over my original RNY.The Dr. felt > the band would help

make my stoma opening smaller and help give me > some restriction with food

portions.I started at 235 and have now > reached 172 after 10 months.I am 5'2.I

still have about 36 more > pounds to lose to get to a somewhat healthy weight.I

am learning > patience for sure.This is not a fast way to loss weight.I didn't >

lose fast with the RNY either.It took me over a year to lose 80 > pounds.My

starting weight at time of RNY was 315.I have more > restriction with my band

than I EVER did with the RNY. Sharon, thanks for telling us of your " adventure " .

You've illustratedexactly why I'd never even considered a bypass for the 20

years theywere doing them before I got a band in 03. Just way too many risksand

complications, and a MUCH more difficult surgery to start with.You ARE at a

" somewhat healthy weight " now. Your BMI is just over 31,so you're barely in the

obese category and almost down to " overweight " . To get to 136 you'll really have

to work at it, as thatis a BMI a hair under 25. It will be great if you can do

it, butdon't let it break your heart if it doesn't happen. I've been

about205--215 for almost four years now, and theoretically I should weigh173 to

make that " magic BMI " . But I'll never get to that unless I'mdying of stomach

cancer or something (and don't say that lightly aswatched that happen to my

little sister ten years ago).Glad you're on the right track now and that you're

doing so well.congratulations-- Best regards,Dan mailto:honu@...

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