Re: Boy am I disappointed!

October 17, 2007

Hello george,

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 7:20:21 AM, you wrote:

> i agree with everything you said, except " the perfect man " . that is

> exactly what my wife called me when she left. LOL

Well, I have three exes, and didn't get exactly that comment....but

one of them did let me know that SHE was perfect in all respects.

When she left for another guy (which didn't last long) she weighed

about 180--200 and at age 60 is now well over 300, probably pushing

400. She (and our obese kids) know about my band and the successes

I've had, and so far haven't chosen to do anything. But I also know

that I can't change an ex or adult kids (or anyone else). If they

want help, they know where to get it. And I love them anyway (even

some for the " perfect woman " ).

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

October 17, 2007

LOL ! Thanks Sharon.

I guess it really wasn't about the 5 pounds it was about the 5 pounds

preventing the fill.

Thanks to the tough love - I'm back on track. I reacted like a spoiled

baby (o.k. a spoiled DISAPPOINTED baby)

>

> >>Touche'<<

>

> Hey, if I'd known you'd lost 54 pounds in 11 weeks, I would have been

a

> whole lot meaner!

>

> Enviously,

>

> SharonC in BC

> Surgery 6/7/07

> Restriction 8/30/07

> 249/220/145

>

October 17, 2007

OMG SharonS !!!! What a journey you have been through - now I truly

feel bad for complaining. Thank you soooo much for sharing that the

other side is not always greener ! You are truly a courageous woman !

I should also mention that I work with a woman who had RNY one month

before me (June 2007) - She has lost 100 lbs and I am extremely

jealous. I work in a small office and she sits within eye site of

me. I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us and

our weight loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her

anything about her RNY. Maybe this feeling of being under a

microscope is pushing me to want more than I know I can have. In

hindsight I should never have said anything about having the band.

Once I made a list of all the reasons I needed to lose weight from

playing with my grandkids to personal hygiene issues. I used this

list to get me motivated to do SOMETHING. Now I think I need to make

a list of the things that are going better for me now....from making

right food choices cause I WANT to - to eating slower and chewing

better.

Thank you all for pulling me back to reality. I'm sorry I was such a

baby.

> > >

> > > > First of all there is no such thing as a perfect man - LOL!

> > >

> > > Gee, I thought I was....not so??? If I thought I were, my

wife

> > would

> > > correct me quickly. If I were I wouldn't spend time fighting

my

> > band

> > > instead of doing what the hell it says.

> > >

> > > > Second, I didn't realize I was whining....I thought I was

> > confused

> > > > and looking for answers. I thought I was trying to

understand

> a

> > > > total 180 turn (from getting two fills after a 40 pound

weight

> > loss

> > > > to zero fill after a 5 pound weight loss???)

> > >

> > > Well, since you kept saying the same things over and over and

> > blaming

> > > all the problems on the doctor, it sounded like whining to

me.

> > Plus,

> > > if you'd said you already lost 40, my comments might have

> changed.

> > > What did you start at and what is your goal, and your height.

> > >

> > > > I thought I was looking for what lots of bandsters (with

100's

> of

> > > > years experience) talk about.

> > >

> > > Well, you found out. Some of us are pretty much " tough love "

> types,

> > > which we know pisses off some people.

> > >

> > > > It really isn't about only the 5 pounds (I've lost 54 in 11

> > weeks) -

> > > > I guess I just thought I'd finally be in the 'place' that

> > the " love

> > > > my band " people are at.

> > >

> > > See, that is FIVE POUNDS A WEEK. How can you be unhappy with

> that?

> > > I'll guarantee you that you WILL have ups and downs and

> plateaus.

> > We

> > > all have, and all will. Right now I'm on a small up.

> > >

> > > > Maybe I misunderstood the 'egg size pouch'. Maybe my doc is

> > right to

> > > > not give me a fill - but maybe his group did not prepare me

> > properly

> > > > for this.

> > >

> > > That would be my bet. Most doctors are surgeons, and surgeons

> are

> > not

> > > usually people people, but cutting people. They can't be any

> better

> > > than their support staff.

> > >

> > > > I was only going by (and expecting) what he did already (2

> > > > fills with weight loss) and what he said (we will keep

filling

> > tiny

> > > > bits till you feel like the band is helping you with food

> > > > portions).

> > >

> > > Did he tell you guidelines or rules in the past? Were you

given

> > stuff

> > > in writing? Many docs will say in writing that they'll only do

> > fills

> > > when you're not losing.

> > >

> > > > I just reacted with shock and disappointment and came to you

> guys

> > to

> > > > help me understand.

> > >

> > > I hope we helped and hope we didn't scare you off. And I'll

> admit

> > to

> > > being biased by being on a couple of other groups with names

like

> > > suffering bandsters or whatever, and all they do is whine, it

> ain't

> > > their fault, it is their family's, their doctor's, their god's,

> > > anything but themselves. And they always whine that the band

> > wasn't a

> > > magic thing that automatically made them lose.

> > >

> > > Hang in there.

> > >

> > > dan

> > >

> >

>

October 17, 2007

Hello cindywebb1667,

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 10:04:37 AM, you wrote:

> Thank you all for pulling me back to reality. I'm sorry I was such a

> baby.

Hey, we all do some whining or bitching and moaning on occasion. I

tend to keep mine to myself and to Gail (my wife, who had stomach

stapled 25 years ago and really understands restriction, not eating

certain things, barfing, and all that). But I gained two pounds

between yesterday and today. Gee, suppose it was all the very salty

" poor boy sandwich guts " that I grazed on all afternoon? (Another bad

thing to do...the band will never stop grazing).

Well, duuuuhhhhh

--

Best regards,

Dan mailto:honu@...

October 17, 2007

Thank you Dan. I'm in a better place today.

I still believe I need a fill, but I will approach it the 'right'

way. Continue doing what I'm doing - working at emotional issues -

follow the rules - be aware of self-sabotaging behavior - realize

this is an individualized journey and although many others are on the

journey with me, it is still MY steps that need to get me where I'm

going.

One more thing. You mentioned:

>Did you ever read

> Pilgrim's Progress in school? A tough read in many respects, but

one

> of the areas he has to go through is " The Slough of Despond " , and I

> think we all have at least one of those on our path. But as a

> currently popular song says " when you're going through hell just

keep

> on moving " and you're doing that.

OMG - OMG - OMG !!!!! I bought that book from an auction as a small

child and subsequently lost it in my life's travels. I want that

book SO BAD and have been wracking my brain for several years trying

to remember the title and the author. Do you know anything about the

book (I believe it was written in like 1918 and had the name

Bunyon on it)? I want to find it again.

Thanks

>

> > I started at 326 - I'm currently 272 - my goal is 150

(unrealistic?)

>

> Perhaps unrealistic, but don't worry about it until you're a lot

> closer. With your height, what is weight at 25 BMI? A great many

of

> us will never make that theoretical goal (including me) but if we're

> happier and healthier that's what counts.

>

> > You did not scare me away - I appreciate the 'tough love' and the

> > honesty...but please know I was not 'blaming' the doctor or

whining

> > (at least I didn't think I was) - I was just....well it felt like

> > cold water slapped in my face and I was trying to cope with the

> > disappointment. The MCD happy meal was a foolish, childish, self-

> > sabotaging thing to do but I was the only one around to lash out

at.

>

> Glad the tough love is ok and you're not gone. More than one person

> has responded to comments from some of us with messages like " i'm

> outta here, you guys are mean nasty SOBs and I'm going somewhere

> else " and then they unsub.

>

> Yes, we all do stupid things to punish ourselves. In fact I did one

> yesterday, so don't ever think that any of us are holier than thou

or

> anything like that. We're all still human.

>

> > My doctor's office is a 'center of excellence' for both band and

RNY

> > and they have a pretty good support team. The problem is they

use

> > phrases like " the band is just a tool " without really explaining

what

> > that means. We got lots of printed documentation about the diet

and

> > what we could eat, but most of what I learned about the band I

think

> > I learned from Sandyr. My doc's office has a psychologist that

does

> > support groups and private consults (I'm scheduled for one) and

we

> > had one dietician meeting. I don't remember ever getting any

> > documentation of the criteria for fills although I do know weight

> > lost was one consideration for fills.

>

> Hope you go to the support group regularly, and that it is a band-

only

> group, without bypass mixed in. If they're mixed it will just be

> confusing for all, but amazingly some docs mix them.

>

> > I think the 'pat' phrases like " is a tool " - " lifestyle

> > change " " fills " - " small pouch " etc are not explained well

enough. I

> > can honestly say (and I am really a very intelligent woman) that

I

> > don't think I was fully informed about what fills are suppose to

> > accomplish and how. Sure I knew the fills restricted the stomach

> > but.....well for all my research I guess I needed is spelled out

in

> > black and white...Or maybe I needed to listen better.

>

> I can tell you're very intelligent from your writing, and we all

know

> that has nothing to do with some of our behaviors, so I didn't take

> the happy meal to mean you were dumb. As to fully informed, for

many

> " buying a band " is treated like some other major purchases. I think

of

> a big screen tv, where I know people who read the ads and go into

the

> big store where they can see 50 tvs of 60 inches and they all look

> more or less the same, so they buy the one the sales person pushes,

or

> that is on sale, or that is prettiest or whatever, and they've not

> done all their research to see which ones are best, have best

service,

> fewest problems, etc. Yeah, a band costs more, but people buy cars

> just as quickly too.

>

> And for many of us once we learn there is a solution to our problem

> (and some of the tv or print ads make it sound idiot simple to lose

> with a band, just like some do for JC or WW or whatever) that we

rush

> right out and buy it without much research.

>

> Note that I'm NOT saying you didn't do your homework, but that is an

> all too common problem.

>

> > Don't give up on me. I'm really not just a blamer and whiner.

This

> > is all alot to cope with.

>

> No one will give up on you, I promise. You're right, it is a LOT to

> cope with, particularly for those of us who have some pretty deep

> seated emotional issues that go back 60 years (for me, less for

most)

> or more and that you've buried under fat for a long time.

>

> Glad you're sticking around. You'll make it. Did you ever read

> Pilgrim's Progress in school? A tough read in many respects, but

one

> of the areas he has to go through is " The Slough of Despond " , and I

> think we all have at least one of those on our path. But as a

> currently popular song says " when you're going through hell just

keep

> on moving " and you're doing that.

>

> --

> Best regards,

> Dan mailto:honu@...

>

October 17, 2007

I'm already planning for and saving for LOTS of PS (I already picked

the surgeon I would like). I know it will be VERY HARD (I've had

hard surgeries before - lap band was EASY) so my expectations (I

hope) are realistic. I already have lots of mishapen skin/fat and

gravity is NOT my friend. I just want to be comfortable - I don't

have to be beautiful.

>

> > Oops I forgot one stat - I'm five feet two inches tall.

>

> OK, that 150 gives a bmi of 27.4, which might be reasonable,

depending

> on how much PS you're willing to get. Losing half your body weight

> will leave a LOT of saggy, baggy skin and fat, which adds to the

> weight. Some of mine is shown in my TT pix on www.mylapband.tk.

I'm

> thrilled I got the TT, but it made the band trip seem really easy.

> Had I not done it I wouldn't be able to be out doing half marathons

> and lots of other things. But again, worry about that later when

> you're down " into the ones " (which I may reach someday, but don't

hold

> your breath).

>

> --

> Best regards,

> Dan mailto:honu@...

>

October 17, 2007

,

So glad to hear you are doing better today. This process is

emotionally hard and unfortunately we have to go through these

growing pains (or losing pains, I guess) to get to that place where

we " Love " our band. ESPECIALLY when we compare ourselves to the

RNY/DS/other surgery people who have the rapid initial weight loss.

I was at the gym the other day watching mindless TV while on the

treadmill--it was " Celebrity Fit Club 4 " of all things--and Carnie

was on there. Carnie, who had her RNY on the internet in 1999

and did all those infomercials about having RNY and it was the

greatest thing ever--she had a baby and regained at least 50 lbs.

I'm saying this because it just reminded me, " Oh yeah...I love my

band! " Not that we are immune to regain by any means, but the band

is adjustable so if we take care of our stomachs and they stay

healthy, we can lose the weight again if we have to.

I would be very happy with your weight loss. I'm really happy with

MY weight loss--I'm at 38 lbs in 7 months with 36 lbs to go to my

goal. It's much slower than yours, or a lot of other people's band

losses, but for me it's good. There have been times that I wished it

was faster, but any forward progress is good progress to me. I'm

dropping sizes and inches, getting a lot more fit, and I discovered

that there are certain kinds of exercise that I LOVE, and I never

thought I'd say I love exercise. The band journey pushes you to try

things outside of your comfort zone, and you'll be surprised how many

of them you like.

A lot of us have gotten the tough love smack-down when we needed it.

It says a lot about your resolve to do this that you were able to

dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Keep up the great work!

Gwen

234/196/160

October 17, 2007

>> I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us and our

weight loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her anything

about her RNY. Maybe this feeling of being under a microscope is

pushing me to want more than I know I can have.<<

Ah, more clues. ;-)

See, you're figuring this out all by yourself.

ly, losing 100 pounds in four months or so is not something I would

aspire to. Honestly. As impatient as I am, I think there would be

terrible health consequences for me -- and some really difficult mental

health consequences too. It's hard enough to adjust mentally to a

slow-but-steady weight loss.

So I say to hell with her and to hell with the people in the office,

too. You don't need their approval.

>> In hindsight I should never have said anything about having the

band.<<

In the first flush of our romance with the band we want to tell the

WORLD about our great discovery. We're in LOVE! But life with the band

is a lot more like marriage with its ups and downs. Not everyone needs

to know about that!

October 17, 2007

>> (I believe it was written in like 1918 and had the name Bunyon

on it<<

The Pilgrim's Progress from This World to That Which Is to Come by

Bunyan First published 1678.

And the " Slough of Despond " is an expression I've often used to describe

my mental state. Not these days, fortunately.

October 17, 2007

UGH, PEOPLE! I have one in my office who asks how I'm able to eat something

crunchy (like rice cakes), but not ground beef. WTF??? And her hubby has

Crone's disease and can't eat steak, but can eat hamburger and she's baffled how

I can eat steak, but not hamburger. I eat what works!

Sometimes being a loser is a GOOD thing! 5'11 " 306 / 226 / 180 PreOp /

Now/ Goal Banded 09/14/06

@...: sharon@...: Wed, 17 Oct

2007 10:46:18 -0700Subject: RE: Re: Boy am I disappointed!

>> I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us and ourweight

loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her anythingabout her RNY. Maybe

this feeling of being under a microscope ispushing me to want more than I know I

can have.<<Ah, more clues. ;-)See, you're figuring this out all by yourself.

ly, losing 100 pounds in four months or so is not something I wouldaspire

to. Honestly. As impatient as I am, I think there would beterrible health

consequences for me -- and some really difficult mentalhealth consequences too.

It's hard enough to adjust mentally to aslow-but-steady weight loss.So I say to

hell with her and to hell with the people in the office,too. You don't need

their approval.>> In hindsight I should never have said anything about having

theband.<<In the first flush of our romance with the band we want to tell

theWORLD about our great discovery. We're in LOVE! But life with the bandis a

lot more like marriage with its ups and downs. Not everyone needsto know about

that!

_________________________________________________________________

Help yourself to FREE treats served up daily at the Messenger Café. Stop by

today.

http://www.cafemessenger.com/info/info_sweetstuff2.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_OctWLtagl\

ine

October 17, 2007

sharon, i loved your post. am switching from digest to individual

emails to keep up with this! i agree with you. i havent lost that

much and it has been since feb, but i am happy as a clam..a low

calorie clam i might add. maybe i am just goofy.

>

> >>Touche'<<

>

> Hey, if I'd known you'd lost 54 pounds in 11 weeks, I would have

been a

> whole lot meaner!

>

> Enviously,

>

> SharonC in BC

> Surgery 6/7/07

> Restriction 8/30/07

> 249/220/145

>

October 17, 2007

sharon, i loved your post. am switching from digest to individual

emails to keep up with this! i agree with you. i havent lost that

much and it has been since feb, but i am happy as a clam..a low

calorie clam i might add. maybe i am just goofy.

>

> >>Touche'<<

>

> Hey, if I'd known you'd lost 54 pounds in 11 weeks, I would have

been a

> whole lot meaner!

>

> Enviously,

>

> SharonC in BC

> Surgery 6/7/07

> Restriction 8/30/07

> 249/220/145

>

October 17, 2007

sharon, i loved your post. am switching from digest to individual

emails to keep up with this! i agree with you. i havent lost that

much and it has been since feb, but i am happy as a clam..a low

calorie clam i might add. maybe i am just goofy.

>

> >>Touche'<<

>

> Hey, if I'd known you'd lost 54 pounds in 11 weeks, I would have

been a

> whole lot meaner!

>

> Enviously,

>

> SharonC in BC

> Surgery 6/7/07

> Restriction 8/30/07

> 249/220/145

>

October 17, 2007

>> UGH, PEOPLE! I have one in my office who asks how I'm able to eat

something crunchy (like rice cakes), but not ground beef.<<

Even worse are the people who say " Should you be eating that? "

Few things are ruder than commenting on what or how much other people

are eating.

Thank heavens, I work at home. One of the best things about it is that I

don't have to deal with co-workers. (I do share an office with my

husband and that's hard enough.)

October 17, 2007

well, I for one heard complaining not questioning for understanding

purposes. It actually sounded like a verbal tantrum to me.

I tried to answer by giving you my experience. I even argued with

my nurse practitioner when she said that 1/2 lb a week was too

little. I told her it was fine with me. As long as I keep on the

right track, that is all I care about. Yes, I am a senior, but I do

not expect over nite miracles. I figure that if I keep losing, I

will be around a lot longer!!! I hope that you will consider

yourself on the right track -- from all you said, you are. Now you

just need to get your head wrapped around it.

> >

> > > Then why is o.k. for bypass patients to lose 20 pounds a month?

> >

> > It isn't really. I know lots of bypass people and many of them

that

> > lose that fast look like death warmed over. They're not getting

> good

> > nutrition and are NOT in good health. They take massive

supplements

> > forever.

> >

> > > This is not at all what I expected. I was told I would have

an

> egg

> > > size pouch to restrict my eating - NOT ! I can still eat

large

> > > amounts, albeit smaller than before.

> >

> > Well, yes, depending on what you eat, you can cram more in there,

> > especially if you're not tight. Are you eating solid foods that

> will

> > fill you up, not drinking with or after meals, etc?

> >

> > > I was told 3-5 fills for optimal restriction - I was denied my

> 3rd

> > > fill and I do not have restriction - I have pain when I eat

too

> fast

> > > (big deal)- I lost alot of weight before fill 1 but was given

it,

> I

> > > lost a decent amount of weight before fill 2 - I still got

it.

> The

> > > doc said the third one would probably be the 'good' one - I

was

> > > denied fill 3. I don't get it?!

> >

> > You chose that doc and you have to accept his judgment. Many or

> most

> > of us would agree with him. Many of us got our fat asses in

> trouble

> > by thinking we were smarter than our Health teachers, our

spouses,

> our

> > doctors, and so forth. Pretty damn smart, aren't we? Yeah,

right.

> >

> > > I was told by the surgeon's psychologist that dieting NEVER

> works -

> > > our resolve peters out and we fail - yet all I'm doing is

> DIETING -

> > > the band doesn't stop me be restricting the amount I eat - all

I

> get

> > > is pain when I eat too fast.

> >

> > Quit you're whining. Whatever we eat or don't eat is a DIET.

> You're

> > learning how to have a healthier diet, at least as long as you

keep

> > out of mickeydees.

> >

> > Then if you get pain from eating too fast, DO NOT EAT TOO FAST.

> That

> > PROVES you have restriction. Anyone with proper restriction

will

> get

> > that same result. I do if I do stupid things like that. Yeah,

it

> is

> > tough to learn to eat slowly, not talk while eating, take small

> bites,

> > and all that. I had 60 years of bad habits, and still have

problems

> > with them sometimes. Makes me mad, but....

> >

> > > I tested the rules - found out why they are in place and

starting

> > > following them to the letter like I did in the very

beginning. I

> do

> > > water aerobics, aerobics, weight training - I eat slow - I eat

> the

> > > right kinds of foods (mostly - there is always room for

> improvement) -

> > > I gave up all my sweet eating - I'm working hard but I'm left

> short

> > > of the best place to be. My doc put the stop light in my

journey

> and

> > > I don't understand why.

> >

> > Because he judged you have a good fill for now. Why not quit

> whining

> > and do the best you can until the next scheduled visit. i bet

> you'll

> > do well if you keep working it.

> >

> > > People who " love their band " have good restriction. I do not -

I

> can

> > > eat rice, potatoes, bread, pasta and pizza (I don't eat then

> cause I

> > > know I shouldn't and I know everyone is different) - however

the

> band

> > > is suppose to be a 'tool' (a phrase I'm really tired of), but

> what is

> > > it doing?

> >

> > It IS restricting how much you can eat. You've proven that to us

> > already. It is restricting how fast you eat. You're doing what

all

> > people do in a new environment, they test the limits. Will

mommy

> get

> > mad if I go out of our yard? How much can I sass grandma? How

much

> > gum can I chew in class? etc, etc, etc. You'll get past that.

> > Really.

> >

> > > I'm really confused. I went to all the classes, I

> > > followed all the rules (after testing them) and I'm working

hard.

> >

> > And you're losing.

> >

> > > The only missing piece to the puzzle is what the band is

suppose

> to

> > > be doing. Where is my small pouch to fill me faster, keep me

> full

> > > longer and restrict the amount I can put in there?

> >

> > Give us a break. You keep saying over and over that you're

smarter

> > than the doctor and a few hundred years of band experience among

> folks

> > on this group. You don't.

> >

> > > I'm not in a race - I know it took a long time to get fat - I

> want to

> > > lose slowly, but for all the work I put into this I want to be

at

> > > least midline in the 1-2 pounds a week.

> >

> > OK. In a month that would make you six pounds in a month

instead of

> > five. Big deal. And remember we can all vary a couple pounds a

> day.

> >

> > > I really believed 10 pounds

> > > a month was doable if I did the right things-especially this

> early in

> > > the game.

> >

> > Well, I hope you didn't get that idea from any bandsters or band

> docs.

> > If they said that, they were stupid or lying.

> >

> > > My weight loss will slow as I get closer to goal - but I

> > > don't have much room to slow down is it is this slow this

early.

> >

> > Don't run off into the future. Deal with today.

> >

> > > I don't want as much fill as possible - I just want what I

> thought I

> > > was getting; a smaller stomach that fills faster, and empties

> slower -

> > > I have everything else. I know what psychological issues I

have

> and

> > > are working on them.

> >

> > Keep working on them. There isn't a one of us that couldn't use

a

> > band on our brain instead of our stomach.

> >

> > > I knew this would be hard - I just thought the band would make

it

> > > easier.

> >

> > It IS making it easier, like it or not. Think of it like a

> > relationship or marriage. You start out thinking he walks on

water,

> > is perfect, can do no wrong, and all will be perfect. If

anyone

> has

> > had that with a relationship they're one in a million. You're

> married

> > to your band, and like any relationship you have to work on it

every

> > day.

> >

> > --

> > Best regards,

> > Dan mailto:honu@

> >

>

October 17, 2007

OH, a few months post op it was someone's birthday and the boss had the audacity

to exclude me from the birthday cake! Cut everyone else a piece and didn't even

ASK me if I wanted any!!!! I about flipped. I said you know, I really don't

care for any, but it would have been nice to be included! B*TCH!

Sometimes being a loser is a GOOD thing!

5'11 " 306 / 226 / 180 PreOp / Now/ Goal Banded 09/14/06

@...: sharon@...: Wed, 17 Oct

2007 10:59:36 -0700Subject: RE: Re: Boy am I disappointed!

>> UGH, PEOPLE! I have one in my office who asks how I'm able to eatsomething

crunchy (like rice cakes), but not ground beef.<<Even worse are the people who

say " Should you be eating that? " Few things are ruder than commenting on what or

how much other peopleare eating. Thank heavens, I work at home. One of the best

things about it is that Idon't have to deal with co-workers. (I do share an

office with myhusband and that's hard enough.)

_________________________________________________________________

Windows Live Hotmail and Microsoft Office Outlook – together at last. Get it

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October 17, 2007

THANK YOU!

>

> >> (I believe it was written in like 1918 and had the name Bunyon

> on it<<

>

> The Pilgrim's Progress from This World to That Which Is to Come by

> Bunyan First published 1678.

> And the " Slough of Despond " is an expression I've often used to

describe

> my mental state. Not these days, fortunately.

>

October 17, 2007

Dan,

my daughter and her husband visited this summer from France. they

hadn't seen me in 13 months (that was at my son's wedding in Canada

last july. j i had already lost about 70%of what i've done so far)

my daughter did not recognize me when she emerged from customs. only

that i was standing together with my ex-wife did she know it was I.

how's that for an NSV?

george

(p.s. although my ex and I parted bitterly , with me left to raise

the kids on my own - they were 2 and 5 years old at the time- I have

accepted what was and am living now in what is. so.... my ex is

transformed in many ways and she and I are great friends,now. more

like siblings than friends, and gosh, was i ever married to her?

I remember being married to a much younger woman than she. Like 25

years younger than she is. and 35 years younger when we married.)---

In , Dan Lester <honu@...> wrote:

>

> Hello george,

>

> Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 7:20:21 AM, you wrote:

>

> > i agree with everything you said, except " the perfect man " . that

is

> > exactly what my wife called me when she left. LOL

>

> Well, I have three exes, and didn't get exactly that comment....but

> one of them did let me know that SHE was perfect in all respects.

> When she left for another guy (which didn't last long) she weighed

> about 180--200 and at age 60 is now well over 300, probably pushing

> 400. She (and our obese kids) know about my band and the successes

> I've had, and so far haven't chosen to do anything. But I also know

> that I can't change an ex or adult kids (or anyone else). If they

> want help, they know where to get it. And I love them anyway (even

> some for the " perfect woman " ).

>

> --

> Best regards,

> Dan mailto:honu@...

>

October 17, 2007

And this is precisely why I did not tell ANYONE at work about my

band - mostly because I was afraid it was yet another fad and would

not work. Secondly because I did not want the comparisons and am a

private person when it comes to the workplace. And after surgery, it

was slow getting started with the weight loss and finding the right

adjustment point. Patience, patience, patience. Then I got too

agressive and overfilled - took me three months to make up for that

lesson. Today I am at goal weight. The journey was SOOOOOO WORTH IT!

Jeannie

banded 3/8/05

210/135

>> UGH, PEOPLE! I have one in my office who asks how I'm able to

eat something crunchy (like rice cakes), but not ground beef.

WTF??? And her hubby has Crone's disease and can't eat steak, but

can eat hamburger and she's baffled how I can eat steak, but not

hamburger. I eat what works!

> Sometimes being a loser is a GOOD thing! 5'11 " 306 /

226 / 180 PreOp / Now/ Goal Banded 09/14/06

>

> @...: sharon@...: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:46:18 -

0700Subject: RE: Re: Boy am I disappointed!

>

> >> I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us

and ourweight loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her

anythingabout her RNY. Maybe this feeling of being under a

microscope ispushing me to want more than I know I can have.<<Ah,

more clues. ;-)See, you're figuring this out all by yourself.

ly, losing 100 pounds in four months or so is not something I

wouldaspire to. Honestly. As impatient as I am, I think there would

beterrible health consequences for me -- and some really difficult

mentalhealth consequences too. It's hard enough to adjust mentally

to aslow-but-steady weight loss.So I say to hell with her and to

hell with the people in the office,too. You don't need their

approval.>> In hindsight I should never have said anything about

having theband.<<In the first flush of our romance with the band we

want to tell theWORLD about our great discovery. We're in LOVE! But

life with the bandis a lot more like marriage with its ups and

downs. Not everyone needsto know about that!

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Help yourself to FREE treats served up daily at the Messenger

Café. Stop by today.

> http://www.cafemessenger.com/info/info_sweetstuff2.html?

ocid=TXT_TAGLM_OctWLtagline

>

October 17, 2007

,

How much do you consider a bandster portion. you keep mentioning that your

pouch is egg sized. Bandsters usually eat 1 to 1-1/2 cups of food for a meal.

3oz protein and 1/2 cup of veggies is usually a good guideline. if you are only

eating an egg sized portion you will never get full enough to turn you hunger

switch off. the band acts like a funnel, as you are putting food in it starts

to trickle out of the bottom so you have to put in enough solid food to make it

trickle through slowly enough that it doesn't back up too much and fast enough

that it stays in the pouch long enough to flip the switch (about 20min).

Hope this helps

- Ada

5'6 " Age 26

364 / 285 / 194

Consult/Band Day/Now

7.20.06/3.19.07/10.15.07

Lap Band by Dr. Greene in Rockville, MD

__________________________________________________

October 17, 2007

,

My journey has been a wild ride at times.This whole process is

difficult for most.Don't be hard on yourself and no need to

appologize for your feelings and struggles.We are all her to help

and support each other. Good luck on your journey.

SharonS

In , " cindywebb1667 "

<cindywebb1667@...> wrote:

>

> OMG SharonS !!!! What a journey you have been through - now I

truly

> feel bad for complaining. Thank you soooo much for sharing that

the

> other side is not always greener ! You are truly a courageous

woman !

>

> I should also mention that I work with a woman who had RNY one

month

> before me (June 2007) - She has lost 100 lbs and I am extremely

> jealous. I work in a small office and she sits within eye site of

> me. I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us

and

> our weight loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her

> anything about her RNY. Maybe this feeling of being under a

> microscope is pushing me to want more than I know I can have. In

> hindsight I should never have said anything about having the band.

>

> Once I made a list of all the reasons I needed to lose weight from

> playing with my grandkids to personal hygiene issues. I used this

> list to get me motivated to do SOMETHING. Now I think I need to

make

> a list of the things that are going better for me now....from

making

> right food choices cause I WANT to - to eating slower and chewing

> better.

>

> Thank you all for pulling me back to reality. I'm sorry I was

such a

> baby.

>

October 17, 2007

I was told egg size - but I do eat 1 - 1 1/2 cups of food per meal by

stopping myself at that portion (most times). Other times I can eat

and eat and eat without any feelings that tell me the band is there.

I think the bottom part of my 'funnel' is still too big to hold the

food for long. That is why I wanted the third fill.

Even SandyR's instructions in the " Files " portion of this group

mentions the possibility of needing a fill if you can (and I quote):

" 1. You feel like you are making healthy food choices in appropriate

portion sizes but gettting hungry between meals

2. You can still eat white bread, fibrous vegetables and large

portions

3. You are having to struggle to lose

4. You are gaining weight in spite of eating right, exercising and

having a good mind set. "

#1-2 and 3 apply to me. #4 does not.

Thanks for the advice though - what you said makes perfect sense. If

I stopped at 3 oz protein and 1/2 cup vegetables I'd be starving

(complete with tummy growling) in a couple hours!

I wish I could unplug the hunger switch - to heck with just turning

it off !

cindy

>

> ,

>

> How much do you consider a bandster portion. you keep mentioning

that your pouch is egg sized. Bandsters usually eat 1 to 1-1/2 cups

of food for a meal. 3oz protein and 1/2 cup of veggies is usually a

good guideline. if you are only eating an egg sized portion you will

never get full enough to turn you hunger switch off. the band acts

like a funnel, as you are putting food in it starts to trickle out of

the bottom so you have to put in enough solid food to make it trickle

through slowly enough that it doesn't back up too much and fast

enough that it stays in the pouch long enough to flip the switch

(about 20min).

>

> Hope this helps

>

> - Ada

>

> 5'6 " Age 26

> 364 / 285 / 194

> Consult/Band Day/Now

> 7.20.06/3.19.07/10.15.07

> Lap Band by Dr. Greene in Rockville, MD

> __________________________________________________

>

October 17, 2007

Thank you all for your understanding and support - it means a great

deal to me. And....I'll say it again, SharonS - you are a courageous

woman.

> >

> > OMG SharonS !!!! What a journey you have been through - now I

> truly

> > feel bad for complaining. Thank you soooo much for sharing that

> the

> > other side is not always greener ! You are truly a courageous

> woman !

> >

> > I should also mention that I work with a woman who had RNY one

> month

> > before me (June 2007) - She has lost 100 lbs and I am extremely

> > jealous. I work in a small office and she sits within eye site

of

> > me. I always feel like the people in the office are comparing us

> and

> > our weight loss. She is not a nice person so I cannot ask her

> > anything about her RNY. Maybe this feeling of being under a

> > microscope is pushing me to want more than I know I can have. In

> > hindsight I should never have said anything about having the band.

> >

> > Once I made a list of all the reasons I needed to lose weight

from

> > playing with my grandkids to personal hygiene issues. I used this

> > list to get me motivated to do SOMETHING. Now I think I need to

> make

> > a list of the things that are going better for me now....from

> making

> > right food choices cause I WANT to - to eating slower and chewing

> > better.

> >

> > Thank you all for pulling me back to reality. I'm sorry I was

> such a

> > baby.

> >

>

October 18, 2007

Sharon,

i have a bridge club in florida and now the snowbirds are beginning

to trickle down. most come in and say, " you're shrinking every time

i see you. you look so wonderful " , (most saw my weight loss before

they left, but came back to my face lift and the difference is

sometimes pretty dramatic (to me, at least). And back to back from

you lost so much, one came in yesterday and said, " you're puttin it

back on but you still look good " . incidentally, i am not puttin it

back on.

one said, " you lost so much weight, how come your pants still

fit? " . LOL i replied, " beats me!! " lol. " try this concept on for

size: NEW PANTS!!!!!!! " LOL

people are strange sometimes. i know that in my experience with

respect to weight, lots of people like to " weigh in " with their

opinion and advise " fatties " to lose weight. however, not enuf loss

that it would impinge upon their feeling of superiority. (ie: how

could you let yourself go like that?)

in the past i have been lectured ad infinitum on losing weight. and

when i got on a program that was working, i would get plenty of " enuf

already " if the perpetrators felt my weight loss was threatening

them. its really peculiar, but it happens.

so, although the negative comments do have their impact, i try to

focus on the positive ones.

funny thing: i was visiting my mom in august when my daughter and

SIL came over from France. I wear a lot of black, mainly because I

can't find a darker color. anyway, my mom suggested that since i've

lost so much weight, i don't need to wear black anymore. " try some

colors for a change " , said she. so i wore a light green shirt in

the same style as my black ones. " ah " , she said, commenting on the

nice change. the next day i returned to a black shirt. so what was

her reaction? " oh, you look thinner today " (in black) i nearly

wet my pants laughing. i responded " DUH "

george

p.s. i serve a lite lunch at my club. if i so much as take a 1 " x2 "

saltine with a smear of cream cheese on it, 20 people will say. " uh

oh, there you go. you shouldn't be doing that. " meanwhile, they've

put on the feedbag and gorge on the free food. of course, i respond

with, " oh, you're right. i was supposed to stop eating altogether. i

just forgot. " ---

In , " Sharon Crawford " <sharon@...>

wrote:

>

> >> UGH, PEOPLE! I have one in my office who asks how I'm able to

eat

> something crunchy (like rice cakes), but not ground beef.<<

>

> Even worse are the people who say " Should you be eating that? "

> Few things are ruder than commenting on what or how much other

people

> are eating.

//

October 18, 2007

Ada,

i believe the " egg size " refers to the pouch empty. i'm sure it

deflates to that size. but it expands as does the regular stomach

when it gets fed.

our pot bellies are not like the stoves of the same name where you

just throw fuel into a fat open recepticle. ours get small when

empty.

george

by the way, you have had a remarkable loss. it is very heartening

to see your kind of success. you're now a star in my book.

-- In , Ada <lap.bandit@...> wrote: