Hi everyone

[Guest guest]

Hi, .

Sorry for any off-topic posts of mine! Will stay on subject from now on!

Good luck with your any-day-now baby!!!! Make sure to keep us posted.

Cathi

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

You are in our thoughts and prayers as your birth date draws near. Looking

forward to meeting in person soon too. My # 938-3410. When we meet in the

fall or before to talk about VRAN, we could talk about an organized archives

like you suggest below, maybe I could help.'

Krista

HI everyone

>From: " Mom2Q " <mom2q@...>

>

>I think I need to address some issues from the list. For anyone new I'm

> and your List Owner. I expecting a baby anyday now and have fallen

a

>bit behind in the mail from the list over the past few days.

>

>The main issue for this list is vaccines. We have made a jump away from

the

>main topic at hand recently. Personally I feel that it is great to talk

>about other things but the high volume of mail has been very difficult for

>some and we have lost members because of it. When it comes to other

topics,

>like the juice/milk discussion, maybe we could e-mail the person privately

>when discussing alternatives/suggestions.

>

>There is a space on the ONELIST server for shared files for this list. I

>think it would be a great idea to get together different files to post so

>all members can access them and get info that is commonly asked. I would

>like to put together a FAQ list, a list of diseases and symptoms, etc...

Now

>of course my first priority is my family and the upcoming birth of my baby

>so my time is very limited. This is something I would love to do and will

>start working on. My webpage has a list of vaccine exemptions, books,

>schedules, websites...for now this will have to do. I welcome any

>suggestions or help!!

>

>Also some people have mentioned maybe putting together a chat so we can all

> " talk " . I have ICQ and would love to set up a time to chat with anyone.

>For those that don't have ICQ, you can download it for free from

>www.mirabilis.com If anyone is interested let me know.

>

>I'm sure there was something else I wanted to mention but my preggo brain

is

>at it's worst right now! Anyone can e-mail at anytime privately with

>questions or concerns.

>

>You can access and search the archives from this list at :

>

>/archives.cgi/Vaccinations

>

>You will have to register with e-mail address and password to access the

>files.

>

>This list is wonderful and I'm thankful that so many of us have this forum

>to exchange info and give support!

>

>

>List Owner

>www.geocities.com/Heartland/Fields/2460

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>How many communities do you think join ONElist each week?

>

>More than 5,000! Create yours now!

>

[Guest guest]

Tyra, I sure hope your feeling better, sometimes

cancer can be as hard on the family as it is on the

person going through it, I can surely relate to what

your going through, I know it is hard to deal with all

that we have on our plates sometimes, I know I have

had one real bad year, but things will get better, if

you ever want to just chat please get ahold of me, I

am here for you, I have been going through some

simuliar things lately, so I do understand,<br>I hope your

feeling better soon! SMILE!<br>Sunflower.........

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/20/2000 12:03:16 PM Central Standard Time,

kimi_coconuts@... writes:

<< Do you live with fear that your child will contract a disease from another

who was recently vaccinate. >>

My dd and ds had measles (from a vac'd child) at 1yo and 5yo. CP, 8 months

later (from a vac'd chld), and mumps a month or so later (from a vac'd

child). We also had whooping cough (obviously from vac'd child, my child was

the only one NOT vac'd in the class), RSV, and a 'hole host of colds and

flus. Do I worry? No. I would not have chosen that my son contract these

illnesses in the mutated versions, and as early as he did, but he did and we

got through it okay. The cp scared me a little, because he really got hit

bad, and did 2 rounds. But we suffered more from cabin fever last year than

anything else. Your friend is right, her child's immune system probably is

not quite up to par. My son routinely held on to colds/flu for 10 days until

we specifically worked at boosting his immune system. Now, he has had the

flu 2 times since July, and no colds (I live in -0 area), so he's doing very

well. But it took a lot of work. I look at it this way: Colds and flu are

viruses. Once you get it, it won't return. Perhaps a member of the family

will, but you will have the benefit of your body being able to recognize it,

so the severity should lessen. I'd rather my kids get the colds and flus now

while I'm here to take care of them, and their body's are resilient, than to

become one of those rude, sneezing, coughing, germy people I used to work

with, who never seemed to get over anything. Yuk.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/20/00 1:03:24 PM Eastern Standard Time,

kimi_coconuts@... writes:

<< She won't take him to malls or public places at all because of her fear.

I, on the other hand take my dd everywhere with me. Now, >>

Our Naturepath says it's great to get their immune systems working by

exposing them to different germs,e tc! I take my dd everywhere, also!

Kerin

[Guest guest]

>What do you all do to keep your child involved? Do you live with fear

that your child will contract a disease from another who was recently

vaccinate.<

Hi Kimi,

is 16 months old and never been vaccinated. I take him

wherever I go. He also spends time with other kids. We started

Gymboree when he was 6 months and a playgroup a few months later. We

also go to LLL meetings twice a month where there are other toddlers he

plays with. The vast majority of those kids are fully vaccinated. He's

had a couple colds, but nothing serious. All the parents involved in

our activities are good about keeping their kids home if they are sick.

He's really benefited from the activities and I've never been concerned

about his health. He still gets most of his calories from breastmilk

and the rest of his diet his healthy. He loves to go places and when I

get his snowsuit out he goes and sits down on it so I can put it on him.

Just my .02

[Guest guest]

At 06:01 PM 01/20/2000 -0000, you wrote:

>From: kimi_coconuts@...

>

I guess my question is, do you avoid public places and vaccinated children to

protect your child? Do you think that it's wrong to take

>my child out? My dd is at an age where I'd like to see her around more children

but that means having her play with children who have been recently vaccinated.

I know there is evidence of children contracting diseases from vaccinated

children, my midwife tells me this all the time. I don't have any other friends

who do not vaccinate,

>so I'm at a loss.

>

>What do you all do to keep your child involved? Do you live with fear that your

child will contract a disease from another who was recently vaccinate.

Kimi,

Try not to live in fear of disease. I 'protect' my children through nutrition

and lifestyle. Organic, unprocessed wholefoods, as much outdoor time as possible

and I do not interfere with my children's illnesses when they come. When

feverish, I let them ride it out and give them plenty of freshly squeezed

organic juices.

Having said that, if I know a playmate of my kids has been recently vaccinated,

- I am cautious.

I feel more confident with my unvaccinated children around others than I would

if they were fully vaccinated.

best and welcome,

Seb.

[Guest guest]

Tami, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED this ;-)

God bless, Bonnie

**********************************With God, ALL things are possible**********************************

Bonnie,You are doing just great. Believe me, the others on the board and in yourself when we say, you're going to do wonderfully and see outstanding results! One of these days you're going to wake up from your beautiful dream filled sleep, look in the mirror and say, "Who in the entire world is that gorgeous, thin woman?" Don't misunderstand me, I feel that you have enough reason to do that now, in the exact marvelous state that you find yourself in at this exact moment. But won't it be nice to have the fabulous body to go with all the other beauty seen in you! It will happen and never doubt it for even a second.

[Guest guest]

Hi!

Glad to hear you are feeling better.

{{{HUGS}}} & God bless, Bonnie

**********************************************With God, ALL things are possible.**********************************************

[Guest guest]

I'm glad you're feeling better Zeph, it's good to hear from you. Take it

easy and get yourself completely well, and don't overdo it.

Hi Everyone

> Hello Everyone!

>

> I just wanted to drop a quick line to say hello. I haven't really read

any

> messages for the last week, only a few, so if I missed responding to

> something, I apologize. I am feeling a lot better and I wanted to say

hello,

> and thank you to everyone for your prayers and concern. I hope everyone

is

> having a fantastic day!

>

> Love & Health,

>

> ~ Zeph =o)

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Hot off the press- summer's here!

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> Please use our list bookstore In Association with Amazon.com If you are

looking for anything, please click on this link first! Thanks!

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>

> If you choose to read the messages from the web, then you might be

interested in getting paid to do it.

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>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm so glad your back home. :-) We missed you. I'm glad things are going

better for you.

I also gained weight when my gallbladder was taken out. My doctor said it

was pretty common after having this type of surgery. But we'll whip you

back into shape. LOL Keep reading the posts and start reporting in daily.

Have you been breathing at all? Are you drinking lots of water? Starting

Thurs. I want you to do at least 10 LL breaths and start flooding your

body with lots of water and please report in so we can root you on or

whip you whatever is necessary. (ha ha)LOL :-)

It's great to hear from you. Have a great night! Start breathing!

Love and prayers from Cincinnati

Liz

________________________________________________________________

YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!

Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!

Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:

http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.

[Guest guest]

I was diagnosed when my daughter was five months

old and I was feeling dizzy and actually passed out

once. I just thought it was because I was so tired from

taking care of the baby and trying to diet to lose my

" baby pounds. " But it wasn't. After I passed out I knew

something was going on, so I went to the doctor. I was

really feeling " emotional " too, but I passed it off as

postpartum depression. That's why it so hard to figure out

(even now) where my symptoms are coming from - because

I have an energetic two year old or my screwed up

thyroid. I'm glad to hear your feeling better. I still

have my bad days too, but more often than not I'm

managing. <br><br>Debbie

[Guest guest]

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when my son

was 8 months old, he is now 4. I too felt weak all

the time and so blessedly tired but I chalked it up

to having 2 small children and a daycare.<br><br>Did

you know that more women are diagnosed with

depression when really they have hypothyroidism? The

symptoms are so similiar. Also, I just don't think doctors

realize how prevalent this disease seems to be. Doctors

also feel it is fairly easy to treat but that's a

bunch of poo as far as I'm concerned. They are so stuck

on lab values rather than how we the patient is

feeling. Oh well, just needed to get that off my chest.

<br><br>Take care,<br><br>Tyra

[Guest guest]

You can log on to egroups and read the mail from the web if you'd like. Just select vaccinations from the list after logging on, then select messages. Hope this helps you out.

Annette

-----Original Message-----From: G [mailto:Mom2Q@...]Sent: Sunday, October 15, 2000 10:51 AMVaccinationsegroupsCc: NoVaccinesegroupsSubject: Hi EveryoneI have been having major problems with my mail server and I have been able to retrieve any messages from the group since Friday. So if anyone needs anything you can e-mail me at my Hotmail addy:NoVaccines@...For now I have to wait until either my ISP or my husband can figure out what is wrong.Thanks,List Owner_________________________________________________________________________Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com.

[Guest guest]

Annette,

, who wrote that she was having a hard time logging on, is the

LISTOWNER! ;-)

Sheri

You can log on to egroups and read the mail from the web if you'd like.

Just select vaccinations from the list after logging on, then select

messages. Hope this helps you out.

Annette

>>Thanks,

>>

>>

>>List Owner

>>_____________

--------------------------------------------------------

Sheri Nakken, R.N., MA

Vaccination Information & Choice Network, Nevada City CA

http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/vaccine.htm

" All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men ( &

women) do nothing " ...Edmund Burke

ANY INFO OBTAINED HERE NOT TO BE CONSTRUED AS MEDICAL OR LEGAL ADVICE. THE

DECISION TO VACCINATE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.

Well Within's Earth Mysteries & Sacred Site Tours

http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin

International Tours, Homestudy Courses, ANTHRAX & OTHER Vaccine Dangers

Education, Homeopathic Education

KVMR Broadcaster/Programmer/Investigative Reporter, Nevada City CA

CEU's for nurses, Books & Multi-Pure Water Filters

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

I have added you and your family to our family prayer list and will also add you to our church prayer list.

When my Grandfather died, he had Parkinson's disease and wasn't himself. I felt he was with me for a long time after he died and used to talk to him, telling him things that I wished I had told him while he was still living. We were very close. I finally felt that he left after I told him I forgave him for not staying around longer. My mom had my brother when I was a senior in high school, this was also the year my grandfather died. He had promised to stay around until my brother was born and I got married. He didn't do either. He fell had hurt himself and had to be hospitalized. He was actually petrified of hospitals from a stay in one in earlier life. The last time I went and visited him, I told him we were bringing him home as soon as the Dr.s would let us and that was probably in a day. He didn't believe me and told me so even though it was the truth. He then told me that we was sorry, but he wasn't going to stay any longer. He said he decided that he was going to die that night. He said it was a choice he had made. I thought he was just being depressed, but he did die that night! It was as if he willed himself dead. Anyway, he died, I felt he was still with me in spirit. I could feel him with me, so I talked to him all the time. Like I said, he finally left when I told him I forgave him and I still loved him.

I don't know if this might help your grandmother or not, but she must be so upset. I will pray for her to have peace with herself and the situation and your grandfather.

Thanks for sharing,

Sincerely,~Karmahttp://loaves-n-fishes.com

Hi Everyone

I've just been "lurking" lately...been way too busy. But i just had to write regarding the topics lately! I turned 40 last January, and it really didn't bother me at all! Most people guess me to be in my late 20's to early 30's. My husband is 49, but completely white-headed. (He has that Kenny look!) I'm sure people snicker thinking he robbed the cradle! Anyway, i thought turning 40 was great! For some reason, i've never felt like a "grown-up", but now i somehow feel validated or official!! I know it sounds weird...i can't explain it. I also would like to ask for the prayers of this wonderful group. My precious grandfather committed suicide in June after being diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He had been fighting cancer in various areas of his body for about 20 years, and i suppose he just got tired of fighting. His poor body had been through so much. Understandably, my grandmother is having a difficult time with this. She was lying down in another room and heard the gunshot (or at least what she thought was a gunshot) and found him and called my parents, who only live about 2 blocks away. (My dad is a firefighter/EMT.) My grandfather had thought it out carefully, and had pulled the sheet and his pillow over his head to minimize the "result". Mygrandmother also doesn't see well, and wasn't quite sure what had happened. My parents arrived within 2 minutes, and after my dad had determined that it was, in fact, a gunshot wound and that he wasstill alive, my mom called 911. My grandmother never saw him again after the paramedics took him to the hospital. He died a couple of hours later. She is now having a hard time with the fact that shedid not see him at the hospital. She is constantly asking my dad and my sister (who did see him at the hospital) what he looked like, did he know anything, did he feel pain, etc.... She really didn't want tosee him, because (i think) she thought he would pull through and didn't want that haunting memory. Of course she also misses him terribly, especially this time of year. Please pray for her that she may find peace with this. My grandfather was a "believer", but did not attend church. He was a good, honest man, and always treated people the way Christ would. My grandmother doesn't believe he is in heaven. (although i do!) This also causes her distress. I'm sorry for rambling, but i needed to unload my heavy heart. Please keep my family in your prayers.God Bless,Rhonda :-)

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Karma....and thank you for sharing your story. I will

relate it to my grandmother in hopes that it will help her. I think

she fears that he knew she didn't come in to see him...i don't know.

Today is her birthday and i almost don't want to call her, because i

know how sad she will be and there is nothing i can do to help her.

Thank you again for the prayers.

[Guest guest]

She will be sadder if you don't call her. This is her special day and everyone I know sure does like to get phone calls on their birthday. I would guess your grandma is the same.

You know, I seem to believe that movies seem to have a little bit of truth to them. I am amazed many times when watching them. I am thinking of the movie "The Sixth Sense" I seem to agree with the authors of this movie that the dead really are able to be communicated with and will leave once they have gotten their last communication across. At least that is my interpretation of it. So, I think that is why I think my grandfather felt free to leave after I told him I still loved him and I forgave him for not following through on his promise to stick around until my brother was born and I got married. This all happened back in 1979, way back before the movie "The Sixth Sense" came out.

Maybe if your grandmother hasn't seen that movie, you can watch it with her if she is close enough to you. Or, maybe that is a really dumb idea. I know it is something that I could do with my mother, if my father died. I don't have any grandparents left, so can't relate as to whether it would be a good idea or not.

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! We have actually been together for 23 years instead of 13 since we dated for ten years prior to getting married. We didn't live together, but we were high school sweethearts, dated through college and married after we had graduated.

I hope your grandmother has a wonderful birthday!

Sincerely,~Karmahttp://loaves-n-fishes.com

Re: Hi Everyone

Thank you, Karma....and thank you for sharing your story. I will relate it to my grandmother in hopes that it will help her. I think she fears that he knew she didn't come in to see him...i don't know. Today is her birthday and i almost don't want to call her, because i know how sad she will be and there is nothing i can do to help her. Thank you again for the prayers.

[Guest guest]

I agree with you about the dead being able to communicate with the

living. It's funny, but sometimes i catch my grandfather's scent. I

don't know if it's him, or just someone wearing the same cologne, but

sometimes, it's just me and no one else. I appreciate your caring

and

kind words. I will call her, of course, but i just wish i could make

her happy again.

Happy Anniversary!! I hope ya'll have many, many more!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the anniversary wishes. I hope we have many more too!

I used to catch my grandfathers scent too when I was the only one at home, so I know what you mean.

In my opinion happiness is only found within ones' own self. No one can make another person happy. The person chooses to be happy or not. I have seen many people in situations that seemed unbearable to me, yet the person living it was happy. They apparently had decided to be happy. Look at Mother Theresa, she was one of the happiest people I ever saw, yet she was working with the poorest of the poor in horrible conditions, by my book. I actually never met her, but I saw her on television and read every book about her that I know about.

So, don't beat yourself up over making your grandmother happy, just send her love and she can chose what to do with that. Some people will never be happy no matter what you do for them. Not that your grandmother fits into this category, I am just making a point. All you can do is love her, listen to her if she needs to talk about it and help her to quiet the fear of the unknown.

I sure hope my posts are helping and not causing more problems to you. I will shut up, if they aren't helpful.

Sincerely,~Karmahttp://loaves-n-fishes.com

Re: Hi Everyone

I agree with you about the dead being able to communicate with the living. It's funny, but sometimes i catch my grandfather's scent. I don't know if it's him, or just someone wearing the same cologne, but sometimes, it's just me and no one else. I appreciate your caringand kind words. I will call her, of course, but i just wish i could make her happy again.Happy Anniversary!! I hope ya'll have many, many more!

[Guest guest]

No...please don't shut up, Karma! You are helping and i appreciate

your wisdom. I agree about one choosing to be happy, but i'm one of

those people that has to " fix " everything. If someone got a bad

hair-cut, i'd have to fix it, ya know?? Just one flaw among many of

mine :-) But i do wish i could help her through it. Unfortunately,

i

don't have the time to spend on the phone every night for 2 hours

talking to her. I don't mean to sound cruel, but that's what happens

everytime i call her. I work full-time and have the normal

wife/mother/maid <grin> duties at home when i drag in at night.

Anyway, i don't think i can fully explain how helpless i feel. I am

there for her as much as i can be, but there's no way i can take his

place. I guess that's what i have to realize....and i know she

doesn't expect me to. I know that out of her 3 grandchildren that

i've always been her favorite....and i allow that to put more guilt

and responsibility on me, i think. But she needs more than

what i give. Thanks again for the prayers. I know God can

help, if she'll just open her heart and let Him. Anyhow, i feel like

i'm rambling. I'll close for now. Thanks again, Karma.

Rhonda :-)

[Guest guest]

Hi Rhonda,

You sound like you have the oldest child syndrome!

I am one of those and I think I have to fix everything too! I for some stupid reason also think that everyone else in the world must have the answers except me, I am the only one who is not allowed to make mistakes and must do it perfect the first time! I have worked and worked on this flaw for years. It came from being the oldest child of a working mom, I really did raise all my sisters, I remember getting my sister ready for the sitters house and walking them there, dropping them off and heading to school, the thing I didn't tell you was that I was in kindergarten! My sister was only three. Now, I am not complaining, I didn't think anything was wrong with it then, and I still don't. It was just how things were done in the area I grew up. But, it did cause me to be very protective of everyone and try to fix everyone too! It also made me think I was a grown up when I was actually only 6 years old. I can relate to what you are saying.

Sincerely,~Karmahttp://loaves-n-fishes.com

Re: Hi Everyone

No...please don't shut up, Karma! You are helping and i appreciate your wisdom. I agree about one choosing to be happy, but i'm one of those people that has to "fix" everything. If someone got a bad hair-cut, i'd have to fix it, ya know?? Just one flaw among many of mine :-) But i do wish i could help her through it. Unfortunately,i don't have the time to spend on the phone every night for 2 hours talking to her. I don't mean to sound cruel, but that's what happens everytime i call her. I work full-time and have the normal wife/mother/maid <grin> duties at home when i drag in at night. Anyway, i don't think i can fully explain how helpless i feel. I am there for her as much as i can be, but there's no way i can take his place. I guess that's what i have to realize....and i know she doesn't expect me to. I know that out of her 3 grandchildren that i've always been her favorite....and i allow that to put more guilt and responsibility on me, i think. But she needs more than what i give. Thanks again for the prayers. I know God can help, if she'll just open her heart and let Him. Anyhow, i feel like i'm rambling. I'll close for now. Thanks again, Karma.Rhonda :-)

[Guest guest]

Karma,

Actually, i am the middle child! My sister (the oldest) was very

sick

as a child and, therefore, got most of my mom's attention. My

brother

(the baby) was the only male child, and a red-head to boot....and

spoiled by all who passed by! I had to help to take care of my

sister, as well as, get school and homework assignments from her

teachers when she was out sick, and let her friends know how she was

doing. Since she was sickly and weak, i also had to defend her from

bullies :-) And since my brother was little, i also had to defend

him

from the bullies. I wasn't mean, or a trouble-maker, i just took it

upon myself to defend my family. I have to control those tendencies

to this day...guess that's why i have to fix everything! LOL! But i

have to be really careful when my son (nearly 8) has a " problem " with

a buddy :-) Did you see the movie, " The Hand that Rocks the Cradle " ?

If so, then you'll know what i'm talking about when i say i could

easily be like her in the " playground scene " when a kid was picking

on

her " child " . LOL!

Rhonda :-)

[Guest guest]

Middle child, very interesting. I never would have guessed. :-)

No, I never saw that movie. I saw the reviews and it looked like it would give me nightmares. I can't really watch shows where kids get hurt or look like they might get hurt. It bothers me too much.

Sincerely,~Karmahttp://loaves-n-fishes.com

Re: Hi Everyone

Karma,Actually, i am the middle child! My sister (the oldest) was verysick as a child and, therefore, got most of my mom's attention. Mybrother (the baby) was the only male child, and a red-head to boot....and spoiled by all who passed by! I had to help to take care of my sister, as well as, get school and homework assignments from her teachers when she was out sick, and let her friends know how she was doing. Since she was sickly and weak, i also had to defend her from bullies :-) And since my brother was little, i also had to defendhim from the bullies. I wasn't mean, or a trouble-maker, i just took it upon myself to defend my family. I have to control those tendencies to this day...guess that's why i have to fix everything! LOL! But i have to be really careful when my son (nearly 8) has a "problem" with a buddy :-) Did you see the movie, "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"?If so, then you'll know what i'm talking about when i say i could easily be like her in the "playground scene" when a kid was pickingon her "child". LOL!Rhonda :-)

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

I think your description fits well on me too, about age. Like feeling

officially " grown-up " ...but all the while the little kid in me stays

youthful...well, I do understand. Anyway, I read of your grandfather

and I have no doubt he is in Heaven. Anyone to suffer cancer for the

amount of times and years as he did, has done his penance on earth.

Brain cancer is the worst and your grandfather, while still able to

" think " for himself knew his fate. Believe he is at peace now. He

took

the responsibility in his own hands and I feel it was his way of

protecting your grandmother, by not becoming her burden. He loved you

all too much and knew what the outcome was ahead for him. He left

because he did not wish to waste away before her eyes. He wanted to

go

while he still had all his facilities. I am sure its very difficult

for you all, especially your grandmother when goodbye's as this are

so

final and without warning.

My great-great-grandmother lived a full life and prayed every night

she would die in her sleep. Telling her grandchildren she was fearful

otherwise. One evening after dinner, she got up and said good-bye to

all her relatives and told them, " Good night, you won't see me in the

morning, so remember I love you. " They thought her a bit quirky and

old age setting in of course. She went to sleep that night and never

awakened. She knew...

God rest your grandfather's soul and may your grandmother find peace

in his decision and know that he must have loved her greatly to not

wish to be a burden to her. Because that's how we humanly feel when

we

are in such a state. Fear makes us act differently and it is what

drives us to do things that no one around us understands. Your

grandfather knew what he was up against and after jumping all the

hurdles before him, this was the toughest of all. I pray that your

grandmother and your family find peace and comfort with all that

you've had to endure. I'll keep you in my prayers.

God Bless you, Tig

> I've just been " lurking " lately...been way too busy. But i just

had

> to write regarding the topics lately! I turned 40 last January,

and

> it really didn't bother me at all! Most people guess me to be in

my

> late 20's to early 30's. My husband is 49, but completely

> white-headed. (He has that Kenny look!) I'm sure people

> snicker thinking he robbed the cradle! Anyway, i thought turning

40

> was great! For some reason, i've never felt like a " grown-up " , but

> now i somehow feel validated or official!! I know it sounds

> weird...i can't explain it.

>

> I also would like to ask for the prayers of this wonderful group.

My

> precious grandfather committed suicide in June after being

diagnosed

> with terminal brain cancer. He had been fighting cancer in various

> areas of his body for about 20 years, and i suppose he just got

tired

> of fighting. His poor body had been through so much.

> Understandably, my grandmother is having a difficult time with

this.

> She was lying down in another room and heard the gunshot (or at

least

> what she thought was a gunshot) and found him and called my

parents,

> who only live about 2 blocks away. (My dad is a firefighter/EMT.)

> My grandfather had thought it out carefully, and had pulled the

sheet

> and his pillow over his head to minimize the " result " . My

> grandmother also doesn't see well, and wasn't quite sure what had

> happened. My parents arrived within 2 minutes, and after my dad

had

> determined that it was, in fact, a gunshot wound and that he was

> still alive, my mom called 911. My grandmother never saw him again

> after the paramedics took him to the hospital. He died a couple of

> hours later. She is now having a hard time with the fact that she

> did not see him at the hospital. She is constantly asking my dad

and

> my sister (who did see him at the hospital) what he looked like,

did

> he know anything, did he feel pain, etc.... She really didn't want

to

> see him, because (i think) she thought he would pull through and

> didn't want that haunting memory. Of course she also misses him

> terribly, especially this time of year. Please pray for her that

she

> may find peace with this. My grandfather was a " believer " , but did

> not attend church. He was a good, honest man, and always treated

> people the way Christ would. My grandmother doesn't believe he is

in

> heaven. (although i do!) This also causes her distress. I'm sorry

> for rambling, but i needed to unload my heavy heart. Please keep

my

> family in your prayers.

>

> God Bless,

> Rhonda :-)