need feedback

[Guest guest]

I am using fictious initials for the two people i am talking about below. K is

an female and J is a male..He is 56 and she is 42 and i am 38.

I need to ask you something. You need to read all the way through before

answering. In the advice group i mention that the guy i mention below which his

initial is J about the ending of my connection to him and him to me if it is an

ending why he said and did what he did to me in how he ended it. it wont be

until after tues next week if he even contacts me again.

First off I am trying to figure out if I have valid reason to feel this way

or not and ..... in if i am assuming something on him that isn't true in that he

is a " sleaze " when our conversations have not implied that about him... But one

guy told me that if a guy is having issues and is separated from his wife even

while living with her then he is not being an emotionally healhty male.

.. I email to the group advice something about me and being hurt by someone

and one of the women in the group (the group is coed)-ask me if in the group if

i was hurt by someone in the group. I email her privately and and she email me

privately and informed me about the guys i could trust in the group. J the one

of the guys she mention in the group I could trust and had hoped he hadn't been

the one to hurt me-J is the one i ask you about before-after the stars he is the

one i mention below is one of the ones she mention... K her initial said that

her and J is best friends from the group i am a part of and J is still married

but separated from his wife but still living with his wife. S and K (the gal in

the group I am a part of) are not in the same state but have talked daily like i

have to S-him; and He has given her time limits too and He said he need time

alone to do his studies and the gal in the group that i am a part of will not

contact him until after tues. He or she

volunteered that she would not contact him until after tues. is the way i am

reading her response to me.

he (S) told me that becuase I needed to much from him which he said he

couldn't handle -he said that unless it was a major issue I could contact him

but if it wasn't then i was not to contact him. It was never a major issue

before with how much in a response he was giving me-he was being detailed before

and didn't have a problem with it before. I dont know if that means not ever

again or until after studies and I dont know if that is his way of ending the

contact for good or not. or if he is doing that so that i don't bother him

because he is goign to school. ( Otherwise: His words were dont contact him if

it is not a major issue;I dont know if he did that because he felt like I

wouldn't honor his request or not but I have done so before of honoring his

request and he knows that)

If K is best friends which i thought only spouses were best friends not best

friends with another female who is not a wife... (He, the guy from the group, is

intending from what he told me without saying it is to separate from his wife

and move away from her but right now he can't becuase of a job loss and going to

school)

the gal from the group the same one i am in says that she has been helped by

him and that he likes to help women..that is true becuase he so to me too. I

hope i am not assuming something that isn't true about him.. He is kind and

considered etc. and has helped me, he is 56 years old... It does hurt that she

is talking to him but it also hurts in that he has treated us the same but has

assumed something about me that is not true and then after I reveal how much his

comments benefit me and how.. and length of time -then he ends it or whatever he

has done by email to me in his last email to me which i mention above in what he

said to me in it .... This was the weekend March 11th...

I need to know if i am reading his response right in that he wants contact

but not now or no contact at all and whatever else you can give me...

What are your thoughts?

JudithS

Judith s

USA.

email is: judith9086@...

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