RE: [SPAM] Re: Helping child deal with death

[Guest guest]

DITTO on the so what! If people think he is inappropriate well tough.

Becky

----- Original Message -----

From: C M

Sent: 11/17/2006 2:22:28 PM

Subject: [sPAM] [ ] Re: Helping child deal with death

Becky, I'm so sorry to hear about your father! Your family will be in my prayers.Perhaps you and could go to the funeral home at a time when there will be very few people there, so maybe he could get all the questions out and answered beforehand. If you know he will repeat the questions, at least you will know what they are.I like the idea of another poster (I forget your name - sorry!) who suggested a trusted family member be with him the whole time, since no doubt, you will have other responsibilities and need to grieve and talk to visitors yourself.And you know what? If despite all your creative thinking and exhaustive preparations, is socially inappropriate, SO WHAT! If a child on the autism spectrum (which includes a social disability) is viewed negatively at his own grandfather's funeral by able-bodied and able-minded adults, the problem lies not with the child. If loves his grandpa and if his grandpa loves , he deserves to be there. Chris>> I am sorry for starting the day with such a hard topic. But I am at a lose right now on how to handle this and need as much input as can be offered.> > My father is losing a 10 year battle with lung deaese. He has been in ICU since late Sunday and each day has been harder and harder for him to get air moving. We took up to see him Monday, butit took 30 of him standing at Dads door before he would let us guide him in. Even than all he could do is sit in the chair ad not talk to anyone. I have accepted the fact that may not be able to talk to his Grandpa when he looks like this. So I have not forced him to go in the room or even go to the hospital.> > Mom and Dad met with all his specialist this morning and Dad has asked that he be allowed to go. I will respect my father wishes, no matter how hard they are, but I am worried about reaction after he passes. We have lost other close to us but never anyone this close. I also know that will go into his 3-6 week stage of talking about death, dieing, everyone is dying, why did grandpa die, how did grandpa did, why did his lung stop, why didn't the doctors help him, and etc. Bob & I understand why he is asking these questions, but other familiy memebrs will get highly upset when he contains to ask these question. I am trying to develop aplan to hand things when he ask people, and he will be asking everyone at the funeral home, the funeral and he sees until he has it all out of his head. I also know that will be in a drop of the dime crying state for a while over mssing his Grandpa. I understand this is normal. I have called the therapist that used to work> with him and also have talked to a social worker with Stain Hospit about their grief program for kids and she is hooking us up with them today. > > Please help me figure out what we can do to help be more social approprate in this setting> Becky> > > Becky > Mother to , 16, Autism, Epilepsy, Cerebal Palsy, MR, ADHD> > Everybody has barriers and obstacles. If you look at them as containing fences that don't allow you to advance, then you're going to be a failure. If you look at them as hurdles that strengthen you each time you go over one, then you're going to be a success. > Carson > Surgeon> > > ---------------------------------> Sponsored Link> > $420,000 Mortgage for $1,399/month - Think You Pay Too Much For Your Mortgage? Find Out!>