Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 rmaher1969@... EarthLink Revolves Around You. ----- Original Message ----- From: rmaher1969@... Sent: 5/5/2006 12:36:22 PM Subject: RE: [ ] My day All suffering is relative. I wonder if a man who has lost his ability to walk envies the man who lost his hearing; saying “At least you can still walk.” I have found myself feeling this way about my life with my autistic son. When he was first diagnosed I went to a support group meeting for parents of children with various disabilities and medical conditions that I cannot pronounce or remember. What I do remember is feeling immense guilt as the circle of parents introduced themselves and described -with drawn faces- the brain shunts and feeding tubes; quoting statistics about the prevalence of their child’s rare disorder. My son is perfectly healthy. He is a hearty, strong boy. He has no life threatening condition. Yet, wrapped deep inside my guilt was envy. I thought; “At least your child knows that you exist; they say ‘I love you.’ Suffering is minute-by-minute. It shows you what is possible; in those fleeting moments when your child looks out the window and says “Looks like rain.” You run through a list in your mind, trying to determine if you have just heard a spontaneous remark or if he is repeating something he has heard before. Suffering is despising people who load you up with platitudes about being chosen to parent an autistic child. I didn’t sign up for this. I was drafted! I’m not patient. I require eight hours of sleep. I have no faith in God. I avoid confrontation. Is this a test? I’m failing miserably. Alienation by my own choice; I don’t know these people anymore. How did I ever know them? So shallow, such trivial lives! Then the waves of envy, guilt, and hatred come. I wish I had the luxury of living a trivial life. Suffering is laughing when life comes at you with both barrels because laughter is all there is. Autism is a delicate walk through a maze of tripwires daily. The cruel uncertainty of the day faces you every morning. “ I must remember that they have set up carnival rides in the K-Mart parking lot; I have to take a different route for the next few days. He caught sight of it yesterday. I turn right instead of left to avoid the carnival confrontation. He knows! Turn right- melt down! This will make him have a bad day at school today. I have to send him to school today, I have errands I have to run. After fifteen minutes he still screams, kicking and clawing, spitting and crying. Giving in will prove to be a problem tomorrow and the next day until the carnival is gone. Should I give in? He has to learn that he cannot have what he wants all the time.” We turn around, I spend my phone bill money to buy cotton candy, a Sponge Bob balloon, and tickets for three rides. He refuses to ride any rides, but he likes to watch the spinning teacups. He stands watching them spin, holding his balloon. He glances skyward and lets go of the balloon watching it until it disappears. He grabs my hand, sticky with half eaten cotton candy and says “ , you have to go with Beck.” Which means “I love you and I want to be with you, mom” If this is suffering, I’ll live it every day for the rest of my life. All suffering is relative and I envy no one today. ----- Original Message ----- From: Autism NE Parent Support Sent: 4/22/2006 9:12:38 PM Subject: [ ] Summer and Fall Services Integrations Treatment Center in Mentor Ohio is currently accepting applications for the Fall 2006 Day Treatment Program for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. There may also be a few openings available for the Summer 2006 program. You are invited to an informational meeting on Tuesday May 2nd at 7PM at Integrations Treatment Center (8671 Tyler Blvd., Unit F, Mentor, Ohio 44060) to receive details about the Day Treatment Program. The following programs may be available to your child:• PRESCHOOL GROUP (9:30-2:30 Monday through Thursday*)• KINDERGARTEN GROUP (9:30-2:30 Monday through Thursday*)• SCHOOL-AGE GROUPS (9:30-2:30 Monday through Friday*)*Program times are subject to change.Integrations Treatment Center is a provider for the Ohio Department of Education Autism Scholarship program.The program is high quality, intense, and individualized. Group sizes are small (3-6 children each). Treatment is based on the child’s needs and may include Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Nutrition Therapy, Special Education, and Music Therapy. Staff members are extensively trained in Autism Spectrum Disorders. The program features a Typical Peer Program where typically developing children participate during social activity periods to improve social, language, and play skills. Treatment approaches include sensory integration programming, play based therapy, ABA programming, social skills training, academic instruction, and language based intervention.Please, call Yashila Crowell at (440) 578-1100 or email at yashilac@... with any questions, for directions to ITC, or to RSVP to the ITC Information Night. We look forward to meeting you!Sincerely,e Sweet, PTClinical Coordinator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 All suffering is relative. I wonder if a man who has lost his ability to walk envies the man who lost his hearing; saying “At least you can still walk.” I have found myself feeling this way about my life with my autistic son. When he was first diagnosed I went to a support group meeting for parents of children with various disabilities and medical conditions that I cannot pronounce or remember. What I do remember is feeling immense guilt as the circle of parents introduced themselves and described -with drawn faces- the brain shunts and feeding tubes; quoting statistics about the prevalence of their child’s rare disorder. My son is perfectly healthy. He is a hearty, strong boy. He has no life threatening condition. Yet, wrapped deep inside my guilt was envy. I thought; “At least your child knows that you exist; they say ‘I love you.’ Suffering is minute-by-minute. It shows you what is possible; in those fleeting moments when your child looks out the window and says “Looks like rain.” You run through a list in your mind, trying to determine if you have just heard a spontaneous remark or if he is repeating something he has heard before. Suffering is despising people who load you up with platitudes about being chosen to parent an autistic child. I didn’t sign up for this. I was drafted! I’m not patient. I require eight hours of sleep. I have no faith in God. I avoid confrontation. Is this a test? I’m failing miserably. Alienation by my own choice; I don’t know these people anymore. How did I ever know them? So shallow, such trivial lives! Then the waves of envy, guilt, and hatred come. I wish I had the luxury of living a trivial life. Suffering is laughing when life comes at you with both barrels because laughter is all there is. Autism is a delicate walk through a maze of tripwires daily. The cruel uncertainty of the day faces you every morning. “ I must remember that they have set up carnival rides in the K-Mart parking lot; I have to take a different route for the next few days. He caught sight of it yesterday. I turn right instead of left to avoid the carnival confrontation. He knows! Turn right- melt down! This will make him have a bad day at school today. I have to send him to school today, I have errands I have to run. After fifteen minutes he still screams, kicking and clawing, spitting and crying. Giving in will prove to be a problem tomorrow and the next day until the carnival is gone. Should I give in? He has to learn that he cannot have what he wants all the time.” We turn around, I spend my phone bill money to buy cotton candy, a Sponge Bob balloon, and tickets for three rides. He refuses to ride any rides, but he likes to watch the spinning teacups. He stands watching them spin, holding his balloon. He glances skyward and lets go of the balloon watching it until it disappears. He grabs my hand, sticky with half eaten cotton candy and says “ , you have to go with Beck.” Which means “I love you and I want to be with you, mom” If this is suffering, I’ll live it every day for the rest of my life. All suffering is relative and I envy no one today. ----- Original Message ----- From: rmaher1969@... EarthLink Revolves Around You. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 rmaher1969@... EarthLink Revolves Around You. ----- Original Message ----- From: rmaher1969@... Sent: 5/5/2006 12:36:22 PM Subject: RE: [ ] My day All suffering is relative. I wonder if a man who has lost his ability to walk envies the man who lost his hearing; saying “At least you can still walk.” I have found myself feeling this way about my life with my autistic son. When he was first diagnosed I went to a support group meeting for parents of children with various disabilities and medical conditions that I cannot pronounce or remember. What I do remember is feeling immense guilt as the circle of parents introduced themselves and described -with drawn faces- the brain shunts and feeding tubes; quoting statistics about the prevalence of their child’s rare disorder. My son is perfectly healthy. He is a hearty, strong boy. He has no life threatening condition. Yet, wrapped deep inside my guilt was envy. I thought; “At least your child knows that you exist; they say ‘I love you.’ Suffering is minute-by-minute. It shows you what is possible; in those fleeting moments when your child looks out the window and says “Looks like rain.” You run through a list in your mind, trying to determine if you have just heard a spontaneous remark or if he is repeating something he has heard before. Suffering is despising people who load you up with platitudes about being chosen to parent an autistic child. I didn’t sign up for this. I was drafted! I’m not patient. I require eight hours of sleep. I have no faith in God. I avoid confrontation. Is this a test? I’m failing miserably. Alienation by my own choice; I don’t know these people anymore. How did I ever know them? So shallow, such trivial lives! Then the waves of envy, guilt, and hatred come. I wish I had the luxury of living a trivial life. Suffering is laughing when life comes at you with both barrels because laughter is all there is. Autism is a delicate walk through a maze of tripwires daily. The cruel uncertainty of the day faces you every morning. “ I must remember that they have set up carnival rides in the K-Mart parking lot; I have to take a different route for the next few days. He caught sight of it yesterday. I turn right instead of left to avoid the carnival confrontation. He knows! Turn right- melt down! This will make him have a bad day at school today. I have to send him to school today, I have errands I have to run. After fifteen minutes he still screams, kicking and clawing, spitting and crying. Giving in will prove to be a problem tomorrow and the next day until the carnival is gone. Should I give in? He has to learn that he cannot have what he wants all the time.” We turn around, I spend my phone bill money to buy cotton candy, a Sponge Bob balloon, and tickets for three rides. He refuses to ride any rides, but he likes to watch the spinning teacups. He stands watching them spin, holding his balloon. He glances skyward and lets go of the balloon watching it until it disappears. He grabs my hand, sticky with half eaten cotton candy and says “ , you have to go with Beck.” Which means “I love you and I want to be with you, mom” If this is suffering, I’ll live it every day for the rest of my life. All suffering is relative and I envy no one today. ----- Original Message ----- From: Autism NE Parent Support Sent: 4/22/2006 9:12:38 PM Subject: [ ] Summer and Fall Services Integrations Treatment Center in Mentor Ohio is currently accepting applications for the Fall 2006 Day Treatment Program for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. There may also be a few openings available for the Summer 2006 program. You are invited to an informational meeting on Tuesday May 2nd at 7PM at Integrations Treatment Center (8671 Tyler Blvd., Unit F, Mentor, Ohio 44060) to receive details about the Day Treatment Program. The following programs may be available to your child:• PRESCHOOL GROUP (9:30-2:30 Monday through Thursday*)• KINDERGARTEN GROUP (9:30-2:30 Monday through Thursday*)• SCHOOL-AGE GROUPS (9:30-2:30 Monday through Friday*)*Program times are subject to change.Integrations Treatment Center is a provider for the Ohio Department of Education Autism Scholarship program.The program is high quality, intense, and individualized. Group sizes are small (3-6 children each). Treatment is based on the child’s needs and may include Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Nutrition Therapy, Special Education, and Music Therapy. Staff members are extensively trained in Autism Spectrum Disorders. The program features a Typical Peer Program where typically developing children participate during social activity periods to improve social, language, and play skills. Treatment approaches include sensory integration programming, play based therapy, ABA programming, social skills training, academic instruction, and language based intervention.Please, call Yashila Crowell at (440) 578-1100 or email at yashilac@... with any questions, for directions to ITC, or to RSVP to the ITC Information Night. We look forward to meeting you!Sincerely,e Sweet, PTClinical Coordinator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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