Re: Questions...My mother is having hip replacement surgery

[Guest guest]

I would have to say CARE FOR THE CARER

There are a number of things that I would suggest your friends can do

to help.

One of the best things that they can do to help your mother is to give

some attention to her husband (the carer). Being a carer at his age,

and with such an op as this is physically and emotionally draining.

In view of your situation these are the things that I would suggest.

1 Sending a prepared meal occassionally would take some of the strain

off the carer. NB: My carer and I really enjoyed having people sit

down and share a meal they had bought too. Somehow makes life seem

more normal.

2 Taking some biscuits or cake so they have something to offer

guests. Works two fold here. Guests enjoy the visit more and are

more likely to come back, and the carer isn't stressed finding

something to feed guests.

3 The more the patient does the exercises the more independence they

will have later. I found the exercises painful and, although I knew

they were for my own good, easy to avoid or forget. Your friends

might visit your mother and suggest that they chat to her while she

does her exercises. Or even a phone call taking care to mention the

exercises as a prompt. Both worked for me, but the visit, worked

better because the visitor made sure the exercises were all done the

required number of times. It was a question of face. (I had the

sheet the physio had given explaining what exercises I should do.

They didn't direct the exercises, just picked up things I needed, and

helped me get my leg moving in the beginning.) I talked to the

physiotherapist about this. She said few people can get motivated

enough to do the exercises 3 times a day without outside support.

4 This will require two friends. one friend to stay with your

mother, the other to take your father out. My husband likes to walk,

10 or 20 klm is a pleasant walk for him. Friends who would stay with

me allowed him to get some of his stress levels down by walking. What

does your father do to relieve his stress? Is it something you can

make sure he gets time to do? It gives him time to have respite from

your mother, and your mother to have respite from your father.

Closeness is great, but this is closeness under tension and

frustration. Give them a break

5 If your father is blind there may be things in the house that he

doesn't notice, but really annoys your mother. Perhaps your friends

can help with household tasks, shopping etc.

I know this sounds like I was the carer, I wasn't. Just recently I

have realised that while everyone was interested and concerned about

me, my husband really wasn't looked after. If he had physically or

emotionally collapsed, in the first month or so, my life would have

been so much more difficult. You want your father in there for the

long haul.

They are most successful ops, and can give people a new life. My

first hip gave me 12 years of pain free " magic " life, am waiting to

see what the revision will do for me, but not pain free yet at 12 weeks.

Hugs

Margaret from Australia.

>

>

> Hello All,

>

> I just joined today looking for some questions to answers that I have.

>

> My mother is 68yo and is scheduled for surgery in mid-January 2005.

> I will not be able to be with her when she has the surgery (I am

> expecting a baby during that time). I won't be able to be with her

> until Mid-March 2005. My mother only has my father (78yo) who is

> legally blind. She is the one right now who does all of the errands

> (driving). My father helps her as much as he is able (i.e. putting

> the wheelchair in and out of the car for her).

>

> I have a brother who is useless, living with them right now and I do

> not know what kind of support he will be able to give to my mother

> when she has her surgery.

>

> I have just read all that I could from the WebMd site.

>

> What I want to know from the people who have had the surgery is:

>

> How long is the recovery period?

> How long is the hospital stay?

> What happens after being discharged from the hospital?

>

> What things do you suggest can be done after the surgery that could

> help my mother (and also my father since he depends on my mother a

> lot)?

>

> I feel really guilty that I cannot be with her. I live on the other

> side of the world from her. I have good friends that live in the

> same city as my parents who could maybe help me but I am not really

> sure right now because I haven't asked them yet.

>

> Please be patient with me while I ask questions. These are the only

> ones that I could think of off the top of my head.

[Guest guest]

>

>

> Hello All,

>

> I just joined today looking for some questions to answers that I

have.

>

> My mother is 68yo and is scheduled for surgery in mid-January

2005.

>

> How long is the recovery period?

> How long is the hospital stay?

> What happens after being discharged from the hospital?

>

> What things do you suggest can be done after the surgery that

could

> help my mother (and also my father since he depends on my mother a

> lot)?

Hi,

You did not sign your name, so I cannot address this to you

persoanlly...I was in a similiar situation, only I had my own hip

replaced and 5 weeks post op for me, my 74 yr old mother fell and

broke her hip. I was non-weight bearing, not driving yet. We made

it with the help of my husband and my 24 yr old son stayed with my

dad for a few days. We ended up placing dad who is totally

dependent on my mother, in a care center until mom felt she was

ready to take care of him again. It was about 3 months. If you

can help they find help, they will need it. Where does she live,

do they offer dial a rides? Is she in the USA is she on

medicare? They will pay for some in home help and physical

therapy.

Your mother will probably be in the hospital 3-4 days and probably

in a care facility 5-10 days depending on her recovery. Then the

healing time is at least 6 weeks. Most doctors will not let one

drive for about 6 weeks.

Make sure your mother has all the required aids to assist recovery.

The hospital will give her a list, like a grabber, a raised toilet

seat...etc.

Good luck, but she will feel so much better a couple of months post-

op. For her to recovery correctly, they will need help.

Valeri

[Guest guest]

Margaret,

Thank you so much for responding back to my post. The things you

wrote about were things that never occured to me to think about. I

was only thinking about getting my mother the gadgets she would need

after the surgery and finding someone to drive my mother to her

appointments and my father to the grocery store.

Thank you so much for your input. God Bless You.

Ann

[Guest guest]

Valeri,

Thank you so very much for responding.

My parents live in San , TX. I am not sure if my mother has

Medicare. She is 68. I know that she has Tri-Care. I don't know if

that is one of those Medicare replacement plans. I will check into

it though. I did not know that Medicare would pay for some of these

expenses for in-home help.

Thank you again and God Bless.

Ann

> If you

> can help they find help, they will need it. Where does she live,

> do they offer dial a rides? Is she in the USA is she on

> medicare? They will pay for some in home help and physical

> therapy.

>

> Your mother will probably be in the hospital 3-4 days and probably

> in a care facility 5-10 days depending on her recovery. Then the

> healing time is at least 6 weeks. Most doctors will not let one

> drive for about 6 weeks.

>

> Make sure your mother has all the required aids to assist

recovery.

> The hospital will give her a list, like a grabber, a raised toilet

> seat...etc.

>

> Good luck, but she will feel so much better a couple of months post-

> op. For her to recovery correctly, they will need help.

>

> Valeri