Re: (unknown)

April 3, 2000

Dr. Mercola recommends cutting down on carbohydrates also - have a look at

rheumatic.org/insulin.htm.

The main points of the diet are plenty of fresh vegetables, little or no sugar

(cakes, chocolates, biscuits etc.), no greasy junk food, at least eight glasses

of water a day.

Chris.

>,

>I have been on a strict low carbohydrate (starch) diet since last June.

>About that same time I started having symptoms of RA. I'm actually on ithe

>diet to eliminate blood sugar swings (hypoglycemia). It 's working

>wonderfully for that. I've also lost about 20#!!!! Even on 10 mg of

>Prednisone! Problem is, it goes against the diet suggested for rhuematoid

>problems. So, guess we all have to pick our preferences.

>The amazing thing is that I've had very good success with the minocin for RA.

> When I started it, I stopped the methotrexate--cold turkey!!! After 9 weeks

>I am pretty much pain free! Have intermittent, short episodes of knuckle and

>foot pain, and fatigue. (Suspect fatigue is from having a bacterial

>infection right now though)

>So, I don't know which has helped most. All I know is that I definitely do

>better on a low carb, high protein/fat diet!!

>You can find out more about the strict low carb diet by going to

>www.guaidoc.com and reading about hypoglycemia and the diet, or check out Dr.

>Atkin's low carb diet which is all the rage these days. Different people

>have better results on one or the other sometimes.

> M.

>

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April 3, 2000

The pain from AS comes from the on-going inflammation. It would be assumed that if you are taking an effective antibiotic protocol, the swelling--and the pain--would be reduced. That's the great hope, anyway--right!??

I was diagnosed with AS a few months ago. The first drug prescribed was Vioxx, which did not seem to help much. I am now taking Indocin--a bit better than Vioxx but there's a lot of room for improvement.

There are several articles about reduced/anti-starch diet to be found at

http://www.kickas.org/

Best of luck,

Lee R

rheumatic (unknown)

Hello Everyone,I've been on antibiotics for almost four years now and have had reasonable results.I have been looking into other methods of treatment which may help ease the pain of Ankylosing Spondylitis.

April 3, 2000

Ok your boyfriend has a slightly sick fettish, you act like we are going to

be a " prop " to win your boyfriend back, who apparently doesnt want

you...everybody is different and its cool that you think all of us, big or

small, are unique in our own ways...which we all are. But if you think so

highly of us, why did you ask us to perform in a degrading favor - a favor

in which makes us AND you look bad.

I am sure you are beautiful with a sense of humor and a great personality,

and great goals for yourself....why let a sicko, lame and selfish guy take

control over you and make you and others look like fools? Drop him, do a

lot of soul searching and take a long look in the mirror at yourself. Then

you'll realize that he doesn't deserve you and neither do we

Gretchen

At 12:17 AM 4/4/00 -0000, you wrote:

>you know what i wish

>i wish people

>

>listned more

>retaliated less

>cared more

>fought less

>tried more

>hid less

>understood more

>judged less

>loved more

>scorned less

>

>Forget anyone else, I like people different from me. ME. I would love

>to make friends and hang out with someone who is like no one I have

>ever been in contact with.

>

>and you say it's sick.

>

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>Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW!

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>

April 4, 2000

For future dogs you might want to look for adult dogs ate the pound,

they have some wonderful dogs there. Recently some SOB dumped 9 puppies

on our road I was only able to find a home for one puppy, Bear, a

Newfoundland/Lab cross and I had to take the rest to the pound. While

there I saw some very sweet adult dogs and pound dogs are so grateful to

have a home. It's the only place I'll get a dog.

Jim & Delaine Lowry wrote:

>

> So sorry to hear the nightmare story about your dog's passing on. It's

> bad enough to have to lose our babies without their passing to be so

> ghastly. I'm so sorry it went badly.

>

> I lost my wonderful giant schnauzer January 22 because of a vet that I'd

>

> like to sue. My dog had blout and he didn't operate on him. By the

> time

> that we found a vet that would operate on him, it was too late.

>

> We have a new puppy; he is Nick's nephew. He is 11 weeks old today.

> He's cute but he's not Nick. I'm wondering if this might be the last

> dog

> that I get because of all the time it takes for new puppies. It takes a

> good

> 2 years to get a puppy to the adult level and with my RA, I just don't

> know

> if I'll have enough energy after this one.

>

> Again, so sorry to hear about this tragedy.

>

> Delaine

> Key West, FL

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds!

> 1. Fill in the brief application

> 2. Receive approval decision within 30 seconds

> 3. Get rates as low as 2.9% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR

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> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 7, 2000

Ann,

Just to let you know, the term psychotic does not mean some raving

lunatic who is about to go out and butcher everybody in sight. I

believe that all that psychotic refers to is a person who suffers from

some sort of hallucinations. Coralee has been labeled as having

psychotic features to depression/bipolar disorder. She has regular

auditory hallucinations where she hears voices kind of telling her

things (I can't get her to tell me what, but she used to tell me that

she would say mean things because the voices told her to say these

things), and she also had one particular visual hallucination that

regularly told her she was going to die if she continued living with us.

Thank G-D she doesn't have that one any more. We banished him (told him

repeatedly that he couldn't hurt us - he never came back). She still

regularly sees angels that talk to her. I do believe in angels, but I

don't believe that they chit chat with us or that we can see them so I

believe these to be additional visual hallucinations. Now I'm

definitely no expert, but from everything I've read, the manic phases of

bipolar disorder can be accompanied by hallucinations. It seems that

sufferers of OCD quite often also have other problems such as bipolar

disorder or major depression, which can also be accompanied by these

hallucinations. Just because he has compulsions that lead him the

conclusion that he's the anti-Christ does not mean he's schizophrenic.

It does mean that he definitely needs help, which you are obviously

trying to get for him. Don't you just hate the term " psychotic " ? It

really does make our kids sound like future mass murderers, when that's

not what it means at all. FYI, psychotic features of depression are

EXTREMELY treatable with medication and chances of relapse I believe are

fairly low. Coralee's hallucinations have definitely reduced. Only the

not so disturbing ones remain at this point. None of the threatening

ones remain. The meds that treat the psychotic features are some of the

same drugs used to treat OCD, but they are not first choice drugs for

OCD. Coralee has been on Zyprexa and Seroquel, both of which helped

with this part of her problems. She's now on Risperdal, but I think the

hallucinations are starting to get a bit worse now, so we REALLY need to

work with the doc on this one.

Definitely get another opinion on the diagnosis because your son doesn't

sound like he has the typical symptoms from what I read when I

researched schizophrenia because of Coralee's hallucinations.

Take care of yourself.

Trudy in KC, MO

-----Original Message-----

From: ctjj04 [mailto:ctjj04@...]

Are the thoughts that my son having simular to anyone else's

children. I hear alot about obsessive thoughts but not so much about

intrusive thoughts.

The thoughts like I said earlier are that he is anti-christ and when

the thoughts come he says they feel so real that it is hard to tell

what is right from wrong.

My son had these thoughts back when he was first diagnosed 5 years

ago and they are pretty much the same. I do not in anyway think that

this makes him psychotic or schizophrenic. He is a very open,loves to

talk,expresses his feelings,caring and does not show any signs to me.

I am going to get that second opinion by the way but still I would

like to hear from others.

Thanks

Ann

April 7, 2000

Dear Trudy,

Thank you so much for your letter. I am understanding more and more

and you helped me a great deal. The best to your family and Coralee.

Ann

April 7, 2000

Ann,

Devon went through a spell that he thought that as much as he knew God

loves him, perhaps he might be attracted to the Devil. These thoughts

bothered him for a long time, but slowly faded over time to be replaced by

other " silly " intrusive thoughts. Devon's psych, just today, discussed with

us the elusiveness of OCD. Just as you think one thing is beat, up pops

another. Of course this anti-christ thing is very disturbing to all of you,

but I think you should trust your instincts on this and until you are

completely convinced otherwise, consider it a manifestation of his OCD. Yes,

do get another opinion (or more!). I agree that the doc. " speculating " in

front of your child was very insensitive. Our pediatrician likes to do that

(discuss everything in front of the child) and we just hate it. Sometimes we

need to bring up issues that our children don't need to be burdened with. In

conclusion, I'd reassure your son that you don't think he is that ill

(interspersing all those things you are proud of him over) and promising that

you will get to the bottom of it and no matter what he is your beloved child

through thick and thin.

In the trenches with you

Elaine

April 8, 2000

Our pediatrician likes to do

that

(discuss everything in front of the child) and we just hate it.

Ava's family doctor did this too until I wrote him a letter telling

him why I valued him as our doctor and what I was concerned about (I was

very specific) and how I hoped that he could make the changes I wanted

him to make in order for us to keep seeing him. I brought Ava in

for a physical (to play sports) about 8 months later and he was wonderful.

About halfway through he said "how am I doing Mom?" I said "totally

groovy" and we've never had a problem since.

Dana in NC

April 10, 2000

,

Have you tried a haircutting program during therapy? We did that for my son

and it worked wonders. We also made many visits to the haircutters just to

visit

(play, get a balloon or candy). Annie

April 13, 2000

hi Leigh...hang in there things always get better..you seem like you are a

strong person too...I read all the time ..if you like to read there are two

books

that i would suggest that you might be interested in.... " Something More " ..I'll

look up the author if you re interested and " WithWngs There Are No Barriers "

......your letter also sounds like you are really frustrated... with your

life..what do you dream of? what would your ideal life entail? Where would you

live?

Who would you be with? How would you spend your days? What do you desire?

Depresion is a very hard thing to cope with..so is pain..that's too bad your

brother is like that! that wouldnt be so great to go through his disbelief in

your

pain and suffering..

How come you have lived with fear and hurt for so long? What was your life like

then?..at age 4!!Do you feel that you look for approval from your brother?

No..arthritis meds. ...do you follow any sort of supplementation and nutrition

plan?

> Re; only girl in the group of ten men...what happened that it all got ruined?

and that you were threatened to be kicked out of my school.

> This is all so sad....life shouldnt be so bad for you..17 yrs old...what a

great age...how can you enjoy life again? i'm 40...and oh to be 17 again...and

know

> what i know now!!

> do you have any ideas of things /ways to pull you through this....have you

ever tried St. 's wort..it's good for mild to moderate depression..ask me

for

> more info..befiore you buy any if you are interested because they are not all

the same.ok.

even certain foods can have reaction to how your brain functions Re:depression

> Why do people gossip about you? does it really matter what they say....please

yourself...!! Lots of times people gossip and they have no idea what they are

> even talking about....usually they are the pathetic ones with nothing better

to do than shoot others down to make themselves feel or look better.

> A person can be a loner but it sucks to be lonely..are you lonely?

> do you have a boyfriend? why don't you go out.?

Why do you feel that you have to stay so strong? What are you protecting

yourself from?

Why do you not show your weaknesses to others...very fe friends see my weak

side...

..I'm a strong person..I grew into being one....I was ugly and a 4 eyed skinny

girl all my life....But I've grown into a person that I love to be...it takes

work

and effort...mainly by self improvement books and learning to be assertive...and

look out for me too....and doing what makes ME happy...that's what you may come

to realize ...look out for you..do what pleases you.....what would make you

happy?.

> Re;worry if they knew the truth, I would break......i sometimes think that

too..people see me as being so strong..we all have our weak moments...no one is

> perfectly strong all the time..when my baby was born with spina bifida..I fell

apart...If I didnt have my boyfriend in my life...I don't know how i would

> have pulled through......best thing is to be yourself..dont worry about what

others think....find a good friend, to laugh with,, cry with and have her/him to

> be there for you...if no one is there...lean on all of us here..we are your

friends too...

> Re; My principal believes in me so much that

> she talked to me about goign to college......Do you fel that you don't believe

in yourself and your capabilities? are you overworked at this present date?

> feeling overwhelmed? Can you lighten your load at all?

Depression usually is a result of suppressed anger or grief...Do you feel that

either could be part of your struggles? Did you have burdens placed on you at a

young age?

Re:must continue to fight. Fight tilldeath....good plan but not to death...to

happiness!!!.

Leigh..always have hope..it may not be a way out but it's always a way

through!!feel free to email me privately or thru the list anytime..ok

Sheena

April 13, 2000

Dearest Leigh,

I want to hug you and tell you that you are not alone. And that anytime you need to write and vent you do so! It does not matter what you say - you write what's in your heart. We do not judge you sweet one. You feel as you do and you have every right to feel as you do! So F**K anyone who says otherwise!

Jack... who is here somewhere... would call you a viking! Us vikings fight and fight and stick together! So wear your horn helmet with pride my fellow viking!

"Since I was four years old, I have been living my life with fear and hurt.

Ok... I'm jumping in. What the hell happened at 4 to cause this? Did someone abuse you hon?

"Never have I received proper care for my depression."

What do you believe that you need to help you get out of your depression? I ask, as so many of us get depressed - I'd say that at least 50% of us on this list suffer from some form of depression. What care would help you sweet one?

"I was just starting to actually enjoy life and live it. At the end of my 8th grade year, I suffered from another tragicy, again. My whole freshman year, I hide from the world and my family. I even tried to take my life a few times."

Oh Leigh *HUG* What happened?? I am so glad that you are still with us. Sheesh... your doctor story sounds so familiar... hang in there babe... there are good doctors amongst the pratts and egos!

"I was so trilled to find this out. Isn't that strange? Being thrilled to findout that you have a problem."

No stranger then me crying my eyes out when I didnt have a brain tumor!! I think it is a relief to know what is going on with your body - it helps you to understand how you feel, and gives you the knowledge to then tackle any problems that you need to like medications, surgeries and other life decisions.

"The arthritis will get worse, like it usually does. I have never receivedany arthritis med."

Well hon, to quote my doctor "this is not acceptable"

There are brand new medications for arthritis, and they can do surgeries that re-coat the bones so they do not rub and cause pain! I'm up on this topic as my grandfather is going through it. I can find out more if you need.

"Oh, I do socialize with everyone in my school, and everyone sees me as their friend...school friend...and that is all."

Uh huh... your public face. Not the real you at all.

"I don't go out. I stay home."

Where you are alone, yet secure, yet not.

"Everyone seems me as a strong, tough, very determined, and very successful. They think I can take on anything and do everything. And Iworry if they knew the truth, I would break."

Yep and inside you are a gentle caring soul that feels everyones pain and often feels responsible for their pain and suffereing? Have you ever had an eating disorder? Hon you sound just like me. Your heart longs to be nurtured and loved. I have been here (what am I saying! - I fall into this often).

"I find myself loosing strength to fight my depression more days thenI use to be able to fight."

Why is this hon?

"Since I have been in this group, I have read most of your emails, and I realize that my health problems are not as serious as yours."

Rubbish! There will always be someone better or worse off then you. You can only feel as you do. There is no need to bring guilt into it. You dont need to feel bad or guilty if you think that others problems are worse. Hell I complain everyday and there are people far worse off then me. But I cannot help them. I only know how I feel. We dont want to feel as we do but often we are not in control of that. Leigh hon, feel as you do and be not ashamed! Depression and chronic pain are as debilitating as any other illness. Emotionally much more so.

"Thanks for showing your strength and love to me. You give me hope."

And thank you for sharing your life with us. There are people on this list who prefer not to write, or dont always write. That does not mean that they dont care or that something you have said has not struck a chord with them. You are helping us all too you know. Just by being yourself and sharing. I also feel that you are a loving and gentle soul in need of lots of love and nuturing also. We love you hon. May never meet you in person, but your life has a big impact on us. Be yourself. There is no need for you to be anything other then who you are, for who you are is perfect already.

*HUGS*With love,

Aisha.

April 13, 2000

When I was four, I came very close to being aducted.

I was able to get away from them. The police told me

who they were and that scared me more. They were two

people that have been stealing children and selling

them out of state or even out of the country. I was

the only child that has been able to escape them. I

became afraid of everyone...even my own grandparetns

and father.

In kidnergarden, everyday, I had to have a nurse in

class with me even.

I think a good talk...one of those several hour

talks...and a lot of crying may help my depression.

But I know that I should be on medication for it as

well.

When I started to trust and actually have friends in

8th grade year, I was sexually abused by two male

friends that I had trusted at school. Once again, my

trust was gone.

My doctor has never told me anything about there being

a way to fix the bones. They just keep on telling me

that I am to young. The surgeries that I had, was

only to try to kill nerves so I wouldn't feel the

pain. The surgerys helped only a little bit. I have

tried over the counter arthritis meds. but they do

not work.

I know that I have an eating problem. If it is a

disorder, I dont' know. When my depression gets

worse, my belly grows bigger. I don't know if it is a

disorder since it is when my depression gets worse.

This past year, I have been feeling more lonely and

more helpless. For me, feeling helpless is like

getting shot. Helplessness is my enemy and I am

starting to feel it. A lot of preasure has been put

on me. Most of it havint to do if I am strong enough

for the future that I plan. A lot of health issues in

my family suddenly happend in March. 1. sister had

baby 2. close uncle had emergency heart surgery 2.

close aunt had an emergency surgery 3. aunt's cancer

is getting worse 4. found out my grandfather has

cancer and he had to have surgery 5. uncle went into

hospital 6. friend started doing HARD drugs 7. my

father started coming down with the same pains that my

uncle did that lead into open heart surgery. testing

has been done on my father 8. my depression and back

9. my stomach pains have come back and starting on

Monday I'll be getting testing done

All of this is why I say, " " I find myself loosing

strength to fight my

> depression more days then

> I use to be able to fight. "

I think that answered all of your questions. Feel

free to ask if you have more.

Thank you for caring. For once in my life, I have

people I can go to when I need them. Thank you.

Love,

Leigh

--- Aisha Elderwyn <aisha@...> wrote:

> Dearest Leigh,

>

> I want to hug you and tell you that you are not

> alone. And that anytime you need to write and vent

> you do so! It does not matter what you say - you

> write what's in your heart. We do not judge you

> sweet one. You feel as you do and you have every

> right to feel as you do! So F**K anyone who says

> otherwise!

>

> Jack... who is here somewhere... would call you a

> viking! Us vikings fight and fight and stick

> together! So wear your horn helmet with pride my

> fellow viking!

>

> " Since I was four years old, I have been living my

> life with fear and hurt.

>

> Ok... I'm jumping in. What the hell happened at 4

> to cause this? Did someone abuse you hon?

>

> " Never have I received proper care for my

> depression. "

>

> What do you believe that you need to help you get

> out of your depression? I ask, as so many of us get

> depressed - I'd say that at least 50% of us on this

> list suffer from some form of depression. What care

> would help you sweet one?

>

> " I was just starting to actually enjoy life and

> live it. At the end of my 8th grade year, I

> suffered from another tragicy, again. My whole

> freshman year, I hide from the world and my family.

> I even tried to take my life a few times. "

>

> Oh Leigh *HUG* What happened?? I am so glad that

> you are still with us. Sheesh... your doctor story

> sounds so familiar... hang in there babe... there

> are good doctors amongst the pratts and egos!

>

> " I was so trilled to find this out. Isn't that

> strange? Being thrilled to find

> out that you have a problem. "

>

> No stranger then me crying my eyes out when I

> didnt have a brain tumor!! I think it is a relief to

> know what is going on with your body - it helps you

> to understand how you feel, and gives you the

> knowledge to then tackle any problems that you need

> to like medications, surgeries and other life

> decisions.

>

> " The arthritis will get worse, like it usually

> does. I have never received

> any arthritis med. "

>

> Well hon, to quote my doctor " this is not

> acceptable "

>

> There are brand new medications for arthritis, and

> they can do surgeries that re-coat the bones so they

> do not rub and cause pain! I'm up on this topic as

> my grandfather is going through it. I can find out

> more if you need.

>

> " Oh, I do socialize with everyone in my school,

> and everyone sees me as their friend...school

> friend...and that is all. "

>

> Uh huh... your public face. Not the real you at

> all.

>

> " I don't go out. I stay home. "

>

> Where you are alone, yet secure, yet not.

>

> " Everyone seems me as a strong, tough, very

> determined, and very successful. They think I can

> take on anything and do everything. And I

> worry if they knew the truth, I would break. "

>

> Yep and inside you are a gentle caring soul that

> feels everyones pain and often feels responsible for

> their pain and suffereing? Have you ever had an

> eating disorder? Hon you sound just like me. Your

> heart longs to be nurtured and loved. I have been

> here (what am I saying! - I fall into this often).

>

> " I find myself loosing strength to fight my

> depression more days then

> I use to be able to fight. "

>

> Why is this hon?

>

> " Since I have been in this group, I have read most

> of your emails, and I realize that my health

> problems are not as serious as yours. "

>

> Rubbish! There will always be someone better or

> worse off then you. You can only feel as you do.

> There is no need to bring guilt into it. You dont

> need to feel bad or guilty if you think that others

> problems are worse. Hell I complain everyday and

> there are people far worse off then me. But I cannot

> help them. I only know how I feel. We dont want to

> feel as we do but often we are not in control of

> that. Leigh hon, feel as you do and be not ashamed!

> Depression and chronic pain are as debilitating as

> any other illness. Emotionally much more so.

>

> " Thanks for showing your strength and love to me.

> You give me hope. "

>

> And thank you for sharing your life with us. There

> are people on this list who prefer not to write, or

> dont always write. That does not mean that they dont

> care or that something you have said has not struck

> a chord with them. You are helping us all too you

> know. Just by being yourself and sharing. I also

> feel that you are a loving and gentle soul in need

> of lots of love and nuturing also. We love you hon.

> May never meet you in person, but your life has a

> big impact on us. Be yourself. There is no need for

> you to be anything other then who you are, for who

> you are is perfect already.

>

> *HUGS*

>

> With love,

> Aisha.

>

=====

:-) TLS :-)

__________________________________________________

April 13, 2000

Hello,

Thank you for being there for me. Being in this group

gives me the expression that for a few minutes, I can

be free. Thanks.

I was almost taken from a few ppl at 4. I was the

only child that was able to escape them. They stoled

children and sold them out of state and out of the

country.

People don't gossip about me anymore. They only did

last year, when I was with the guys. A male teacher

started most of the gossip. The gossip was that since

I was the only girl in the group, I must of been their

tramp. I can kind of see why ppl said that. They

guys are very protective of me. They acted as if they

got jealous easily. Still, it was the guys and my

business and no one elses. No one gossips about me

know. I even have been told that a few ppl are afraid

of me. I don't understand why. I am outspoken and

cocky, but I am very considerate and caring. I only

get outspoken and cocky when someone does something

really stupid.

I feel that I have to be strong to survive. If I'm

not strong, my depression will win. I'll be back as I

use to be, trying to take my life. I protect myself

from getting hurt and taking risk that may make me

weak.

I hope I answered your questions. You have anymore,

you may ask. Thank you for being there for me.

love,

leigh

--- healthyu2000 <healthyu2000@...> wrote:

> hi Leigh...hang in there things always get

> better..you seem like you are a strong person

> too...I read all the time ..if you like to read

> there are two books

> that i would suggest that you might be interested

> in.... " Something More " ..I'll look up the author if

> you re interested and " WithWngs There Are No

> Barriers "

> .....your letter also sounds like you are really

> frustrated... with your life..what do you dream of?

> what would your ideal life entail? Where would you

> live?

> Who would you be with? How would you spend your

> days? What do you desire?

> Depresion is a very hard thing to cope with..so is

> pain..that's too bad your brother is like that! that

> wouldnt be so great to go through his disbelief in

> your

> pain and suffering..

> How come you have lived with fear and hurt for so

> long? What was your life like then?..at age 4!!Do

> you feel that you look for approval from your

> brother?

> No..arthritis meds. ...do you follow any sort of

> supplementation and nutrition plan?

>

> > Re; only girl in the group of ten men...what

> happened that it all got ruined? and that you were

> threatened to be kicked out of my school.

>

> > This is all so sad....life shouldnt be so bad for

> you..17 yrs old...what a great age...how can you

> enjoy life again? i'm 40...and oh to be 17

> again...and know

> > what i know now!!

>

> > do you have any ideas of things /ways to pull you

> through this....have you ever tried St. 's

> wort..it's good for mild to moderate depression..ask

> me for

> > more info..befiore you buy any if you are

> interested because they are not all the same.ok.

>

> even certain foods can have reaction to how your

> brain functions Re:depression

>

> > Why do people gossip about you? does it really

> matter what they say....please yourself...!! Lots of

> times people gossip and they have no idea what they

> are

> > even talking about....usually they are the

> pathetic ones with nothing better to do than shoot

> others down to make themselves feel or look better.

> > A person can be a loner but it sucks to be

> lonely..are you lonely?

> > do you have a boyfriend? why don't you go out.?

>

> Why do you feel that you have to stay so strong?

> What are you protecting yourself from?

> Why do you not show your weaknesses to others...very

> fe friends see my weak side...

> .I'm a strong person..I grew into being one....I was

> ugly and a 4 eyed skinny girl all my life....But

> I've grown into a person that I love to be...it

> takes work

> and effort...mainly by self improvement books and

> learning to be assertive...and look out for me

> too....and doing what makes ME happy...that's what

> you may come

> to realize ...look out for you..do what pleases

> you.....what would make you happy?.

>

> > Re;worry if they knew the truth, I would

> break......i sometimes think that too..people see me

> as being so strong..we all have our weak

> moments...no one is

> > perfectly strong all the time..when my baby was

> born with spina bifida..I fell apart...If I didnt

> have my boyfriend in my life...I don't know how i

> would

> > have pulled through......best thing is to be

> yourself..dont worry about what others think....find

> a good friend, to laugh with,, cry with and have

> her/him to

> > be there for you...if no one is there...lean on

> all of us here..we are your friends too...

>

> > Re; My principal believes in me so much that

> > she talked to me about goign to college......Do

> you fel that you don't believe in yourself and your

> capabilities? are you overworked at this present

> date?

> > feeling overwhelmed? Can you lighten your load at

> all?

>

> Depression usually is a result of suppressed anger

> or grief...Do you feel that either could be part of

> your struggles? Did you have burdens placed on you

> at a

> young age?

> Re:must continue to fight. Fight tilldeath....good

> plan but not to death...to happiness!!!.

> Leigh..always have hope..it may not be a way out but

> it's always a way through!!feel free to email me

> privately or thru the list anytime..ok

> Sheena

>

__________________________________________________

April 13, 2000

Dear Leigh,

Oh my! Thank goodness you got away from the paedaphiles! That fear would be with you for life - have you had counselling for this?

"I think a good talk...one of those several hour talks...and a lot of crying may help my depression. But I know that I should be on medication for it aswell."

Is there no one you can talk to? And hon, have you tried any medications. Zoloft is a mild antidepressant, my husband takes it. Perhaps that would help you? It made a world of difference to him. If you feel you need some sort of medication then sweet one please talk to a dr about it. You know how you feel and your instincts are going to guide you to what is right for you - so please hon, talk to a dr about getting some help here ok??

"When I started to trust and actually have friends in 8th grade year, I was sexually abused by two male friends that I had trusted at school. Once again, my trust was gone."

Shit. My dear it is no wonder you are depressed and so guarded! Have you had any sort of counselling for these traumas?

"My doctor has never told me anything about there being a way to fix the bones. They just keep on telling me that I am to young."

Well darling you need a new doctor! Age has nothing to do with pain. There are some EXCELLENT medications out for arthritic pain... I shall make that my mission and try to find some info for you.

"The surgeries that I had, was only to try to kill nerves so I wouldn't feel thepain."

Eek... not good surgery - when they mess with nerves... yuck.

"I know that I have an eating problem. If it is a disorder, I dont' know. When my depression gets worse, my belly grows bigger. I don't know if it is adisorder since it is when my depression gets worse."

Yes - this is an eating disorder. I highly recommend you get a copy of "The Secret Language of Eating Disorders" by Peggy Claude-Pierre. Not only is it easy to read, but there is alot of information on the emotional states that cause these problems, you may find that helpful?? Or... check out www.somethingfishy.org

"This past year, I have been feeling more lonely and more helpless."

Why helpless hon?

I hope that your tests go well on Monday so you can fix your tummy problems. Have you looked into Chron's syndrome?

"Thank you for caring. For once in my life, I have people I can go to when I need them. Thank you."

I am glad you have found us and that we are able to support you when you need us. We care and you never need thank us!

Hang in there... I'll see what I can find out regarding arthritis medications ok.

Love Aisha.

April 16, 2000

Hi all,

I must add here that Dr Hoofnagle is a pioneer on treatment of Hepatitis

and we must value his judgement. However , the results of various

studies are not really applicable to one and all. It has been proven now

that the longer you take treatment for Hep C the more likely are you to

remain in remission .Thus irrespective of genotype treatment is

certainly to be continued for a year unless you are getting serious side

effects or have minmal damage on liver biopsy which has reversed.

Rememeber the virus develops new quasispecies real fast the moment you

discontinue treatment.

April 16, 2000