Re: I've been lurking

[Guest guest]

Hey Betty,

I don't know what it means. I'm no Doc. I'm glad tho that you got those things

looked at. Your doc will tell you what is what I'm sure

I know after treatment, my body went crazy. I went undetected early on treatment

and stayed undetected thru it and then at the 6th mo post pcr, was higher than

I'd ever been. During treatment tho, my ALT/AST went bananas, but returned to

normal when I completed and stopped treatment. And, my body went into some kind

of rebellion mode. I had hives for 2 years, skin cancer, bad fibromaylgia

symptoms and chronic fatigue. It's 3 years since stopping the cancer treatment

(4 for hcv treatment) and I'm just starting to feel " OK " . Altho my pcr is still

skyhigh, my other labs are all good.

It may take a while for your body to adjust after finishing treatment. Just try

to go with it and think long term. I know it's hard. You're body is thinking " oh

crap, what did you do to me? " Let it relax and find it's center again. In the

meantime, you follow your doc's advice and do the things you should be doing

like eating right and resting properly. Don't expect results in a day or a week

or a month, maybe a few months, maybe a year. We didn't get in this " condition "

in one day and we won't be able to flush the treatment from our body nor

recouperate overnight either.

My pcr is still sky high and I'm still in this chronic fatigue and ache phase,

esp in cold weather or when stressed, so I try to chill out, and not worry about

it too much. I've seen my gastro, all seems well there, and I keep in touch with

my primary with periodic labs.

I wish we could just turn our body on or off or to some mode like " be normal "

but we can't. Try to be patient while your body adjusts to 'no treatment' and

listen to your doc

Alley

www.alleypat.com

[Guest guest]

Hey Betty,

I don't know what it means. I'm no Doc. I'm glad tho that you got those things

looked at. Your doc will tell you what is what I'm sure

I know after treatment, my body went crazy. I went undetected early on treatment

and stayed undetected thru it and then at the 6th mo post pcr, was higher than

I'd ever been. During treatment tho, my ALT/AST went bananas, but returned to

normal when I completed and stopped treatment. And, my body went into some kind

of rebellion mode. I had hives for 2 years, skin cancer, bad fibromaylgia

symptoms and chronic fatigue. It's 3 years since stopping the cancer treatment

(4 for hcv treatment) and I'm just starting to feel " OK " . Altho my pcr is still

skyhigh, my other labs are all good.

It may take a while for your body to adjust after finishing treatment. Just try

to go with it and think long term. I know it's hard. You're body is thinking " oh

crap, what did you do to me? " Let it relax and find it's center again. In the

meantime, you follow your doc's advice and do the things you should be doing

like eating right and resting properly. Don't expect results in a day or a week

or a month, maybe a few months, maybe a year. We didn't get in this " condition "

in one day and we won't be able to flush the treatment from our body nor

recouperate overnight either.

My pcr is still sky high and I'm still in this chronic fatigue and ache phase,

esp in cold weather or when stressed, so I try to chill out, and not worry about

it too much. I've seen my gastro, all seems well there, and I keep in touch with

my primary with periodic labs.

I wish we could just turn our body on or off or to some mode like " be normal "

but we can't. Try to be patient while your body adjusts to 'no treatment' and

listen to your doc

Alley

www.alleypat.com

[Guest guest]

Good morning Alley,

Thanks for the advice, I had completely forgotten about the body needing a

long time to recoop...darn brain fog, especially with the Fibro and everything

else I've got that's wrong with me.

I always try to follow the guidelines my docs give me, and I've got some good

ones too, as I respect them and like them.

Have a great day!

Betty

[Guest guest]

Good morning Alley,

Thanks for the advice, I had completely forgotten about the body needing a

long time to recoop...darn brain fog, especially with the Fibro and everything

else I've got that's wrong with me.

I always try to follow the guidelines my docs give me, and I've got some good

ones too, as I respect them and like them.

Have a great day!

Betty

[Guest guest]

Dear Betty,

My advice pretty much follows Alley's. I will also add that, while my lab

values improved in spite of being taken off treatment due to hemolytic anemia,

it has taken 5 years for me to get labs to the values that docs were willing

to put me back on treatment again.

This is a slow process, even if you're " cured " . The stress of treatment on

your body will take some time to get over. Just be cool, eat right, get lots

of rest, drink lots of fluids and pretend you've had a 15 year bought with

the flu. Give yourself at least one full year to get the drugs out of your

system. Even now, I have some problems, which is why I take copious notes and

then lose the notes :-)))))))).

Anne

[Guest guest]

Dear Betty,

My advice pretty much follows Alley's. I will also add that, while my lab

values improved in spite of being taken off treatment due to hemolytic anemia,

it has taken 5 years for me to get labs to the values that docs were willing

to put me back on treatment again.

This is a slow process, even if you're " cured " . The stress of treatment on

your body will take some time to get over. Just be cool, eat right, get lots

of rest, drink lots of fluids and pretend you've had a 15 year bought with

the flu. Give yourself at least one full year to get the drugs out of your

system. Even now, I have some problems, which is why I take copious notes and

then lose the notes :-)))))))).

Anne

[Guest guest]

Hi Alley.You suffered from fibromaylgia.I hve a neighbour,woman 38,I like

her dearly and she is suffering from that disease.She said it.s chronic and

she has to live with it.At times she is lying days in bed because all her

muscles are hurting.She said there.s no cure.Can you pls advise her how she

can make it more bearable and mabye y know of a cure.I heard that in the US

they use bea-stings.??.Here some medics don.t even admit that she has

fybromaylgia.But she has.Thank very much.Love,Willem.

Re: I've been lurking

>

> Hey Betty,

>

> I don't know what it means. I'm no Doc. I'm glad tho that you got those

> things looked at. Your doc will tell you what is what I'm sure

>

> I know after treatment, my body went crazy. I went undetected early on

> treatment and stayed undetected thru it and then at the 6th mo post pcr,

> was higher than I'd ever been. During treatment tho, my ALT/AST went

> bananas, but returned to normal when I completed and stopped treatment.

> And, my body went into some kind of rebellion mode. I had hives for 2

> years, skin cancer, bad fibromaylgia symptoms and chronic fatigue. It's 3

> years since stopping the cancer treatment (4 for hcv treatment) and I'm

> just starting to feel " OK " . Altho my pcr is still skyhigh, my other labs

> are all good.

>

> It may take a while for your body to adjust after finishing treatment.

> Just try to go with it and think long term. I know it's hard. You're body

> is thinking " oh crap, what did you do to me? " Let it relax and find

> it's center again. In the meantime, you follow your doc's advice and do

> the things you should be doing like eating right and resting properly.

> Don't expect results in a day or a week or a month, maybe a few months,

> maybe a year. We didn't get in this " condition " in one day and we won't be

> able to flush the treatment from our body nor recouperate overnight

> either.

>

> My pcr is still sky high and I'm still in this chronic fatigue and ache

> phase, esp in cold weather or when stressed, so I try to chill out, and

> not worry about it too much. I've seen my gastro, all seems well there,

> and I keep in touch with my primary with periodic labs.

>

> I wish we could just turn our body on or off or to some mode like " be

> normal " but we can't. Try to be patient while your body adjusts to 'no

> treatment' and listen to your doc

>

> Alley

> www.alleypat.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Alley.You suffered from fibromaylgia.I hve a neighbour,woman 38,I like

her dearly and she is suffering from that disease.She said it.s chronic and

she has to live with it.At times she is lying days in bed because all her

muscles are hurting.She said there.s no cure.Can you pls advise her how she

can make it more bearable and mabye y know of a cure.I heard that in the US

they use bea-stings.??.Here some medics don.t even admit that she has

fybromaylgia.But she has.Thank very much.Love,Willem.

Re: I've been lurking

>

> Hey Betty,

>

> I don't know what it means. I'm no Doc. I'm glad tho that you got those

> things looked at. Your doc will tell you what is what I'm sure

>

> I know after treatment, my body went crazy. I went undetected early on

> treatment and stayed undetected thru it and then at the 6th mo post pcr,

> was higher than I'd ever been. During treatment tho, my ALT/AST went

> bananas, but returned to normal when I completed and stopped treatment.

> And, my body went into some kind of rebellion mode. I had hives for 2

> years, skin cancer, bad fibromaylgia symptoms and chronic fatigue. It's 3

> years since stopping the cancer treatment (4 for hcv treatment) and I'm

> just starting to feel " OK " . Altho my pcr is still skyhigh, my other labs

> are all good.

>

> It may take a while for your body to adjust after finishing treatment.

> Just try to go with it and think long term. I know it's hard. You're body

> is thinking " oh crap, what did you do to me? " Let it relax and find

> it's center again. In the meantime, you follow your doc's advice and do

> the things you should be doing like eating right and resting properly.

> Don't expect results in a day or a week or a month, maybe a few months,

> maybe a year. We didn't get in this " condition " in one day and we won't be

> able to flush the treatment from our body nor recouperate overnight

> either.

>

> My pcr is still sky high and I'm still in this chronic fatigue and ache

> phase, esp in cold weather or when stressed, so I try to chill out, and

> not worry about it too much. I've seen my gastro, all seems well there,

> and I keep in touch with my primary with periodic labs.

>

> I wish we could just turn our body on or off or to some mode like " be

> normal " but we can't. Try to be patient while your body adjusts to 'no

> treatment' and listen to your doc

>

> Alley

> www.alleypat.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

Fibro can be a catch-all term for any set of symptoms that act like it. For

many, there are specific pain points and symptoms, but there's nothing written

in stone. It can vary from person to person. A lot of hep C people have fibro

symptoms, and one could argue whether it's " really " fibro or just a phrase used

to term the side effects of HCV or some other unknown culprit.

Regardless, fibro hurts like hell. I'm sorry your neighbor is having such a

problem. Some people have luck with special diets. I feel better when I do

fewer carbs and drink a lot of water, that sort of thing. That doesn't cure it,

but makes me feel better overall. I haven't been kept to the bed with it, but

there's days I sure wanna stay in bed, especially when it's cold outside like

today. I ache all over. Even lying in bed hurts.

One thing I do is try to find out what triggers a fibro flare (what we call it

when we feel bad suddenly, for no explainable reason). Keeping a diary for

several months or even longer will help with that. It's a nuisance, writing down

how one feels at different times of the day and what one eats and does, but

sometimes that's the only way to see any long term relationships we'd otherwise

overlook. Then again, there may be no relationship, but usually, most fibro

sufferers find that there are some " triggers " and knowing these and avoiding

them, or at least being aware of them, is one step closer to relief.

Depression is a big component of fibro, like it is with any chronic problem,

even Hep C. Our bodies get worn out from fighting the problem, and our little

pea brains (well mine is a pea brain lol), is part of our body, whether we like

it or not , and it gets worn out too. Often, people with chronic conditions

are depressed and it's not the same causes as other depression, which may have

no identifiable phsyical cause (as long as you're not counting brain chemistry

other than that associated with a known chronic condition an identifiable cause,

because you know, I'm no scientist about what causes depression and other mental

illnesses). However, it may not be the same, but it can manifest itself in the

same outward result.

I see a psychiatrist who specializes in people with chronic conditions. I drive

40 miles across 3 towns to get to him (I live in Grand Prairie, drive through

Irving, past the Texas Stadium where the Cowboys play, and across Dallas .

But he's worth it. He explained a lot to me, but that was a few years ago.

Suffice it to say, all this stuff is on the web. Sometimes I have to go and

read the fibro webpages to remind myself that hey, it isn't in my head, I'm not

lazy, that it's OK to take the occasional pain pill so I can function.

Good sleep is also a problem with people with fibro (as it is with any chronic

condition). Her doctor may already be trying to work on the different areas to

relieve stress and good, regular sleep is one of the biggest factors in fibro.

The fibro disrupts whatever it is in the brain that allows for a good

rejuvenating sleep. The body needs an adequate amount of stage 4 sleep to

repair itself. When the body misses this stage for long enough, muscles burn,

the brain doesn't function properly, etc. In people with fibro, this is

absolutely essential. Even one night of bad rest can make several painful days

for a fibro sufferer.

I had to do sleeping pills for several years after doing treatment because it

had so screwed up my body's ability to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.

I still have my pills, but rarely use them anymore. I know when I am stressed or

don't get good sleep for a day or two, I have to take one for a night or two

until I can get back into a good sleep routine.

Excercise is another problem for people with fibro. We hurt, so we don't move

around enough usually. I'm still working on this as I am very lazy, but things

like Tai Chi, Yoga, and other stretching excercises are good. I like to sit on

the floor in front of the TV and just stretch my body while I watch.

I find my fibro is worst in winter, in cold weather. Even with socks on, my

feet will ache from the chill. I have to wear triple socks around the house,

and extra warm clothes as well as keep the house warmer than most people. I

keep heating pads handy and a heater under my desk so I don't go crawl back in

bed to stay warm.

Restless leg syndrome is another biggy for fibro and hep C. Some docs don't

understand it, but the symptoms can be alleviated somewhat. The symptoms can be

helped with medication, usually muscle relaxers, pain pills, that sort of thing.

There are studies here in Dallas at Southwestern Univ, where they also do Hep C

research, on RLS. I hope they find some good info. It will keep a person from

getting good sleep and make a fibro sufferer more painful.

No, there's no " cure " for fibro. We don't even know what causes it. My advice:

she needs to take her health into her own hands and figure out what makes her

worse and what makes her feel better and work from there. Even here, many

doctors don't " believe " in it, but it doesn't matter what they believe, it's

here and it hurts.

My computer is making funny noises, so that must mean to stop rambling and see

what's causing all this noise!

Hope that helps. I'll refer some links in a bit.

Alley

www.alleypat.com

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

Fibro can be a catch-all term for any set of symptoms that act like it. For

many, there are specific pain points and symptoms, but there's nothing written

in stone. It can vary from person to person. A lot of hep C people have fibro

symptoms, and one could argue whether it's " really " fibro or just a phrase used

to term the side effects of HCV or some other unknown culprit.

Regardless, fibro hurts like hell. I'm sorry your neighbor is having such a

problem. Some people have luck with special diets. I feel better when I do

fewer carbs and drink a lot of water, that sort of thing. That doesn't cure it,

but makes me feel better overall. I haven't been kept to the bed with it, but

there's days I sure wanna stay in bed, especially when it's cold outside like

today. I ache all over. Even lying in bed hurts.

One thing I do is try to find out what triggers a fibro flare (what we call it

when we feel bad suddenly, for no explainable reason). Keeping a diary for

several months or even longer will help with that. It's a nuisance, writing down

how one feels at different times of the day and what one eats and does, but

sometimes that's the only way to see any long term relationships we'd otherwise

overlook. Then again, there may be no relationship, but usually, most fibro

sufferers find that there are some " triggers " and knowing these and avoiding

them, or at least being aware of them, is one step closer to relief.

Depression is a big component of fibro, like it is with any chronic problem,

even Hep C. Our bodies get worn out from fighting the problem, and our little

pea brains (well mine is a pea brain lol), is part of our body, whether we like

it or not , and it gets worn out too. Often, people with chronic conditions

are depressed and it's not the same causes as other depression, which may have

no identifiable phsyical cause (as long as you're not counting brain chemistry

other than that associated with a known chronic condition an identifiable cause,

because you know, I'm no scientist about what causes depression and other mental

illnesses). However, it may not be the same, but it can manifest itself in the

same outward result.

I see a psychiatrist who specializes in people with chronic conditions. I drive

40 miles across 3 towns to get to him (I live in Grand Prairie, drive through

Irving, past the Texas Stadium where the Cowboys play, and across Dallas .

But he's worth it. He explained a lot to me, but that was a few years ago.

Suffice it to say, all this stuff is on the web. Sometimes I have to go and

read the fibro webpages to remind myself that hey, it isn't in my head, I'm not

lazy, that it's OK to take the occasional pain pill so I can function.

Good sleep is also a problem with people with fibro (as it is with any chronic

condition). Her doctor may already be trying to work on the different areas to

relieve stress and good, regular sleep is one of the biggest factors in fibro.

The fibro disrupts whatever it is in the brain that allows for a good

rejuvenating sleep. The body needs an adequate amount of stage 4 sleep to

repair itself. When the body misses this stage for long enough, muscles burn,

the brain doesn't function properly, etc. In people with fibro, this is

absolutely essential. Even one night of bad rest can make several painful days

for a fibro sufferer.

I had to do sleeping pills for several years after doing treatment because it

had so screwed up my body's ability to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.

I still have my pills, but rarely use them anymore. I know when I am stressed or

don't get good sleep for a day or two, I have to take one for a night or two

until I can get back into a good sleep routine.

Excercise is another problem for people with fibro. We hurt, so we don't move

around enough usually. I'm still working on this as I am very lazy, but things

like Tai Chi, Yoga, and other stretching excercises are good. I like to sit on

the floor in front of the TV and just stretch my body while I watch.

I find my fibro is worst in winter, in cold weather. Even with socks on, my

feet will ache from the chill. I have to wear triple socks around the house,

and extra warm clothes as well as keep the house warmer than most people. I

keep heating pads handy and a heater under my desk so I don't go crawl back in

bed to stay warm.

Restless leg syndrome is another biggy for fibro and hep C. Some docs don't

understand it, but the symptoms can be alleviated somewhat. The symptoms can be

helped with medication, usually muscle relaxers, pain pills, that sort of thing.

There are studies here in Dallas at Southwestern Univ, where they also do Hep C

research, on RLS. I hope they find some good info. It will keep a person from

getting good sleep and make a fibro sufferer more painful.

No, there's no " cure " for fibro. We don't even know what causes it. My advice:

she needs to take her health into her own hands and figure out what makes her

worse and what makes her feel better and work from there. Even here, many

doctors don't " believe " in it, but it doesn't matter what they believe, it's

here and it hurts.

My computer is making funny noises, so that must mean to stop rambling and see

what's causing all this noise!

Hope that helps. I'll refer some links in a bit.

Alley

www.alleypat.com

[Guest guest]

Hi.Thanks a lot Alley!!.t.s so bad that she is now on welfare because they

don.t recognise this fibro thing as a disease otherwise she would get

sick-benefits.The only favour they granted her is that she does.nt has to

apply for work.We.re now looking for partime work,couple of days a week

because believe me even in Holland you cannot live a decent life on

welfare.Willem.

Re: I've been lurking

>

> Hey ,

>

> Fibro can be a catch-all term for any set of symptoms that act like it.

> For many, there are specific pain points and symptoms, but there's nothing

> written in stone. It can vary from person to person. A lot of hep C

> people have fibro symptoms, and one could argue whether it's " really "

> fibro or just a phrase used to term the side effects of HCV or some other

> unknown culprit.

>

> Regardless, fibro hurts like hell. I'm sorry your neighbor is having such

> a problem. Some people have luck with special diets. I feel better when

> I do fewer carbs and drink a lot of water, that sort of thing. That

> doesn't cure it, but makes me feel better overall. I haven't been kept to

> the bed with it, but there's days I sure wanna stay in bed, especially

> when it's cold outside like today. I ache all over. Even lying in bed

> hurts.

>

> One thing I do is try to find out what triggers a fibro flare (what we

> call it when we feel bad suddenly, for no explainable reason). Keeping a

> diary for several months or even longer will help with that. It's a

> nuisance, writing down how one feels at different times of the day and

> what one eats and does, but sometimes that's the only way to see any long

> term relationships we'd otherwise overlook. Then again, there may be no

> relationship, but usually, most fibro sufferers find that there are some

> " triggers " and knowing these and avoiding them, or at least being aware of

> them, is one step closer to relief.

>

> Depression is a big component of fibro, like it is with any chronic

> problem, even Hep C. Our bodies get worn out from fighting the problem,

> and our little pea brains (well mine is a pea brain lol), is part of our

> body, whether we like it or not , and it gets worn out too. Often,

> people with chronic conditions are depressed and it's not the same causes

> as other depression, which may have no identifiable phsyical cause (as

> long as you're not counting brain chemistry other than that associated

> with a known chronic condition an identifiable cause, because you know,

> I'm no scientist about what causes depression and other mental illnesses).

> However, it may not be the same, but it can manifest itself in the same

> outward result.

>

> I see a psychiatrist who specializes in people with chronic conditions. I

> drive 40 miles across 3 towns to get to him (I live in Grand Prairie,

> drive through Irving, past the Texas Stadium where the Cowboys play, and

> across Dallas . But he's worth it. He explained a lot to me, but that

> was a few years ago. Suffice it to say, all this stuff is on the web.

> Sometimes I have to go and read the fibro webpages to remind myself that

> hey, it isn't in my head, I'm not lazy, that it's OK to take the

> occasional pain pill so I can function.

>

> Good sleep is also a problem with people with fibro (as it is with any

> chronic condition). Her doctor may already be trying to work on the

> different areas to relieve stress and good, regular sleep is one of the

> biggest factors in fibro. The fibro disrupts whatever it is in the brain

> that allows for a good rejuvenating sleep. The body needs an adequate

> amount of stage 4 sleep to repair itself. When the body misses this stage

> for long enough, muscles burn, the brain doesn't function properly, etc.

> In people with fibro, this is absolutely essential. Even one night of bad

> rest can make several painful days for a fibro sufferer.

>

> I had to do sleeping pills for several years after doing treatment because

> it had so screwed up my body's ability to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at

> a time. I still have my pills, but rarely use them anymore. I know when I

> am stressed or don't get good sleep for a day or two, I have to take one

> for a night or two until I can get back into a good sleep routine.

>

> Excercise is another problem for people with fibro. We hurt, so we don't

> move around enough usually. I'm still working on this as I am very lazy,

> but things like Tai Chi, Yoga, and other stretching excercises are good. I

> like to sit on the floor in front of the TV and just stretch my body while

> I watch.

>

> I find my fibro is worst in winter, in cold weather. Even with socks on,

> my feet will ache from the chill. I have to wear triple socks around the

> house, and extra warm clothes as well as keep the house warmer than most

> people. I keep heating pads handy and a heater under my desk so I don't

> go crawl back in bed to stay warm.

>

> Restless leg syndrome is another biggy for fibro and hep C. Some docs

> don't understand it, but the symptoms can be alleviated somewhat. The

> symptoms can be helped with medication, usually muscle relaxers, pain

> pills, that sort of thing. There are studies here in Dallas at

> Southwestern Univ, where they also do Hep C research, on RLS. I hope they

> find some good info. It will keep a person from getting good sleep and

> make a fibro sufferer more painful.

>

> No, there's no " cure " for fibro. We don't even know what causes it. My

> advice: she needs to take her health into her own hands and figure out

> what makes her worse and what makes her feel better and work from there.

> Even here, many doctors don't " believe " in it, but it doesn't matter what

> they believe, it's here and it hurts.

>

> My computer is making funny noises, so that must mean to stop rambling and

> see what's causing all this noise!

>

> Hope that helps. I'll refer some links in a bit.

>

> Alley

> www.alleypat.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi.Thanks a lot Alley!!.t.s so bad that she is now on welfare because they

don.t recognise this fibro thing as a disease otherwise she would get

sick-benefits.The only favour they granted her is that she does.nt has to

apply for work.We.re now looking for partime work,couple of days a week

because believe me even in Holland you cannot live a decent life on

welfare.Willem.

Re: I've been lurking

>

> Hey ,

>

> Fibro can be a catch-all term for any set of symptoms that act like it.

> For many, there are specific pain points and symptoms, but there's nothing

> written in stone. It can vary from person to person. A lot of hep C

> people have fibro symptoms, and one could argue whether it's " really "

> fibro or just a phrase used to term the side effects of HCV or some other

> unknown culprit.

>

> Regardless, fibro hurts like hell. I'm sorry your neighbor is having such

> a problem. Some people have luck with special diets. I feel better when

> I do fewer carbs and drink a lot of water, that sort of thing. That

> doesn't cure it, but makes me feel better overall. I haven't been kept to

> the bed with it, but there's days I sure wanna stay in bed, especially

> when it's cold outside like today. I ache all over. Even lying in bed

> hurts.

>

> One thing I do is try to find out what triggers a fibro flare (what we

> call it when we feel bad suddenly, for no explainable reason). Keeping a

> diary for several months or even longer will help with that. It's a

> nuisance, writing down how one feels at different times of the day and

> what one eats and does, but sometimes that's the only way to see any long

> term relationships we'd otherwise overlook. Then again, there may be no

> relationship, but usually, most fibro sufferers find that there are some

> " triggers " and knowing these and avoiding them, or at least being aware of

> them, is one step closer to relief.

>

> Depression is a big component of fibro, like it is with any chronic

> problem, even Hep C. Our bodies get worn out from fighting the problem,

> and our little pea brains (well mine is a pea brain lol), is part of our

> body, whether we like it or not , and it gets worn out too. Often,

> people with chronic conditions are depressed and it's not the same causes

> as other depression, which may have no identifiable phsyical cause (as

> long as you're not counting brain chemistry other than that associated

> with a known chronic condition an identifiable cause, because you know,

> I'm no scientist about what causes depression and other mental illnesses).

> However, it may not be the same, but it can manifest itself in the same

> outward result.

>

> I see a psychiatrist who specializes in people with chronic conditions. I

> drive 40 miles across 3 towns to get to him (I live in Grand Prairie,

> drive through Irving, past the Texas Stadium where the Cowboys play, and

> across Dallas . But he's worth it. He explained a lot to me, but that

> was a few years ago. Suffice it to say, all this stuff is on the web.

> Sometimes I have to go and read the fibro webpages to remind myself that

> hey, it isn't in my head, I'm not lazy, that it's OK to take the

> occasional pain pill so I can function.

>

> Good sleep is also a problem with people with fibro (as it is with any

> chronic condition). Her doctor may already be trying to work on the

> different areas to relieve stress and good, regular sleep is one of the

> biggest factors in fibro. The fibro disrupts whatever it is in the brain

> that allows for a good rejuvenating sleep. The body needs an adequate

> amount of stage 4 sleep to repair itself. When the body misses this stage

> for long enough, muscles burn, the brain doesn't function properly, etc.

> In people with fibro, this is absolutely essential. Even one night of bad

> rest can make several painful days for a fibro sufferer.

>

> I had to do sleeping pills for several years after doing treatment because

> it had so screwed up my body's ability to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at

> a time. I still have my pills, but rarely use them anymore. I know when I

> am stressed or don't get good sleep for a day or two, I have to take one

> for a night or two until I can get back into a good sleep routine.

>

> Excercise is another problem for people with fibro. We hurt, so we don't

> move around enough usually. I'm still working on this as I am very lazy,

> but things like Tai Chi, Yoga, and other stretching excercises are good. I

> like to sit on the floor in front of the TV and just stretch my body while

> I watch.

>

> I find my fibro is worst in winter, in cold weather. Even with socks on,

> my feet will ache from the chill. I have to wear triple socks around the

> house, and extra warm clothes as well as keep the house warmer than most

> people. I keep heating pads handy and a heater under my desk so I don't

> go crawl back in bed to stay warm.

>

> Restless leg syndrome is another biggy for fibro and hep C. Some docs

> don't understand it, but the symptoms can be alleviated somewhat. The

> symptoms can be helped with medication, usually muscle relaxers, pain

> pills, that sort of thing. There are studies here in Dallas at

> Southwestern Univ, where they also do Hep C research, on RLS. I hope they

> find some good info. It will keep a person from getting good sleep and

> make a fibro sufferer more painful.

>

> No, there's no " cure " for fibro. We don't even know what causes it. My

> advice: she needs to take her health into her own hands and figure out

> what makes her worse and what makes her feel better and work from there.

> Even here, many doctors don't " believe " in it, but it doesn't matter what

> they believe, it's here and it hurts.

>

> My computer is making funny noises, so that must mean to stop rambling and

> see what's causing all this noise!

>

> Hope that helps. I'll refer some links in a bit.

>

> Alley

> www.alleypat.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much for the encouraging letter. I know I need to be more active... a lot more active. I sometimes think that I use my disability as a crutch. I can do a bit of walking. If it is rainy then maybe I should go walk around a department store for a bit. That would work, right?

Thanks again,

From: pmleehere

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 10:14 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: I've been lurking

Hi ,Your post brought tears to my eyes. The first part about how you grew up could have been written by me. You have been through some medical and emotional nightmares and I commend you for your determination.I have some of that loose skin that is so unsightly. I hate it. I also know I cannot have it surgically removed without a high cost to me as it would be "cosmetic" surgery. It would also be PAINFUL! At times when I look at myself in the mirror, I think "Hell, I should just gain the weight back, because then my skin would fit. My self image would fit, too, since I see myself still as morbidly obese." That is my current battle with myself.My rock bottom was not yet being 40 years old and being diagnosed with diabetes. I was on medication for many things. My goal was to get off medication. I met that goal... I still was not at the "normal weight" according to the BMI scale, so I continued to try to diet. That didn't work. I just keep gaining weight. I need to refocus and get back on track.For me, the last 4 days have been good. I feel good. I have eaten healthier. I have gotten exercise. I just have to keep in mind how I feel and think of it when the binge monster comes a knockin'To get started... Make ONE small change. Find success with that and build on it, once you feel comfortable with that change. How I did it the first time was I didn't really change my eating habits at first. I started exercising. I was only able to walk about .4 of a mile before being in extreme pain in my back. So I did .4 of a mile every day until the pain was no longer extreme... Then, I upped it to a bit longer... I noticed as I was concentrating on the exercise, I actually was eating less also. (I think I wanted my exercise to count more, so subconsciously my eating habits changed a bit.)Build on your successes. If you mess up, forgive yourself and move forward.

apmleehere

From: LKinda Ervin <ladyem54hotmail>100-plus Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 7:43:39 PMSubject: I've been lurking

I first went to this site a couple of weeks ago. I've been reading most of the posts but have to admit I deleted several as well.

I've had a weight problem all of my life. Even as a child I was put on diets. It was very damaging to my self esteem and image. It was pretty tough watching my sisters, brother and cousins chow down on a bag about the size of our garbage bags filled with popcorn. I was given some little hard kind of jelly candy that were for dieters. They were like wine gums or something. I don't really remember what they were. I know I didn't like them and wanted the popcorn like everyone else. Why couldn't I be like them? Why did I have to be the fat one? I was pretty active and we all had the same food and the same amount. Why did it happen to me?

I grew up always being the fat kid. It made me tough. I was a fighter a real scrapper and very strong. I always had to fight because of the bullying I got.

I didn't have many boyfriends because they just weren't interested in me for me. They only wanted what their raging hormones were screaming for and when they didn't get what they want they moved on to someone else. I never met anyone who was just right for me.

I did eventually marry but to an older man.

But how did I get from being an 8 pound baby to a 400 pound woman? Fortunately for me, my husband still loved me even though I was so huge.

I had been on so many diets my entire life but I could never lose and keep it off of me. I would gain back twice as much because I would go back to my old habits which I couldn't seem to shake.

In 2003, I needed a hernia repair. I then weight 387 pounds. The first doctor refused outright and the second one said he would do it if I agreed to a gastric bypass. I was desperate. I agreed. The surgery nearly killed me. There was a very bad complication and I ended up in the Intensive Care Unit for seven months. It took over 17 months before I could go home again. They were so sure I would die just after the surgery. So sure they called my family in and my husband went to the funeral home to make arrangements. Well, there was a lot of prayer going on and I think that is what saved me. The pain was incredible so I was doped all the time. It would be like being in a comma as I hadn't a clue what had happened for about 3 months. Then there were some lose windows of time that I would remember. I had to have kidney dialysis because they had shut down but I didn't know about it. There is a lot more but I will move on with what has happened. I did lose weight. I got down to 188 pounds. I gained 6 pounds before being sent home. A lot has happened since then. There have been more surgeries and many more long hospital stays. Now I haven't been in the hospital for over 2 years and I have been free of daily nurse visits for over a year.

So what has happened? I have been gaining again. Now I am back up to 282 as of tonight. I feel like a lost cause. No amount of suffering seems to work for me.

What do I do? I know part of the problem was all that loose skin when I lost all that weight. 212 pounds leaves a lot of loose stuff. I hated the way I looked. Did I allow this to happen because of that? What is wrong with my head?

Can someone tell me how to get started so that this group will help me get on track?

I need help.

Ervin

- Bancroft, ON Canada

[Guest guest]

Hi ,I'm Daisy,nice to meet you.Your asking for help and I'd like to help you,but you don't say what you are currently doing,so I have to presume you haven't done anything yet.So,here's what I do. I do my best to eat a well-balance diet. I practice moderation and portion control and to help me do that I use a luncheon plate (or you can use a salad plate) for all my meals. I don't have seconds and I don't eat between meals,no snacks but that's just me.You can add between meal snacks,if,they are part of your over-all calorie count for the day-this does not mean cookies and cakes,they have to be healthful snacks: fruit,yogurt,nuts and berry's.There are some sweets you can have-in moderation and proper portions,sponge cake,fiber cookies,just

make sure to fit them in as part of your total calories for the day. To start off,you may need to measure out you food until you are able to eyeball it. And remember those fat-free or low-fat food and snacks are only fat free or low fat as long as you only eat the serving size it gives, so fat free or low fat ice cream or cookies,chips and cakes,are NOT low fat or fat free if you eat more than the recommended serving size.Eating a whole bag or box of whatever will still be more than you need and you can-and will,gain weight eating them.Make sure you eat something with fiber at every meal,as this will be what will help fill you up and be slow to digest and keep you from feeling too hungry before your next meal.Even your snacks should be as filling.For exercise,I recommend starting gently,no weights,no bouncing or jumping around,until you feel up to it.Do Calisthenic-you use your own body weight to perform the exercises,walk-there's a great video on you tube called Walk Away The Pounds-it's an in home walking program.If you feel strong enough,you can do some light weight lifting-I do a Joyce Vedral workout called Fat Burning Workout,I started out with a 1lb and 5lb weights cause that's all I had,I bought a 2 and 3lb weights and used those for a while and now I use a 3,5,and 8lb weights.They have some great exercise video on the net and a there is the FIT TV channels on tv-I have dish so I don't if it's available to everyone. I do know though, they have a website and have exercise videos there.If you don't like formal exercises,learn to dance,any type of dancing and then dance for at least 30 minutes a day or work your way up 30 and

more,learn to belly dance,take up hula dancing or learn strip dancing!! It really doesn't matter what you do,just as long as you get moving and stay in motion that gets your muscles working and your blood pumping. If you like step aerobics then go for it,just stick with it.Don't give up and don't quit,even if you feel as if your aren't losing weight,you are at least getting fit.The more often you do something,the better you get at it and your body is no different. The very first time I tried the Gazelle glider,I couldn't stay on it for 5 minutes!! and that thing is the easiest and simplest thing in the world to use! You just stand there and swing your legs to and fro! and I barely managed 5 minutes! But I kept at it,even when I fell back,down to just 3 minutes at a time,I kept getting back on it for 3 minutes and then I was back up to 5 then 8 then 10 and I made it all the way to 60 minutes at a time,because I didn't quit,I just kept

doing what I could,going for as long as I possible could every time I stepped on it and eventually I was able to stay on it longer,even if it was just a minute more,that was a minute more than I done last time and I just kept going.This is the attitude you have to adopt,never give up!!!You have to commit to a lifestyle change. You can never go back to the way you used to be,cause quite honestly,that is how you got where you are now and if you go back you will end up back where you started.Don't think of this as a "diet" something you will get off of and go back to your normal eating habits cause,you can never go back.Think of it as changing your eating habits and sticking with it!I hope these tips and recommendations help put you on the right path or at least point you in the right direction.

:)Daisy

[Guest guest]

Thanks you so much Daisy for your letter.

You don't know what it means to me to have a wonderful group of people who will help me along.

As for exercise, I really don't get much. I have a disability and wear a foot brace. Jumping and skipping is out of the question for me. I tried line dancing but it was even difficult. I couldn't use my left leg the way it should have been used. The turning was awkward too. I did it for a year then stopped. I couldn't keep up. It was fun though *smile* Hubby and I go to dances often and we do a couple of slow ones together and then I tell him to ask someone else to dance. I am going to dance more with him. I do try to do some fast dances but I don't move my feet well as my balance is very poor. I do have fun though. I guess I will just have to push myself more. Also, I won't be going to Tim Horton's every day like we usually do. I'm going to stay home and put some music on so can dance. I'll put my dance shoes on and everything too.

I'm getting a little excited about it now *smile*.

Today, I have been careful with my food and I've used portion control. I've been weighing and measuring everything. I'm trying to be sure to have something from all four food groups and I make sure there is fiber. I know if I have a cup of oatmeal for breakfast with fruit and a tablespoon of peanut butter then I will be fine till lunch time.

Thanks again for the support and encouragement.

This group is so good for me.

Take care,

From: V Frazier

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 1:12 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: I've been lurking

Hi ,I'm Daisy,nice to meet you.Your asking for help and I'd like to help you,but you don't say what you are currently doing,so I have to presume you haven't done anything yet.So,here's what I do. I do my best to eat a well-balance diet. I practice moderation and portion control and to help me do that I use a luncheon plate (or you can use a salad plate) for all my meals. I don't have seconds and I don't eat between meals,no snacks but that's just me.You can add between meal snacks,if,they are part of your over-all calorie count for the day-this does not mean cookies and cakes,they have to be healthful snacks: fruit,yogurt,nuts and berry's.There are some sweets you can have-in moderation and proper portions,sponge cake,fiber cookies,just make sure to fit them in as part of your total calories for the day. To start off,you may need to measure out you food until you are able to eyeball it. And remember those fat-free or low-fat food and snacks are only fat free or low fat as long as you only eat the serving size it gives, so fat free or low fat ice cream or cookies,chips and cakes,are NOT low fat or fat free if you eat more than the recommended serving size.Eating a whole bag or box of whatever will still be more than you need and you can-and will,gain weight eating them.Make sure you eat something with fiber at every meal,as this will be what will help fill you up and be slow to digest and keep you from feeling too hungry before your next meal.Even your snacks should be as filling.For exercise,I recommend starting gently,no weights,no bouncing or jumping around,until you feel up to it.Do Calisthenic-you use your own body weight to perform the exercises,walk-there's a great video on you tube called Walk Away The Pounds-it's an in home walking program.If you feel strong enough,you can do some light weight lifting-I do a Joyce Vedral workout called Fat Burning Workout,I started out with a 1lb and 5lb weights cause that's all I had,I bought a 2 and 3lb weights and used those for a while and now I use a 3,5,and 8lb weights.They have some great exercise video on the net and a there is the FIT TV channels on tv-I have dish so I don't if it's available to everyone. I do know though, they have a website and have exercise videos there.If you don't like formal exercises,learn to dance,any type of dancing and then dance for at least 30 minutes a day or work your way up 30 and more,learn to belly dance,take up hula dancing or learn strip dancing!! It really doesn't matter what you do,just as long as you get moving and stay in motion that gets your muscles working and your blood pumping. If you like step aerobics then go for it,just stick with it.Don't give up and don't quit,even if you feel as if your aren't losing weight,you are at least getting fit.The more often you do something,the better you get at it and your body is no different. The very first time I tried the Gazelle glider,I couldn't stay on it for 5 minutes!! and that thing is the easiest and simplest thing in the world to use! You just stand there and swing your legs to and fro! and I barely managed 5 minutes! But I kept at it,even when I fell back,down to just 3 minutes at a time,I kept getting back on it for 3 minutes and then I was back up to 5 then 8 then 10 and I made it all the way to 60 minutes at a time,because I didn't quit,I just kept doing what I could,going for as long as I possible could every time I stepped on it and eventually I was able to stay on it longer,even if it was just a minute more,that was a minute more than I done last time and I just kept going.This is the attitude you have to adopt,never give up!!!You have to commit to a lifestyle change. You can never go back to the way you used to be,cause quite honestly,that is how you got where you are now and if you go back you will end up back where you started.Don't think of this as a "diet" something you will get off of and go back to your normal eating habits cause,you can never go back.Think of it as changing your eating habits and sticking with it!I hope these tips and recommendations help put you on the right path or at least point you in the right direction. :)Daisy

[Guest guest]

Yes. I started out walking just around my house, then I was able to walk around the block. Eventually I worked up to a mile on a manual treadmill. It took a long time to make it up to a mile. But I sure feel great having done so.

 

I work at Walmart and we have several people who come in every day just to walk laps around the store. They have water bottles. Usually they walk early in the morning, when less people are there. Its

ok with our store manager.

Jelayne

On Tue, Jul 13, 2010 at 9:21 AM, LKinda Ervin <ladyem54@...> wrote:

 

Thanks so much for the encouraging letter.  I know I need to be more active... a lot more active.  I sometimes think that I use my disability as a crutch.  I can do a bit of walking.  If it is rainy then maybe I should go walk around a department store for a bit.  That would work, right?

Thanks again,

From: pmleehere

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 10:14 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: I've been lurking

 

Hi ,Your post brought tears to my eyes.  The first part about how you grew up could have been written by me.  You have been through some medical and emotional nightmares and I commend you for your determination.

I have some of that loose skin that is so unsightly.  I hate it.  I also know I cannot have it surgically removed without a high cost to me as it would be " cosmetic " surgery.  It would also be PAINFUL!  At times when I look at myself in the mirror, I think " Hell, I should just gain the weight back, because then my skin would fit.  My self image would fit, too, since I see myself still as morbidly obese. "   That is my current battle with myself.

My rock bottom was not yet being 40 years old and being diagnosed with diabetes.  I was on medication for many things.  My goal was to get off medication.  I met that goal... I still was not at the " normal weight " according to the BMI scale, so I continued to try to diet.  That didn't work.  I just keep gaining weight.  I need to refocus and get back on track.

For me, the last 4 days have been good.  I feel good.  I have eaten healthier.  I have gotten exercise.  I just have to keep in mind how I feel and think of it when the binge monster comes a knockin'To get started... Make ONE small change.  Find success with that and build on it, once you feel comfortable with that change.  How I did it the first time was I didn't really change my eating habits at first.  I started exercising.  I was only able to walk about .4 of a mile before being in extreme pain in my back.  So I did .4 of a mile every day until the pain was no longer extreme... Then, I upped it to a bit longer... I noticed as I was concentrating on the exercise, I actually was eating less also.  (I think I wanted my exercise to count more, so subconsciously my eating habits changed a bit.)

Build on your successes.  If you mess up, forgive yourself and move forward.

 apmleehere@...

From: LKinda Ervin <ladyem54@...>100-plus

Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 7:43:39 PMSubject: I've been lurking 

I first went to this site a couple of weeks ago.  I've been reading most of the posts but have to admit I deleted several as well.

I've had a weight problem all of my life.  Even as a child I was put on diets.  It was very damaging to my self esteem and image.  It was pretty tough watching my sisters, brother and cousins chow down on a bag about the size of our garbage bags filled with popcorn.  I was given some little hard kind of jelly candy that were for dieters.  They were like wine gums or something.  I don't really remember what they were.  I know I didn't like them and wanted the popcorn like everyone else.  Why couldn't I be like them?  Why did I have to be the fat one?  I was pretty active and we all had the same food and the same amount.  Why did it happen to me?

I grew up always being the fat kid.  It made me tough.  I was a fighter a real scrapper and very strong.  I always had to fight because of the bullying I got.

I didn't have many boyfriends because they just weren't interested in me for me.  They only wanted what their raging hormones were screaming for and when they didn't get what they want they moved on to someone else.  I never met anyone who was just right for me.

I did eventually marry but to an older man. 

But how did I get from being an 8 pound baby to a 400 pound woman?  Fortunately for me, my husband still loved me even though I was so huge.

I had been on so many diets my entire life but I could never lose and keep it off of me.  I would gain back twice as much because I would go back to my old habits which I couldn't seem to shake.

In 2003, I needed a hernia repair.  I then weight 387 pounds.  The first doctor refused outright and the second one said he would do it if I agreed to a gastric bypass.  I was desperate.  I agreed.  The surgery nearly killed me.  There was a very bad complication and I ended up in the Intensive Care Unit for seven months.  It took over 17 months before I could go home again.  They were so sure I would die just after the surgery.  So sure they called my family in and my husband went to the funeral home to make arrangements.  Well, there was a lot of prayer going on and I think that is what saved me.  The pain was incredible so I was doped all the time.  It would be like being in a comma as I hadn't a clue what had happened for about 3 months.  Then there were some lose windows of time that I would remember.  I had to have kidney dialysis because they had shut down but I didn't know about it.  There is a lot more but I will move on with what has happened.  I did lose weight.  I got down to 188 pounds.  I gained 6 pounds before being sent home.  A lot has happened since then.  There have been more surgeries and many more long hospital stays.  Now I haven't been in the hospital for over 2 years and I have been free of daily nurse visits for over a year.

So what has happened?  I have been gaining again.  Now I am back up to 282 as of tonight.  I feel like a lost cause.  No amount of suffering seems to work for me. 

What do I do?   I know part of the problem was all that loose skin when I lost all that weight.  212 pounds leaves a lot of loose stuff.  I hated the way I looked.  Did I allow this to happen because of that?  What is wrong with my head? 

Can someone tell me how to get started so that this group will help me get on track? 

I need help.

Ervin

- Bancroft, ON Canada

[Guest guest]

hey linda so for the late welcome. Portions, water, and exercise is key to any plan or life style you choose. START there. AND a journal is a fabulous idea.

N.H.

[Guest guest]

Thanks. It's good to know some store managers don't mind walkers. Maybe I should approach the ones here and see how they feel about it. I always feel guilty about not shopping when I am there.

Thanks again,

From: jelayne tds.net

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 8:04 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: I've been lurking

Yes. I started out walking just around my house, then I was able to walk around the block. Eventually I worked up to a mile on a manual treadmill. It took a long time to make it up to a mile. But I sure feel great having done so.

I work at Walmart and we have several people who come in every day just to walk laps around the store. They have water bottles. Usually they walk early in the morning, when less people are there. Its

ok with our store manager.

Jelayne

On Tue, Jul 13, 2010 at 9:21 AM, LKinda Ervin <ladyem54hotmail> wrote:

Thanks so much for the encouraging letter. I know I need to be more active... a lot more active. I sometimes think that I use my disability as a crutch. I can do a bit of walking. If it is rainy then maybe I should go walk around a department store for a bit. That would work, right?

Thanks again,

From: pmleehere

Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 10:14 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: I've been lurking

Hi ,Your post brought tears to my eyes. The first part about how you grew up could have been written by me. You have been through some medical and emotional nightmares and I commend you for your determination.I have some of that loose skin that is so unsightly. I hate it. I also know I cannot have it surgically removed without a high cost to me as it would be "cosmetic" surgery. It would also be PAINFUL! At times when I look at myself in the mirror, I think "Hell, I should just gain the weight back, because then my skin would fit. My self image would fit, too, since I see myself still as morbidly obese." That is my current battle with myself.My rock bottom was not yet being 40 years old and being diagnosed with diabetes. I was on medication for many things. My goal was to get off medication. I met that goal... I still was not at the "normal weight" according to the BMI scale, so I continued to try to diet. That didn't work. I just keep gaining weight. I need to refocus and get back on track.For me, the last 4 days have been good. I feel good. I have eaten healthier. I have gotten exercise. I just have to keep in mind how I feel and think of it when the binge monster comes a knockin'To get started... Make ONE small change. Find success with that and build on it, once you feel comfortable with that change. How I did it the first time was I didn't really change my eating habits at first. I started exercising. I was only able to walk about .4 of a mile before being in extreme pain in my back. So I did .4 of a mile every day until the pain was no longer extreme... Then, I upped it to a bit longer... I noticed as I was concentrating on the exercise, I actually was eating less also. (I think I wanted my exercise to count more, so subconsciously my eating habits changed a bit.)Build on your successes. If you mess up, forgive yourself and move forward.

apmleehere

From: LKinda Ervin <ladyem54hotmail>100-plus Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 7:43:39 PMSubject: I've been lurking

I first went to this site a couple of weeks ago. I've been reading most of the posts but have to admit I deleted several as well.

I've had a weight problem all of my life. Even as a child I was put on diets. It was very damaging to my self esteem and image. It was pretty tough watching my sisters, brother and cousins chow down on a bag about the size of our garbage bags filled with popcorn. I was given some little hard kind of jelly candy that were for dieters. They were like wine gums or something. I don't really remember what they were. I know I didn't like them and wanted the popcorn like everyone else. Why couldn't I be like them? Why did I have to be the fat one? I was pretty active and we all had the same food and the same amount. Why did it happen to me?

I grew up always being the fat kid. It made me tough. I was a fighter a real scrapper and very strong. I always had to fight because of the bullying I got.

I didn't have many boyfriends because they just weren't interested in me for me. They only wanted what their raging hormones were screaming for and when they didn't get what they want they moved on to someone else. I never met anyone who was just right for me.

I did eventually marry but to an older man.

But how did I get from being an 8 pound baby to a 400 pound woman? Fortunately for me, my husband still loved me even though I was so huge.

I had been on so many diets my entire life but I could never lose and keep it off of me. I would gain back twice as much because I would go back to my old habits which I couldn't seem to shake.

In 2003, I needed a hernia repair. I then weight 387 pounds. The first doctor refused outright and the second one said he would do it if I agreed to a gastric bypass. I was desperate. I agreed. The surgery nearly killed me. There was a very bad complication and I ended up in the Intensive Care Unit for seven months. It took over 17 months before I could go home again. They were so sure I would die just after the surgery. So sure they called my family in and my husband went to the funeral home to make arrangements. Well, there was a lot of prayer going on and I think that is what saved me. The pain was incredible so I was doped all the time. It would be like being in a comma as I hadn't a clue what had happened for about 3 months. Then there were some lose windows of time that I would remember. I had to have kidney dialysis because they had shut down but I didn't know about it. There is a lot more but I will move on with what has happened. I did lose weight. I got down to 188 pounds. I gained 6 pounds before being sent home. A lot has happened since then. There have been more surgeries and many more long hospital stays. Now I haven't been in the hospital for over 2 years and I have been free of daily nurse visits for over a year.

So what has happened? I have been gaining again. Now I am back up to 282 as of tonight. I feel like a lost cause. No amount of suffering seems to work for me.

What do I do? I know part of the problem was all that loose skin when I lost all that weight. 212 pounds leaves a lot of loose stuff. I hated the way I looked. Did I allow this to happen because of that? What is wrong with my head?

Can someone tell me how to get started so that this group will help me get on track?

I need help.

Ervin

- Bancroft, ON Canada