Depression

July 11, 2006

Patty ~ Thanks. You're so smart. lv, DTricia Trish <glory2glory1401@...> wrote: , Even the crappy studies that have been done on implants have shown that women are more likely to commit suicide when they have breast implants, and these studies have been supported by other studies done in other countries. The medical professional has at least gotten this right....women commit suicide at higher rates with breast

implants. However, their conjectured reasoning behind this statistic makes you frustrated. They tend to want to blame the women for having "issues" prior to getting implants and that these issues don't get solved after being implanted. This is just so much baloney. We can see for ourselves on this group that women get sick after getting implants, and the illness is enough to drive them to suicide when nobody understands their illness, nor can they provide assistance to recover from it. It's sad. It happens. There is a website that allowed discussion of one of these studies, in which some of our professional women contributed. You can check into this discussion more here: http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/eletters/326/7388/527 Patty Platte

<deniseplatte@...> wrote: Rogene~ It seems like most everyone with implants has a history of depression. Do you think that it is related to our silicone sensitivity, makes us more suspecitible. Is there anyone who was not depressed anyway before implants? Thanx Rogene~` Rogene S <saxony01@...> wrote: ,You'll get your body back . . You may have to work at it, but it's doable . . . Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you get there!After 16 years of implants and explanted for 12 years, I still have times when I don't feel

100% . . . but most of the time I feel good! . . . Compared to a lot of women my age, I feel like I'm ahead of the game because of the things I've learned along the way.Hugs,Rogene Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Small Business.

October 18, 2006

((Tami)),

My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers. I've

already been dealing with depression, so I'm really on

guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and I've

been really diligent with my self care so as to avoid

becoming debilitated. I have had those days where all

I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again even

with a gray sky overhead like today.

Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

please take what you like and leave the rest I

would add that perhaps the focus on needing a romantic

relationship helps you take the focus off of other

areas that are bothering you and are more important to

deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

underlying depression and reasons for that before you

get into a relationship. relationships tend only to

make life more complicated, in my experience anyway

. I believe you can be happy with just yourself, and

when that right person comes along, you will have done

the inner work on you that you needed to:

1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a day

but more if I can)

2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load of

laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

3. getting out in my community in moms' groups, etc.

even when I don't feel like it

4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one friend/family

member I like once a day

5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression as

well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per day)

6. crying when I need to

7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein, less

sugars and starches

8. getting as much sunlight as I can

9. drinking as much water as I can

10. therapy on and off as I've needed it... usually

for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through some

stuff

11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to work

on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

I wish you all the best; please take care of

yourself...

Best,

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

__________________________________________________

October 18, 2006

Dear Tami

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. If it's any

consolation, I know just how you feel. My son is just 4, HFA/AS, I

work full time, I'm a single mum, and I suffer from depression. My

doctor was telling me the other day that a study has been carried

out on the incidence of depression among single mothers... surprise

surprise, a very high percentage of single mums get depressed! Add

to that the incredible stresses and strains of having a child who

doesn't fit " the norm " , and depression is almost inevitable.

As for the dating thing... I've come to the conclusion that if

someone is not able to accept my son, or the fact that I'm slightly

overweight (pretty much exactly the same weight and height as you!),

or any of the other quirks and factors that make me, me, then

they're not the one for me!

I take an antidepressant called escitalopram - it's very effective.

I'm having some counselling to help me come to terms with some other

stuff. I do go to the gym, and it helps. I don't do the housework

very often because a) I hate it, it's not going anywhere and c)

I'm not that well yet .

It's particularly hard being a single mum and dating, because I

don't ever go anywhere to meet anyone! But I guess I really believe

that if God has someone lined up for me, it'll happen. I've tried

online dating, with little success and some funny stories to tell...

I'm not sure if I have the energy right now any way!

Tami, I'm sorry I can't help more. It's extraordinarily lonely,

doing what we do. Email me if you fancy a chat... sending prayers

and hugs your way.

xxxx

>

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be suffering form

depression

> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I come home and

go

> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep telling myself

that I

> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as clean as I

can,

> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy at all. I go

to

> work, and I keep thinking about going home and sleeping. I have

been

> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a boyfriend, but

> after being asked out, accepting and then being rejected after he

met

> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't know he was going

to

> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was there, so I

introduced

> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I am going to be

> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a child with

> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own. Not only

that,

> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as soon as

October

> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the time. Plus, I

feel

> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to get out of

this

> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe he just thinks

I

> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call him and ask

him.

> I have men that look at me like they are interested, but then they

> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am just completely

> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't know how to do it

> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a date, the mere

> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I asked a man

out

> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed interested, was

> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking to him at a

store

> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like to get a cup

of

> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if it's me, or

if

> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " , 160 lbs, not

> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes, german and

irish,

> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the time. Now,

it's

> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well, screw them if

they

> don't want to date a slightly over weight person, but another part

of

> me is lonely. What should I do?

>

October 18, 2006

What is SAM E? I know that I need more sunlight, but I am scared of tanning,

even though it makes me feel better. I had a day light lamp, and it gave me

migraines and didn't work at all. The gym, well, I love the gym when I can get

my son to go with me... which isn't very often. I just wish that I didn't want

a relationship. The last two 1/2 years, I had left an abusive relationship,

moved into an abused womens shelter with my son, got a new apartment, been here

over two years now, and got a job, been there 8 months now. I did try the usual

anti depressants, but they made me sick and didn't help much if at all. Family,

what is that? I have no family who wants to talk to me. They are unsupportive

of my son's asperger's dx, and don't want to be bothered. Today, I did the

dishes, after I woke up, and picked up my son from school, and asked him several

times to go to the gym with me, which he refused then he fell asleep on the

couch, which is where he is right now. I guess I could go without him, but he

is being grounded from the computer for non compliance to the teachers and if I

left, he would just go on anyhow... (The dog will bark and wake him up) I know

that I should just go when he is at school... I need to be tougher on myself as

far as that goes. I work Friday, sat, sun 12 hour shifts, and then a 4 hour

shift on Monday. So I have 3 full days off, and most of a 4th. I have been

watching my diet. NO soda, cut out candy and junk food and fast food. I only

eat all natural foods and drink water and coffee. (1/2 Caff or decaf) I mean,

I go swimming at work on Mondays(Yes, I get paid to take my autistic clients

swimming), and in the last year, I have dropped 25 pounds. I started off the

year at 185. That was awful, I couldn't even fit into a size 16. 4 years ago,

I was a size 4, now I am a 14. I took my son swimming 3 times a week at the

beach, when I could get him out of bed, and went to the gym a few days a week

with him. I really love my son, and can't imagine life without him, and when I

get like this in the late fall, I feel like the worst person in the world. Just

completely worthless. Like a bad mother. I know being hard on myself isn't

helping... but it's hard not to. I mean, if tanning helps you mentally, even

though it may harm you physically, is it a good thing to do? I mean, pills can

harm you physically too... In the summer time, I am like a different person, I

always want to be out in the sun and I love to be hot and sweaty... it's the

best feeling in the world to me. What can I do, moving is out of the

question... not enough money:( Thanks, Tami

Re: ( ) Depression

((Tami)),

My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers. I've

already been dealing with depression, so I'm really on

guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and I've

been really diligent with my self care so as to avoid

becoming debilitated. I have had those days where all

I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again even

with a gray sky overhead like today.

Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

please take what you like and leave the rest I

would add that perhaps the focus on needing a romantic

relationship helps you take the focus off of other

areas that are bothering you and are more important to

deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

underlying depression and reasons for that before you

get into a relationship. relationships tend only to

make life more complicated, in my experience anyway

. I believe you can be happy with just yourself, and

when that right person comes along, you will have done

the inner work on you that you needed to:

1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a day

but more if I can)

2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load of

laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

3. getting out in my community in moms' groups, etc.

even when I don't feel like it

4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one friend/family

member I like once a day

5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression as

well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per day)

6. crying when I need to

7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein, less

sugars and starches

8. getting as much sunlight as I can

9. drinking as much water as I can

10. therapy on and off as I've needed it... usually

for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through some

stuff

11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to work

on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

I wish you all the best; please take care of

yourself...

Best,

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

__________________________________________________

October 18, 2006

Hey there,

Don't take this one lying down and think that somehow

you are the one with the problem here - we all hit

slumps, married or not. Perhaps it's just your time

for a slump - perhaps you are just plain worn out

tired but you never let up on yourself enough to get

the rest you need.

We all do it hard as mothers/parents but we never

allow ourselves to admit it - especially those of us

who are raising kids with additional concerns.

As for the men you hoped to go out with - they have

the problem - I don't doubt that you are beautiful for

a second - you're just tired!

People who are going to love and care about you are

going to do it whether you have a son with AS or not.

My advice to you would be to not give up but to look

in other places - because let's face it - the best

place to meet a man as shallow as a dish is at the

gym!

If you're so wiped out that it's effecting your life -

take the bull by the horns and go to the Doctor! A

couple of years ago I couldn't keep my head up - I

cried at the thought of having to confide my being

tired to someone else - turns out I wasn't crazy I was

insulin resistant - I got treatment, I got my life

back.

Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

a

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I

> come home and go

> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep

> telling myself that I

> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as

> clean as I can,

> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy

> at all. I go to

> work, and I keep thinking about going home and

> sleeping. I have been

> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a

> boyfriend, but

> after being asked out, accepting and then being

> rejected after he met

> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't

> know he was going to

> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was

> there, so I introduced

> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I

> am going to be

> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a

> child with

> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own.

> Not only that,

> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as

> soon as October

> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the

> time. Plus, I feel

> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to

> get out of this

> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe

> he just thinks I

> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call

> him and ask him.

> I have men that look at me like they are interested,

> but then they

> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am

> just completely

> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't

> know how to do it

> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a

> date, the mere

> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I

> asked a man out

> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed

> interested, was

> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking

> to him at a store

> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like

> to get a cup of

> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if

> it's me, or if

> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " ,

> 160 lbs, not

> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes,

> german and irish,

> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the

> time. Now, it's

> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well,

> screw them if they

> don't want to date a slightly over weight person,

> but another part of

> me is lonely. What should I do?

>

__________________________________________________

October 18, 2006

SAMe: S-adenosyl-L-methoionine.

It is used for joint problems, etc... but it lifts

serotonin as well in clinical tests. YOu can also buy

it over the counter. It works immediately for me. I

can tell when I go off of it for a few days. My house

gets messy and I start to go into the fog again...

Yes, it sounds like SAD. If you change in the fall,

that is a big giveaway. I suggest seeing your doc. and

asking about some treatment. I grew up in the sunny

south and never had these problems until I moved to

the northeast and am now in the rainy northwest. It's

better now, though, that I know what I'm up against

and now that I don't have to fight much snow!!

Take care,

> in the sun and I love to be hot and sweaty... it's

> the best feeling in the world to me. What can I do,

> moving is out of the question... not enough money:(

> Thanks, Tami

> Re: ( ) Depression

>

> ((Tami)),

> My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers.

> I've

> already been dealing with depression, so I'm

> really on

> guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

> have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

> from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

> feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and

> I've

> been really diligent with my self care so as to

> avoid

> becoming debilitated. I have had those days where

> all

> I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

> still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

> rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again

> even

> with a gray sky overhead like today.

>

> Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

> please take what you like and leave the rest I

> would add that perhaps the focus on needing a

> romantic

> relationship helps you take the focus off of other

> areas that are bothering you and are more

> important to

> deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

> underlying depression and reasons for that before

> you

> get into a relationship. relationships tend only

> to

> make life more complicated, in my experience

> anyway

> . I believe you can be happy with just yourself,

> and

> when that right person comes along, you will have

> done

> the inner work on you that you needed to:

>

> 1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a

> day

> but more if I can)

> 2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load

> of

> laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

> 3. getting out in my community in moms' groups,

> etc.

> even when I don't feel like it

> 4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one

> friend/family

> member I like once a day

> 5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression

> as

> well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per

> day)

> 6. crying when I need to

> 7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein,

> less

> sugars and starches

> 8. getting as much sunlight as I can

> 9. drinking as much water as I can

> 10. therapy on and off as I've needed it...

> usually

> for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through

> some

> stuff

> 11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to

> work

> on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

>

> I wish you all the best; please take care of

> yourself...

>

> Best,

>

> --- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

>

> > I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> > suffering form depression

>

> __________________________________________________

>

October 18, 2006

Wow, insulin resistant? Hmm... I did get tested for diabetes, my doctor says I

am very healthy... low blood pressure, low cholesterol, I get tested every six

months because I am a cancer survivor... but that was along time ago in another

lifetime... I just think that I has AS and SAD... but I can't seek treatment for

AS or I will lose my job. (I just got an excellent review, so they don't

suspect anything), I take care of PDD adults, well, I supervise them and assist

them with daily life, funny, eh? It's easy to help other people with their

problems, especially these guys because they are so sweet and so caring and they

like you unconditionally. I am very lucky to have this job... I love it... but

some days, I just want to go home and go to sleep. Not them, they always want

to do something with me, we go swimming on Mondays, and they love that... some

Mondays, I have a pep talk with myself, " Okay, you are going to go swimming for

2 hours, and you are going to pretend like you have energy even if you don't. "

My son, he isn't motivational to me... he never wants to do anything! It drives

me crazy. Because I could easily stay home and sleep when he doesn't want to do

anything, but I want him to want to do things with me, so we can get out of the

house. But, no such luck. He was up all night again, so he passed out on the

couch a little while ago... I have to get him up soon and make him go to bed...

I hate doing that, it takes forever... he's so disoriented, and he is 6'1 and

200 lbs... I am always afraid we are going to get hurt... maybe tomorrow I will

get something done... I sure hope so... I am convinced that men don't care about

looks, as long as you are 110 lbs, they don't care how scary your face is, how

crazy you are, they just care about the body... WHY??? It's so stupid... but yet

men can be chubby and have bad skin and they will get a girlfriend... what a

double standard.

Re: ( ) Depression

Hey there,

Don't take this one lying down and think that somehow

you are the one with the problem here - we all hit

slumps, married or not. Perhaps it's just your time

for a slump - perhaps you are just plain worn out

tired but you never let up on yourself enough to get

the rest you need.

We all do it hard as mothers/parents but we never

allow ourselves to admit it - especially those of us

who are raising kids with additional concerns.

As for the men you hoped to go out with - they have

the problem - I don't doubt that you are beautiful for

a second - you're just tired!

People who are going to love and care about you are

going to do it whether you have a son with AS or not.

My advice to you would be to not give up but to look

in other places - because let's face it - the best

place to meet a man as shallow as a dish is at the

gym!

If you're so wiped out that it's effecting your life -

take the bull by the horns and go to the Doctor! A

couple of years ago I couldn't keep my head up - I

cried at the thought of having to confide my being

tired to someone else - turns out I wasn't crazy I was

insulin resistant - I got treatment, I got my life

back.

Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

a

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I

> come home and go

> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep

> telling myself that I

> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as

> clean as I can,

> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy

> at all. I go to

> work, and I keep thinking about going home and

> sleeping. I have been

> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a

> boyfriend, but

> after being asked out, accepting and then being

> rejected after he met

> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't

> know he was going to

> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was

> there, so I introduced

> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I

> am going to be

> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a

> child with

> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own.

> Not only that,

> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as

> soon as October

> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the

> time. Plus, I feel

> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to

> get out of this

> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe

> he just thinks I

> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call

> him and ask him.

> I have men that look at me like they are interested,

> but then they

> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am

> just completely

> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't

> know how to do it

> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a

> date, the mere

> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I

> asked a man out

> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed

> interested, was

> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking

> to him at a store

> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like

> to get a cup of

> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if

> it's me, or if

> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " ,

> 160 lbs, not

> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes,

> german and irish,

> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the

> time. Now, it's

> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well,

> screw them if they

> don't want to date a slightly over weight person,

> but another part of

> me is lonely. What should I do?

>

__________________________________________________

October 18, 2006

I too suffer from depression. My son is 9 and I have been taking prozac for 5

years ( 6 months after his dx I went to the doctor) I felt like I was in a

drain and I was looking up but the water was crashing in on me and I couldn't

see out let alone get out. Even when my son would make gains I could not find

any joy. Take care of yourself. You are all your son has. Even if you were

married you'd still be the primary care giver but with another person to care

for.

All the best,

Jill

" He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths

grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the

Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will

run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. " Is. 40:29-31

October 18, 2006

Yeah, I grew up in Florida and Mississippi, and never had these problems til I

moved here, but the last few years, it has gotten worse. I have tried the

drugs... yuck. I hate being on drugs, they make me feel even worse. I think I

should just start saving and move south but I worry that wont solve my

problems... or maybe make things worse...

Re: ( ) Depression

>

> ((Tami)),

> My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers.

> I've

> already been dealing with depression, so I'm

> really on

> guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

> have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

> from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

> feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and

> I've

> been really diligent with my self care so as to

> avoid

> becoming debilitated. I have had those days where

> all

> I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

> still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

> rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again

> even

> with a gray sky overhead like today.

>

> Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

> please take what you like and leave the rest I

> would add that perhaps the focus on needing a

> romantic

> relationship helps you take the focus off of other

> areas that are bothering you and are more

> important to

> deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

> underlying depression and reasons for that before

> you

> get into a relationship. relationships tend only

> to

> make life more complicated, in my experience

> anyway

> . I believe you can be happy with just yourself,

> and

> when that right person comes along, you will have

> done

> the inner work on you that you needed to:

>

> 1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a

> day

> but more if I can)

> 2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load

> of

> laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

> 3. getting out in my community in moms' groups,

> etc.

> even when I don't feel like it

> 4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one

> friend/family

> member I like once a day

> 5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression

> as

> well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per

> day)

> 6. crying when I need to

> 7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein,

> less

> sugars and starches

> 8. getting as much sunlight as I can

> 9. drinking as much water as I can

> 10. therapy on and off as I've needed it...

> usually

> for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through

> some

> stuff

> 11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to

> work

> on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

>

> I wish you all the best; please take care of

> yourself...

>

> Best,

>

> --- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

>

> > I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> > suffering form depression

>

> __________________________________________________

>

October 18, 2006

Thanks alot, I guess I am just having a really bad day... but I feel better now,

nice to get it off your chest! I will keep hoping that tomorrow will be

better... and I wont stop hoping.

( ) Re: Depression

I too suffer from depression. My son is 9 and I have been taking prozac for 5

years ( 6 months after his dx I went to the doctor) I felt like I was in a drain

and I was looking up but the water was crashing in on me and I couldn't see out

let alone get out. Even when my son would make gains I could not find any joy.

Take care of yourself. You are all your son has. Even if you were married you'd

still be the primary care giver but with another person to care for.

All the best,

Jill

" He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even

youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope

in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they

will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. " Is. 40:29-31

October 19, 2006

Call your gym and ask if they have a program where people work out as a

group. Or try to find a friend or buddy to go to the gym with. Sometimes it

helps with there is someone else there to motivate you to go. Pam

October 19, 2006

I have to disagree with you about " the perfect body " I think men, just like us

women

like a person who seems confident in themselves..you know what they say, " if

you don't love yourself no one will love you " I like to read Louise Hey. She

has a

website that is free and she writes a lot of inspirational stuff...give her a

try..

it cant hurt..

hope you feel better....(i am also a single mom with an aspie) it can be very

challenging!!!!

Kim....anytime you would like to you can e-mail me directly..

Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote:

Wow, insulin resistant? Hmm... I did get tested for diabetes, my

doctor says I am very healthy... low blood pressure, low cholesterol, I get

tested every six months because I am a cancer survivor... but that was along

time ago in another lifetime... I just think that I has AS and SAD... but I

can't seek treatment for AS or I will lose my job. (I just got an excellent

review, so they don't suspect anything), I take care of PDD adults, well, I

supervise them and assist them with daily life, funny, eh? It's easy to help

other people with their problems, especially these guys because they are so

sweet and so caring and they like you unconditionally. I am very lucky to have

this job... I love it... but some days, I just want to go home and go to sleep.

Not them, they always want to do something with me, we go swimming on Mondays,

and they love that... some Mondays, I have a pep talk with myself, " Okay, you

are going to go swimming for 2 hours, and you are going to

pretend like you have energy even if you don't. " My son, he isn't motivational

to me... he never wants to do anything! It drives me crazy. Because I could

easily stay home and sleep when he doesn't want to do anything, but I want him

to want to do things with me, so we can get out of the house. But, no such luck.

He was up all night again, so he passed out on the couch a little while ago... I

have to get him up soon and make him go to bed... I hate doing that, it takes

forever... he's so disoriented, and he is 6'1 and 200 lbs... I am always afraid

we are going to get hurt... maybe tomorrow I will get something done... I sure

hope so... I am convinced that men don't care about looks, as long as you are

110 lbs, they don't care how scary your face is, how crazy you are, they just

care about the body... WHY??? It's so stupid... but yet men can be chubby and

have bad skin and they will get a girlfriend... what a double standard.

Re: ( ) Depression

Hey there,

Don't take this one lying down and think that somehow

you are the one with the problem here - we all hit

slumps, married or not. Perhaps it's just your time

for a slump - perhaps you are just plain worn out

tired but you never let up on yourself enough to get

the rest you need.

We all do it hard as mothers/parents but we never

allow ourselves to admit it - especially those of us

who are raising kids with additional concerns.

As for the men you hoped to go out with - they have

the problem - I don't doubt that you are beautiful for

a second - you're just tired!

People who are going to love and care about you are

going to do it whether you have a son with AS or not.

My advice to you would be to not give up but to look

in other places - because let's face it - the best

place to meet a man as shallow as a dish is at the

gym!

If you're so wiped out that it's effecting your life -

take the bull by the horns and go to the Doctor! A

couple of years ago I couldn't keep my head up - I

cried at the thought of having to confide my being

tired to someone else - turns out I wasn't crazy I was

insulin resistant - I got treatment, I got my life

back.

Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

a

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I

> come home and go

> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep

> telling myself that I

> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as

> clean as I can,

> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy

> at all. I go to

> work, and I keep thinking about going home and

> sleeping. I have been

> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a

> boyfriend, but

> after being asked out, accepting and then being

> rejected after he met

> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't

> know he was going to

> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was

> there, so I introduced

> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I

> am going to be

> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a

> child with

> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own.

> Not only that,

> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as

> soon as October

> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the

> time. Plus, I feel

> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to

> get out of this

> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe

> he just thinks I

> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call

> him and ask him.

> I have men that look at me like they are interested,

> but then they

> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am

> just completely

> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't

> know how to do it

> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a

> date, the mere

> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I

> asked a man out

> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed

> interested, was

> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking

> to him at a store

> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like

> to get a cup of

> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if

> it's me, or if

> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " ,

> 160 lbs, not

> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes,

> german and irish,

> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the

> time. Now, it's

> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well,

> screw them if they

> don't want to date a slightly over weight person,

> but another part of

> me is lonely. What should I do?

>

__________________________________________________

October 19, 2006

Kim,

You are right about that. Not all men feel that way but I would say the

better ones do.

Re: ( ) Depression

>

> Hey there,

>

> Don't take this one lying down and think that somehow

> you are the one with the problem here - we all hit

> slumps, married or not. Perhaps it's just your time

> for a slump - perhaps you are just plain worn out

> tired but you never let up on yourself enough to get

> the rest you need.

>

> We all do it hard as mothers/parents but we never

> allow ourselves to admit it - especially those of us

> who are raising kids with additional concerns.

>

> As for the men you hoped to go out with - they have

> the problem - I don't doubt that you are beautiful for

> a second - you're just tired!

>

> People who are going to love and care about you are

> going to do it whether you have a son with AS or not.

> My advice to you would be to not give up but to look

> in other places - because let's face it - the best

> place to meet a man as shallow as a dish is at the

> gym!

>

> If you're so wiped out that it's effecting your life -

> take the bull by the horns and go to the Doctor! A

> couple of years ago I couldn't keep my head up - I

> cried at the thought of having to confide my being

> tired to someone else - turns out I wasn't crazy I was

> insulin resistant - I got treatment, I got my life

> back.

>

> Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

> little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

>

> a

>

> --- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

>

>> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

>> suffering form depression

>> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I

>> come home and go

>> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep

>> telling myself that I

>> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as

>> clean as I can,

>> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy

>> at all. I go to

>> work, and I keep thinking about going home and

>> sleeping. I have been

>> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a

>> boyfriend, but

>> after being asked out, accepting and then being

>> rejected after he met

>> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't

>> know he was going to

>> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was

>> there, so I introduced

>> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I

>> am going to be

>> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a

>> child with

>> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own.

>> Not only that,

>> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as

>> soon as October

>> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the

>> time. Plus, I feel

>> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to

>> get out of this

>> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe

>> he just thinks I

>> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call

>> him and ask him.

>> I have men that look at me like they are interested,

>> but then they

>> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am

>> just completely

>> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't

>> know how to do it

>> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a

>> date, the mere

>> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I

>> asked a man out

>> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed

>> interested, was

>> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking

>> to him at a store

>> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like

>> to get a cup of

>> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if

>> it's me, or if

>> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " ,

>> 160 lbs, not

>> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes,

>> german and irish,

>> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the

>> time. Now, it's

>> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well,

>> screw them if they

>> don't want to date a slightly over weight person,

>> but another part of

>> me is lonely. What should I do?

>>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

October 19, 2006

I should do that... I don't think they do... but you never know! Thanks!! Tami

Re: ( ) Depression

Call your gym and ask if they have a program where people work out as a

group. Or try to find a friend or buddy to go to the gym with. Sometimes it

helps with there is someone else there to motivate you to go. Pam

October 19, 2006

Well, I am sure not all men are like that, but a BIG percentage of them are, and

those aren't the kind of men I want anyhow... even if I do lose all the weight,

I don't care what a man looks like, it's what is in his heart that I care about.

BTW, I have lost 12 pounds in the last TWO WEEKS!! And I think I do love

myself... even though I am hard on myself at times... thanks for your

response... Tami

Re: ( ) Depression

Hey there,

Don't take this one lying down and think that somehow

you are the one with the problem here - we all hit

slumps, married or not. Perhaps it's just your time

for a slump - perhaps you are just plain worn out

tired but you never let up on yourself enough to get

the rest you need.

We all do it hard as mothers/parents but we never

allow ourselves to admit it - especially those of us

who are raising kids with additional concerns.

As for the men you hoped to go out with - they have

the problem - I don't doubt that you are beautiful for

a second - you're just tired!

People who are going to love and care about you are

going to do it whether you have a son with AS or not.

My advice to you would be to not give up but to look

in other places - because let's face it - the best

place to meet a man as shallow as a dish is at the

gym!

If you're so wiped out that it's effecting your life -

take the bull by the horns and go to the Doctor! A

couple of years ago I couldn't keep my head up - I

cried at the thought of having to confide my being

tired to someone else - turns out I wasn't crazy I was

insulin resistant - I got treatment, I got my life

back.

Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

a

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

> that is getting worse. I take him to school and I

> come home and go

> back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep

> telling myself that I

> want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as

> clean as I can,

> but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy

> at all. I go to

> work, and I keep thinking about going home and

> sleeping. I have been

> telling myself for two years that I didn't want a

> boyfriend, but

> after being asked out, accepting and then being

> rejected after he met

> my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't

> know he was going to

> be at the gym, but he was there and my son was

> there, so I introduced

> him and never heard from him again. I feel like I

> am going to be

> alone forever because men don't want to deal with a

> child with

> Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own.

> Not only that,

> the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as

> soon as October

> comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the

> time. Plus, I feel

> like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to

> get out of this

> slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe

> he just thinks I

> am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call

> him and ask him.

> I have men that look at me like they are interested,

> but then they

> aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am

> just completely

> stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't

> know how to do it

> all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a

> date, the mere

> thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I

> asked a man out

> the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed

> interested, was

> very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking

> to him at a store

> for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like

> to get a cup of

> coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if

> it's me, or if

> it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " ,

> 160 lbs, not

> skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes,

> german and irish,

> when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the

> time. Now, it's

> like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well,

> screw them if they

> don't want to date a slightly over weight person,

> but another part of

> me is lonely. What should I do?

>

__________________________________________________

October 20, 2006

Dear ... Thanks again for your advice, I took the sam-e and I had already

changed my diet, and I have been excercizing, well, 3 x this week, and it's

helped alot. I really appreciate you taking the time to write to me, it means

alot. That sam e really gave me alot of energy... I was shocked. It says on

the package, do not take if you are bipolar because it can cause manic

episodes... no wonder... I couldn't sleep at all the first night I took it! You

are a real gem. Tami

Re: ( ) Depression

((Tami)),

My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers. I've

already been dealing with depression, so I'm really on

guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and I've

been really diligent with my self care so as to avoid

becoming debilitated. I have had those days where all

I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again even

with a gray sky overhead like today.

Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

please take what you like and leave the rest I

would add that perhaps the focus on needing a romantic

relationship helps you take the focus off of other

areas that are bothering you and are more important to

deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

underlying depression and reasons for that before you

get into a relationship. relationships tend only to

make life more complicated, in my experience anyway

. I believe you can be happy with just yourself, and

when that right person comes along, you will have done

the inner work on you that you needed to:

1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a day

but more if I can)

2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load of

laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

3. getting out in my community in moms' groups, etc.

even when I don't feel like it

4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one friend/family

member I like once a day

5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression as

well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per day)

6. crying when I need to

7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein, less

sugars and starches

8. getting as much sunlight as I can

9. drinking as much water as I can

10. therapy on and off as I've needed it... usually

for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through some

stuff

11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to work

on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

I wish you all the best; please take care of

yourself...

Best,

--- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> suffering form depression

__________________________________________________

October 20, 2006

That's great!

Yeah, I take it usually in the afternoon. One or two

pills... a small dose... 2-400 mg.

So glad you are doing/feeling better... keep us

posted,

--- Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote:

> Dear ... Thanks again for your advice, I took

> the sam-e and I had already changed my diet, and I

> have been excercizing, well, 3 x this week, and it's

> helped alot. I really appreciate you taking the

> time to write to me, it means alot. That sam e

> really gave me alot of energy... I was shocked. It

> says on the package, do not take if you are bipolar

> because it can cause manic episodes... no wonder...

> I couldn't sleep at all the first night I took it!

> You are a real gem. Tami

> Re: ( ) Depression

>

> ((Tami)),

> My 3.3 year old most likely has HFA/Aspergers.

> I've

> already been dealing with depression, so I'm

> really on

> guard against it getting worse. It sounds like you

> have Seasonal Affective Disorder as well. I suffer

> from that, too. Last week, it hit-- I could almost

> feel my serotonin and beta endorphins dive-- and

> I've

> been really diligent with my self care so as to

> avoid

> becoming debilitated. I have had those days where

> all

> I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part, that

> still happens, but only a couple days a month now,

> rather than every day. I'm enjoying my life again

> even

> with a gray sky overhead like today.

>

> Here's what has worked to keep me out of the pit;

> please take what you like and leave the rest I

> would add that perhaps the focus on needing a

> romantic

> relationship helps you take the focus off of other

> areas that are bothering you and are more

> important to

> deal with now. Perhaps it's best to deal with your

> underlying depression and reasons for that before

> you

> get into a relationship. relationships tend only

> to

> make life more complicated, in my experience

> anyway

> . I believe you can be happy with just yourself,

> and

> when that right person comes along, you will have

> done

> the inner work on you that you needed to:

>

> 1. some exercise everyday (at least 15 minutes a

> day

> but more if I can)

> 2. cleaning at least 20 minutes a day and a load

> of

> laundry every day even when I don't feel like it

> 3. getting out in my community in moms' groups,

> etc.

> even when I don't feel like it

> 4. calling/emailing/im'ing at least one

> friend/family

> member I like once a day

> 5. taking SAM-e (clinically proven for depression

> as

> well as joint trouble... usually 200-400mg per

> day)

> 6. crying when I need to

> 7. eating as well as I can... plenty of protein,

> less

> sugars and starches

> 8. getting as much sunlight as I can

> 9. drinking as much water as I can

> 10. therapy on and off as I've needed it...

> usually

> for a few weeks at a time, just to talk through

> some

> stuff

> 11. do it myself cognitive behavioral therapy to

> work

> on my faulty and self defeating beliefs

>

> I wish you all the best; please take care of

> yourself...

>

> Best,

>

> --- Tami <nyx@...> wrote:

>

> > I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be

> > suffering form depression

>

> __________________________________________________

>

October 20, 2006

I would go see your doctor and talk about medications for depression. go to

www.depressionhurts.com for a start. Until you get a grip on depression, I

would not get too worked up over the guy thing. Secondly, why would you want to

date a guy who didn't like your kid? I don't care if you kid has purple

sea-water disorder - if the guy doesn't want to learn about it and learn to love

your ds, then why waste your energy or your ds's? You might try getting

involved in something - a hobby, a church group, a community group - once you

get to feeling better. That is a great way to meet people, make some friends.

I think that is sometimes what keeps me sane! Hang in there!

Roxanna

( ) Depression

I have a 14 y.o. son w/AS, and I seem to be suffering form depression

that is getting worse. I take him to school and I come home and go

back to sleep. Today, I slept all day. I keep telling myself that I

want to go to the gym, clean my house, I keep it as clean as I can,

but I want it cleaner...I just don't have the energy at all. I go to

work, and I keep thinking about going home and sleeping. I have been

telling myself for two years that I didn't want a boyfriend, but

after being asked out, accepting and then being rejected after he met

my son at the gym, it has hit me hard. I didn't know he was going to

be at the gym, but he was there and my son was there, so I introduced

him and never heard from him again. I feel like I am going to be

alone forever because men don't want to deal with a child with

Asperger's.... especially one that isn't their own. Not only that,

the weather always makes me tired, it seems like as soon as October

comes in Maine, I get sluggish and tired all the time. Plus, I feel

like I have AS myself, and I just don't know how to get out of this

slump. Maybe he didn't reject me for my son, maybe he just thinks I

am a weirdo. I don't know. I am not going to call him and ask him.

I have men that look at me like they are interested, but then they

aren't. Maybe I am misreading them. Maybe I am just completely

stupid... I don't know how women do it. I don't know how to do it

all, how to work and be a mom and how to find a date, the mere

thought of calling a man gives me panic attacks. I asked a man out

the once, a man who talked to me alot, who seemed interested, was

very friendly, or so I thought. I had been talking to him at a store

for about a month, and when I asked him if he'd like to get a cup of

coffee, he said, " Umm, not really. " I don't know if it's me, or if

it is, what about me is unacceptable. I am 5'6 " , 160 lbs, not

skinny, but not that fat, blonde hair, blue eyes, german and irish,

when I was skinny, I had men asking me out all the time. Now, it's

like I have the plague. Part of me thinks, well, screw them if they

don't want to date a slightly over weight person, but another part of

me is lonely. What should I do?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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October 20, 2006

I agree with a! You've got standards!

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Depression

Keep your chin up - there's no shame in waiting a

little longer for Mr. Right - you've got standards:)

a

.

October 21, 2006

That's the thing... the guy isnt the issue... I don't want the guy. I feel the

same way you do, I don't want anyone who doesn't like my child... doesn't make

life any less lonely.