Sister Margaret

[Guest guest]

Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life. Then

she was called to her reward. As she approached the

Pearly Gates, St. said, " Hold on, Sister

Margaret; not so fast! "

" But I have been good all my life and dedicated to

the work of the Lord from the time I was taken in as

an infant by the sisters at the Convent to my dying

breath. I have lived for this moment! " Sister

Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.

" That is just the problem, " replied St. .

" You never learned right from wrong and, to get into

Heaven, you must know the difference between right

and wrong.

" Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get

into Heaven! " Sister Margaret pleaded.

" I am going to have to send you back down to

Earth. When you get there I want you to smoke a

cigarette and call me when you are finished. We

will discuss your situation then, " ordered St.

.

Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel,

and then immediately called St. , coughing and

hacking. " Saint " she gasped, " I can hardly

breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks,

I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up. "

" Good! " replied the old Saint. " Now you are

finally getting a feel for right and wrong. Now go

out tonight and drink some hard liquor and call me

when you are ready. "

Sister Margaret phoned St. immediately after

having several belts of Jack 's. " Saint

... I feel woozy. That vile liquor burned my throat

and nauseated me. It is all I can do to keep it

down. "

" Good, good! Now you are starting to see the

difference between right and wrong, " said St.

with delight. " Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man

and know him in the Biblical sense. You know, have

sex with him, afterward, call me. "

Two weeks passed before Sister Ma rgaret called

St. and left a message:

" Yo, Pete, It's Peggy .... It's gonna be a while. "

--

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" Life's a journey, not a destination "

Tyler (Aerosmith)