going offline for a little while

[Guest guest]

Hi all! Welcome to all the new members!

I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I haven't been doing so well. I

had my first go 'round with pancreatitis following my 4th ERCP with

sphincterotomy this past June (luckily, between the meds & just being so

sick, I have almost no recollection of it or my 4 wks in the hospital), and

I haven't been doing so well. I also have SOD (which causes the biliary

dyskinesia), now it's affecting the way my pancreas is able to function, and

gastroparesis - all of these were post-gall bladder removal. I've been in a

deep depression, my husband calls it post-traumatic stress since I have

bouts of suddenly crying for no reason, getting so upset out of the blue

that I have an asthma attack, wake up from nightmares hysterical in cold

sweats, and just not dealing with anything very well. I don't like talking

about what happened to me to people who don't understand.

I've lost all contact with my mother's side of the family - I was

hospitalized 6 times this year (for liver/pancreas problems) and not one

family member came to visit or call! Most only live 1 hr away, others 3 hrs

away. It's heartbreaking to deal with this right now, but mentally &

emotionally I think I have let go of them, finally, and they can't hurt me

anymore.

I've been unable to keep anything down since last wednesday (although,

starting yesterday I have been able to keep down water only - I buy the kind

fortified with electrolytes, so I hope that helps!) - everything I've eaten

comes back up - eventually - thanx to the gastroparesis.

Tomorrow morning around 9am, my husband (whose colon burst last March, had

peritonitis, and wound up with a colostomy - all in the middle of my

hospitalizations too) has his procedure reversed - they'll reattach both

ends of the colon (after moving some stuff around since they removed a

section of his colon last time) and will no longer have a colostomy . We're

both very nervous about it, but I'm sure not letting him know how I feel,

because he'll only get more upset - he's scared enough as it is.

I sure hope everything goes according to plan tomorrow, because I don't know

what I'll do if anything happens to him. He's been my rock.

He will be in ICU for 1 to 2 days, then moved to a regular room for 5-7

days. Between work & visiting him, I doubt I'll be online much for at least

a week, if not more. He sure won't be able to do much for a few wks after

he comes home, and I'm sure he'll be very stir crazy being home alone all

day while I'm at work. I can't afford to take any time off other than the

day of his surgery & some time the day he comes home - I have no disability

coverage at my work (too many pre-existing conditions), so naturally I've

used up all of my vacation/sick time.

I'm wishing everyone good health, and hope that you can include him in your

prayers.

Bye for now,

Cathie in PA