Re: 6 Months ago I lost my angel

[Guest guest]

Darin

It is 3 am and I am up.........You are so wonderful. I am crying.........I

too have become a better person because of my mother. She is the world to

me.........I would die for her and I know how much you hurt....

The Lord will bless you and Janie abundately for your unselfish devotion and

love you have for humanity.

I still remember how you came to help me get Mama out of the quadrisizer at

last year's symposium...............that was so kind of you.

We love you Darin you awesome man of God.

Katy is watching over you and loves you so.

Dee Dee and Bridget

[Guest guest]

Thanks Dee Dee. God has a special purpose form you I knew that the first

time I met you and your Mom.

With Much respect

Darin

[Guest guest]

Darin & Janie,

Your grief is real, and Scripture tells us it's healthy that you grieve. It's

good for you. Jesus said, " Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be

comforted. " [Matt. 5:4]. If we take God at his word, I believe this means you

will be blessed because you have mourned. I wish I could tell you the how or the

why or the when or the what of that blessing, but I can't.

As hard as it may be sometimes, I encourage you to keep trusting in the Lord.

When you struggle to find or keep that trust, tell Him. Talk to Him about it,

and I believe He will show you how to keep trusting, to keep believing. He's

done it before.

You know, one of the stories I've always been most intrigued with is raising

Lazarus from the dead. If you'll recall, both and Martha are

grieving--crying. One of them even chews Jesus out, telling him " If you had been

here he wouldn't have died. "

Jesus's response?

Jesus wept.

He cried too. He mourned too. Just like you. He grieved with and Martha,

and I believe He is also grieving with you now as you both go through this.

The next thing that happens is Lazarus is raised from the dead. In the midst of

his grief and despite his grief, Jesus calls Lazarus out of the tomb. I believe

He has also called Katy out too, and maybe, just maybe one reason why you don't

do tube feedings with her anymore, and you don't do therapy sessions anymore, is

because she doesn't need those things anymore--and not because she has died but

because she too is risen.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the

new has come! [2Cor. 5:17]

[ ] 6 Months ago I lost my angel

It is 12:02 in the morning Sunday here in Dallas I can't sleep tonight is a

hard nite for me. It has been 6 months the 26th since Kaltyn took her flight

home to be with Jesus. Words cannot express the loss I feel. When you see me

on the street it is as nothing has happened. It is amazeing how the flesh

continues to go on. Though the heart is hearting so deeply. I miss the small

things.

Just cuddleing at nite beside her.

The g-tube feedings.

The sound of the puls ox going off.

The crying out for attention she ofen did.

The therapy sessions just waiting for that one special thing to happen.

Changeing her diapers and whatching her get mad.

These are small things to many but it was a part of my life for so long. I

can't seem to get over trying to do these things still. I often find my self

going ot the medcine cabinet or trying to go to the pharmacy for something. But

then realize those day's are gone. However someone said something to me the

other day and I thought about it. They said to me they were saddened that I

didn't have a full life with Kaltyn. After I thought about it I realized they

were wrong. See many times we have our children and there either at school or

Grandma'sor college. See I spent 24 hours a day wiht Kaltyn for 6 years. If

you add that up compared to what time others really have there children GOD

gave me a full life with her just in a smaller amount of time.

Where do I go from here is what I tell myself I cry daily tough you may not

see me. I still want to hold her one more time. I try to remember did I tell

her enough that I loved her. This has forever shanged my life. HBOT made the

biggest impact on Kaltyns life. Dr. Neubauer and his staff gave me 6 ears when

the Dr.s had given up and said 6 months. I will forever be greatfull to him

and his staff. Regina I still remeber the day we left the clinic and

she followed us to the van and cried as we pulled off after our last treatment

of the first set She will forever be in our hearts and prayers where ever

she is.

I still rember how the staff loved us took care of us and treated us as if

we were there own. I miss those day's.. I have the privlage of being at this

years symposium. One that i feel will mean the most to me. Because now I can

thank him with a better understnading of what he gave me him and his staff. Im

a better person because of Kaltyn. I look back and there are so many I have

offened over the years Hartsoe if your out there I do respect and love

you deeply.. Ken locklier Same for you. Dave Snow we have only talked on line

but I feel like I have said some things online I owe you a great apology

for. Many of you. If I have offened you I apologize. Im here now on a mission

to

better this feild. I could have walked away the day this happened to Katy

because my journey had come to a end. But no it hasn't. There was a reaso for

Janie having to have a hysterectomy it is because we have a thousand children

in the world that need us to continue to fight for them. Kaltys last words to

me were. Daddy I taught you all I could teach you. It is up to you to finish

the race.

Many people I wish I could thank online but I can't the fear of leaveing

someone out is to painfull. My life the last 6 months had been hell and Im sorry

to anyone I ofended. If they only knew what I lost the 26th of January. I

lost my life.

Kaltyn was took away form me in 1998 when she was hurt at only 5 GOD spared

her and I had a new child a special child. In January 26th I lost her again.I

was very angry with God at that time and lashed at others. I have no excuse.

A very wise man once told me to stop and look before speaking. Thank you

Wally I have done that. Freel's you have been my strenght and spritual

counsler over the last few years. You have made my life and this time of

greiveing so much easier to bare. You have a way without saying anything to

make a

person feel good about themselves. Many times I call you not to talk really I

make and excuse to call your wisdome is what Im looking for. I leave the phone

after we talk with a new light in my candle.

My parents and janies parents through the last few months have helped us in

very specail ways. How I love our parents. My pastor Reverend Glenn Causey is

really special to me as well. rouse with Crandall ISD and the staff

there have been so awesome I owe you guys. Things you did for Kaltyn is over

whelming.

Sorry this is so long. But you guy's there was love beyond love with Kalty

and me and her mother. She was our life. Still is today. Her room is still

the same. Can't bear to change it I feel that she is not gone just working in

heaven prepareing for our journey one day. Thank you all for listening and keep

us in your prayers. As we will keep you all in our's. I do think of

you oftne and wish I could one day make up for what I have done and said to

you in the past. I feel your a good man and deserve more respect than I have

given you.

Ed Nemmeth saved you for last. You have a special anointing on you. GOD has

used you in my life trmaindously. I will forever be greatfull.You may feel

like it wasn't much or can' figure out what it was you said or did but you

saved my life many times. Harch Thanks also. Many of you I owe thanks with

a

greatfull heart.

Sinyard there are no words to express how I feel about you . You were

god sent is all I can say.

Love you all.

Darin

I thank God every day in remeberance of you.

[Guest guest]

Thank you. You have no Idea how htat has helped me. I can tell you I

never thought of it that way.

Thaks for being you.

Darin