Re: As a mom what should I do?

[Guest guest]

Trish,

Take a deep breath. Now, relax and stop what-iffing yourself to death. My dad says I am the queen of what-if and that I what-if myself to death! If Kels ends up getting too tired and has to miss the contest, she will be disappointed, but she will bounce back from the disappointment much easier than you, because she's a remarkable kid (with a remarkable mom)! Now, please don't take this as me fussing at you, as it's not meant that way. You are reacting just like almost any mother who is worried about her child would act. There will be many times you will think that Kels is taking on too much and sometimes you will be right. However, in a lot of the cases, she'll manage just fine or she'll need to figure out for herself that she overloaded. I think the way I might handle this situation is as follows:

Have a little talk with Kels and let her know you are a little (I know you are a lot concerned, but in this case I think you need to minimize your concern to Kels) that the contest may be too much with her levels just coming back down and her recent illness(es) - can't remember but it seems like she had a couple of bugs back to back. However, let her know that even though she is only 9, you know she is a very bright and responsible girl. Tell her you are going to trust her judgement on this one. However, let her know that this will be a test. She must promise to tell you the truth about how she is feeling. She must assure you that she will let you know if she needs to take the time for extra rest. Even though she is very young, she is years beyond the average child as far as her wisdom and understanding goes. AIH is something she will likely have to deal with for the rest of her life. It will most likely always mean that she requires more rest and precautions than someone who does not have a chronic illness. She must learn now that she has to pace herself and that she must be totally honest with herself and with you about how she is feeling. She must promise you that she will tell you when she is feeling bad even if it means she'll end up having to miss out on doing something she really wants to do. Explain to her that this is a very big thing. Much bigger than just the contest. This is about Kels helping you to feel that you can trust her judgement and trust her to be totally honest with you about when she is not feeling well. I think the contest could end up being very important in helping Kels to understand that she is the one who has to know her limits. Right now, you can watch her very closely and you can enforce extra rest even when she is not happy. However, it won't be long before that will become much harder for you to do. That is why it is so important that Kels begin to understand that if she will agree to always be honest with you about how she is feeling and when she needs extra rest, you will both benefit in the long run. Her health will be better if she listens to her body. You will be more willing to allow her to participate in extra things if you can feel confident that she will be honest with herself and with you, even if it means having to change plans at the very last minute. Kels will gain a sense of pride and feel more in control of her life. I know a 9 year old doesn't need to have complete control of their life. That's why God gave children parents. We often must protect them from themselves. If Kels were just an average 9 year old, my advice for you might be totally different. However, I do honestly believe she is wise beyond her years.

Having said all of that, remember that you are her mother and you certainly know her better than any of us. If, in your heart, you truly feel that being in the contest not be in Kels best interest, then go with your heart. Whatever you decide, I am sure Kels will bounce back because she is a trooper!

Give her a big hug and kiss for me and tell her to knock their socks off (in the contest)! By they way, if she does it, what song is she going to do?

[Guest guest]

Hi Trish....

from one mom to another....when they feel good enough to do what ever....or even don't feel that well but want to do it any ways...LET THEM.....so many things have been taken away that most kids take for granted....they have to live their lives ...even when on a mom it might be tough...since we would like to say...why don't you go ly down for awhile...and rest......but you know that the other kids her age are not resting and they want to be as normal as possible...when possible....

sure it might tire them out....oh well....sure they might get sick and not be able to go thru with it..... oh well....thats life....I might fall donw the steps and break a leg and not be able to do what I have planned....so it is the same for everyone...

the main thing I think about it their emotional statis....they need to feel normal...very important when growing up...and really always....so don't put a bubble around Kels....Oh believe me there have been many times in the last 12 yrs that I would have felt better about doing that with Tyler....but he would have been miserable...and he would have HATED me for it....

so sit back...enjoy her enjouing herself....and just be there when she needs you...a soft place to land....

take lots of pictures....she will love to look back at them in the future ...and so will you....

Kels.....GO FO IT...

I think one of the toughest things as a mom...(parent) is to stand back and let them go....and of course tougher when they have health problems....but it is what we have to do....for them to be normal productive people....

I hope all goes well and that she has a ball ...

talk later ...

take care

LUanne

[ ] As a mom what should I do?

Kels has come home from school and informed she has signed up for aLip Sync Contest at school. She is really excited and her mouth wasgoing a 100 miles an hour...Im reluctant to say yes its ok.With her blood levels just getting back to where they should be andshes so tired at the end of the day, how is she going to take thison, rehearse for it? On top of school and dance lessons? What ifbefore the show she becomes ill and cant go thru with it? Wont thatbe worse for her?HELP!I want her to do things that make her happy but not at the expense ofit making her ill again.I know I should let her do it, if she wasnt ill Id say go for it, itsnot so easy now.Thanks in advanceTrish

[Guest guest]

WOW great words Lu.....I couldnt have said that any better!! I hope Kels enjoys all of it....I ditto what Lu Anne said....GO FOR IT!!! (and be there for a soft landing...Mom!!)

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

Beckie

[Guest guest]

Trish, let her do the contest….she is a kid and this disease, where it

robs us of a lot, don’t let it rob her of fun! Being a Mom with a

chronically ill child is terrible. I know…I was one. However, at times,

I had to hold my tongue and let my son do what he wanted to do…..difficult,

yes, but necessary also…..things will work out the way they are supposed

to.

Debby

[ ] As a mom

what should I do?

Kels has come home from school and informed she has

signed up for a

Lip Sync Contest at school. She is really excited

and her mouth was

going a 100 miles an hour...Im reluctant to say

yes its ok.

With her blood levels just getting back to where

they should be and

shes so tired at the end of the day, how is she

going to take this

on, rehearse for it? On top of school and dance

lessons? What if

before the show she becomes ill and cant go thru

with it? Wont that

be worse for her?

HELP!

I want her to do things that make her happy but

not at the expense of

it making her ill again.

I know I should let her do it, if she wasnt ill Id

say go for it, its

not so easy now.

Thanks in advance

Trish