Guest guest Posted February 17, 2001 Report Share Posted February 17, 2001 Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress now, since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like I have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the depression, and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my diet. If I could get these things under control I would be allot better. The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of this whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I feel such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in my health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these thoughts, when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an option that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more than happy to put implants back in me, ha ha. Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of course realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what if I got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out of bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy how your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I am blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, and that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, I am back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous flowers, a dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate like a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them off ! HA! so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. AH! it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held me back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in July then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went with my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, then sad they are gone. I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so I need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over it. I mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get over the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe in time it will go away, as the wounds heal. thankyou for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2001 Report Share Posted February 17, 2001 Hey , I can relate to the feeling about the breasts, and the loss of the implants. However, as much as it got me down, I do feel that the one thing that helped me the most was to get the breast enhancers. I have worn breast enhancers in my bra now for 3 years. I got them before I got the implants out, so that I would not have to suffer through walking around flat chested in the aftermath. I figured well, heck, if I was going to have fake boobs inside my chest, what's the difference if I have fake boobs inside my bra? (Only my health, that's all!) I have felt very comfortable wearing the enhancers, and don't even think about them now. They are a part of me. If I am not wearing them, I feel naked. I know that is not such a good thing, but I do not suffer from any lack of confidence about not having " boobs " , when wearing my clothes. Yes, it would be nice to have larger breasts for sexual pleasure. I cannot deny that fact, but I also know that I can't do anything about it, except maybe try some herbs and see what happens. Maybe your weight lifting will help as well. Remember , the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Accept your breasts. Get some enhancers for your bra. Wear the clothes you want. Find the ones that make you feel good about yourself. Be happy. Move forward, and don't look at the past. With love, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2001 Report Share Posted February 17, 2001 Dearest Jackie, What do you think about acknowdging that you are indeed a beautiful person; always have been, and you have finally learned that the beauty within yourself, as well as your exterior beauty --- has absolutely nothing to do with any body parts!??? Now, this is who you are and your're abot to stand inside yourself and be happy with this! With much love and experience, MM / NSIF Martha Murdock, DirectorNational Silicone Implant FoundationDallas, Texas Headquarters ----- Original Message ----- From: Jackie Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 7:25 PM Subject: Re: Hey Oh , my heart goes out to ya. You are so right to list all the improvements and feel blessed with them and you are so right to vent about losing the implants. Are you taking anything for the depression itself . If you could lift that depression somewhat if not all, you might not have to go thru that merry go round everyday with your emotions. When we are depressed we tend to focus on whatever is bothering us and sometimes take it to the point of being obsessive. I'm not saying your being obsessive, or...well...are you? What do you think? When I went for my live blood analysis last Tues the Microbiologist recommended L-Tyrosine during the day and 5HTP at night. It has been helping me. Perhaps there is still a chemical imbalance there that needs to be addressed. I'm sorry I don't have any great suggestions but at least you know you can come here and say what you like. What about the natural herbs that Patty is taking that are supposed to help enhance breasts. Have you ever tried any of them? Keep coming back kiddo, we miss ya. J ----- Original Message ----- From: carina063@... Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 11:37 AM Subject: Hey Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress now, since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like I have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the depression, and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my diet.If I could get these things under control I would be allot better. The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of this whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I feel such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in my health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these thoughts, when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an option that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more than happy to put implants back in me, ha ha.Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of course realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what if I got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out of bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy how your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I am blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, and that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, I am back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous flowers, a dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate like a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them off ! HA!so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. AH! it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held me back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in July then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went with my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, then sad they are gone. I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so I need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over it. I mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get over the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe in time it will go away, as the wounds heal.thankyou for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2001 Report Share Posted February 17, 2001 Dearest , Again, I must tell you a certain amount of depression is natural, even as a result of anesthesia only. However, I insist you now focus on your positive attributes, i.e., your smile, your eyes, your legs, your inner-beauty, and focus on all the others with your similar problems and how you may help them. Helping just one other woman through this quagmire of BI mess will give you much joy within yourself. Again, I will say, you will comprehend your own total beauty, once you realize it has nothing to do with 'body parts'. You must realize this is 'who' you are and 'you' are able to stand inside yourself and be happy with this! Love & Blessings, Martha / NSIF Martha Murdock, Director National Silicone Implant Foundation Dallas, Texas Headquarters ----- Original Message ----- From: <carina063@...> < > Sent: Sunday, February 18, 2001 12:07 AM Subject: Re: Hey > Jackie > Tell me more about the stuff your taking for depression. Is it very > expensive and does it help? I tried all kinds of medications when I > still had the implants, even though I didn't feel I had true clinical > depression I felt it was situational, who wouldn't be depressed? > Well, it kind of seems to be the same situation now only it is worse, > and it does seem I am way obsessed with this, but the meds don't work > well on me, the side effects are intolerable. I was on st johns wart > before and it didn't do anything, plus no sunlight or tanning on that > stuff, so that is out, as the tanning thing seems to be making me > feel better, I look great with a tan, and that makes me feel better > of course. So anyway let me know what you can about the natural anti > depressants. I feel once I get my life in order here things will be > better also, I have allot of things going on, personal stuff, maybe > moving to another state, etc....so I am pretty stressed and focusing > on my breasts all the time is driving me nuts. > Thanks, > > > > > In @y..., " Jackie " <poopie@t...> wrote: > > Oh , my heart goes out to ya. You are so right to list all > the improvements and feel blessed with them and you are so right to > vent about losing the implants. Are you taking anything for the > depression itself . If you could lift that depression somewhat > if not all, you might not have to go thru that merry go round > everyday with your emotions. When we are depressed we tend to focus > on whatever is bothering us and sometimes take it to the point of > being obsessive. I'm not saying your being obsessive, > or...well...are you? What do you think? When I went for my live > blood analysis last Tues the Microbiologist recommended L-Tyrosine > during the day and 5HTP at night. It has been helping me. Perhaps > there is still a chemical imbalance there that needs to be > addressed. I'm sorry I don't have any great suggestions but at least > you know you can come here and say what you like. What about the > natural herbs that Patty is taking that are supposed to help enhance > breasts. Have you ever tried any of them? Keep coming back kiddo, > we miss ya. J > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: carina063@h... > > @y... > > Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 11:37 AM > > Subject: Hey > > > > > > Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress > now, > > since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like > I > > have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel > > that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things > > holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the > depression, > > and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my > diet. > > If I could get these things under control I would be allot > better. > > The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of > this > > whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get > > past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I > feel > > such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in > my > > health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. > > There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of > > putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, > > etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these > thoughts, > > when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if > > things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an > option > > that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more > than > > happy to put implants back in me, ha ha. > > > > Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of > course > > realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what > if I > > got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out > of > > bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy > how > > your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I > am > > blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, > and > > that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, > I am > > back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could > > with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous > flowers, a > > dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate > like > > a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them > off ! HA! > > so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. > AH! > > it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue > > because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held > me > > back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in > July > > then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went > with > > my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, > then > > sad they are gone. > > I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so > I > > need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over > it. I > > mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? > > Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if > > anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get > over > > the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is > > something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe > in > > time it will go away, as the wounds heal. > > thankyou for letting me vent. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2001 Report Share Posted February 17, 2001 Patty, No no breast enhancers for me...a waterbra or wonderbra maybe but not the enhancers. My problem is not in clothes it is out of clothes and all the enhancers in the world will not take that away. I look fine in clothes and it doesn't bug me at all...it is of course when I am naked and that is what is eating me up right now. I am very much a sexual person and I feel I will never be the same again when it comes to sex and this is driving me to want to try to replace the implants, crazy as it seems. In @y..., " Patty " <faussettdp@m...> wrote: > Hey , > I can relate to the feeling about the breasts, and the loss of the implants. > However, as much as it got me down, I do feel that the one thing that helped > me the most was to get the breast enhancers. > > I have worn breast enhancers in my bra now for 3 years. I got them before I > got the implants out, so that I would not have to suffer through walking > around flat chested in the aftermath. > > I figured well, heck, if I was going to have fake boobs inside my chest, > what's the difference if I have fake boobs inside my bra? (Only my health, > that's all!) I have felt very comfortable wearing the enhancers, and don't > even think about them now. They are a part of me. If I am not wearing > them, I feel naked. I know that is not such a good thing, but I do not > suffer from any lack of confidence about not having " boobs " , when wearing my > clothes. > > Yes, it would be nice to have larger breasts for sexual pleasure. I cannot > deny that fact, but I also know that I can't do anything about it, except > maybe try some herbs and see what happens. Maybe your weight lifting will > help as well. > > Remember , the Serenity Prayer: > > God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, > The courage to change the things I can, > and the Wisdom to know the difference. > > Accept your breasts. > > Get some enhancers for your bra. > > Wear the clothes you want. Find the ones that make you feel good about > yourself. > > Be happy. > > Move forward, and don't look at the past. > > With love, > Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2001 Report Share Posted February 18, 2001 Oh , my heart goes out to ya. You are so right to list all the improvements and feel blessed with them and you are so right to vent about losing the implants. Are you taking anything for the depression itself . If you could lift that depression somewhat if not all, you might not have to go thru that merry go round everyday with your emotions. When we are depressed we tend to focus on whatever is bothering us and sometimes take it to the point of being obsessive. I'm not saying your being obsessive, or...well...are you? What do you think? When I went for my live blood analysis last Tues the Microbiologist recommended L-Tyrosine during the day and 5HTP at night. It has been helping me. Perhaps there is still a chemical imbalance there that needs to be addressed. I'm sorry I don't have any great suggestions but at least you know you can come here and say what you like. What about the natural herbs that Patty is taking that are supposed to help enhance breasts. Have you ever tried any of them? Keep coming back kiddo, we miss ya. J ----- Original Message ----- From: carina063@... Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 11:37 AM Subject: Hey Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress now, since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like I have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the depression, and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my diet.If I could get these things under control I would be allot better. The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of this whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I feel such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in my health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these thoughts, when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an option that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more than happy to put implants back in me, ha ha.Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of course realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what if I got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out of bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy how your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I am blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, and that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, I am back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous flowers, a dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate like a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them off ! HA!so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. AH! it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held me back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in July then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went with my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, then sad they are gone. I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so I need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over it. I mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get over the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe in time it will go away, as the wounds heal.thankyou for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2001 Report Share Posted February 18, 2001 Jackie Tell me more about the stuff your taking for depression. Is it very expensive and does it help? I tried all kinds of medications when I still had the implants, even though I didn't feel I had true clinical depression I felt it was situational, who wouldn't be depressed? Well, it kind of seems to be the same situation now only it is worse, and it does seem I am way obsessed with this, but the meds don't work well on me, the side effects are intolerable. I was on st johns wart before and it didn't do anything, plus no sunlight or tanning on that stuff, so that is out, as the tanning thing seems to be making me feel better, I look great with a tan, and that makes me feel better of course. So anyway let me know what you can about the natural anti depressants. I feel once I get my life in order here things will be better also, I have allot of things going on, personal stuff, maybe moving to another state, etc....so I am pretty stressed and focusing on my breasts all the time is driving me nuts. Thanks, In @y..., " Jackie " <poopie@t...> wrote: > Oh , my heart goes out to ya. You are so right to list all the improvements and feel blessed with them and you are so right to vent about losing the implants. Are you taking anything for the depression itself . If you could lift that depression somewhat if not all, you might not have to go thru that merry go round everyday with your emotions. When we are depressed we tend to focus on whatever is bothering us and sometimes take it to the point of being obsessive. I'm not saying your being obsessive, or...well...are you? What do you think? When I went for my live blood analysis last Tues the Microbiologist recommended L-Tyrosine during the day and 5HTP at night. It has been helping me. Perhaps there is still a chemical imbalance there that needs to be addressed. I'm sorry I don't have any great suggestions but at least you know you can come here and say what you like. What about the natural herbs that Patty is taking that are supposed to help enhance breasts. Have you ever tried any of them? Keep coming back kiddo, we miss ya. J > ----- Original Message ----- > From: carina063@h... > @y... > Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 11:37 AM > Subject: Hey > > > Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress now, > since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like I > have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel > that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things > holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the depression, > and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my diet. > If I could get these things under control I would be allot better. > The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of this > whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get > past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I feel > such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in my > health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. > There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of > putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, > etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these thoughts, > when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if > things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an option > that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more than > happy to put implants back in me, ha ha. > > Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of course > realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what if I > got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out of > bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy how > your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I am > blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, and > that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, I am > back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could > with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous flowers, a > dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate like > a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them off ! HA! > so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. AH! > it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue > because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held me > back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in July > then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went with > my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, then > sad they are gone. > I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so I > need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over it. I > mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? > Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if > anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get over > the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is > something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe in > time it will go away, as the wounds heal. > thankyou for letting me vent. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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