Re: Grubby Hubby/Gloria

[Guest guest]

Glora,

Well said. Yes, I think my husband is feeling the cost of living alone. He seems to be coming over here since he doesn't work his job anymore. He did construction under the table and pulls permits. But their is no work and he is worrying. So I suspect he will be asking me for something and guess what, he isn't getting it. He wants me to buy him sneakers. I hit 10K on a 5 dollar scratch ticket on Halloween nite when I took my daughter out. I bought 2 tickets and scratched them later and couldn't believe my eyes 10 grand, no lie. Best Halloween I ever had. Now, I think he is looking for a handout now that his funds are low. So now he can suffer.

I do well with my 3 family the rents are astronomical to live here. My two rentals are worth 2,000 a month. So I don't pay anything to live here and I bought the house before I married him, ha! What goes around comes around and it's going back to him!

sharon

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...> Sent: Thu, December 2, 2010 5:41:32 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Husbands

SharonMy husband didn't want any responsibility, period. He did best going away to work in a logging camp for two weeks out of every 3. There, he didn't have to participate in day to day life. Then, when he doesn't work for awhile, he gets nasty and it's always at me. Yet, he's 68 yrs old.Now, for the first time in his life, he's the one that has to figure out how to pay bills when there isn't very much money. I did it for the yrs there wasn't very much and so now I just hide the grin when he tells me that he can't afford this or that.The reason I didn't use my size 6 shoes, was because I was intimately aware of how much it costs. So, I was happier to buy this RV and continue to live out where I am. Sure, it's no free ride; but, I don't need a room mate just to ensure my bills get paid.But, as it is now, my husband has made his bed and he has to lie in it. He always did belittle my contribution to the household. Now he's probably realizing that he doesn't do very well without the little that I get on disability and for my work.Gloria

Gloria,

This is my take on the husbands. For me, my husband does not want any responsibility. So he makes me look crazy. He justifies in his head that I am nuts. I am nuts because I tell everyone who will listen that he won't do his fatherly responsibilities which is the truth. I tell the truth and he doesn't like it.

Gloria,

What a nerve of him to say that to you. I would have pushed his ass out the door with my size 10 foot. Chatterbox, what the hell are you suppose to do walk around with duck tape on your mouth all day flailing your arms??

They new what they were getting into (my hubs too). They just figured out, oh, we don't get along?? Yeah right, my husband probably saw the bills rolling in and he decided to roll on out. Hello, hello anyone home in their heads, fools!

Keep on talking gloria, glad to hear ya!

sharon

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...> Sent: Wed, December 1, 2010 8:38:39 PMSubject: Re: [ ] VIRAL LOAD - Sharon

SharonMy husband says that all my chatter was one thing that drove him away. However, I was born a chatterbox and try as I might, I'm still a chatterbox at 60 yrs old. In fact, if I stay quiet for too long, everyone wants to know what is wrong. So, I was already a chatterbox when the husband and I met - was it my fault that after over 20 yrs later, he chose to make it a big issue?? He hardly ever talks and certainly can not start a conversation at all. Also, his previous two wives were also chatterboxes, so one would have to ask, is he not obviously attracted to a woman that talks to much?? Sure lets him off the hook.Now, how much do you really think that I chattered when I was sick

and had to stay in bed?? Then for years, we'd have dinner and then retire to our own computers!! There was no talking. Also, I knew better than to chatter all through a hockey game and I swear they play hockey just about the whole year around now.I know that if your husband has the ADHD, he simply can not help but jump into a conversation. It's not that we mean to at all, its more because of all the thoughts that are going through our minds, we have to get some of them out before we blow like a pressure cooker.My son appears to be anything but ADHD. The only physical thing that he's ever done quickly in his life, was being born. I swear that when he came out, he looked around and thought to himself "is this why I was in a hurry", then he closed his eyes and wouldn't open them again for 3 weeks. However, his mind is going so fast that he has a hard time. He finally learned how to prioritize

his thoughts and can automatically put someone on hold until their turn comes up. I couldn't tell you how many times I've asked him something on MSN and finally went to bed with no answer. Then, in the morning, there is an MSN from when he answered. Trouble is, by that time, I've forgotten the question.Gloria

Gloria,

It does sound like my husband is always yelling and I say, STOP YELLING AT ME! He says Im not and I say YES you are. He always loses his battle with me. That's why he doesn't live here anymore. He just shuts up when he knows it's time. But I can't even talk to people without him butting in on my conversation, taking it over and making me look like I have no opinion because he keeps blabbing. I literally say in front of people in a conversation with my husband, EXCUSE ME, BUT I WAS TALKING IF YOU DON'T MIND. Then he just shuts up. Finally!

He says he has A through Z about his ADHD/ADD. lol he does talk about the bible alot he knows alot of scriptures which I have no clue. He was an altar boy, and his mother went to church every morning.

sharon

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...> Sent: Tue, November 30, 2010 11:14:04 PMSubject: Re: [ ] VIRAL LOAD - Sharon

SharonI hate to say it; but, I haven't met too many alcoholics or addicts that are not self-centred!!! That does include me as well! It's probably one of the biggest reasons that we fall into addiction. However, if one does honestly work the 12 steps, they have a chance of becoming very caring people. The bottom line to anyone's 12th step program should be "give away what you have so freely been given".Also, I am stricken with the ADHD!! You should hear how fast my mouth can move if there is a good opinionated talk going on. I love it because then I get to know a little more about the person that it may sound as if I'm arguing with. On the other hand, some of my husband's family point this out as a character defect.

My husband never could keep up with me; but, he wins when it comes to saying the most hurtful things.May I also suggest, you won't be winning too many arguments with your husband ever. It's just the nature of the addictive personality and the ADHD. I know that I'm the type that heard what you said; but, I'd stay in the argument until I have a chance to go and research whatever we were arguing about. That includes my own personality type. If I weigh out what he said and think that it's valid, then yes, I'll try to change that about myself. But, I won't do anything if I'm being accused of behaviour that I'm not capable of.When it comes to my husband, usually he's just blaming me and tries to say that it is a character defect, when in fact, it's just him trying to control me. Well, he stayed stuck in his rut of blaming me for everything for too long. We are a dead issue now. There is nothing

left anymore. He's said away too many nasty things and so for me, it's absolutely over.Gloria

Gloria,

I know all too well about alcohol. My friends and I would drink like it was armaggedon in my 20s. Slowed down in 30s. Stopped 40ish. My son has addictions like me and my hubs. We took him to see my hub get his first year medallion, but he didn't really care. My sister has this guy from AA that my son likes, he's in tip top shape and all. He is going to talk to my son. This guy found out he had Hep C when he was

17 yo kinda like my son, and this guy is in the AA program. So, this might inspire my son that sometimes you don't need treatment if you don't want it and you can still be healthy. But, you have to take care of yourself and not drink and get checked by a doctor all the time.

You know what my son was upset about when he heard he had hep C. The fact that he couldn't DRINK. Now, maybe this is for a reason I am starting to believe.

I know I have to lay off my hubs. He always talks about himself and it gets me mad. I have to say I am not talking about you I am talking about your SON. My hub is selfish. He also has ADD/ADHD So I have to yell at him to get a word in. It's kinda normal, it's like yelling at a little kid to shut his mouth. He is denying his cirrosis. The doctor that did did his gallbladder, they had to open him up because his gallbladder had about 50 stones in it or something like that. Well after the operation the doctor called and said to me on the phone right after the surgery that I am sorry Mrs. Mc, but your husband has the start of cirrosis. Now, my husband says to this day that the dr. was a quack (he was not a good doctor he released my hub that day and my hub almost died he was bleeding internally and had to be rushed back to the hospital where they did an exploratory, diff. hospital.) But to get

back to the cirrosis. My husband said that the quack screwed up his record and got it all wrong. I said Hello, this doctor saw your insides, saw your liver with his own eyes, not a chart, and he said sorrry to tell you Mrs. Mc but your husband has the start of cirrosis. That's why I always yell at him. He is in denial also. But he is healthy he has a good immune system.

He is having a hard time believing that my son has the hep. I need him to help me with this. He thinks that my son will be fine which he could and which he could not, correct? So, he pisses me off! Thank god I don't live with him. I thought he would be more helpful I am kinda shocked. I hope he is there for me. He better be I was there for him for 30 years, I told him, I dumped an Engineer for him. lol

tx

sharon

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...> Sent: Mon, November 29, 2010 10:47:00 PMSubject: Re: [ ] VIRAL LOAD - Sharon

However, SharonYou should not be concerning yourself about your husband's infection. The fact that he has told you several times that he has no viral load, should just be accepted and it is probably true.However, it is far different for your son!! He needs to understand clearly that your son does have active HepC!!! Surely, since Dad is involved in AA, he could talk to his son about the fact that your son is also very likely to have whatever gene it is, that causes addiction!! Better yet, perhaps your husband knows of younger people in the program that can talk to him and especially if he knows someone that also has HepC. Around the AA program that is not a very hard thing to find at all.Gloria

Hi Sharon

There is no need to scream and fight with your husband.

We have already discussed Antibodies vs Viral Load.

- Antibodies are only a marker [an immune system signpost] - not the actual virus.

- A Viral Load means that YOU HAVE THE VIRUS - active in your body, right now.

Going by antibodys alone, your husband may or may not have the virus.

Until he has the Viral Load test he cannot know - FOR SURE.

The Viral Load counts how many copys of the virus are floating about in one's blood.

It is all really very simple.

There is nothing to fight about.

If your husband cannot understand this - DO NOT FIGHT with him.

Tell him to contact me, and I will provide him with 'PROOF'

ludichrist2000@...

Or you can have go to the HCV Links Library - and start reading.

http://health.dir./group/ /links

You can also tell him that HCV - can - cause liver damage, and KILL a person.

I can provide him of 'PROOF' of this also.

But do not argue with him.

Some people will not listen, even if you hit them upside the head with a Mac Truck.

love

don in ks